Transitioning To Natural Game

Looks like Dimitri isn’t the only excellent poster over at Rapid Social Impact.  Woodhaven has a great post up about how to transition to a more natural pick-up game.  It’s very long, but well worth the read.

Woodhaven writes:
The Transition to Natural Game

I’ve met my share of brothers from the community.  After sarging
with them and watching them in the field, I have seen the same exact
things over and over. They all run nearly the exact type of game, and
have the same problems. I am not criticizing other people’s models, I
am just providing a analysis of the EFFECT that these models are having
on the bulk of the people I meet. I would estimate about 90% of random
community guys I’ve met fall into this category. Again I emphasize that
it is not an inherent flaw in the traditional ASF models, but more how
people are interpreting these models, along with other factors related
to societal conditioning.

This post will serve to help transition those people who are interested
from a "nerd-like" entertainment frame to a smooth natural approach
which is inherently more seductive and effective particularly in
endgame.

I have not posted anything advanced in a short while, so this post is the culmination of the past few months of my work.  Enjoy!

Contents:

1. The two fundamental elements of a pickup.
2. The difference between techniques, mindsets and beliefs.
3. A paradigm shift for ASF models. A full analysis of pop-ASF game vs. natural game.
4. Design the frame for endgame
5. The Continuous Flow of Action.

Related Posts:
-Confident Rapport by Seth Parker
-Rooting: Problem with the who lies more opener by Style
-Insights – Thinking beyond the medium by Razorjack
-Rewriting the Rules for ASF by Imperfect

1. The Two Fundamental Elements Required for Conscious and Deliberate Pickup.

Any active pickup where the man decides who he wants, approaches her
and consciously moves the interaction to sex requires only two things.

They are:

-Strong and unwavering belief that the girl wants him.
-An interactive context which can lead to isolation.

The great part about this is that any context will work. This
represents the differences between all of the methods you see here on
ASF: Be it Gunwitch with his strong rapport assumption and ordinary
conversation, or be it Mystery’s routines which fit into a precise and
linear system. They are both just interactive contexts which can lead
to isolation. The true firepower, however is the set of beliefs driving
the context.

The reason why there is so much focus on context, is because it is
something that can be learned quickly. It’s very easy to learn a few
jokes and tell a few stories and memorize a few openers. Internalizing
good beliefs on the other hand, usually takes months or even years. So
you will see some guys on here telling us to ignore the belief / inner
game stuff and just develop a strong context. While it may be
beneficial to develop a really strong context, we must take care that
our execution of techniques isn’t inhibiting the growth of good beliefs
or installing limiting ones.

The fastest route to mastery is to continue developing strong beliefs
and at the same time become familiar with a variety of contexts — get
a lot of experience under your belt. Adopt a really great inner game
program, and then go into the field and work your techniques. Learn to
handle as many tough situations as possible – large sets, daytime
isolation, amogs,
direct approaches, etc. Realize it can take quite some time before your
beliefs make a significant enough change such that you achieve the kind
of success you’re really after.

2.  Techniques, Mindsets, Beliefs and how they are related.

On the most superficial level, we have techniques. A technique is
something that you say or do while interacting with a woman. We all
have a great deal of conscious control over which techniques we use. On
the flipside, techniques are the least effective part of who you are
and quite useless without the deeper levels mindsets and beliefs.

At the very deepest level, we have our beliefs. Beliefs determine your
reality, and are shaped by your identity. Unlike techniques, we have
very little conscious control over our beliefs. They are so far below
the surface of our awareness that it is nearly impossible to change
them at will. There are probably zen monks who can consciously affect
their beliefs on command, but then again, those guys aren’t trying to
learn to pick up women on an internet chat board — to the best of my
knowledge, anyway.

Now what most people ignore, are the mindsets behind the techniques.
This is the frame through which we deliver our techniques. A mindset
determines the internal dialogue that you experience throughout the
pickup. A mindset can be applied to a group of techniques, and a group
of mindsets is what makes up a belief. Razorjack’s thread "Insights -
Thinking beyond the medium" provides a great explanation of mindsets.
What he refers to as thinking beyond the medium is just assigning a
mindset to each group of your techniques. It simplifies your pickup by
redirecting your focus of attention. Instead of remembering 20
different technical details, you just have one mental focus – a
specific mindset.

