Why Do Chicks Flake?

June 1, 2006 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews

I found this post by a guy named BlueMystery over on mASF…

BlueMystery writes:
Hey guys,

I need some help with something that has been frustrating me lately.

I’m able to approach girls, start a convo, get something fun going, get their number while I feel that they are interested in me. (eg: I would say "This was fun, but I gotta go. what can we do to have this conversation again sometime?" They would give it, and we would part.)

I call them up, and sometimes I get the answering machine, where I would tell them (credit to Craig from DYD) "Hey, this is Dan from blah blah, you might wanna call me back. I think you have a confession to make. ok, bye". Of course I would be joking/serious about it.

Most of the time, I dont get a call back. Some times, we set day 2s, and either they flake or cancel on me at the last moment. Lol, one chick blatantly left a message saying "I wont be able to make it because I forgot that I was going to the movies at that time".

What do you guys suppose I am missing when engaging chicks? Are they feeling buyer’s remorse? Am I not screening properly? It’s honestly frustrating.

I will give more more detail to help narrow down the conversation, but I don’t know where to begin analyzing the situ.

Any help would be most appreciated.

You know, this is a REALLY common problem a lot of guys run into.

The meet a girl, they get a number, they think they’re in… and when it comes time to call her up again, she flakes.

No phone call. No 2nd meet. Nothing.

It happens ALL THE TIME. So often in fact, that the top PUAs out there have multiple different strategies to try and prevent it. Things like leaving personal stuff with the girl to "lock her in" so she is in some way OBLIGATED to get back in touch with you.

But in my opinion, that’s a little extreme. To me, unless a woman is truly excited about seeing you again, its not worth the time and effort to try and get her to call you back or meet you for coffee. I’m not saying you SHOULDN’T do that, I just don’t think its worth my effort.

The real fix to this problem comes in the initial meet. You have to do three things in my opinion: Establish a strong connection with the girl, demonstrate higher value, and generate some attraction.

In my humble opinion, those three things will nuke any possibility of flaking you could encounter.

The reason for this is because you need to make a girl WANT to see you again if you want to prevent flaking!

Most guys will maybe get one or two of these in an interaction. But I really think you need all three to make it work. If you just get the connection, you’re the "cool guy who’d make a good friend, but I can’t find the time to hang out with you right now." Same thing with the DHV. If you get some attraction, you might be the "cute guy" she met the other night, but once you’re out of site, the attraction wears off.

BUT, if you get all three, they all re-inforce each other, and you become the "awesome guy" she hopes calls her.

Thoughts?

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