Be Your Own Guru

September 12, 2008 by  
Filed under Articles, Guest Authors, Psych

There’s a term out there that applies to newbies.  It’s called “Paralysis of Analysis”.  When I first started I definitely fell into this trap.  I’d read everything there is to read, and post every place I could find, but rarely go out and do any field work.  Now I find it irritating to force myself  to sit at my computer and post anywhere, since it takes time away from the time that could be spent in the field, developing social circles, or school and other life building goals.

Many new guys fall into this trap yet many find there way out again and begin going out in the field as I did.  There seems to actually be a natural correlation.  Those who stay in the community for 3 months will keep it going and those who stay for 5 months usually have begun really learning from the field.  This post isn’t for the new guys though, (sorry I’ll make one for you guys later on), this post is for those intermediate guys.  The guy’s who have taken the game seriously and have gone out again and again into the field and still have yet to begin seeing the results that they’ve been waiting for.  This post is for every guy who has asked the following question…

“What do I need to do to make that change and get myself to the next level?”

The answer? Become Your Own Guru

Have you been in this game for over a year and a half and still not getting the results? Be your own guru.

Do you go out practically every night yet still see only mediocre improvement, if any, when looking back over the months or years? Be your own guru.

Are all your PUA friends progressing while you feel perpetually stuck on a plateau? That’s right, be your own guru.

See I began noticing a few months back that every time I went out with my community wings that a familiar pattern began to happen.  Before every sarge we’d discuss what Guru X thinks and why some particular way is better because Guru Y said so.  Then during the sarge I’d notice that every community guy had a tendency to talk about game instead of actually doing it.  I did this myself for a while but finally broke out of that mindset, even so many wings would try and talk about it regardless.  Finally at the end of the night we’d have a debrief where I’d be told how something I did was wrong because of  something Guru Z said and then we’d debate who made the most sense out of Guru’s A, B, and C.

Everything I did in field was the result of something some OTHER GUY thought was right and taught it to be done.  It was maddening to see all the different styles and methods out there, and try and figure out which guy I should listen to.  Hoping that the next product from Guru X would finally be the missing piece I’ve always needed.  It got to the point where I felt almost everything I learned about pick up could be debated because of the different beliefs and ideas of Gurus.  Now that I look back it was a new form of “Paralysis of Analysis” all over again but not quite, it wasn’t exactly guru worship either.  It was something I’ll call “Guru Overload”.

PUA’s with Guru Overload can be going into the field nonstop, the problem however is that they keep trying to juggle all these different ideas out there and use stuff from other people without ever trying to figure things out for themselves.  Instead of using the community as a reference point to make sense of their own findings they never try and make any of their own findings at all and just keep practicing the next shiny idea in the community.  Should we be trying to DHV or is the answer simply to bring the Nimbus?!

I finally had my click one day and decided that from now on I would determine what’s best in field, not any other guru, unless it made sense for what I personally have been finding.  When I did this my game improved dramatically.  My wings would say “Why are you doing that? Guru X says you should do this instead.” My reply to this every time was “Ah, but I say I should be doing that.”  The thing is most of you already know the answers, or can work it out yourselves, but there’s the fear of “I’m not good enough and need to keep seeing what others think I should do.”

For those intermediate guys.  You know the theory, you understand how this works, and anything you don’t know you understand how to figure it out and learn from yourself.  Here it is finally plain as day, do exactly that.  Be your own guru already.  Socially experiment and stop doing what you think you SHOULD do or is NEEDED and instead begin doing what YOU feel is right and make your own assumptions on things.  This doesn’t mean forget about ideas and material out there that can help though, instead learn to appreciate it on a much more meaningful level.  Instead of it being something for you to shape yourself to, it can now become something that you may or may not incorporate into your own individual style.

I’m not going to tell you what needs to be done, or the next best thing for your game, or even a new method that you have to learn…how about you tell me instead?

Hope this helps guys,

-Jarett aka Psych

Get Your Free Guide Here!


192 Responses to “Be Your Own Guru”
  1. Stealth says:

    Does this mean people should not buy anymore products???? NNNOOOOO. You’re saying people should not buy anymore material… You’re going to make some mofo’s broke… and some other kids save their money.

  2. Respect says:

    Solid advice, Jarrett.

  3. Genius says:

    This post is not a very good. Most people are not able to do this. A better formula is to use Captain Jack’s sticking point analysis or Join Brad P’s 30/30 program.

  4. ELEV8 says:

    genius needs to change his name, ’cause he’s not exactly the sharpest tac in the box. the only people who CAN’T do this, haven’t reached the intermediate or advanced levels yet. that being said, i’m guessing he skipped over the part where psych said “This post isn’t for the new guys” near the beginning of the article. at any rate, great article psych!

