Be Your Own Guru

There’s a term out there that applies to newbies.  It’s called “Paralysis of Analysis”.  When I first started I definitely fell into this trap.  I’d read everything there is to read, and post every place I could find, but rarely go out and do any field work.  Now I find it irritating to force myself  to sit at my computer and post anywhere, since it takes time away from the time that could be spent in the field, developing social circles, or school and other life building goals.

Many new guys fall into this trap yet many find there way out again and begin going out in the field as I did.  There seems to actually be a natural correlation.  Those who stay in the community for 3 months will keep it going and those who stay for 5 months usually have begun really learning from the field.  This post isn’t for the new guys though, (sorry I’ll make one for you guys later on), this post is for those intermediate guys.  The guy’s who have taken the game seriously and have gone out again and again into the field and still have yet to begin seeing the results that they’ve been waiting for.  This post is for every guy who has asked the following question…

“What do I need to do to make that change and get myself to the next level?”

The answer? Become Your Own Guru

Have you been in this game for over a year and a half and still not getting the results? Be your own guru.

Do you go out practically every night yet still see only mediocre improvement, if any, when looking back over the months or years? Be your own guru.

Are all your PUA friends progressing while you feel perpetually stuck on a plateau? That’s right, be your own guru.

See I began noticing a few months back that every time I went out with my community wings that a familiar pattern began to happen.  Before every sarge we’d discuss what Guru X thinks and why some particular way is better because Guru Y said so.  Then during the sarge I’d notice that every community guy had a tendency to talk about game instead of actually doing it.  I did this myself for a while but finally broke out of that mindset, even so many wings would try and talk about it regardless.  Finally at the end of the night we’d have a debrief where I’d be told how something I did was wrong because of  something Guru Z said and then we’d debate who made the most sense out of Guru’s A, B, and C.

Everything I did in field was the result of something some OTHER GUY thought was right and taught it to be done.  It was maddening to see all the different styles and methods out there, and try and figure out which guy I should listen to.  Hoping that the next product from Guru X would finally be the missing piece I’ve always needed.  It got to the point where I felt almost everything I learned about pick up could be debated because of the different beliefs and ideas of Gurus.  Now that I look back it was a new form of “Paralysis of Analysis” all over again but not quite, it wasn’t exactly guru worship either.  It was something I’ll call “Guru Overload”.

PUA’s with Guru Overload can be going into the field nonstop, the problem however is that they keep trying to juggle all these different ideas out there and use stuff from other people without ever trying to figure things out for themselves.  Instead of using the community as a reference point to make sense of their own findings they never try and make any of their own findings at all and just keep practicing the next shiny idea in the community.  Should we be trying to DHV or is the answer simply to bring the Nimbus?!

I finally had my click one day and decided that from now on I would determine what’s best in field, not any other guru, unless it made sense for what I personally have been finding.  When I did this my game improved dramatically.  My wings would say “Why are you doing that? Guru X says you should do this instead.” My reply to this every time was “Ah, but I say I should be doing that.”  The thing is most of you already know the answers, or can work it out yourselves, but there’s the fear of “I’m not good enough and need to keep seeing what others think I should do.”

For those intermediate guys.  You know the theory, you understand how this works, and anything you don’t know you understand how to figure it out and learn from yourself.  Here it is finally plain as day, do exactly that.  Be your own guru already.  Socially experiment and stop doing what you think you SHOULD do or is NEEDED and instead begin doing what YOU feel is right and make your own assumptions on things.  This doesn’t mean forget about ideas and material out there that can help though, instead learn to appreciate it on a much more meaningful level.  Instead of it being something for you to shape yourself to, it can now become something that you may or may not incorporate into your own individual style.

I’m not going to tell you what needs to be done, or the next best thing for your game, or even a new method that you have to learn…how about you tell me instead?

Hope this helps guys,

-Jarett aka Psych