Worst. Sex Advice. Ever.
August 24, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews
You know, sometimes I stumble across a piece of advice that is so freakin’ bad, I can’t believe anybody would bother posting it. I mean, seriously…
MrXXX writes:
While recieving oral/sex just bust out your phone and start browsing, text someone etc. Shit you don’t even need to do anything. The idea is to focus your mind on anything that is not pleasure, by doing so you are blocking the mental part of the orgasm and thus you cannot cum. If the female asks why you are busting your phone just tell her “cause I want to fucking last longer” “cause i fucking can” “so I cant last longer”. etc….Thats it. Just do it. If it does not work your dumb as shit.
Actually, if you TAKE MrXXX’s advice, you’re dumb as shit. I mean, where do I even begin with this…
First off, if you take out your phone and start texting someone while getting a BJ, that’s probably gonna be the LAST BJ you ever get from that girl. Women give me shit about checking my phone while out on a DATE (some say its disrespectful) so I can just imagine how they’d react if I did that during sex. I mean, what girl wouldn’t get pissed off if she was going down on you and you’re texting someone or looking at your phone? I’ll tell you this – any girl who sees that happen is going to instantly think the guy isn’t into them, feel massively insecure, and STOP what they’re doing. I can almost guarantee that.
Secondly, why the hell do you want to last longer during a blowjob? During sex, yes, I can understand you’d want to increase endurance, but that’s because of your partner’s pleasure, right? Lasting long during a blowjob doesn’t do anyone any good. The girl doesn’t want to be down there all day! In fact, if you take TOO long, she’s going to think something is wrong. Plus, why would you want to deny yourself pleasure? That’s what sex is all about, right? Allow yourself to enjoy it!
If you REALLY need help here, blow your load fast during the BJ, then you’ll last longer during sex. No phone or mental torture required.
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그는 약간 현기증이 나고 몸을 가누지 못하고 얼굴이 창백해졌습니다…
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이제 효능을 알 수 없는 이 씨앗은 쉬징이 비싼 값에 사들였지만 서산에 왔다.이제 우리 아이가 나오려고 하니 아이를 위해 어느 정도 덕을 쌓아서 아이와 좋은 관계를 유지해야 합니다.
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그런 배, 얼마나 많은 군인과 민간인이 그것을 찾았는지 모르겠습니다.
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Zhu Dashou의 기사는 처음에 채굴 팀의 실패를 예측하지 않았습니까?
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Fang Jifan은 “폐하가 묻습니다. 여기서 무엇을하고 있습니까?”
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즉위식이 거행되었고 수백 명의 관리들과 함께 시성된 오스만 황제는 곧 원신하로 바뀌었다.
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분명히 이것은 폐하가 관리를 관리로 사용하는 것을 매우 싫어하기 때문입니다.
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그는 이미 활과 화살을 꺼냈고, 그의 아래에 있던 말도 역시 뛰기 시작했다.
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Hongzhi 황제는 얼굴에 미소를 지으며 행복하게 고개를 끄덕였습니다. “좋아, 좋아, 좋아!”
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이 문장은 결정적이지만 매우 감동적입니다.이 소위 말하는 것은 Kunning Palace에가는 것을 의미합니다.
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폐하의 다음 행보를 기다리는 듯 모두가 궁궐을 바라보았다.
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그는 밭의 능선에 서서 밭에서 사람들을 마구 추수하도록 이끄는 왕자를 바라보았다.
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이에 천중은 눈시울이 붉어져 눈물을 닦을 수 없었다.
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여러 왕조를 거친 후 Liu Huiwen은 항상 Hongzhi 황제에게 정직하고 노인의 이미지를 부여했습니다.
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“전하, 이것이 누군가가 말한 것이라고 생각하십니까?” Fang Jifan이 통곡했습니다.
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Fang Jifan은 감정적으로 말했습니다. “폐하가 돈에 미쳤기 때문일 것입니다.”
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그러나 사실 그것은 영국 대중 Zhang Mao에게 떨어졌습니다.
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Hongzhi 황제는 조금 피곤해 보였기 때문에 아래층에서 휴식을 취했습니다.
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Li Zheng은 엄숙하게 절했습니다. “폐하가 너무 친절해서 절대 잊지 않고 죽음으로 갚겠습니다.”