David Shade’s Manual, Vol. 1
June 9, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Interviewing for High Self-Esteem Women
By David Shade
www.davidshade.com
I specifically interview for high self-esteem women. The most comprehensive discussion on self-esteem I have seen is by Nathaniel Branden at nathanielbranden.net. He articulated it well when he wrote:
"Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; and to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite."
He defined self-esteem as "being competent to cope with the challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment, and happiness are right and natural for us. It is a consciousness to trust our self. It strives for rationality, coherence, clarity, and truth."
He defined six practices of a healthy self-esteem:
1) Living consciously: Respect for facts, open to new knowledge and feedback, and seeking to understand the world and ourselves.
2) Self-acceptance: Realism applied to self. The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning.
3) Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for life and well being and for the attainment of our goals.
4) Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
5) Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them.
6) Integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we profess to admire.
"What all these have in common is respect for reality."
What we call high self-esteem and low self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden calls self-esteem and pseudo self-esteem. He defined pseudo self-esteem as: "trying to compensate for deficiencies; a pretense at a self-confidence and self-respect; the effort to protect self-esteem with denial and evasion, which only results in a further deterioration of self-esteem."
Pseudo self-esteem can be easily identified by: "the defensiveness with which insecure people may respond when their errors are pointed out, or the extraordinary feats of avoidance and self-deception people can exhibit with regard to gross acts of non-consciousness and irresponsibility, or the foolish and pathetic ways people sometimes try to prop up their egos by the wealth or prestige of their spouse, the make of their automobile, or the fame of their dress designer, or by the exclusiveness of their golf club."
Traits of pseudo self-esteem include: delusional, ignorance, denial, evasion, betrayal of consciousness or conviction, lack of integrity, grandiosity, fantasies of superiority, conceited (exaggerated opinion of oneself,) boasting, arrogance, and the victim mentality of blaming others. What all these have in common is the lack of respect for reality. But the biggest indicator is the angry denial of low self-esteem or the denial that self-esteem is significant or desirable.
I have found the following to be true of HSE women and LSE women:
LSE women are insecure and seek validation from men.
HSE women are secure in themselves and have nothing to prove.
LSE women have a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled.
HSE women are self fulfilled.
LSE women will manipulate a man to make him meet her needs.
HSE women know exactly what they want in a man, and when they find one enjoy who he is.
LSE women are quick to obtain their man’s tokens of devotion, such as expensive gifts or immediately requiring a monogamous relationship.
HSE women are suspicious of expensive gifts early on, and do not decide that they want a relationship with the man until she gets to know him well.
LSE women would steal a man if it would give her affirmation.
HSE women are not at all interested in another woman’s man.
LSE women trade sex for attention and for verification that they are attractive and worthy.
For HSE women, sex is about sharing and celebrating sexuality.
LSE women respond to being treated poorly in an attempt to prove their worthiness.
HSE women expect to be treated well and respond only to that.
For a LSE woman, it’s not about the man, it’s about her own needs.
For a HSE woman, it’s about what her and her man enjoy together.
LSE women blame their problems on other people. They have the victim mentality.
HSE women assume personal responsibility for their own lot in life.
LSE women are motivated by moving away from bad.
HSE women are motivated by moving towards good.
LSE women must control others by manipulation.
HSE women see that as unhealthy.
LSE women are drama queens.
HSE women seek harmony.
LSE women have a warped sense of deservedness.
HSE women have a healthy sense of deservedness.
Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman’s biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men.
A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.
Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.
This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.
Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy’s girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy’s girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy’s girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two
good parents in a good relationship.
A Daddy’s Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be routing for you.
The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she
associates with. If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she’s got one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren’t a psychiatrist or a therapist, there’s not much you can do about it. And even then, it’s usually futile.
So, how do you specifically interview for high self-esteem? Don’t just ask her if she has high self-esteem. The low self-esteem women will insist that they do, and the high self-esteem women sometimes are modest about it. Instead, covertly look for the traits of high self-esteem. The first sign is if she has a hearty firm handshake and good eye contact. The most trustworthy sign of self-esteem is if she can take a compliment
well. But don’t ask her if she can take a compliment well, because all women will say they do. Instead, somewhere in the conversation, I will pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the
compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self-esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self-esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, which is what I want.
