Dr. Neder on Beliefs
June 28, 2005 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Got an email from blog poster Handsom Man (who seems to have his own blog now, by the way =) who referenced an article written by Dr. Neder, of DYD fame, on Beliefs. So if you’re looking for some good info on Inner Game stuff, check it out by reading on below…
Update!
Just got this email from the good doctor himself…
Dr. Neder writes:
Hello ThunderCat!I appreciate you
posting my article on your site. However I’d like to point out just a few
discrepancies:1) I’m not of "DYD"
fame. I’ve written two books, recorded CD’s, written hundreds of articles, done
hundreds of TV and radio appearances, all under "Being a Man in a Woman’s
World". Perhaps you could correct that?2) I post articles
free of use (a new one each week by the way if you’re interested), and ask only
that you always include the following byline with them (at the end of the
article):————
Have a love, dating,
relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me
at dwneder@beingaman.com for answers.
For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman’s World" (volumes I
& II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion
group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman. Copyright (c) 2005,
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
————
Dr. Dennis Neder’s Post on Beliefs
This is an interesting question with an even more interesting answer.
One
of the most popular forms of psychotherapy involves helping the client
change their belief system in order to deal with situations in
different ways. I have actually been working on a new method that is
more direct. I won’t go into all of this here as it’s far too
complicated and involved for the subject. However, here are some basic
steps you can use right now in order to begin this process:
1) Start with the end in mind.
In
other words, what outcome do you want? It’s not enough to simply say "I
want to meet chicks." Instead, you have to be very specific here and do
the same type of work you’d do with your goals. You can say something
like, "I will [note the positive, present tense in the statement] meet
5 women that fit my type in the next 30 days." You also have to
determine your "type" which you will from BAM1.
2) Visualize how your life will be different when you’ve reached your goal.
Can
you imagine what changes will occur in your life when you’ve
accomplished this? You absolutely must! Try to picture the positive
feelings of having 5 women’s numbers that want you to call them.
Imagine the calmness you’ll feel in relieving the tension from your
goal. By setting a goal like this, you create tension. That’s
important. By reaching it, you relieve this tension. That’s important
too. Work on imagining how you’ll feel, how things will look and even
how the world sounds when you’ve accomplished your goal! Focus on the
fact that you’re changing fundamentally simply in reaching your goal.
It’s that very change that’s critical. Once you change, you’ll never go
back to being the way you were before.
3) Turn up these feelings.
It’s
not enough to simply say, "Ok, I feel this way – that’s nice." You now
need to amplify them and feel them throughout your body. You need to
visualize the positive impact of reaching your goal and actually enjoy
the success – even though you haven’t yet reached it. Continue to do
this at least twice every day for the next week. More often and longer
is even better.
Think of this as a reward for having set the
goal in the first place. Reward yourself by imaging all the good things
you deserve as having already come to you and think deeply of the
person you’ll become through it. Don’t just feel good about the goal,
feel good about whom you’ve become in reaching the goal. The difference
is critical.
4) Project those feelings into action.
Before
you set out to actually accomplish your goal, "project forward" into
time that feeling of accomplishment. Get excited about achieving that
first (or next) step along your way. Actually see [through your own
eyes] that experience of accomplishing the first step. Imagine how
confident and centered you’ll feel because you’ve done it. Then, get
excited about the next step. Use the feelings of excitement to create
enthusiasm in your goal and continue to spur you on.
5) Continue to act until you reach your goal.
Don’t
give up. Continue your actions until you reach your goals. Give
concerted effort to accomplishing them, but don’t beat your head
against a wall. If your plans don’t help you get where you want to go,
then find new plans. Write your goals in concrete – they are never
changing; but write your plans in sand. The methods you use to
accomplish your goals aren’t important. Accomplishing them is!
6) Reward yourself for each accomplishment – even small ones.
These
rewards don’t have to be huge but they should have meaning. In other
words, it’s ok to tell yourself, "Good job!" and to feel that reward.
Likewise, as you continue along in accomplishing your goals, it’s ok -
and even good – to reward yourself in other ways too.
7) Don’t fail to set your next goal before you’re finished with the first!
