Marriage Vs. Monogomy: Cheating Spouses
April 11, 2007 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews
I found a fascinating op/ed piece over on the New York Times website that talks about the different culture of "cheating spouses" from around the world. Check out what they had to say about Americans…
Americans cherish monogamy, but they value honesty even more. In
the 1970s and 1980s, as it became easier to divorce and couples
counseling emerged as the forum for resolving marital spats, Americans
decided marriage ought to be a transparent zone without any secrets.
They developed a unique mantra about affairs: It’s not the sex, it’s
the lying.One popular American remedy for cheating is now
extreme truth-telling. Couples and their therapists can spend dozens of
hours and thousands of dollars retracing every sordid detail of the
affair, complete with times and dates. (Note to unfaithful Americans:
save your motel receipts to make this easier).Even after a
private confession, the moral stain often sticks. America’s founders
thought that the character of their new state hinged on the values and
even the private behavior of voters, so they stressed monogamous
marriage and warned that anything else threatened the state. The United
States is the only country I found where high-profile people who had
strayed are thought to be capable of any manner of corruption and
lying, and apologize to their employees or constituents for their
private behavior.American confessions baffle the French. Many
of them could die comfortably with their marital secrets. Though they
prefer monogamy, when the French do cheat they typically aren’t saddled
with guilt. Couples give each other privacy so that they don’t trip
over unwanted information.
Apparently the rest of the world is a lot more "liberal" when it comes to extra-marital affairs. Maybe the argument that true monogomy is just a myth has some bearing?
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