Office Mini-Sarge

**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 1/14/04

I hesitate to even call this a sarge, because I really didn’t do anything, but I thought it was interesting enough to mention anyway.  I make it a practice not to shit where I eat, so I tend not to pick-up or seduce anybody at work or places I like to frequent, such as restaurants and the like, but yesterday I inadvertantly broke that rule just a little bit.

A new employee has been hired at the company I work for, and she’s been assigned to my section.  Basically, this means we work in the same department, but the department is so big my interaction with her will be quite limited.  Never the less, new employees are always taken around by their supervisor and lead on a tour of all the department’s sections, introduced to all the people in that section, etc.  Now, this employee is quite a cute girl.  She’s young, around my age, with a nice smile and a really tight ass.  All the old men I work with were practically salivating over her when she came in.

So my supervisor meets her and takes her around the office, introducing her to all the old farts who are being more than nice to her, asking her questions about herself, complimenting her, etc.  Then, she gets to me in my little corner cubicle.  I’m there sitting at my computer looking at internet porn, so I quickly make use of my Safari Browser’s tabs and switch to Yahoo, then open a word document so it looks like I’m doing work.  My supervisor brings her to my desk and as he’s introducing me, I don’t even look at her.  I actually wait until the introduction is finished before I look away from my ”work” and nod in her direction.

She says it’s nice to meet me (total auto-pilot ”meeting people” trance state) and I don’t say a word to her.  I just stare at her in silence with my best look of disinterest.  Everyone — my supervisor and fellow employees — are just looking at me waiting for me to be nice to the cute new girl.  Soon, the silence becomes too uncomfortable, and a funny thing starts to happen.

My coworkers begin to qualify me.

It was a weird domino effect.  First, my supervisor starts to mention a few of my accomplishments to her.  Then my coworkers start elaborating on that and talk about how great and talented I am.  The entire time I’m just sitting there looking at her with bored disinterest, and she looks like a deer caught in headlights as everyone around her sings my praises.  When they’re done I smile, nod, and go back to ”work.”

After she leaves, instantly all the old men begin hemming and hawing about how hot she is and how great of an ass she has.  Then they turn to me and are like ”What’s wrong with you?  Didn’t you think she was hot?”  To which I replied ”Oh yeah.  She’s just not my type.”  hehehe.

Anyway, the whole situation was funny.  Just by acting cold and withdrawn (or ”aloof” to put it nicely) and playing against the social expectations, I forced those around me to accomplish intro me and qualify me to this cute girl they were all drooling over.  I’m willing to bet that the next time I see this girl, she’s going to remember me and no one else in my department.  =)

Thundercat