Dr. Neder on Beliefs
June 28, 2005 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Got an email from blog poster Handsom Man (who seems to have his own blog now, by the way =) who referenced an article written by Dr. Neder, of DYD fame, on Beliefs. So if you’re looking for some good info on Inner Game stuff, check it out by reading on below…
Update!
Just got this email from the good doctor himself…
Dr. Neder writes:
Hello ThunderCat!I appreciate you
posting my article on your site. However I’d like to point out just a few
discrepancies:1) I’m not of "DYD"
fame. I’ve written two books, recorded CD’s, written hundreds of articles, done
hundreds of TV and radio appearances, all under "Being a Man in a Woman’s
World". Perhaps you could correct that?2) I post articles
free of use (a new one each week by the way if you’re interested), and ask only
that you always include the following byline with them (at the end of the
article):————
Have a love, dating,
relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me
at dwneder@beingaman.com for answers.
For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman’s World" (volumes I
& II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion
group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman. Copyright (c) 2005,
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
————
Dr. Dennis Neder’s Post on Beliefs
This is an interesting question with an even more interesting answer.
One
of the most popular forms of psychotherapy involves helping the client
change their belief system in order to deal with situations in
different ways. I have actually been working on a new method that is
more direct. I won’t go into all of this here as it’s far too
complicated and involved for the subject. However, here are some basic
steps you can use right now in order to begin this process:
1) Start with the end in mind.
In
other words, what outcome do you want? It’s not enough to simply say "I
want to meet chicks." Instead, you have to be very specific here and do
the same type of work you’d do with your goals. You can say something
like, "I will [note the positive, present tense in the statement] meet
5 women that fit my type in the next 30 days." You also have to
determine your "type" which you will from BAM1.
2) Visualize how your life will be different when you’ve reached your goal.
Can
you imagine what changes will occur in your life when you’ve
accomplished this? You absolutely must! Try to picture the positive
feelings of having 5 women’s numbers that want you to call them.
Imagine the calmness you’ll feel in relieving the tension from your
goal. By setting a goal like this, you create tension. That’s
important. By reaching it, you relieve this tension. That’s important
too. Work on imagining how you’ll feel, how things will look and even
how the world sounds when you’ve accomplished your goal! Focus on the
fact that you’re changing fundamentally simply in reaching your goal.
It’s that very change that’s critical. Once you change, you’ll never go
back to being the way you were before.
3) Turn up these feelings.
It’s
not enough to simply say, "Ok, I feel this way – that’s nice." You now
need to amplify them and feel them throughout your body. You need to
visualize the positive impact of reaching your goal and actually enjoy
the success – even though you haven’t yet reached it. Continue to do
this at least twice every day for the next week. More often and longer
is even better.
Think of this as a reward for having set the
goal in the first place. Reward yourself by imaging all the good things
you deserve as having already come to you and think deeply of the
person you’ll become through it. Don’t just feel good about the goal,
feel good about whom you’ve become in reaching the goal. The difference
is critical.
4) Project those feelings into action.
Before
you set out to actually accomplish your goal, "project forward" into
time that feeling of accomplishment. Get excited about achieving that
first (or next) step along your way. Actually see [through your own
eyes] that experience of accomplishing the first step. Imagine how
confident and centered you’ll feel because you’ve done it. Then, get
excited about the next step. Use the feelings of excitement to create
enthusiasm in your goal and continue to spur you on.
5) Continue to act until you reach your goal.
Don’t
give up. Continue your actions until you reach your goals. Give
concerted effort to accomplishing them, but don’t beat your head
against a wall. If your plans don’t help you get where you want to go,
then find new plans. Write your goals in concrete – they are never
changing; but write your plans in sand. The methods you use to
accomplish your goals aren’t important. Accomplishing them is!
6) Reward yourself for each accomplishment – even small ones.
These
rewards don’t have to be huge but they should have meaning. In other
words, it’s ok to tell yourself, "Good job!" and to feel that reward.
Likewise, as you continue along in accomplishing your goals, it’s ok -
and even good – to reward yourself in other ways too.
7) Don’t fail to set your next goal before you’re finished with the first!
This
is important. If you don’t set the next goal and try to ride the high
of accomplishing the first, you’ll never get very far. You want to
constantly be moving in the direction of your bigger, more important
goals by setting smaller ones short-term. Each step along the way gets
you closer to your big goals, but you need to see the next step before
you get to the end of the current one. In effect, these smaller goals
overlap into accomplishing your bigger goals. Your bigger goals overlap
into accomplishing your ultimate goals, and finally your ultimate goals
overlap into accomplishing your life’s plan.
————
Have a love, dating,
relationship, sex or man/woman question? I answer all email. You can write to me
at dwneder@beingaman.com for answers.