This
is important. If you don’t set the next goal and try to ride the high
of accomplishing the first, you’ll never get very far. You want to
constantly be moving in the direction of your bigger, more important
goals by setting smaller ones short-term. Each step along the way gets
you closer to your big goals, but you need to see the next step before
you get to the end of the current one. In effect, these smaller goals
overlap into accomplishing your bigger goals. Your bigger goals overlap
into accomplishing your ultimate goals, and finally your ultimate goals
overlap into accomplishing your life’s plan.
————
Have a love, dating,
relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me
at dwneder@beingaman.com for answers.
For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman’s World" (volumes I
& II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion
group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman. Copyright (c) 2005,
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
————
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The Mountain Fire began early Wednesday and was driven by winds gusting over 60 mph. The flames have seared through more than 20,485 acres of land, according to Cal Fire.
The families who evacuated at a moment’s notice, some who say they have now lost their homes, must deal with other losses that can also be devastating, from daily essentials like medications and shoes to meaningful possessions such as sculptures and artwork, to treasured keepsakes from the birth of a child or the life of a parent.
At least 132 properties have been destroyed by the fire, while 88 have been left damaged, Ventura County Fire Department officials said Thursday evening. Ten damage inspection teams have been deployed to inspect structures along the path of the blaze.
Ten people endured non-life-threatening injuries from the Mountain Fire, which are mostly related to smoke inhalation, Ventura County Sheriff Jim Fryhoff said.
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Japan is famed for its skilled artisans, masters who maintain a commitment to tradition while modernizing production techniques in line with the development of new materials and processes.
Many places in the country have grown famous by focusing on specific crafts, from exquisite kimonos to perfectly designed knives. Among them is the small city of Sabae, in Fukui prefecture, about a 3.5-hour train ride from Tokyo.
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It’s widely known as Japan’s eyeglasses capital – and for good reason. Sabae produces over 90% of the frames manufactured in the country, according to the local government. Signs and objects shaped like eyeglasses can be found on city streets, and there’s even a museum and festival devoted to spectacles.
The art of making spectacles
Sabae, located on Japan’s main Honshu island near the city of Fukui, has been producing quality eyewear for more than a century.
It all started in 1905, when a local government official invited skilled eyeglasses artisans to come to the city to teach their craft, an attempt to create new opportunities for local farmers.
The move paid off. Today, Sabae has over 100 companies that collaborate to make pairs of glasses.
Though these studios use cutting-edge machinery to produce new frames made of metal and acetate, most stages still require the skilled hands and trained eyes of Sabae’s master artisans.
That includes Takeshi Yamae, a frame designer with Japanese brand Boston Club who has lived in the city for 17 years. He tells CNN one pair of glasses can involve more than 200 steps.
“I first design it, sketch it, then put it into my computer,” he says. “From the time I start designing, to the time I have the perfect product, it takes more than a year.”
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Earth ring theory may shed light on an unexplained ancient climate event, scientists say
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Famously known for its extensive ring system, Saturn is one of four planets in our solar system that have the distinctive feature. And now, scientists hypothesize that Earth may have sported its own ring some 466 million years ago.
During the Ordovician Period, a time of significant changes for Earth’s life-forms, plate tectonics and climate, the planet experienced a peak in meteorite strikes. Nearly two dozen impact craters known to occur during this time were all within 30 degrees of Earth’s equator, signaling that the meteoroids may have rained down from a rocky ring around the planet, according to a study published September 12 in the journal Earth and Planetary Science Letters.
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“It’s statistically unusual that you would get 21 craters all relatively close to the equator. It shouldn’t happen. They should be randomly distributed,” said lead author Andrew Tomkins, a geologist and professor of Earth and planetary sciences at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia.
Not only does the new hypothesis shed light on the origins of the spike in meteorite impacts, but it also may provide an answer to a previously unexplained event: A global deep freeze, one of the coldest climate events in Earth’s history, may have been a result of the ring’s shadow.
Scientists are hoping to find out more about the possible ring. It could help answer the mysteries of Earth’s history as well as pose new questions about the influence an ancient ring could have had on evolutionary development, Tomkins said.
Family hasn’t heard from Hawaii woman in over a week after she misses flight to New York
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It’s been more than a week since Hannah Kobayashi missed a flight connection in Los Angeles. After a series of suspicious texts from her phone, the 30-year-old Hawaii woman has gone silent – and her family is desperately trying to find her.
