Regaining The Frame

April 12, 2006 by  
Filed under Articles

SteviePUA has a great article here about how to regain your frame when someone messes it up for you.



Handling Attempted Shutdowns

When someone tells you to "fuck off" or "go away" in the field, it is an attempt to shut you down and it can negatively affect your state. Why is that? It knocks you off your stride and you are not usually prepared to deal with it. Why do they tell you to disappear?

They tell you to leave them alone because you have not pulled them into your reality yet. If you had pulled them into your reality, building rapport with them, having them perceive your value, then they would not be telling you to go away.

One of the best ways to deal with the situation is to regain the dominant frame which probably was either not there to begin with or has been lost somewhere along the line. Regaining the frame allows you to pull her into your reality.

How do you do this? Firstly – go with the flow. A major rule of persuasion and influence is to agree with the person. Don’t argue because that invokes the weapon of consistency and the person becomes entrenched in defending their position.

You can go with the flow by agreeing with them, this matches what they want, and they are not used to someone agreeing. This in itself breaks their expectation and makes them less defensive. From there, you take control of the response, building upon the agreement and steering it to where you want to go with it, developing it into a display of higher value.

Practically speaking, it goes along these lines:

"Yeah, ok, sure, you know what? I am going to fuck off so well you’ll have never seen someone fuck off so brilliantly, it’ll be like I am at the ‘fucking off Olympics’ and I’m going to win the gold medal. They don’t give medals to just anyone you know – you have to train for months, you have to get up in the early hours and fuck off for 2 hours before breakfast.

Then you have your shower and get ready to do it again around lunch time – don’t eat a big meal or it can affect your performance – you think these athletes don’t practise at it for long hours? Just the other week I was at the gym and I met a girl I used to know from school – at school she used to be so plain – she kind of looked like that girl from Scooby Doo – you know the one with the glasses, what’s her name – Fred or something? And you’ve heard the story of the ugly duckling? Well …."

See what you are doing – you are agreeing, then using exaggeration and humour to playfully regain the frame.  Then you lead into a related topic and from there branch off into a new story to DHV. You quietly drop the ‘fuck off’ objection so it fades away as your speaking continues. It is there at the beginning to match what the person wants, and then it is dropped as the response moves into different themes and you begin to assert a new frame over the original one. This puts you back in the driving seat, in terms of owning the frame.

Stevie’s Web Site – mp3s, photos, reports and info.
http://pua.zap.to

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Comments

18 Responses to “Regaining The Frame”
  1. The Darkchild says:

    Nice. Very nice.

    I would probably also consider throwing my drink in her face. But hey, that’s just me.

    Besides, after regaining the frame, you can proceed to make her head spin, fuck her, and then blow her off. Also, very fullfilling.

    Most of you guys probably wouldn’t do that either, but hey, that’s just me.

  2. game on bros says:

    stevePUa knows how to game on.

    keep gaming on stevePuA

    game on bros

  3. Unplugged says:

    THAT’S FUCKING LAME

  4. L8er says:

    What a retarded article.

    It just has BETA written all over it…

  5. HANDSOLOMETHOD says:

    She told you to fuck off cause why.. you walked up to her, said “HEY BITCH you look like a real fucking slut… do you like it up the ass you fucking whore – I want to give you the money shot ALL OVER YOUR FACE you fucking skank-ass bitch you like that dont you HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA” and pinched her nipples HARD so it hurt.

    and then she said “fuck off”??????? fair enough…

    otherwise forget that bitch and talk to somebody socially adjusted.

    PS check out Hand Solo Method as taught by the most powerful of the Jedi.. flossmaster Strauss

  6. hrhr says:

    very useful post, thank you stevie.
    i am looking forward to meeting up with you, you just don’t know it yet.

  7. The Unknown PUA says:

    A better reponse to a woman that acts that way is to laugh at her then chastise her for her lack of manners and lack of social skills. Then walk away.

    It takes less time, less energy and gets you to talking to other women sooner.

  8. nrv31 says:

    “You can go with the flow by agreeing with them, this matches what they want, and they are not used to someone agreeing. This in itself breaks their expectation and makes them less defensive. From there, you take control of the response, building upon the agreement and steering it to where you want to go with it, developing it into a display of higher value’

    This is fuckin’ bullshit you egghead englishman..my past boss did this too me and I saw right through it…she would agree then gradually restate her opinion..I saw this pattern right away.DO you eggheads all go to the same bloody seminars? I”M talkin’ to you you fuckin’ englishman! All you corporate types an your clever wimp ass manipulation!! Suck my purple plums you bleedin’ git…bloody bullocks ….Piss off you turd burglar..no good poofter tactics..

  9. GetReal says:

    Get real man. This passive aggressive shit is for the birds. This cunt just told you to fuck off and you’re going to sit there and eat her shit? lol. Yeah, you’re a real pua super star. When is it ok to put up with bullshit behavior? You need to stop hanging out with those softies from the RSD and Mystery camp, and get with some naturals.

    P.S. If she says fuck off, you give her the straight right followed by the left hook. That advice is free.

  10. GetReal says:

    Get real man. This passive aggressive shit is for the birds. This cunt just told you to fuck off and you’re going to sit there and eat her shit? lol. Yeah, you’re a real pua super star. When is it ok to put up with bullshit behavior? You need to stop hanging out with those softies from the RSD and Mystery camp, and get with some naturals.

    P.S. If she says fuck off, you give her the straight right followed by the left hook. That advice is free.

  11. The Darkchild says:

    Quote:

    P.S. If she says fuck off, you give her the straight right followed by the left hook. That advice is free.

