Waxing Philosophical, 26 Style

The uncomparable Twentysix has a great post up about depression and how you need to support yourself if you hope to stay in state.

Twentysix writes:
I’ve been thinking a lot about Thought lately.

What is Thought? Thought is all that invisible direction that goes through our brains.

Thought is what makes us approach.
Thought is what makes us fear the approach.

I was thinking, a lot of us have ‘positive thoughts’ and with those thoughts we gear ourselves to make the approach.

But there’s a lot more to those positive thoughts.
Stick with me for a second.

You cultivate and initiate your own positive thoughts.
With those thoughts you approach.
Now, for some despite your ‘positive thoughts’ you begin to go fear again.
You may get frustrated because you thought you were doing great thinking positive thoughts, but now you’re having this fear again (whether the fear be old or new).

Take a look at my last sentence. What was that? That last sentence in itself was a negative thought. So, therefore, you get what you focus on and you turn what was once positive in to a negative.

Thoughts are layered. There’s not just one thought happening at a time. There are loads of thoughts happening at a rapid pace.

You have thoughts about your thoughts.
And to go further, you have thoughts about your thoughts about your thoughts and on and on. A lot of your later thoughts happen at a subconscious level. You don’t even consciously recognize that you’re having them. However, if you tune in to yourself you can start to catch them.

IMO, this is why many people think ‘damn, I was doing great, but now I’m doing badly. I don’t understand’.

What’s happened probably is that the person started having thoughts about their thoughts, but those thoughts were destructive thoughts. Most likely these thoughts were doubting thoughts that happen at a subconscious level.

What we need to do it become conscious of these ‘thoughts of thoughts’ and realize that we can change them. You choose your thoughts.

Everyone chooses every thought they have. It’s liberating if you think about it.
You think of going to see the movie ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ and you go.
This is a thought manifested – your thought.

My point is you choose your thoughts. You choose the direction. You choose to change the focus. You choose to analyze a thought and beat yourself up. You are constantly making choices.
If someone does something that makes you happy, they didn’t make you happy, you made you happy through a choice that is yours.

What someone does to make you happy could have the opposite effect on a different person.
Therefore, one person is saying something and two people interpret it differently.
Each is responding to the stimulus (the person saying something) in the way that they choose to.

Your backup thoughts need to be supporting thoughts of your initial thought.
Like I mentioned above, many of us have the initial thought already done. We’re happy! We go to do what we want to do, but for some reason we’re held back. Why? Because there’s more than one thought happening here. Loads of thoughts are being fired through your mind all day.

You are having thoughts about your thoughts.

Have those thoughts support your original strong thoughts that you want to follow through on.
The more you consciously do this the more your mind will subconsciously learn your new process of thinking.

If you find yourself a person who is Gung-Ho ready to go, but when the time comes you don’t do it then you have a subconscious program that shoots down your positive constructive developing thoughts with doubting thoughts.

Get excited about this! Because there are areas in your life where you don’t do this. There are areas in your life where you are very very confident. Find those, use those as role models and construct the other areas of your life to go by these thinking patterns.

Anything you think can be changed

Look for those thoughts that are behind the thoughts.

If you find yourself getting all geared up and ready to do something and not doing it, then take a look, consciously, at why that happened.

The more you do this the more you’ll realize that you’re following thoughts are not supporting your original great thought.

Get those second, third and other thoughts to support yourself. Re-program your mind through repetition.

Below is what many people do:

Thought #1: Wow, I’m gonna hit up that set over there. I have all the skills for this! I feel great!
Thought #2: But what if they don’t like me?
Thought #3: Do I even have enough things to say?
Thought #4: Her body language isn’t that good right now.
etc. etc.

Below is what successful people do

Thought #1: Wow, I’m gonna hit up that set over there. I have all the skills for this! I feel great!
Thought #2: I feel unstoppable!
Thought #3: I love this!
Thought #4: (Memory links to great references of talking with girls)
etc. etc.

All thoughts are a choice. You have a choice every single second of your life.

You can read the whole thread here.

You know, the power of thinking positively is a good thing. I think one of the biggest things I got from the DYD Masters seminar was “Those people who are hopelessly optimistic are the ones who succeed the most, because they don’t let the obstacles of reality keep them from achieving their goals.” Some of the guys who are the best with women are the ones who ignore anything that could be a drawback (like looks, weight, etc) and barrel forward with a girl.

Me and some friends have a joke, that when something bad happens, we just ignore it and say “That’s not in MY reality.” Meaning that if we don’t aknowledge it, it didn’t happen. For instance, the other night, I was out with a girl, and I had a HUGE fuckin’ zit on my forhead. I fuckin’ hurt like hell and felt like it was so big that everyone would notice it. But the thing is, I barreled through, didn’t aknowledge the zit, and went on having fun with my life, and the girl didn’t even notice! In fact, I’ve been in this situation before, and it’s always depressed me, but most of the time, what’s a big deal to you isn’t such a big thing to women.

For instance, one thing some guys will do is call attention to a shortcoming or an insecurity in an effort to disarm it, like say “Oh god, I’ve been breaking out lately because of stress. Just ignore the enormous zit on my forehead.” The thing is, this is BAD. Not only do you make excuses for something you really shouldn’t be caring about, but you are calling attention to something that the people you’re with might not have noticed (until you pointed it out yourself, that is).

I used to do this all the time with my weight. I’d say to girls “Oh, I’m feeling fat today.” Or some crap like that. But most of the time, it was just me making it a bigger issue than it was and getting depressed because I brought it to the forefront of my thoughts (and, by default, the girl’s thoughts).

Some people say that affirmations are the best way to subvert the bad thoughts you may obsess over. But Affirmations never worked for me. If they work for you, great, do them. But I personally always felt like I was trying to fool myself when I did them. Instead, I think IGNORING the thing you need affirming in a way disarms it’s affectiveness. Sure, you can be conscious of the fact that you’re fat, bald, ugly, wierd, smelly, whatever. But if you ignore it, you make it a non-issue, at least to yourself, and that enables you to act more confidently and more congruently in life.