  5. Kelso says:

    I think there is some merit to this article. I have been to a few bootcamps, read this and that and after two years I have yet to see any tangible results. Its very discouraging. I try and approach, dress well, game as hard as I can and nothing happens……

  6. lame says:

    this post is pretty stupid. something on the lines of retarded community stuff and getting girls can solve all your problems.. actually most guys who go out in to the field and dont ever improve tend to have really bad psychological problems. you think that someone who was molested can get over his issues with women by just approaching more and being his own guru? that’s retarded. sure some guys in this world can just read some pickup material and then improve rapidly because they don’t have any problems… but theres a reason why the majority of guys who com into this suck at getting women women in the first place and the answer is definitely not go in field more.. its more deal with your problomes first.

  7. ELEV8 says:

    ^^^i want to punch this guy in the face…does that make me a bad person?

  8. Edward Bloom says:

    It sort of reminds me of the saying, “If you see Buddha in the road, kill him.”

    There are many learning styles and many different ways to teach. A whole lot of them are incompatible. There have been a few horrible teachers that I learned maybe one thing from and some brilliant teacher that I learned a lot from. Not just from pick=up, from life.

    There are also lessons I finally learned, then looked back and realized how easy the concept was.

  9. Erika says:

    This made me laugh. :-) The inner committee, the outer committee – they are one and the same, and as long as they are jabbering, nothing will get done. Integrate the voices, listen to your intuition, and become your own guru. Jarett, thanks for the laughs.

  10. Apollo says:

    Pscyh, I really think you hit the nail on the head with this one. Although I have to admit it really is all about brining the NIMBUS!!! hahaha… Solid work.

  11. Whatever you damned chode.

    Hey guys, I’m officially kicking off “Operation Move The Free Line” with a free 12 part video series on Seduction Language Mastery on my blog.

    go here:

  12. Endless says:

    ^^No need for uncivil opening statements dude. If you disagree that’s cool, just say you don’t agree and offer your own view point, no need for name calling. Everyone posting here is ultimately after the same thing.

    That being said, I agree with the post.

    In the past I’ve been dogmatic in following a particular guru’s advice or even just general community advocated mindsets that were either out-dated on incongruent with who *I* am. This resulted in a lot of blown lays due to uncalibrated or incongruent behavior which ultimately stemmed from a lack of confidence in myself to get what myself wants. Fuck all that.. At this point in my ‘game’ I take concepts I like from different ‘gurus’ and leave the ones that don’t feel congruent on the table.

    A more “natural”, or “organic” approach if you will, is my MO.

    A piece of advice I will give to newbies: Start off with a structure of some sort and hit the field. Once you get your initial blow-outs and silly fuckups out of the way get your delivery, energy, and calibration down. Once you get those three squared away, drop the structure and freestyle it. From there listen to your gut with confidence and you won’t go wrong.

    Game on!!!


  13. Stealth says:

    It seems to me like Ross has an itty bitty ego. Do you get out much? Seriously bro. No one called you anything, now I’m sure Psych can take the heat, but jeez dude, you need to chill. I read that bad publicity is worse than no publicity. You’re definitely getting bad publicity Ross if you act that way.

  14. ELEV8 says:

    Hey Ross,

    Somebody told me you’re a big fan of fruit. What’s your favorite fruit? I bet you like oranges huh? Mmmm….yea, oranges are yummy. I don’t know if you can IMAGINE… SUCKING into one sweet, delicious, orange NOW…mmm…taste how sweet the orange is…swishing INSIDE YOUR MOUTH…mmm…so tasty…doesn’t that give you lots of pleasure and ha-PENIS just thinking about that? Mmm…I bet, if there were a oranges here NOW, you’d WANT IT IN YOUR MOUTH, now wouldn’t you?


  15. Crossover says:


    and ELEV8 with the closing pitch! Thanks for the laugh dude.

    Hey Ross btw hows your 17yr old sophmore doing?

  16. amo says:

    rated this is good advice for me..thanks

  17. Anonymous says:

    I would say instead…
    Learn as much as you can…
    Read as much as you can…
    See as much seminars as you can afford (or just download them all with emule… Is cheaper!)
    THEN, after you have the tools your brain will do the rest…
    You are a human being, and a brain is needed to learn anything…
    What does TO LEARN means anyway? HERE is the key.
    And, in my opinion, the answer is:
    To learn is to fill the intelect with proper information…
    After that TEST as much as you can all the stuff you have in your brian…
    First, of course, you NEED to know wich your goals are.
    If you have a PORPUSE, you’ll know what to keep and what to discard.
    Porpuse + Information = Success.
    This applies to THE GAME, and to EVERYTHING in life i think
    (sorry for my english since it is not my natural tongue)
    PS: In this frame you are always you own guru in the end, wheter you know it or not.
    Don’t foget that the gurus are gurus for a reason, and that reason is that they THINK what they do and analize what they learn from others! If you don’t do that you are like a brainless robot! Of course you could be efficient, but soulless…

  18. Anonymous says:

    You ripped this off from the RSD forum. Somebody posted up an almost identical article early this year.

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