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One Fat Bastard

May 12, 2004 by  
Filed under Health & Hygiene

I was going through some old pictures of mine today, and I realized that i have gained some fuckin’ weight!  Seriously, I am FAT!  (And that’s sans "P-H" fellas).

Seriously.  I’m so fat I’m thinking of giving up walking all together and just slithering around like Jabba the Hut.  It would be more congruent with my outward appearance, I’ll tell you that much.  Nothing’s more depressing than seeing yourself as being overweight (you skinny guys probably don’t understand this, since your conception of "being fat" is relatively skewed compared to a truely fat man).  When your clothes don’t fit right, and you notice your buying more and more groceries, the ol’ self-esteem tends to hit the floor.  In fact, I’d go so far as to say it misses the floor all together and decends into the bottomless pit that is dispair.

The funny thing is, I’m not too depressed about it or anything.  I mean, I’ve been fat before.  I’m talking FAT!  As in 300 lbs. of Orca Fat.  And back when I didn’t know what to do with women, that was a rough ball to juggle.  I used to think that only thin guys got the chicks, because it just wasn’t in my reality that fat people were considered attractive.

But being the fat bastard I am, and having the ability to go out and STILL get women into me (at least to a certain point.  I’m still learning, after all =) is quite a different experience from the good (or were they bad?) old days of being fat AND miserable instead of just fat.

I think that men, due to society and whatnot, tend to put too much importance on their appearances.  I mean, sure, it’s important to look good.  But so many guys look at being fat as something that REPELS people, when the reality is that for the most part, women don’t seem to mind it.

One of my best friends of all time is a 300 pound guy who’s not much better looking that I am (in fact, I’d rate myself higher on the looks scale, but who am I to judge?) and this guy gets TONS of sex from incredibly hot women.  Why?  He’s not famous.  He’s not rich.  But the dude is fucking FUNNY as hell!  He can make anyone laugh.  And when girls laugh, and they realize they’re having a good time, they’re going to be into you.  My friend’s real strength comes from being able to amp up the sexual tension and actually make a move on the girl (something which most guys can’t do).

So in short, I think that if you have a great personality, and aren’t afraid to get sexual with a woman, you’re going to have a degree of success that is fairly consistent, no matter what you look like.  The thing is, a lot of guys I meet in this community are seriously lacking in the "personality" department.

So how do you develop a great personality?  Well, that’s for another blog entry.  But most of it is being someone who has something to talk about that is interesting.  I think Swinggcat’s concept of "Open Loops" and "Tension Loops" is gold for this.

Anyway, I’m rambling.  To sum things up:  I’m fat.  Gotta get motivated to lose the weight, because when I do, I feel so much better physically.  Anyone got any tips for us porkers out there who wanna carve a little bacon off?

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