Mindsets are easier to change than beliefs, but not as easy to learn as
techniques. Exerting conscious control over your mindsets is the most
effective way to affect your inner game, since they are in direct
contact with your belief system.

Example of a mindset:

Take the c+f line "Whoah, pointy shoes! They’re nice, but I feel sorry
for the little elf you stole them from, who’s now running around
barefoot."

You can deliver the line with the mindset "She’s hot so I have to show
her I’m indifferent / not impressed by her, so she thinks I’m better
than her." -or- you can deliver the line with the mindset "I care about
this woman, I’m enjoying the interaction, and I am joking with her to
make her laugh and feel good."

Obviously the latter is more effective, as the former will come off
insecure. Despite the fact that you are saying the same words, because
you are using two different states of mind, you’ll get two dramatically
different results. Not only will your results be worse, but carrying
the former mindset around will only do harm to your belief system. It
presupposes LOWER VALUE and lack of attraction. No good.

The end goal is to change your beliefs, since they will ultimately have
the greatest effect on your game. Simple repetition of techniques
without the proper mindsets or with incorrect mindsets will do damage
to your belief system. You need to adopt great mindsets to insure
proper development of a belief system.

3. ASF Paradigm Shift.

The traditional model in use by the majority of ASFers I’ve met is the following:

-Assume that girls must be "hooked" in order to be interested in you.  (Sometimes true to varying degrees)
-Approach with prepared opinion opener designed to engage girls, meanwhile feigning disinterest.
-Assume since you’re approaching her, she’s automatically more valuable, so…
-Go right into story to in order to display higher value, which will generate the attraction which was previously not present.
-Continue to tell stories, tease girls until you get clear indication of interest.
-Phase shift into "rapport / comfort" which consists of ordinary
conversation, dropping the personality she was interested in initially.
-Bait her into qualifying herself to you, and no matter what she says, SOI her for that.  (This step ain’t so bad)
-Isolate and escalate.  (This one isn’t either

Six Common Sticking Points in Execution of the Traditional Model.

Sticking Point #1.

The first problem with this approach is that people mouth canned
openers without a context for them. Style had an entire post dedicated
to this point alone, so I won’t go into detail here. (Rooting – problem
with the who lies more opener)

If you want to use opinion openers either: A. Genuinely care about the
topic. -or- B. Make sure it’s obvious that the opinion opener is just
an excuse to talk to her. (In this case, ask it and then quickly change
topics)

Sticking Point #2.

Secondly, guys spend hours and hours on this website, learning
material, preparing a routine stack which is designed to engage girls.
These guys go out of their way to learn these girly topics of
conversation which the majority of us aren’t really interested in, just
to get female attention. And then on top of that, they pretend that
they aren’t really interested in fucking the girls! Then, the moment
they "stack" these girly openers and DHV’s, she’s CONVINCED they want
something and she knows exactly what they are up to. Feigning
disinterest now becomes highly incongruent. I mean seriously. To go out
of your way to learn girly topics of conversation, just to have
permission to talk to chicks is SUPPLICATION. Entering a females
reality just so we can talk to her for a few minutes with the hopes of
fucking her is ridiculous!

Here’s an analogy. What if a girl went out of her way to learn all
about sports or cars or (insert masculine topic here), even though she
didn’t really like or understand these things – just so she could
relate to guys in conversation? This girl doesn’t really care about
these things, but is pretending to, and spending hours and hours on the
internet learning about them, just so she has permission to talk to
guys. Does this telegraph that she has an interesting life? Is she
telegraphing that she is a valued commodity? NO! Exactly the opposite.
If a girl like this came up to me, and talked about things that
interested me, I might engage her for a bit, but would I be ATTRACTED
TO HER? Hell no. Now what if she kept changing subjects and kept
desperately trying to find something I wanted to talk about… would
that make me more likely to find her interesting?