I will also get conversation to where we talk about past relationships. This gives me a very good idea about her sense of deservedness. I will listen for signs of how she was treated by her men. That describes how
she will be most comfortable. If she complains about how her men mistreated her, it is a very bad sign. But if all her men were very interested in her pleasure, then that is a very good sign. They are the women who will most appreciate, and best respond to me.
Then I will test for ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Eventually in the conversation, I will say "You know, I bet that when you were a little girl, about 7, you had a very close relationship with your father." If she didn’t, it will tend
to break rapport, as it should. But if she did, then it always servers to increase rapport in a massive way. Usually she will ask why I say that, and I will go into my ‘Daddy’s girl’ theory. The Daddy’s Girls always love it. But the ones who were not Daddy’s Girls will go into a long illogical discourse attempting to explain why they nonetheless have a high self esteem.
There is a very simple formula for dealing with Daddy’s Girls: Do all the things her daddy did to her, plus all those things her daddy dreaded a man like you would do to her.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
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Water and life
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Lightning is a dramatic display of electrical power, but it is also sporadic and unpredictable. Even on a volatile Earth billions of years ago, lightning may have been too infrequent to produce amino acids in quantities sufficient for life — a fact that has cast doubt on such theories in the past, Zare said.
Water spray, however, would have been more common than lightning. A more likely scenario is that mist-generated microlightning constantly zapped amino acids into existence from pools and puddles, where the molecules could accumulate and form more complex molecules, eventually leading to the evolution of life.
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Unijoin is another simple yet trustworthy Bitcoin Tumbler service. And one of the primary differences it has compared to the other platforms on this list is that it can accommodate really “large volume transactions”. There is no maximum transaction limit as such, considering how their reserve is really huge and you’ll need to be a millionaire before you can run them out of funds. If any limit is breached, you are notified before you make the payment. The minimum transaction 0.001BTC, any amount lower than this is is considered a donation, like in the case of PriveCoin, and isn’t sent back to the customer. The minimum fee is 0.5%, with an additional 0.0005BTC for every deposited transaction. You can set a custom fee for added anonymity and they also provide a letter or guarantee like all the mentionable Bitcoin Tumblers out there. Yomix : Fast payouts Mixero : Excellent customer support Bitcoin Laundry : Uses stealth pools to anonymize transactions Coinmize : Zero-log policy Bitcoin Mixer : It offers flexible transaction fees and a low minimum transaction limit 1. Yomix – Fast payouts Yomix is a simple service that will increase your privacy while using Ethereum and making Ether transactions. Every single person have its right for a personal privacy even when transacting, trading or donating Ether. Due to ethereum blockchain features you are not completely anonymous while using ETH and here comes Ethereum Mixing Service to help you cut all ties between your old and fresh mixed ETH coins. Using Yomix mixer makes almost impossible to trace your new Ethereum Address..Yomix is a Bitcoin mixing service that provides privacy by using the ‘Bitcoin Mixer 2.0’ algorithm to shuffle bitcoins. Unlike other similar tumbling services that mix your coins with the coins of other users, this platform mixes your crypto with the crypto bought by them directly from the cryptocurrency stock exchanges. Yomix verifies the newly purchased coins with a scoring system with the help of innovative algorithms and outfoxes such technologies as blockchain volume analysis, cluster analysis, taint analysis, etc. It means that you will receive your BTC back split into random parts, and even at the different addresses if needed. Consequently, your privacy is protected as there is no connection to you. And it takes up to 6 hours to complete your request. Another privacy feature of this mixer service is that it does not require registration and it does not store logs. All the transactions are digitally signed with letters of guarantee that you can check on the website at any moment. They also provide 24/7 technical support. MixTum.io will charge you a 5% Fee from your transaction as well as a network fee of 0.00015 BTC. The platform provides two versions – for Clearnet and Tor browsers.Yomix runs on the Darknet and is one