Cutting through the bullshit

Lifeforce had a really excellent post over on the Don Juan message boards about a paradime shift he had in his way of thinking, that I feel might be something that others who study this stuff may eventually go through at some point in their development.  Its a bit of a touchy-feely post, but I think it hits a few fundamental points that should be addressed.

Lifeforce writes:
I have read 48 laws of power, psycho cybernetics, the art of seduction, the DJ bible, went through almost the entire fastseduction, read alot of psychology, influence books, seminars, Secrets of SS, read advanced macking, david d’angelo, read a lot from this site, how to get any women you desire into bed, etc… etc… etc…

Have I had any use of this? Mostly not, mostly it was just wasted knowledge that stung a dagger into the soul. Some things are just not meant to be understood but lived. Love is one of those things.

Before I was a guy fixated by tips and fancy techniques to use. I had some success with these techniques, but in the end I realized that I was not using the techniques do anything good. I met women, yes, I had success, yes, but every time I interacted with a woman I was on defcon 1, full alert and my army stuffed into landing crafts ready for invasion. Living for tips and tricks just sucked after a while, it took the fun out of my life, it took out the MAGIC of love and forced me to focus on the techniques and thus STAY COLD. How are you when you are out macking?

So I started to think why! WHY! Why am I doing this? Why am I sacrificing my happiness? What is the goal of all of this? To become successful with women was my first answer, then I realized that that was not it, I wanted to become successful to show that I was a man to others while the one thing I wanted was not ONS it was a relationship with a women I could love. I realised that I lived my life for others and that my life was nothing more than skirt-chasing and trying to please women. That shook my foundations to the last stone.

The primary thing I missed in my life was not women, and every women in the world couldn’t change that. The one thing I missed was true happiness. All the time I had been chasing girls I had been chasing some illusion that I would become happy if I slept with 1000 girls, while neglecting the rest of my life and focusing everything on women. And I guess there are more players out there who think that sleeping with the world will give happiness. No that is just not true. That’s just being afraid.

I noticed as I abandoned the tricks and manipulations and focused on other areas of my life (the last two months), improving myself I got more positive response from women. When I didn’t try to seduce them they was more interrested. When I didn’t try to seduce them and was happy and lived a good life women gave me more interrest. It was just more fun!

I had never before understood what pook had written and I had always disliked his way of thinking. But I realized that most of what he said was dead-on. Living with manipulations and tricks just make you unhappy in the end. It is not a life, it is a slavery to women. (and I see that the boards are flourishing with tricks and techniques) All techniques you need will come naturally when you feel good and are in sync with yourself. Around you there is a bubble of your soul which people in your vicinity feel. If it is filled with happiness and overly content of life, people will like you. And the more satisified your life is, the more people will flock to you because they to want to feel happiness. Let go of all the techniques and just listen to yourself and what you feel. The ultimate seducer is not found in any seduction book, it is found within yourself, without thinking about it. Free your mind, don’t change your personality.

So why seduce women for the sake of it and tell the results to get some cheering? So you slept with ten women this week? So what! Are you happy? Deep down, are you feeling that you are going somewhere. If you died now, would your life have had any meaning? The winner is the one who dies with a smile on his lips and had a eventful life, the loser is the one who think he is a winner when he isn’t happy and never accomplished anything he set out for other than sleeping with half the world. Live for the moment, don’t think all the time; feel, be the man, be happy and never look back.

I myself have been thinking about topics like this lately, since I am taking a slight break from sarging at the moment (mostly due to financial reasons).  When you step back from learning every single bell and whistle available to you, you really do start to ask yourself the question "Why am I doing this?"  Sometimes I wonder if I’m just making everything WAY too complicated.  Surely, guys who don’t use this stuff still get laid, right?

The thing is, it’s easy to lose focus when you’re learning this shit, especially if you’re involved in the internet scene heavily as I have become through the course of just doing the blog.  At some point, it stops being about what it started out to be (trying to get a girlfriend, improve your life, etc), and starts being a popularity contest where you’re trying to get the approval of men as opposed to women, which is a wierd phenomenon.

Most of my life, I’ve pined for girls I felt I could never have, and learning much of what this community has to offer has helped me to take some measure of control over that part of my life.  But I do think there comes a time where you have to take a step back and re-evaluate your process and determine whether or not what you’re doing is right.

I’ve met a lot of girls lately.  I’ve got three in particular I’m working at the moment.  Maybe that’s making me lazy.  I don’t know.  But I do know that I feel I’ve strayed slightly from my original goal, and it’s posts like the one Lifeforce wrote that help me to see that.

I’m wondering if there are others out there who feel the same way and have gone through this type of thing where they just abandoned all they learned and ended up doing better than before?  I’d be interested in hearing their thoughts on it.