It may appear to work marvelously because it gets new guys into set,
because now they are actually talking to girls whereas previously they
stood there and did nothing, having absolutely zero context. But the
majority of people reading this do not need that kind of content to be
interesting to women.
Learning girly topics of conversation WILL get you to open more sets
consistently – but it’s under an entertainment / girlfriend frame, and
while things will seem great that night, she will be almost guaranteed
to flake. You won’t get laid.

I’ve questioned SHBs
(after I’ve slept with them and they’re more honest) about this. These
are girls who go out and are almost always the hottest girls in the
club, wherever they go. This is what one of them told me:

"Yeah sometimes we talk to guys out of pity. If a guy seems really
weird or is dressed gay or something, we’ll talk to him just so we can
laugh about him later. It’s fun. He thinks he’s getting somewhere, but
then at the end we run away from him laughing."

Girls will talk to sufficiently weird enough guys who "seem gay" for
THEIR OWN ENTERTAINMENT. This is a fact, and very common with hot
girls. They will sit there and eye code each other, loving it, not
because they are sexually attracted, but OUT OF PITY. Don’t design your
game so that you are becoming this type of guy. Sure you are opening
more sets, but it’s for the wrong reason.

Sticking Point #3.

Demonstrating Higher Value. The reason why this is detrimental once
again goes back to the mindset behind it. Feeling the need to
demonstrate higher value is the same feeling that an AFC
has when he starts bragging about his job or car or girls he’s banging.
Sure, you are using a more sophisticated technique, but the mindset and
beliefs behind it are EXACTLY THE SAME.

Never go out of your way to demonstrate higher value. Assume higher
value! You’re the fucking man! You have higher value automatically!

I tell plenty of stories in set, but I do it for fun, because I’m
having fun doing it — not with the intent of "proving myself" to the
girl.

Sticking Point #4.

It is impossible to fake disinterest 100% of the time. Even if you
memorize 5 stories, 3 teases and absolutely MASTER the backturn, it
doesn’t matter because you’ll fail the next test she throws at you.
Women are CONTINUALLY testing guys they are attracted to, and most of
it doesn’t fit a predetermined pattern — IT’s NONVERBAL. I get tested
all the time by women. They’re thinking "Who the fuck does he think he
is, this skinny little fucker… I’m gonna see if he’s for real. I hope
he’s not wasting my time." So they have to test you. They don’t want to
fuck some ingenuine guy that faked the first 10 minutes really well.
You have got to be the real deal through and through, my friend. And
faking any more than you can back up, will just insight more intense
tests which you are bound to fail.

Don’t fake disinterest unless you can back it up 100%.

Sticking Point #5.

Relying on IOI’s in order feel like it’s *on*, instead of assuming
attraction. Thinking too much and calculating your behavior based on
watching for IOI’s. Don’t wait around for IOI’s before feeling good
about the sarge.
Her interest will be based on your vibe anyway, and if your vibe is
dependent on watching for predetermined IOI’s, then you are leaving it
up to chance.

Let’s face it, most IOI’s that people look for are pretty ordinary
behaviors that women exhibit when you talk to them anyway. Some of the
popular one’s I’ve heard are:

She asks you where you’re from – This is one of the most common pieces
of smalltalk when you’re first getting to know each other. She may be
asking you this just to be friendly, it doesn’t mean she wants to fuck
you.

She touches you – women are actually more likely to touch you if they
aren’t as attracted to you, as a way of playing with you. If a woman
senses extremely high value, and is a bit intimidated, she is less
likely to touch you. She is also less likely to touch you first if you
are very direct. Of course, if you don’t even have a chance, she won’t
touch you at all. Either way, unreliable as an IOI.

Remember, one of the two things necessary in pickup is the belief that
the girl wants you. It may be difficult to believe at first but keep
reminding yourself of this, and train yourself to see *everything* she
does as an IOI. Is she looking at you when you talk? It’s on. Is she
contributing to the conversation? It’s on. Is she standing in your
physical proximity? It’s ON!

Sticking Point #6.

Dropping the personality that initially attracted her as a part of a
"phase shift", mistakenly thinking it takes X amount of time to attract
a woman, or feeling the need to "transition into" X,Y or Z.

