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How Not To Be Dependant On One Woman

August 29, 2005 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

n3rv1 has one hell of a post over on mASF about something he calls "Dependancy."  We all know how sometimes a guy can get hung up on that "one special girl," and when that happens, he ignores all other possibilities with women only to eventually find out that the girl of his desire just wants to be "friends."  Well, n3rv1 offers a solution to that predicament…

n3rv1 writes:
Variation.

I’m not a drug councelor or anywhere near an expert on the issue, so what I mean by "dependency" is a subtle kind of mental weakness that keeps a guy from doing things out of the ordinary, like, say, having sex with different women.

As I see it, dependency keeps a guy in his comfort zone. This is a big issue. He learns to depend on circumstances being familiar. His system can’t cope unless he is "in his element," so to speak. This inability to cope with new situations will, over time, translate into an unwillingness to ACT outside of the boundaries of what’s known and predictable.

This unwillingness to act is what I mean by "dependency."

The best cure for this is VARIATION in all senses of the meaning.

Mix it up. Keep things fresh. Engage everything. These words are purposely ambiguous.

Hovering over insignifcant details shouldn’t be allowed. Sticking to one train of thought for too long should become UNCOMFORTABLE. "New" things should no longer be seen as
"new," but "natural."

I seriously think this issue and explanation is multi-applicable. I think it has to do with PU, sexual activity, probably even drug/substance use, feelings of motivation, happiness, and a whole lot of other shit that I can’t explain.

Personal, REAL LIFE examples of how I try to keep things in variation include, but are in no way limited to:

Physical Activities: Obviously sex, lifting weights, playing frisbee golf, swimming, canoeing, hiking, camping, biking, fishing, cooking outdoors, playing drums, painting, working two part-time jobs instead of one full-time job, walking as transportation, doing weird shit, etc.

Mental Activities: #1 MOST IMPORTANT: TALKING TO STRANGERS (there’s no better mental exercise for me than having quick connections with random people — it’s a dual exercise in wit and empathy, it’s not PU, it’s nothing that takes EFFORT, it’s just an overall openness and compassion for other human beings), listening to as wide a variety of music as possible, reading (philosophy, art, comparative mythology, great literary works, science magazines, psychology, PU, current affairs, history, comic books, etc) writing(***PU JOURNAL*** –> key item: keeping track of approaches and random interactions I’ve had throughout the day keeps positive experiences in my conscious sphere, making it easier for me to project positive friendly-guy vibes}, interesting-event journal, dream journal, keeping track of upcoming events, creative writing, mASF, written correspondence, chat, random thoughts jotted down on post-it notes, etc), watching movies and TV (which I don’t get enough of — with no cable access and a budget too tight for rentals or high-speed internet I’m kind of out of touch with pop culture)

The main point I’m trying to make is that it is possible to INGRAIN VARIETY into your behavior and lifestyle, not in a drastic, earth-shattering way, but in MANY realistic, subtle, yet impactful ways.

I wholeheartedly agree with n3rv1′s assessment here.  It’s really foolish to latch on to just ONE woman (at least until you’re married or in a relationship).  You have to keep your options open and meet lots of women.  This little tactic will really help you from getting your heart broken.

Get Your Free Guide Here!

Comments

7,694 Responses to “How Not To Be Dependant On One Woman”
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    By Anuradha Nagaraj, Naimul Karim and Ban Barkawi

    CHENNAI/DHAKA/AMMAN, Sep 9 (Thomson Reuters Foundation) – N izar Kochery has been fighting for migrant workers’ rights in the courts for decades, but he has
    never felt so overwhelmed.

    As the coronavirus pandemic forced tens of thousands of South Asian migrants
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    “Non-payment of wages or benefits has always plagued migrant workers in Gulf countries,” said Kochery, who
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    “But during COVID, the impact is being felt 100 times more. People left in fear, in a hurry, and most did not have time to collect pending wages or benefits as they boarded special flights to return home. Now they are counting their losses.”

    South Asians have for years travelled to wealthier Gulf countries for employment, mostly as domestic workers
    or in the construction and hospitality sectors.

    One migrant worker often supports many relatives and can earn far more than they would make in the same job at home.

    But their migrant status makes it much harder for them to seek justice
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    Even before the pandemic, unions and lawyers like Kochery say, the system for dealing with such
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    Now, they say, there is a desperate need for an overhaul to
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    The number of wage theft cases reported from Gulf countries rose more than three-fold between April and July compared with the same period last year,
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    MONEY MATTERS

    Bhoomaiah Motapalkula, 38, who worked as an office messenger,
    had not been paid his full salary since April 2019 when he had to return to India.

    Now home, he is talking to lawyers about getting the AED25,000 ($6,800) he says his employer in Dubai owes him.

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    Thomson Reuters Foundation. “I came home with nothing.”

    In Bangladesh, returning migrants have on an average lost about
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    The charity, which based its figures on interviews with about 50 migrants, found most of the losses were unpaid wages.