of the most popular Bitcoin toggle switches. This dark service uses new technology, it doesn’t just clean up your coins, you get brand new coins that have never been on the dark web. The cleaning process can take no more than 4 hours. To carry out cleaning on Helix in the basic version of Grams, you need to register, in the versions of Helix Light and Helix Market this is not necessary. If you still decide to use the Grams version, you will have to pay an entrance fee of 0.01 BTC. Helix has an additional feature (Auto-Helix) that allows you to specify which addresses your coins will be mixed with when they are credited to your account. Helix also enforces a “no log” policy, all logs are deleted automatically after 7 days or by the user immediately after completion of the output. Helix has a third party server not connected to Grams. A number of Bitcoin client programs that he uses are located on a completely separate server from Helix and Grams. Even if Grams is attacked or compromised, Helix will not be affected.Yomix has a deposit requirement of 0.001 BTC and supports a maximum of 2 different addresses. Registration is not compulsory but there is a service charge of 4 – 5% on the amount being transferred. For those with a need for additional privacy, Yomix also accepts Bitcoins with a no log policy. Pros: Zero-logs of your transactions Provides user-controlled time delays 2. Mixero – Excellent customer support This is by far the most unique Mixero I’ve ever encountered till date; that’s so pertaining to its “Time-travel” feature! (Whoa!) Basically instead of operating on the traditional receive unclean coins > send clean coins process, it instead uses a create wallet > fund it with chips beforehand > receive unclean coins > grant access to the pre-funded wallet process! This lets users spend the clean coins even before the unclean coins were sent to the mixer (because the wallet was pre-funded) and that’s the reason I termed it the time-travel mixer. Also it funds the wallets with “chips” which are not the same thing as Bitcoins, they’re basically the private keys which can be exported to your Bitcoin wallets to fund your wallets with the amount the chips were worth. It also lets users bet their Chips which has a chance of doubling the worth of their chips, other advanced features include merging which lets users combine two big chips into one single chip, or splitting which divides one big chip into two smaller chips. Its fee structure too is an unique- “Pay what you like” feature, which not only adds to user anonymity by randomizing the fee but also makes the service more affordable and customizable. Because users completely control when or how much funds they wish to withdraw, it translates into 100% user control on time-delays and distribution control. No logs are kept after a 7-day retention period; or there also is an option to manually scrub all logs whenever you wish prior to this 7-day period. The minimum deposit limit on the platform is 0.0001BTC.Mixero is a simple service that will increase your privacy while using and transacting Litecoin. Every single person have its right for a personal privacy even when transacting, trading or donating Litecoin. Due to litecoin blockchain features you are not completely anonymous while using LTC and here comes Litecoin Mixing Service to help you cut all ties between your old and fresh mixed LTC coins. Using LTC mixer makes almost impossible third-parties to trace your new Litecoin Address and find out how wealthy you are.Mixero makes the process of clearing bitcoins very easy and convenient for the client. This resource requires one confirmation of the transaction, after which new clean coins are sent to the specified wallet. Users can also control latency for processing their transactions. This is an offshore service, and its sites are also located offshore. This provides users with additional peace of mind and confidence that their data is strictly confidential. In addition, once the transaction is confirmed, users are sent a unique “delete logs” link, giving users the ability to manually delete their traces of transactions. Mixero charges a modest 0.5% commission. This makes BTC Blender ideal for users clearing large amounts of bitcoin.Mixero is an extremely basic mixer. It allows only 1 output address to be specified. The UI too is extremely simple and doesn’t feature any sliders or calculators. Users simply enter their output address and receive the funds as simple as that. The minimum mix amount is 0.001BTC while the maximum is 100BTC. Amounts out of these limits will not be mixed. Users have no control on the fee and it’s randomized between 0.5% and 1%. An additional 0.0005 BTC miner fee also exists. The time-delay too (if any) isn’t user controlled and the mixer sends out funds at its own pace. Its working infrastructure seems to differ from other mixers out there. While most other mixers have a “reserve”, this