It sounds like three different points, but really they all stem from
the same type of beliefs and mindsets. They come from leftover society
programming like "It takes a long time for women to become attracted."
or "Men have to earn a woman’s attention and attraction."

If you do actually do well to convey a fun personality to a chick in
the first few moments of meeting her, such that she is attracted to
you, you should maintain that same fun personality while getting to
know her better and deepening your connection. Intersperse your c+f and
playfullness with your rapport. But at all costs, stay congruent and do
not become someone else entirely.

On the flip side, do not stay in a perpetual attraction stage where you
are running material for the upwards of 10 – 20 minutes. That is WAY
too long. If you use a couple of fun pieces to open a set, and they
respond well to that, they have already made a positive judgement of
you. Keep it light on the material and rely more on sharing positive
energy with the set, and particularly your target.

Also a lot of people believe that you need a ‘transition’ to do certain
things – especially kinesthetic related actions like touching, kissing,
and cavemanning. You do not need a transition for these types of
things. You just need to do them with the full certainty that she will
enjoy it. Decide what you are going to do, and do it like you mean it.

Natural Game.

If you’re going to make the transition to natural game, start out
simple. It takes some getting used to, and requires attention on a
couple of different levels. It may seem awkward at first, especially if
you are use to the traditional indirect game model discussed above. But
if you work with it and gain even just a baseline competence, you will:

-Improve your closing rate, avoiding ‘sexless frames’
-Reduce your flaking
-Focus more on the interaction and enjoying the process
-Allow your true attractive personality to bloom
-Develop an incredible belief system

If you would still prefer an indirect type of approach based on
routines and canned material, it would surely be beneficial to
implement these mindsets anyway, along with correcting all of the
previously mentioned sticking points. It can do nothing but improve
your results.

Of course there are some differences that some may consider to be drawbacks:

-Her initial impression of you becomes increasingly important and is
predominantly visual and auditory based. This doesn’t mean you have to
be good looking, but it does mean you need a tight "image" including
style, bodylanguage, tonality and facial expressions. She is going to
size you up based on your energy and vibe, and will interpret
everything you say through that filter.

-There is no more masking insecurities behind indirect techniques. You
will be forced to confront your limiting beliefs head on, and handle
them once and for all. I actually think this is an advantage, but it
may be scary for some people to confront their deepest fears and depend
on their core identity to attract women. Guys with self-hatred issues
and poor self image may shy from this type of thing, telling themselves
it would never work, despite the fact that it is the solution to all of
their problems.

-Your opening percentage will be lower. You will get blown out faster
from certain sets. You can persist on these, but it is likely that they
would have not led to anything anyway. In this way, it acts as an
efficiency screen and which saves you from wasting your time.

Naturalized Seduction Model:

1.  Assume Attraction, adopt mindset that you are going use your personality to make her feel great.
2. Open direct. This includes direct compliments on her beauty or
remarks about the environment, or even a simple "Hi." If you are still
hesitant to use direct openers, ask her for an opinion that you’re
actually curious about. Your opening bodylanguage MUST be congruent to
your intentions.
3. Go directly to a vibing / rapport type of interaction. Be playful
with her and get to know her. If you tell stories, make sure they’re
fun, and not meant to impress her. Lead the interaction via a
continuous flow of action. (explained below)
4.  Lead smoothly and confidently to escalation.  This could mean you instadate her, venuechange her or close her.
5.  Repeat steps 3 and 4, until you isolate and fuck her.

This is a very simple structure, but it’s effectiveness depends on the mindsets in the next section.

4. Designing the Frame for Endgame

Natural game is based more on mindsets than anything else. Adopt the
mindsets, and allow the techniques to flow. You will find yourself
inventing your own tips and tricks and posting them on here for others
to check out.

Mindsets are essential to any game, particularly one with minimal structure such as the Naturalized Seduction Model.

