Why We Flirt

I came across a rather interesting article on Time Magazine’s website that asks the question "Why We Flirt?"

Contrary to widespread belief, only two very specific types of people
flirt: those who are single and those who are married. Single people
flirt because, well, they’re single and therefore nobody is really
contractually obliged to talk to them, sleep with them or scratch that
difficult-to-reach part of the back. But married people, they’re a
tougher puzzle. They’ve found themselves a suitable–maybe even
superior–mate, had a bit of productive fun with the old gametes and
ensured that at least some of their genes are carried into the next
generation. They’ve done their duty, evolutionarily speaking. Their
genome will survive. Yay them. So for Pete’s sake, why do they persist
with the game?

The article goes on…

And before you claim, whether single or married, that you never
flirt, bear in mind that it’s not just talk we’re dealing with here.
It’s gestures, stance, eye movement. Notice how you lean forward to the
person you’re talking to and tip up your heels? Notice the quick little
eyebrow raise you make, the sidelong glance coupled with the weak smile
you give, the slightly sustained gaze you offer? If you’re a woman, do
you feel your head tilting to the side a bit, exposing either your
soft, sensuous neck or, looking at it another way, your jugular? If
you’re a guy, are you keeping your body in an open, come-on-attack-me
position, arms positioned to draw the eye to your impressive lower
abdomen?

Scientists call all these little acts
"contact-readiness" cues, because they indicate, nonverbally, that
you’re prepared for physical engagement. (More general body language is
known as "nonverbal leakage." Deep in their souls, all scientists are
poets.) These cues are a crucial part of what’s known in human-ethology
circles as the "heterosexual relationship initiation process" and
elsewhere, often on the selfsame college campuses, as "coming on to
someone." In primal terms, they’re physical signals that you don’t
intend to dominate, nor do you intend to flee–both useful messages
potential mates need to send before they can proceed to that awkward
talking phase. They’re the opening line, so to speak, for the opening
line.

One of the reasons we flirt in this way is that we can’t
help it. We’re programmed to do it, whether by biology or culture. The
biology part has been investigated by any number of researchers.
Ethologist Irenaus Eibl Eibesfeldt, then of the Max Planck Institute in
Germany, filmed African tribes in the 1960s and found that the women
there did the exact same prolonged stare followed by a head tilt away
with a little smile that he saw in America. (The technical name for the
head movement is a "cant." Except in this case it’s more like "can.")

Evolutionary
biologists would suggest that those individuals who executed flirting
maneuvers most adeptly were more successful in swiftly finding a mate
and reproducing and that the behavior therefore became widespread in
all humans. "A lot of people feel flirting is part of the universal
language of how we communicate, especially nonverbally," says Jeffry
Simpson, director of the social psychology program at the University of
Minnesota.

Flirting is such an important part of the mating process.  This is the real way you create sexual tension that can build into attraction.  Yet SO FEW guys really take the time to learn how to flirt with women.  I’d highly recommend you check out the rest of this article.  It’s very interesting.