The Gift of Missing You

So I was reading through the Girl Talk Message Boards today and found a rather interesting post, simply entitled “Boyfriends” with a rather disappointed looking Smiley Face next to the title. So I check it out and this is what I find.

i_am_o_so_sexy writes:
It was about one year after my boyfriend and I had met. His name’s Josh by the way. Anyways, he called me up about two months ago and he said “Howz my sexy gal doing tonight?” We started talking and then after sometime he said “Mel, I’m crazy for you. I would do anything for you” Without hesitation I joked-that was pretty obvious by the way you were on this body last night. He cut me off by saying”I want to call this off bye mel” I was startled and before I could say anything, he just hung up. Two months later my heart still yearns for him. I loved him dearly and the way he broke up was so uncalled for. I see him almost everyday at the coffee shop and he never even answers my hi. I feel awful. Any advice?

Maybe it was because I blogged about my buddy MasterClass today, but this was exactly what he’s talking about when he says “Give them the gift of missing you.” It’s like a massive form of Push/Pull that just wreaks havok on the female psyche, but it is SUCH an effective technique when done right, you can’t ignore it, especially if you’re looking to keep a girl interested in you.

Now, in the example above, I was reminded by an excellent post by the Great and Mighty Zan on a technique he uses that is appropriately titled “Zan’s Powerful Technique.” Here it is for all you routine junkies out here.

Zan writes:
I don’t know if this has been suggested before. I have read most of TFM and lots of the archive and don’t remember seeing anything like it, so I’m sorry if this is not new.

(Subconscious interjection: Move through life without apology, Zan!)

Wait a minute! I take that apology back.

I haven’t heard anyone mention something like this but IME, it is a very powerful technique. Here is the essence of it: Profess your undying affection and devotion to the girl – and then NEXT her.

When to use this? When you have seen her several times, you have had great rapport, but now it feels like she is starting to flake. If your thing with a girl was hot at one time (she tongued you down, lots of EV and talking, etc), but now you sense the whole thing is starting to drift towards LJBF land, and you have nothing else to lose, try this. It just might help to resurrect a moribund relationship with a girl.

Or if you really like a girl but you have done some stupid AFC moves (and who among us haven’t?) and she is starting to lose interest, try this.

I have used this before to devastating effect. It sounds very AFC at first blush, but hear me out. Notice the difference between these two paragraphs (which I just made up and are cheesy, but it’s just to illustrate what I mean):

AFC: I think about you day and night. You are so beautiful and I adore you. I can’t wait to see you again.

PUA: I think about you day and night. You are so beautiful and I adore you. But now I must go. You have touched me on a very deep level and it is more than I can bear. I am helpless before other women and I will only hurt you and myself. I can’t see you anymore.

Say the first phrase to a girl and she thinks “Ha ha, I have a yappy new lapdog. Buy me dinner!” Zero challenge; she has already won.

Say the second phrase and it throws her into a whirlwind of emotions. Her whole world becomes the cover of a romance novel. Her nurturing instinct kicks into high gear (after all, you are a victim of your desires and she must save you). She knows she is about to lose you. And she senses that you are about to run to the arms of ten other women for comfort.

It is very powerful. But the key is that she has to know that you really mean it. It has to be believable. You are *really* not going to see her anymore. And you should believe it too. After all, it was going cold already anyway and she was probably going to LJBF you.

And this is important – say it and then split. Get the hell out of Dodge. What I have found is that in a lot of cases, she will become obsessed with you. You will be bombarded with emails and phone calls from her. It is almost impossible for her to resist this challenge.

She almost certainly will try to coax you back. But only if you do this move while your rapport is still fairly strong and things are still going reasonably well between you two when you ditch her.

And when she contacts you, you must remain congruent and never let her feel she has you. From this point on. And the beauty is that you *can* go back to seeing her, but now you are the one with value. You are the prize. And you are the one that appears ready to leave at any moment. She WILL work to keep you.

And you have established the fact that you see other women and you can’t help it. And she can’t complain about this because you told her the way you are and that she might get hurt. But she still wants you anyway.

I pulled this on a girl recently. We were making out and I was kissing her neck and stuff and we were both feeling really good.

Using a poem from the manual (and slightly altering it), I said something like:

ME: (kissing her neck and talking very slowly) You know what I am, HB? I am your teardrop… I was conceived in your heart… I was born in your eyes… I live on your cheeks… and I will die on your lips.

Then while lightly kissing her lips, I said some variation of the adoration / Nexting phrase I mentioned earlier. And then I got up and took off.

This girl was almost certainly going to flake out on me, but now she calls me every night, wants to see me, understands that she is not exclusive, wants to save me, etc.

In fact, I have used this as a way to establish almost every one of my MLTRs.

Try it…

See what I mean by very powerful Push/Pull? And coming from a guy like Zan, who has a harem of women who all know about each other and who have threesomes with him reguarly, you can bet the bank this tactic is field tested and PUA approved.

But the really interesting thing here, and this is evidenced by the very first post from the girl, is that it is a very powerful emotional hook that can be created by men in any relationship. The Gift of Missing You is probably the most powerful tool any man can have in his relationship arsenal.