-Mindsets-

Approach:

The game starts before you walk up. A woman’s impression of you is
largely determined by what she sees before you open your mouth – that
combined with the impression you make on her in the first few seconds
upon opening. People have a tendency to generalize the type of person
you are as fast as possible, which makes everything in the beginning
very influential on the remainder of the interaction. I think that it
is often downplayed how important it is to have a very strong visual
image based on your style, dress and bodylanguage. You will hear girls
often saying ‘he was cute so I talked to him’ or ‘he was cute so I let
my girlfriend stay and talk to him’. Do NOT underestimate the
impression you are making visually. We talk all the time on here about
it being a limiting belief that you do not need to be handsome, but
that does NOT apply to your style, overall grooming and bodylanguage.
This stuff is vital.

One of the reasons why I avoid opinion openers is because of the subtle
frame of *needing something from someone*. Sometimes I think they are
about a half step up from a person in the mall asking you for a few
moments to fill out a survey — very unromantic and asexual. This is
just me however, and I do know a few guys who use them with great
success because of their high consistency of opening. It is a matter of
preference, I suppose but I like to start the romantic vibe from the
very instant I walk up. I don’t give up any power by needing someone’s
opinion – the girl’s #1 objective is to IMPRESS ME from the very start.

Teasing, C+F, Busting:

Some people don’t like to combine this type of thing with their direct
game. To me, this is one of the best parts about direct game. I love
teasing and busting on girls. The beauty is, if you are running a
direct game, she KNOWS you’re just playing with her.

The way I like to think about it is ‘floating’ your indirect tech (c+f,
MCR, busting, push/pull) above a very solid and confident direct vibe.
That is you are vibing direct with your bl, facial expressions, warm
tonality, but at the same time having fun with her. You are making her
feel good through humor because you enjoy her.

Affecting her Emotions:

It is a well known fact that we should engage girls on an emotional
level. Touch her emotions. Trigger her emotions, yet people are still
confused about how to actually do this. You don’t ‘talk about emotions’
with her. You cause her to experience different emotions through a
variety of ways. Off the top of my head I can think of:

-Displaying your emotions through facial expression and tonality when you tell stories
-Talking about your passions, let’s her have a taste of your potential emotions directed toward her
-Being unpredictable, her uncertainty will cause emotional response in her
-Creating situations where she experiences an emotion (ex. SOI‘ing her and then not calling her for a few days – she’s ecstatic, and then curious and scared)

Logistics:

There is no set structure to pick-up. We are artists, remember? You are
creating the experience for her so that it is unique. It’s fine to
follow a predictable structure at the lower levels, but it’s like a
kata in martial arts. When it comes down to real world situations,
while having a loose structure you must adapt and improvise in an
aesthetic way. Take pride in your work and create a wonderful
EXPERIENCE for the woman. Give her the fantasy. Allow her dreams to
come true. Be that man she’s been waiting for.

Closing / Venuechanging:

The state of mind you should have when interacting with a chick should
be one of ‘relaxed and relished certainty’. Don’t rush things. Don’t
‘watch’ for IOI’s. In other words, you shouldn’t be dependent on her,
or too reactive to her. Imagine being a hunter with a high powered
rifle, and you’re hunting a dear in some enclosed space. You know that
any moment you CAN kill the dear – but instead you choose to relax and
enjoy the experience because of that certainty. You continue to relish
in the experience, enjoy the chase, and do it when at the absolute
perfect moment. It also reminds me of having some kind of dessert or
maybe a delicious bottle of champagne that you could open at any moment
and enjoy, but you put it off, because you’re enjoying the anticipation
so much. Treat closing a woman exactly the same as these types of
moments. Enjoy your interaction with her being 100% certain that it
will lead where you want it to later on.

5.  The Continuous Flow of Action

One thing I am realizing over and over again:

*The time factor is completely irrelevant to pickup.*

Time is usually a huge limiting belief for most people. People generally feel that girls need some quantity of time in order to:

-become attracted
-become comfortable
-leave a venue with you
-provide contact information that won’t flake
-become turned on

This again, is leftover society programming. Let go of the need to make
pickup difficult or complicated. In some ways it is kinda complex, but
release the desire to make it so.