For more information about my books, "Being a Man in a Woman’s World" (volumes I
& II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the discussion
group at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/beingaman. Copyright (c) 2005,
Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
————
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Dodgers star Shohei Ohtani suffers left shoulder injury during Game 2 of the World Series
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Los Angeles Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani suffered a shoulder injury before the Dodgers’ 4-2 win over the New York Yankees in Game 2 of the World Series Saturday.
The Japanese slugger sustained a left shoulder subluxation and will undergo more testing, Los Angeles Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said after the game, adding that the team is however “encouraged” about the injury.
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“The strength was great,” Roberts told reporters. “The range of motion good. So, we’re encouraged. But obviously I can’t speculate because we don’t get the scans yet. So, once we get the scans, we’ll know more. Again, with the strength, the range of motion good, that’s certainly a positive.
A shoulder subluxation occurs when “the humerus partially slides in and out of place quickly,” according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.
With the Dodgers up 4-1 in the bottom of the seventh inning, Ohtani attempted to steal second base but was thrown out to end the inning. Ohtani, however, stayed on the ground grimacing in pain and eventually walked off the field with trainers holding his left arm.
“Obviously when you get any one of your players that goes down, it’s concerning,” Roberts said. “But after kind of the range of motion, the strength test, I felt much better about it.”
According to the FOX broadcast, microphones picked up a conversation between Ohtani and trainers saying that his left shoulder appears to have popped out of its socket.
This weekend’s playoffs mark Ohtani’s first appearance in the postseason after he missed out in each of his six seasons with the Los Angeles Angels.
The star player is riding on a series of remarkable accomplishments in recent months, including hitting his 50th homer of the season and stealing his 50th base in the Dodgers’ victory over the Miami Marlins last Thursday. Ohtani went on to rack up his 51st of each stat by the end of the contest.
Dodgers star Shohei Ohtani suffers left shoulder injury during Game 2 of the World Series
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Los Angeles Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani suffered a shoulder injury before the Dodgers’ 4-2 win over the New York Yankees in Game 2 of the World Series Saturday.
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“The strength was great,” Roberts told reporters. “The range of motion good. So, we’re encouraged. But obviously I can’t speculate because we don’t get the scans yet. So, once we get the scans, we’ll know more. Again, with the strength, the range of motion good, that’s certainly a positive.
A shoulder subluxation occurs when “the humerus partially slides in and out of place quickly,” according to Johns Hopkins Medicine.
With the Dodgers up 4-1 in the bottom of the seventh inning, Ohtani attempted to steal second base but was thrown out to end the inning. Ohtani, however, stayed on the ground grimacing in pain and eventually walked off the field with trainers holding his left arm.
“Obviously when you get any one of your players that goes down, it’s concerning,” Roberts said. “But after kind of the range of motion, the strength test, I felt much better about it.”
According to the FOX broadcast, microphones picked up a conversation between Ohtani and trainers saying that his left shoulder appears to have popped out of its socket.
This weekend’s playoffs mark Ohtani’s first appearance in the postseason after he missed out in each of his six seasons with the Los Angeles Angels.
The star player is riding on a series of remarkable accomplishments in recent months, including hitting his 50th homer of the season and stealing his 50th base in the Dodgers’ victory over the Miami Marlins last Thursday. Ohtani went on to rack up his 51st of each stat by the end of the contest.
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What the rising popularity of Yemeni coffee shops says about third places
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The most popular spot on a late Friday night in a pocket of Manhattan’s West Village isn’t a trendy bar or a Michelin-starred restaurant but a Yemeni coffee house chain strictly serving coffee, tea and pastries.
A step into Qahwah House on Carmine Street offers a rich whiff of cardamom, Arabic music and crowds of people both at tables and in line to order. The energy spills over into the sidewalk, where some begin performing a Levantine folk dance known as dabke. It’s a snapshot of various Eastern cultures; Arabic, Farsi and Urdu fill the air, and some customers don traditional attire.
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Qahwah House is just one of a string of Yemeni coffee chains that originated in the Arab-populated Detroit area and are rapidly springing up across the country, often where there are significant Middle Eastern and Muslim populations. Nineteen Qahwah House locations are open across seven states, with more under construction and expected to open this year. Another chain, Haraz, opened this month in the pricey SoHo neighborhood in Manhattan, with at least six more in the region planned in the next two years. Times Square will be home to two other chains, MOKAFE and Qamaria Yemeni Coffee Co.
The rapid expansion of these shops underscores the demand for late-night social spots for not only young Muslims and Middle Easterners, but also younger people who are looking for a non-digital third space where they can hang out without alcohol or having to yell over loud music.
They don’t have many other options. Malls, a traditional third place for young people, are growing more and more unpopular. Chains like Starbucks have become more like take-out counters. Alcohol-free lifestyles are growing even for those outside of the Muslim faith, which many practicing the religion already take part in.