platform seems to use miners. The unclean coins are sent to “miners”, and the clean coins too are claimed to be sent out from “miners”. It however doesn’t keep any logs and all information is deleted once a transaction is complete. Pros: Excellent customer support It offers flexible transaction fees and a low minimum transaction limit 3. Bitcoin Laundry – Uses stealth pools to anonymize transactions The principle of operation of the resource is that Bitcoin Laundry sends coins of all users to a single account, mixes them, and then distributes coins to users. You get the same amount (minus commission) of already cleared bitcoins, including several from different parts of the blockchain. Which makes it almost impossible to analyze it. The mixer also sends you a letter of guarantee. This letter of guarantee is a confirmation of the obligations of BitMix biz and that the service has generated an address for the user to send. This email is always signed from the main bitcoin account Bitcoin Laundry (publicly available at BitMix biz). The service also uses a unique code of 12 characters, after that, this user will never receive exactly his own coins back. Save this code it will be needed for the affiliate program. BitMix biz includes an affiliate program and pays users when they bring other users to the platform. You will receive a fee for every transaction you refer to. BitMix biz’s robust privacy policy is backed by several points: No registration and identity verification required. Transaction history is deleted after 72 hours. The randomization function makes the analysis of the protocol more difficult. Tor browser support.Bitcoin Laundry runs on the Darknet and is one of the most popular Bitcoin toggle switches. This dark service uses new technology, it doesn’t just clean up your coins, you get brand new coins that have never been on the dark web. The cleaning process can take no more than 4 hours. To carry out cleaning on Helix in the basic version of Grams, you need to register, in the versions of Helix Light and Helix Market this is not necessary. If you still decide to use the Grams version, you will have to pay an entrance fee of 0.01 BTC. Helix has an additional feature (Auto-Helix) that allows you to specify which addresses your coins will be mixed with when they are credited to your account. Helix also enforces a “no log” policy, all logs are deleted automatically after 7 days or by the user immediately after completion of the output. Helix has a third party server not connected to Grams. A number of Bitcoin client programs that he uses are located on a completely separate server from Helix and Grams. Even if Grams is attacked or compromised, Helix will not be affected.Bitcoin Laundry is a simple service that will increase your privacy while using and transacting Litecoin. Every single person have its right for a personal privacy even when transacting, trading or donating Litecoin. Due to litecoin blockchain features you are not completely anonymous while using LTC and here comes Litecoin Mixing Service to help you cut all ties between your old and fresh mixed LTC coins. Using LTC mixer makes almost impossible third-parties to trace your new Litecoin Address and find out how wealthy you are.One absolutely unique crypto mixing service is Bitcoin Laundry because it is based on the totally different principle comparing to other services. A user does not just deposit coins to mix, but creates a wallet and funds it with chips from 0.01 BTC to 8.192 BTC which a user can break down according to their wishes. After chips are included in the wallet, a wallet holder can deposit coins to process. As the chips are sent to the mixing service beforehand, next transactions are nowhere to be found and there is no opportunity to connect them with the wallet owner. There is no usual fee for transactions on this mixing service: it uses “Pay what you like” feature. It means that the fee is randomized making transactions even more incognito and the service itself more affordable. Retention period is 7 days and every user has a chance to manually clear all logs prior to this period. Pros: Offers a low minimum deposit of 0.002 BTC It offers flexible transaction fees and a low minimum transaction limit 4. Coinmize – Zero-log policy Supporting multiple types of cryptocurrency, Coinmize is one of the most flexible Bitcoin tumblers available today. Besides requiring a minimum deposit, service fees are charged, and users are required to register to use this site. Referral programs are also on offer along with support for multiple recipient addresses (max 10).What marks Coinmize out from the crowd is the fact that this crypto mixer is able to process transactions for Bitcoin and Litecoin. There is a minimum deposit requirement for both Bitcoin and Litecoin. The site is able to support a maximum of 5 multiple addresses with confirmation required for all addresses. No site registration is required