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    “Workers that have been affected by the crisis and have lost their employment are leaving without payment of those contractual end of year benefits,” he said.

    “If you’ve been working in the Gulf for say 15 years, that’s a substantial sum.”

    SEEKING JUSTICE

    S. Irudaya Rajan, a professor with the Centre
    for Development Studies, estimates up to 1 million South Asian migrant
    workers have headed home since April and expects many
    more will do so in the coming months as job losses mount.

    In 2017 the Gulf region was home to 23 million migrant workers, most of them Asians,
    according to the ILO.

    A petition filed in an Indian court by Lawyers Beyond Borders, a
    network of legal experts, said employers were taking advantage of mass repatriation programs
    to repatriate workers who had not been paid their dues.

    They sought legal remedy from the Indian government
    for all workers, asking for the claims and
    grievances of all repatriated Indian migrants to be documented.

    India said there were existing mechanisms to help migrants,
    including online complaint portals and legal aid at embassies, and on Monday the court asked workers to make use of these, calling for
    proper documentation and follow-up of complaints.

    But Kochery believes individual workers cannot fight alone.
    Instead, cases “have to be taken up collectively because workers have just one year to file these cases,” he
    said, citing labour laws that give workers up to 12 months.

    The Qatar government said its Wage Protection System obliges employers
    to pay all outstanding dues to employees who have left and are
    unable to return during the pandemic.

    Workers who have left the country can submit and follow up complaints electronically on the labour ministry’s
    website, it said in a statement, adding the ministry had resolved 91% of complaints lodged between March and August.

    Companies that violate the Wage Protection System face
    penalties including one month imprisonment,
    up to QAR 6,000($1,648) in fines, and a ban on issuing new work permits.

    Neither Oman nor the United Arab Emirates responded
    to requests for comment.

    The Saudi government said workers can log violations
    through its online dispute settlement platform or, if that
    fails, take their case to a labour court.

    But it said foreign workers who have left the country must
    assign a Saudi citizen or resident to follow up on the case on their behalf.

    Other Gulf countries also require departed workers to assign power of attorney to a local resident,
    something unions and labour rights lawyers say is expensive and leaves
    those unable to do so with no recourse to justice.

    ‘NOT FIT FOR PURPOSE’

    Many labour rights campaigners see the current crisis as an opportunity to rework what they say is a system loaded against migrants.

    “For years we have been fighting for work contracts to include a clause that gives default power of attorney to embassies to file complaints on the behalf of workers,”
    Kochery said.

    “Now is the time to set things right, use community welfare funds better and protect migrant workers who don’t know how to access grievance redressal mechanisms. Everyone needs to step up to the crisis because thousands of families depend on it.”

    That view is echoed by Isobel Archer, Gulf project officer of the Business & Human Rights Resource Centre.

    She said companies should take action to allow
    repatriated workers to file and follow up on claims of unpaid dues from abroad and access documents in their home languages.

    “Workers don’t have any leverage when the labour system itself is not fit for purpose,” she said,
    adding that companies should not need states to intervene to
    ensure their workers have access to justice.

    “We are talking about large multinationals with the resources… to help migrant workers access the things they are entitled to,”
    she said.

    With their chances of returning to work low, many migrants desperately need those lost earnings.

    The World Bank forecasts remittances to South Asia will decline by 22% to
    $109 billion in 2020, hit by the global economic slowdown and oil price declines.

    Motapalkula returned to India in March and is already feeling the pinch.

    “My savings are running out and I have no job here,” he said.

    “I am trying, but it is becoming very hard for me and my family to survive. I want my wages back, I worked very hard to earn them.” ($1 = 84.8000 taka)
    ($1 = 3.6728 UAE dirham) (Writing by Anuradha Nagaraj @AnuraNagaraj;
    Editing by Claire Cozens. Please credit the Thomson Reuters Foundation, the charitable arm of Thomson Reuters, that covers the lives of people around the world who struggle to live freely or fairly.
    Visit website Asian migrant workers seek justice as wage theft worsens…

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    The TV presenter, 42, shared a clip of her polishing up on her
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    Share

    The former Hear’Say popstar was bundled up from the cold wearing a dark green hoodie and black tracksuit bottoms as she
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    Spinning around: Myleene’s daughter Hero was lifted into the air during an impressive manoeuvre by skating professional Lukasz Rozycki,
    Myleene’s dancing partner in the series

    Myleene could be heard groaning and saying ’oh stop’ in the background as both the skating professional and her daughters show off their
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    Taking to Instagram Stories, she wrote: ‘Lukasz is the best at keeping the kids entertained.’

    Myleene has previously revealed her daughter’s love for ice skating, saying she is normally the one that
    holds the coats when she takes her daughter’s dancing.

    Announcing that she would be joining Dancing On Ice in September, she said that she
    wanted to make Hero and Ava ‘proud’ on the show.

    She told her fans: ‘Guess who won’t be holding the coats at the side of the
    rink anymore! I am so, SO excited to be joining the cast of Dancing On Ice. 

