Being Good Looking

With the recent hub-bub about the pictures on the site and some people saying that these guys are relying on their looks to get chicks, I found it approptiate that Tyler posted a huge thread on being good looking and how it relates to Picking Up women vs. your skillset.

Tyler Durden writes:
I was thinking about this earlier today. Guys on here will say that looks don’t matter and even though most guys on this chatboard spout rhetoric to this effect I doubt that they believe it fully. Like they go along with it, but in the back of their minds they probably have some doubts.

One thing that I realized now having stepped over into the Secret Society as they say, is that looks really don’t matter extensively. As you become more socially aware, you look at someone’s social calibration to determine their value to you. Because you’re so aware of other people’s social values by being attuned to their subcommunications, you almost don’t have time to think about their looks or get caught up on them, unless they are extremely bad. Girls are the same way. You open the set, and their brains are immediately processing your subcommunications of social value. I can feel this myself, as I’ll pickup a serious SOLID TEN and not realize it until my friends tell me. I’ll pick her up, and literally qualify myself to my friends “She’s fairly hot right guys?” thinking that she’s not that hot. They’ll say “Dude, that was a legit true blue TEN.” I’ll meet up with her for a day2, and I’m like JESUS where did this girl come from? I literally was so taken in by the fact that my social value is so much higher than her’s, that I didn’t notice her looks. I literally just overlooked it. So long as you keep that going in the right direction by subcommunicating high social status, the girls stay there and they give you IOIs. This is consistent. If you escalate and pull properly, you get laid. I mean, this is very simple. The only thing I’ve noticed with looks is that you get more “fool’s mates”. Like PlayboyLA is like an 8.5 in looks if you see him in real life, and can fool’s mate an 8 in his sleep. I’m around a 7, and can fool’s mate a 7 no problem at all if I want. Fool’s mates for me is like when I just slam them with blather that gets them giggly, don’t even form any connection at all or even act normal, and just keep them giggly all the way to my house and phase shift. That for me is like a fool’s mate. It’s a set where if I don’t get laid that night, I will get a flake. Of course I also fool’s mate nines and dimes, but that’s less often. But assuming that I’m running the set normally, looks are not a relevant factor.

Now as for my personal looks, I had this thought. When I look at girls, I like different kinds of looks. Like I’ll have a girlfriend that is tall, blonde, skinny, and has huge breasts. Basically perfect. But then I’ll see a tiny little Asian girl dressed all fetishy, and I’ll want her even though my girlfriend is so much hotter. Then I’ll see a girl who is very curvy and has a sexy attitude, and I’ll want her too even though she doesn’t look good at all next to my girlfriend. Like so long as she doesn’t have protrusive fat, and she’s sexy as hell in her attitude and movements and tonality, and she’s socially savvy and fun, I forget in that moment the side by side comparison to my girlfriend and I’ll want her too. That’s perhaps because I can tell that other guys would want her, so its somewhat a source of validation. I’ll see girls a bit older, and find them sexy for some reason. I’ll see really immature girls, and find their innocence so adorable that I’ll want them too. Really I’ll want any girl who has some kind of recognizable appeal.

If I were to put these girls side by side with a tall perfect 10, they wouldn’t stack up really. It’s like have you guys ever noticed that runway model types (like Giselle) don’t look nearly as good naked as the Playboy models do? Yet the runway models seem hotter in some ways. It’s purely FRAMES.

I think that’s what I have. I’m not classically goodlooking, but I have an obvious appeal to girls. I get gawked at every night and hit on all the time. Guys will post on workshop testimonials “Good news! TD is bad looking! Or at least not good!” and that kind of thing. I read this and it fucked up my self confidence at first because I didn’t even think that way since I was getting results. I know that guys were trying to help me business wise by saying that the fact that I was badlooking proved that my game was good, but it messed up my self image for a good 2-3 months back when I first read these sorts of posts (like last year). And I remember being AFC and posting my pics on hotornot.com to find out if that was what was wrong with me, and I didn’t score well at all (my opinion: stay away from that site). But that was BS, because the people seeing the pics aren’t seeing me in real life. Someone’s appeal in real life is totally different than on a photo.

I think of myself as goodlooking. I have a different kind of look, but I’m definetely VERY goodlooking. I’m the male equivalent of the short petite girl who dresses hot and walks around like she’s the shit. She doesn’t stack up to the tall big breasted Playboy model at first glance, but just as many guys want to hook up with her because she has her own exotic appeal that stands out. I come across both style wise and personality wise so different than any other guy that a girl has met, that she doesn’t even compare me to other guys because its apples and oranges. And more importantly, because she doesn’t know what to think, I have more chance of hooking up with her out of intrigue than a goodlooking guy would, whose patterns she knows and understands. That’s why when I roll into sets that are being gamed by goodlooking naturals, I pretty much annihilate them within seconds. They can’t stack up because while they’re good, they are just different variations of what the girls have already had at some point. Sometimes I’ll go to the beach and I won’t have my style to help me stand out. I’ll see these muscular tall bronzed dudes walking around. And here I am a 5’9 out of shape pasty white little kid, and I REALLY REALLY feel the difference. I see the hot tanned girls in bikinis, and it looks NATURAL that they’d go with the big fit muscle dudes. Like its so blatantly obvious who they belong with. But these guys just don’t have the game. Me and PlayboyLA were on Bondai Beach in Sydney, and the fact that were were skinny gawky white boys just made us seem COOLER to the girls. Like we just looked like rich Americans or something. When you see a skinny rockstar with his shirt off, do you think “That guy is bad looking?” Or Tony Soprano, for guys who watch that show? Nope. It just REINFORCES that they are the shit. Me and PlayboyLA would blow out these big dudes who probably couldn’t believe it, but their social calibration system just isn’t there. We just had more value than them.

I think that any guy can CULTIVATE that kind of appeal. The problem is that guys’ personalities are so dry and their clothing screams “Volvo driving insurance salesman”. But if they’d dress in a way that was super cool and worked on incorporating more fun and sexuality into their personality, they’d be viewed as these totally different exotic guys.

Like to my mind, the fact that I’m not classically goodlooking actually *highlights* to the girls that I’m attractive. Because I roll in totally different than any guy that they’ve met, and I have a style that is cooler than theirs and an attitude that is more sexual and more interesting. So they want my validation. They want my approval that they’re cool too.

I really feel like almost any guy could get really strong success. It’s just a matter of cultivating a super cool style, and an attitude that conveys something different and a bit exotic. If you’re not goodlooking, dress and act to stand out. Read Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. Do NOT get caught up in the principles of it, as it is very non field applied. But just the IDEAS of contrasting personas and what is seductive are great to get the mental gears processing this stuff.

Lots of responses to this thread, fellas. Be sure to check out the “healthy banter” by clicking here.