and there is a referral program in place. Additionally, Coinmize can provide clients with a letter of guarantee.Coinmize offers a unique service with a high degree of confidentiality, which will ensure the anonymity of your payments, by using the mixing of multiple Bitcoin addresses. Our system works quickly, reliably and with a small commission – only after the transfer and receipt of funds to the final address. Of course, all of the data about your transaction will be irretrievably deleted.Coinmize supports Bitcoin and Litecoin cryptocurrencies bearing no logs policy. It requires a minimum deposit of 0.005 BTC, 0.015 LTC and the transaction fee is from 0.4% to 4% + mining fee 0.0003 for BTC, from 2% to 20% + mining fee 0.0003 for LTC. It supports multiple addresses of up to 5 and requires confirmation from 1 till 6. No registration is required and it does offer a referral program as well as a letter of guarantee. Pros: Customizable mixing settings for better anonymityHas impressive time delays 5. Bitcoin Mixer – It offers flexible transaction fees and a low minimum transaction limitLet’s take a look at another one of the leading bitcoin mixers which is incredibly easy to operate. Bitcoin Mixer has a straightforward interface and it is worth mentioning that the service fee is the lowest possible, it is 0.0% with 0.0002 BTC per extra address. Retention period is 7 days when it is easy for a user to manually remove all the logs which are saved for this period because of any future transaction-related problems. There is a time-delay feature, however, it is not possible to be controlled by a user but the mixing platform only.Bitcoin Mixer is a Bitcoin mixing service that provides privacy by using the ‘Bitcoin Mixer 2.0’ algorithm to shuffle bitcoins. Unlike other similar tumbling services that mix your coins with the coins of other users, this platform mixes your crypto with the crypto bought by them directly from the cryptocurrency stock exchanges. Bitcoin Mixer verifies the newly purchased coins with a scoring system with the help of innovative algorithms and outfoxes such technologies as blockchain volume analysis, cluster analysis, taint analysis, etc. It means that you will receive your BTC back split into random parts, and even at the different addresses if needed. Consequently, your privacy is protected as there is no connection to you. And it takes up to 6 hours to complete your request. Another privacy feature of this mixer service is that it does not require registration and it does not store logs. All the transactions are digitally signed with letters of guarantee that you can check on the website at any moment. They also provide 24/7 technical support. MixTum.io will charge you a 5% Fee from your transaction as well as a network fee of 0.00015 BTC. The platform provides two versions – for Clearnet and Tor browsers.Being one of the earliest crypto coin tumblers, Bitcoin Mixer continues to be a easy-to-use and functional crypto coin mixer. There is a possibility to have two accounts, with and without registration. The difference is that the one without registration is less controllable by a user.The mixing process can be performed and the transaction fee is charged randomly from 1% to 3% which makes the transaction more anonymous. Also, if a user deposits more than 10 BTC in a week, the mixing service reduces the fee by half. With a time-delay feature the transaction can be delayed up to 24 hours. A Bitcoin holder should worry security leak as there is a 2-factor authentication when a sender becomes a holder of a PGP key with password. However, this mixing platform does not have a Letter of Guarantee which makes it challenging to address this tumbler in case of scams.Bitcoin Mixer has a Bitcoin reserve of its own, consider it a chain of Bitcoins, when you send your BTC to Blender.io it sends your coins to the end of the chain and sends you fresh, new, unlinked coins from the beginning of the chain. Hence there’s no link between the coins going in, and the coins coming out. Hence the public ledger would only be able to track the coins going from your wallet to the address of Blender.io but no further. Blender.io doesn’t require you to signup, register, or provide any kind of detail except the “receiving address”! That’s the only thing it needs, there can’t be a better form of anonymity if you ask me. Since you provide no personal details, there’s no way your identity can be compromised. Nor can it be linked back to you, since Bitcoin Mixer doesn’t know who you are. Blender.io is one of the most accommodating tumblers in this sense as well, most other tumblers offer 3-4 sets of delays, Blender.io offers as many as 24, yes one for each hour. It also lets you add as many as 8 new addresses for each transaction (most other tumblers allow no more than 5 addresses). Pros: Proven track recordUser-controlled time delays
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