    LOL, that one killed me dude. Excellent advice by the way(H)

  12. Geese Howard says:

    I really don’t see this working. It seems really pathetic and reaching for her approval.

    Like, “Hey Notice me!!”

    All the while the chick feels satisfied that she has gotten all of that out of you by saying 2 simple words. Then she blows you off anyways and feels satisfied knowing that her hunch about you being a creep must have been right since you just acted like one.

    I like using Jugglers idea of making it seem like she’s the one who’s socially inept. Say something like, “I feel sorry for you. You’re too good looking. The best
    thing that could happen to you is an industrial accident.”

    She might say something like, “Good.” or whatever in which case I completely agree with the guy above who says there are Other chicks to go talk to.

    If she says, “What?” or “What are you talking about?” you can say, “Shutup. You know exactly what I’m talking about, love.”

    By the way it is true what juggler says in his e-book. You can say almost anything to a girl if you call her, “Love”.

    It has some weird magical effect on the girl.

    Or the EXACT oppisite sometimes works, “You’re not good looking enough to be stuck up.”

    Or you could say “I like you. You have a fun vibe. But I guess it doesn’t matter… if you’re going to act like a jerk.”

    If she’s part of a group you could say (just like a girl who isn’t interested in talking to you does.), “I wasn’t taking to you, silly.”

    Or you could look at her friends and say, “Whats wrong with her and why does she think I’m talking to her?”

    Many times chicks will actually say something along the lines of, “Oh she’s always like that.” In which case you just do the mystery stuff to her and ignore her for a bit and/or tell her to stop interrupting, ask her where her off button is, that kind of stuff.

    I definately like, “Where’s your off button?” and for some reason chicks do too.

    Here’s my last one you could try for fun. Look at her and smile and say with enthusiasm, “You’re so fucking cool…” and then laugh a little. If she has a friend, talk to her then. If you aren’t phased she will start to wonder why.

    Remember, it’s all fun and practice. If you reframe it like she is 1 out of 1000 women you have talked to who is acting that way you win. Always be willing to walk away.

    Lastly Mystery suggests symply saying, “Cute. I eat girls like you for breakfast.”

    She may say, “Thats nice.” and then you go about your business.

    All you’re really doing is putting in that extra 10-20% of effort. It’s for you not for her. In the long run forceing yourself to be in set a little longer than you think you should will do wonders for your game. (Mystery says something similar when talking about Style)

  13. robbie williams says:

    I stole style’s girlfriend…I had sex with her while style was on the view, telling the World about methods he never came up with.

    Now i’m fucking the shit out of Lisa and sending pictures to style of my new “anus licking method” that Lisa came up with on my ass.

    Neil Stauss lost his girl to me and this is the fucker u guys worhsip? ha ha ha ha I say, you guys are chumps!

  14. Elvis Preston King says:

    Think Like a Star Who is the Prize if You Want One Girlfriend or a Thousand

    You do not gain prizeability with women by showing off your bank account, taking them out for expensive dinners and buying them fine jewelry.

    The old adage that you can’t buy love applies here. I know society and maybe Mom had taught you to seduce women the traditional way. In contrast to your old fashioned logic doing these things lowers your value in the eyes of women. I know it doesn’t make any sense but that’s just the way it is.

    Most men come from the mind set that they have to win women over. The reality is that women see a man who is trying to win them over as a spineless wimp with no balls.

    Don’t get me wrong women welcome your ignorance. Most women like the idea of a man they can use and abuse. A door mat to get what they want and a man they can boss around is not all bad for the girl or lady. Buy her a nice dinner and drop her off at home, get you kiss on the cheek and Elvis will swing by later and get what the Prize always deserves and I won’t spend one cent on her either. Yes, do it your way and see who gets laid!

    What we are talking about here little buddy is inner game, positive beliefs that you are the star prize. I know if you are coming from a position as a wussie this can be a challenge to acquire. The more success I have with women the more star prizeability that I perceive myself to have. It is all an attitude. Belief is a powerful tool. I assume that almost all women want to get their hot little hands and lips all over the King. The key is to get out of the loser frame of mind. Read some books and study tapes on how to think like a winner.

    To increase your power over women learn how to think like a star. Couple that attitude of star prizeability with a good sense of humor and a few interesting things to say topped off with a great love making session and you will play Hell getting rid of your little hottie. Star Prizeability leads to tons of hot babes. How do you think the King lays thousand of hot babes. Think Like a Star!

    Elvis Preston King
    http://www.msnusers.com/BachelorDreamTours

  15. Ross Jeffries eats pork says:

    Hey Elvis,

    I’m glad you learned a lot from swinngcat’s recent newsletter. keep up the good studying.

  16. Ah Haaa says:

    LOL

  17. GUNNY says:

    i’m fat

  18. Stevie PUA says:

    It depends if you want to go somewhere with the chick or if you want to cut your losses and feel good about yourself.

    Sure, cutting your losses is one way to do it. You put her in her place and feel better about it. You save face. However, the majority of the times you do this you are not going to progress with her towards your goals. This is for chicks on autopilot or who have not yet seen your game properly. It buys you time to display value. It allows you to recreate a bridge into her world that gives the opportunity to pull her back into your world.

    As influential people we want to have choice in our actions and responses. If all you can do to a rude chick is put her in her place then you have a limited set of options. I can put her in her place. But what I am describing adds another tool to your skillset. Try this first before burning your bridges with her. In my experience those extra few minutes have allowed me to buy time to create lots of new interactions with her and her HB friends.

    Not being phased and not crediting shit tests is a third way between her closing you down, you closing her down and moving on (AKA burning your bridges). Within that time frame exists extended possibility from your deliberate control of the interaction.

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