Kobayashi was traveling from Maui, Hawaii, to New York and had a connecting flight at Los Angeles International Airport, her sister, Sydni, told CNN by phone Monday. She had the same itinerary as an ex-boyfriend; the pair decided to keep their flights since they couldn’t get a refund but would be going their separate ways once they landed at John F. Kennedy International Airport.
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Hannah was going to spend time in upstate New York with her aunt, Sydni said. But November 11 was the last day anyone heard from her.
Sydni said text messages from Hannah in the lead-up to her disappearance did not sound like her. Hannah used words like “hun,” “love” and “babe.”
“I personally don’t think that was my sister,” Sydni said. “She doesn’t use the word ‘hun.’ ‘Love’ and ‘babe,’ but never ‘hun.’ Even her close friends have said the same.”
Sydni added, “The reason why it’s so concerning is because we’re so close and I’ve known her to always be very grounded and she’s always had a calm and collected demeanor. Yes, she’s a free and independent spirit and she likes to travel, she’s a writer and photographer, but she’s never done anything like this on purpose.”
‘We barely made it out’: Californians desperately flee their homes amid raging wildfires
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Terrie Morin, 60, and her husband, Dave, were at the barber shop when they heard about a raging wildfire making headway toward their Camarillo home on Wednesday morning.
The couple were hosting two guests at the time, but because their guests worked late, Morin suspected they slept through the residence’s fire alarms.
“I run in the house, and I’m banging on the door, and they did not hear me. They were knocked out,” Morin told CNN. “Get the dog. Get out of here. You don’t have time, just get out!” she recalled telling them.
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Ten minutes later, Dave noticed sparks in their backyard. The temperature was also picking up.
“It was hot. It was so hot,” Morin recalled.
Dozens of homes in California’s Ventura County were set alight in a sweeping wildfire that burned through thousands of acres of land in just a matter of hours midweek –– prompting authorities to send more than 14,000 evacuation notices across the region.
The Mountain Fire began early Wednesday and was driven by winds gusting over 60 mph. The flames have seared through more than 20,485 acres of land, according to Cal Fire.
The families who evacuated at a moment’s notice, some who say they have now lost their homes, must deal with other losses that can also be devastating, from daily essentials like medications and shoes to meaningful possessions such as sculptures and artwork, to treasured keepsakes from the birth of a child or the life of a parent.
At least 132 properties have been destroyed by the fire, while 88 have been left damaged, Ventura County Fire Department officials said Thursday evening. Ten damage inspection teams have been deployed to inspect structures along the path of the blaze.
Ten people endured non-life-threatening injuries from the Mountain Fire, which are mostly related to smoke inhalation, Ventura County Sheriff Jim Fryhoff said.
‘We barely made it out’: Californians desperately flee their homes amid raging wildfires
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Terrie Morin, 60, and her husband, Dave, were at the barber shop when they heard about a raging wildfire making headway toward their Camarillo home on Wednesday morning.
The couple were hosting two guests at the time, but because their guests worked late, Morin suspected they slept through the residence’s fire alarms.
“I run in the house, and I’m banging on the door, and they did not hear me. They were knocked out,” Morin told CNN. “Get the dog. Get out of here. You don’t have time, just get out!” she recalled telling them.
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Ten minutes later, Dave noticed sparks in their backyard. The temperature was also picking up.
“It was hot. It was so hot,” Morin recalled.
Dozens of homes in California’s Ventura County were set alight in a sweeping wildfire that burned through thousands of acres of land in just a matter of hours midweek –– prompting authorities to send more than 14,000 evacuation notices across the region.
The Mountain Fire began early Wednesday and was driven by winds gusting over 60 mph. The flames have seared through more than 20,485 acres of land, according to Cal Fire.
The families who evacuated at a moment’s notice, some who say they have now lost their homes, must deal with other losses that can also be devastating, from daily essentials like medications and shoes to meaningful possessions such as sculptures and artwork, to treasured keepsakes from the birth of a child or the life of a parent.
At least 132 properties have been destroyed by the fire, while 88 have been left damaged, Ventura County Fire Department officials said Thursday evening. Ten damage inspection teams have been deployed to inspect structures along the path of the blaze.
Ten people endured non-life-threatening injuries from the Mountain Fire, which are mostly related to smoke inhalation, Ventura County Sheriff Jim Fryhoff said.