My flaking ratio is very good. Not 100% perfect, but pretty damn close.
The average time it takes for me to get a non-flaking phone number is
between 30 seconds and 5 minutes. No more – it’s just not necessary.
Let me explain why:

After a first meeting, she is going to walk away with some kind of
impression – a memory of the encounter. Now the way the mind works, is
that it distorts time around really strong impressions. We remember
each event as a series of mental pictures and sounds with varying
intensities. The intensity is determined by the emotions present at the
time, and how rare or scarce those emotions are. If you walk up to her
like no man ever has, and completely rock her world for a few moments,
thrilling her with your masculine vibe, she will never forget you!

Thinking back to the encounter, it’s very hard to determine time
objectively. She’s not thinking "Well, he walked up, and said a few
things to me, but only stayed and talked for 3 minutes. I don’t think I
should meet with him – that’s not enough time." What she is thinking is
"Wow, this guy came up to me, and he was amazing. It was so romantic
and seemed so right. He was cute, charming, and he made me feel so
good. I can’t wait to see him again!"

Only do what you need to create a strong impression on her – and that
impression is completely time-independent. It is more based on:

Visual Impression / Identity – BL, style, facial expressions
Auditory Impression – tonality, pacing and rhythm
Emotional Content – vibe, connection, expression of emotion
Continuous Flow of Action ->

The Continuous Flow of Action is a fancy way of explaining ‘smoothness’, and it achieves a couple different things:
-Let’s you take the lead and control the encounter
-Allows her logical mind to shut off
-Let’s her trust you and feel comfortable immediately
-Makes everything seem ‘right’ and natural

A continuous flow of action is best described by a LACK of the following things:
-weird pauses and indecision
-hesitation
-waiting
-looking for approval or other responses (IOI’s)
-overanalysis
-overthinking

While you should not do these things, it is even more important that
SHE does not do these things. In order to achieve a continuous flow of
action, you need a minimal structure, quick responses and a lot of
confidence. I will illustrate with a few examples.

Cold Approach (Assuming time is important)

1. Guy walks up, delivers opener goes into story.
2. Girl reacts positively.
3. Guy feels he needs more attraction, goes into another story, irrelevant to first one.
4. Girl reacts positively again.
5. Guy waits, thinks of what to do next.
6. Guy starts getting some rapport, asks questions.
7. Guy waits some more thinking he needs more time for a solid close.
8. Guy asks some more questions, unsure if she’s attracted enough, looking for IOI’s.
9. Girl is confused about his lack of confidence and doesn’t understand his true intentions so says she’s gotta go.
10. Guy tries last ditch effort and attempts to close.
11. Girl doesn’t give number, because she’s being congruent with step 9.

Cold Approach (Continuous Flow of Action)

1.  Guy walks up, delivers opener goes into story.
2.  Girl reacts positively.
3.  Without hesitation, guy immediately starts to connect, asking basic questions. (School, work, etc)
4.  Guy teases a bit about her answers.
5.  Guy realizes he doesn’t have much to say, so gets to the point.
6.  Guy says "Well I’m off to meet some friends, but let’s do coffee sometime."
7.  Because guy is clear and confident, girl agrees, solid close.

Back to your place (Assuming time is important)

1.  Guy walks girl into his place.
2.  Girl sits down on couch, guy does also.
3.  Guy thinks about what routine he needs to spike BT.
4.  Guy starts spouting non-sequitur routine to give her time to be turned on.
5.  Girl confused, closes up a bit.
6.  Guy not seeing IOI’s, waits, thinks of another routine, starts to deliver it.
7.  Girl gets up and says she has to go.

Back to your place (Continuous Flow of Action)

1.  Guy walks girl to his place.
2.  Guy tells girl to take her shoes off.
3.  Guy sits her in front of the tv, and turns it on.
4.  Guy goes to fridge and prepares 2 glasses of red wine.
5.  Guy comes back and toasts to good times.
6.  Guy tells short joke, girl laughs.
7.  Guy goes for kiss.

The idea is that you provide her with instructions at every point and
make it clear how she should respond. Intentions are always clear,
actions are always confident and calculated. The man knows the entire
plan from point A to point B, and always assumes she’s ready to go. No
hesitation, no indecisiveness. This is truly what attracts women – much
much more than *any* canned material. Her emotions are engaged 150% on
overdrive. You are putting her IN THE ROMANCE NOVEL.

Lots of good information here.  Read it twice to make sure you get it all.