    ‘My girls have always wanted me to do this but I’ve always been too scared someone
    will skate over my fingers!

    ‘Anyway, I want to make them proud and show them I’m up for a challenge when completely out of my comfort zone but most of all, I want a bum
    like Jlo!’

    Earlier this week, the smooth FM host admitted she was feeling ‘dishevelled’ and ‘had the fear’ because some of her competitors were more advanced than she was.

    Myleene urged her followers not to ‘put their money’ on her, as
    she practiced her skating skills ahead of the show’s launch early
    next year.

    Speaking to the camera on her Instagram Stories, Myleene said: ‘Okay I’m all dishevelled I’ve just come off the ice.

    ‘Oh man, I’ve got the fear today! I don’t normally get
    this cos I really think paddle your own canoe, don’t worry what anyone
    else is doing. 

    Dancing: The smooth FM host admitted she was
    feeling ‘dishevelled’ and ‘had the fear’ because some of her
    competitors were more advanced than she was

    ‘But I found out that while I’m trying to learn to stand people are practicing jumps, only me and Denise [Van Outen] are starting from scratch.
    They’ve been skating since they were kids.’

    It was revealed recently that Denise will be skating with Matt Evers, after he surprised her during
    a performance of her show Proud Cabaret to share the news. 

    Offering an explanation for her wobble, Myleene added: ’Anyway I’ve just got the fear today.
    I think I’m tired because the baby was up all night feeding.’

    She went on to give her fans a tip on who they should be backing in the competition, saying:
    ‘Don’t put your money on me… put it on Colin Jackson.’ 

    Myleene shares her two daughters with her ex-husband
    Graham Quinn, who she separated from in 2013.

    Family: Myleene recently got engaged to Simon Motson, the father of her son Apollo.
    She also shares two daughters Hero, nine, and Ava, 13, (all above) with her ex-husband Graham Quinn

    Her exciting skating challenge comes soon after she revealed he had got engaged to
    the father of her one-year-old son Apollo, Simon Motson.

    The TV star was astounded when her partner of five years popped the question with a nine-carat diamond ring on the fifth anniversary of their first date. 

    Dancing On Ice will return to ITV in the new year and see
    twelve celebrities skate live with their professional partners each week.

    The duos will try to impress both the panel and the viewers, who will ultimately decide who
    is crowned the winner of the show. 

    On joining the show, Myleene said: ‘I have a 13-year-old daughter and a nine-year-old daughter who are obsessed with
    ice skating.

    In the same boat: Myleene revealed she and Denise Van Outen (above) are the only two celebrities who are starting skating completely from scratch in the upcoming show

    ‘They both ice skate and I stand there and I hold the coats.
    That’s my role – to tie the shoelaces and hold the coats.
    Now it’s my turn to learn and I can’t wait!”  

    Other stars already confirmed for the show include Billie Faiers, Faye Brookes, and Jason Donovan.

    Musician Lady Leshurr, British Olympians Colin Jackson and
    Graham Bell, and radio host Sonny Jay have also all been announced for the upcoming season.

    Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby once again return to present the show and the expert panel of Torvill and Dean, John Barrowman and
    Ashley Banjo will all resume their roles as judges.

    Covid-19Dancing On Ice

  35. rome789 says:

    Lewis Hamilton drove like a man possessed to win the Hungarian Grand
    Prix – taking advantage of a ludicrously improbable strategy call by his
    inspired Mercedes team.

    There he was three laps from the end of a pulsating race passing Verstappen,
    who had driven so gallantly, so faultlessly, so tenaciously, so
    calmly. But the Mercedes of Hamilton overtook him – Verstappen’s tyres were shot, Hamilton’s newer.

    Hamilton, therefore, extended his lead in the championship to 62 points going into
    the summer break. It was his record-extending seventh win at the Hungaroring.

    Lewis Hamilton celebrates on the podium alongside second
    placed Max Verstappen and third placed Sebastian Vettel 

    Hamilton celebrates winning the Hungarian Grand
    Prix on top of his Mercedes car 

    World Championship leader Hamilton trailed in second for most of the race but took the chequered flag 

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    At the midway point of the race it had if looked as if Hamilton, who had started third but wriggled up to second in the opening corners
    of the race, might overhaul Verstappen there and then as he made excellent use of
    his then new tyres.

    From six seconds back, he was suddenly on Verstappen’s tail.

    The world champion tried to make his move stick but ran just wide at Turn 4.

    He was harrying Verstappen, who did not once budge. Mercedes then gambled.
    They brought Hamilton in again, leaving him to close a 20sec deficit to Verstappen in as many
    laps. The belief was that on fresher rubber, and as the fastest man out there, he could do it. 

    Max Verstappen (near) took pole and led for 67 laps but couldn’t hold off Hamilton at the end 

     Verstappen (far left) is under pressure on turn one of lap one from
    Mercedes duo Hamilton and Valtteri Bottas

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