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The most popular spot on a late Friday night in a pocket of Manhattan’s West Village isn’t a trendy bar or a Michelin-starred restaurant but a Yemeni coffee house chain strictly serving coffee, tea and pastries.
A step into Qahwah House on Carmine Street offers a rich whiff of cardamom, Arabic music and crowds of people both at tables and in line to order. The energy spills over into the sidewalk, where some begin performing a Levantine folk dance known as dabke. It’s a snapshot of various Eastern cultures; Arabic, Farsi and Urdu fill the air, and some customers don traditional attire.
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Qahwah House is just one of a string of Yemeni coffee chains that originated in the Arab-populated Detroit area and are rapidly springing up across the country, often where there are significant Middle Eastern and Muslim populations. Nineteen Qahwah House locations are open across seven states, with more under construction and expected to open this year. Another chain, Haraz, opened this month in the pricey SoHo neighborhood in Manhattan, with at least six more in the region planned in the next two years. Times Square will be home to two other chains, MOKAFE and Qamaria Yemeni Coffee Co.
The rapid expansion of these shops underscores the demand for late-night social spots for not only young Muslims and Middle Easterners, but also younger people who are looking for a non-digital third space where they can hang out without alcohol or having to yell over loud music.
They don’t have many other options. Malls, a traditional third place for young people, are growing more and more unpopular. Chains like Starbucks have become more like take-out counters. Alcohol-free lifestyles are growing even for those outside of the Muslim faith, which many practicing the religion already take part in.
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The most popular spot on a late Friday night in a pocket of Manhattan’s West Village isn’t a trendy bar or a Michelin-starred restaurant but a Yemeni coffee house chain strictly serving coffee, tea and pastries.
A step into Qahwah House on Carmine Street offers a rich whiff of cardamom, Arabic music and crowds of people both at tables and in line to order. The energy spills over into the sidewalk, where some begin performing a Levantine folk dance known as dabke. It’s a snapshot of various Eastern cultures; Arabic, Farsi and Urdu fill the air, and some customers don traditional attire.
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Qahwah House is just one of a string of Yemeni coffee chains that originated in the Arab-populated Detroit area and are rapidly springing up across the country, often where there are significant Middle Eastern and Muslim populations. Nineteen Qahwah House locations are open across seven states, with more under construction and expected to open this year. Another chain, Haraz, opened this month in the pricey SoHo neighborhood in Manhattan, with at least six more in the region planned in the next two years. Times Square will be home to two other chains, MOKAFE and Qamaria Yemeni Coffee Co.
The rapid expansion of these shops underscores the demand for late-night social spots for not only young Muslims and Middle Easterners, but also younger people who are looking for a non-digital third space where they can hang out without alcohol or having to yell over loud music.
They don’t have many other options. Malls, a traditional third place for young people, are growing more and more unpopular. Chains like Starbucks have become more like take-out counters. Alcohol-free lifestyles are growing even for those outside of the Muslim faith, which many practicing the religion already take part in.
So for many young people in urban areas, especially those from immigrant communities looking for a way to connect to their cultures, it’s a great option.
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Medical staff on the front line of the battle against mpox in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo have told the BBC they are desperate for vaccines to arrive so they can stem the rate of new infections.
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At a treatment centre in South Kivu province that the BBC visited in the epicentre of the outbreak, they say more patients are arriving every day – especially babies – and there is a shortage of essential equipment.
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Mpox – formerly known as monkeypox – is a highly contagious disease and has killed at least 635 people in DR Congo this year.
Even though 200,000 vaccines, donated by the European Commission, were flown into the capital, Kinshasa, last week, they are yet to be transported across this vast country – and it could be several weeks before they reach South Kivu.
“We’ve learned from social media that the vaccine is already available,” Emmanuel Fikiri, a nurse working at the clinic that has been turned into a specialist centre to tackle the virus, told the BBC.
He said this was the first time he had treated patients with mpox and every day he feared catching it and passing it on to his own children – aged seven, five and one.
“You saw how I touched the patients because that’s my job as a nurse. So, we’re asking the government to help us by first giving us the vaccines.”
The reason it will take time to transport the vaccines is that they need to be stored at a precise temperature – below freezing – to maintain their potency, plus they need to be sent to rural areas of South Kivu, like Kamituga, Kavumu and Lwiro, where the outbreak is rife.
The lack of infrastructure and bad roads mean that helicopters could possibly be used to drop some of the vaccines, which will further drive up costs in a country that is already struggling financially.
At the community clinic, Dr Pacifique Karanzo appeared fatigued and downbeat having been rushed off his feet all morning.
Although he wore a face shield, I could see the sweat running down his face. He said he was saddened to see patients sharing beds.
“You will even see that the patients are sleeping on the floor,” he told me, clearly exasperated.
“The only support we have already had is a little medicine for the patients and water. As far as other challenges are concerned, there’s still no staff motivation.”
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