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How Not To Be Dependant On One Woman

August 29, 2005 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

n3rv1 has one hell of a post over on mASF about something he calls "Dependancy."  We all know how sometimes a guy can get hung up on that "one special girl," and when that happens, he ignores all other possibilities with women only to eventually find out that the girl of his desire just wants to be "friends."  Well, n3rv1 offers a solution to that predicament…

n3rv1 writes:
Variation.

I’m not a drug councelor or anywhere near an expert on the issue, so what I mean by "dependency" is a subtle kind of mental weakness that keeps a guy from doing things out of the ordinary, like, say, having sex with different women.

As I see it, dependency keeps a guy in his comfort zone. This is a big issue. He learns to depend on circumstances being familiar. His system can’t cope unless he is "in his element," so to speak. This inability to cope with new situations will, over time, translate into an unwillingness to ACT outside of the boundaries of what’s known and predictable.

This unwillingness to act is what I mean by "dependency."

The best cure for this is VARIATION in all senses of the meaning.

Mix it up. Keep things fresh. Engage everything. These words are purposely ambiguous.

Hovering over insignifcant details shouldn’t be allowed. Sticking to one train of thought for too long should become UNCOMFORTABLE. "New" things should no longer be seen as
"new," but "natural."

I seriously think this issue and explanation is multi-applicable. I think it has to do with PU, sexual activity, probably even drug/substance use, feelings of motivation, happiness, and a whole lot of other shit that I can’t explain.

Personal, REAL LIFE examples of how I try to keep things in variation include, but are in no way limited to:

Physical Activities: Obviously sex, lifting weights, playing frisbee golf, swimming, canoeing, hiking, camping, biking, fishing, cooking outdoors, playing drums, painting, working two part-time jobs instead of one full-time job, walking as transportation, doing weird shit, etc.

Mental Activities: #1 MOST IMPORTANT: TALKING TO STRANGERS (there’s no better mental exercise for me than having quick connections with random people — it’s a dual exercise in wit and empathy, it’s not PU, it’s nothing that takes EFFORT, it’s just an overall openness and compassion for other human beings), listening to as wide a variety of music as possible, reading (philosophy, art, comparative mythology, great literary works, science magazines, psychology, PU, current affairs, history, comic books, etc) writing(***PU JOURNAL*** –> key item: keeping track of approaches and random interactions I’ve had throughout the day keeps positive experiences in my conscious sphere, making it easier for me to project positive friendly-guy vibes}, interesting-event journal, dream journal, keeping track of upcoming events, creative writing, mASF, written correspondence, chat, random thoughts jotted down on post-it notes, etc), watching movies and TV (which I don’t get enough of — with no cable access and a budget too tight for rentals or high-speed internet I’m kind of out of touch with pop culture)

The main point I’m trying to make is that it is possible to INGRAIN VARIETY into your behavior and lifestyle, not in a drastic, earth-shattering way, but in MANY realistic, subtle, yet impactful ways.

I wholeheartedly agree with n3rv1′s assessment here.  It’s really foolish to latch on to just ONE woman (at least until you’re married or in a relationship).  You have to keep your options open and meet lots of women.  This little tactic will really help you from getting your heart broken.

Get Your Free Guide Here!

Comments

7,690 Responses to “How Not To Be Dependant On One Woman”
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  10. jinda55 says:

    GABORONE, Nov 19 (Reuters) – India’s Jindal Steel & Power Limited (JSPL)
    will start building a coal mine in Botswana’s southeastern Mmamabula coalfields in 2022, aiming to supply the export market
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    year.

    “Work will start next year and develop in phases over two to three years. Regional demand is increasing and the South African market has appetite for Botswana coal,”
    Jindal Botswana country head Neeraj Saxena told Reuters.

    Despite the global shift from coal, Botswana is pushing ahead with developing its estimated 212 billion tonnes of coal resources.
    In April, it shortlisted Jindal, Minergy Ltd , African Energy Resources Ltd and Maatla Resources in a tender to
    build a 300 MW coal-fired power plant.

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    The bidding for the 300MW power plant tender is down to
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    Minergy, which owns the country’s only operating privately-owned coal mine, has also said it will go ahead with the bid.

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    only currently planned fossil fuel based power project.

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    Barbara Lewis)

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    Whatever she is smoking, it is certainly making her very relaxed about her appearance.

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    Miley – who split up with Patrick Schwarzenegger last month –
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    Armpit hair, don’t care! Miley Cyrus continues to go unshaven as she
    smokes suspicious roll up in latest Instagram snap on Thursday

    The snap comes after the star posted a topless shot on Wednesday, before showing off her somewhat
    unusual wig collection in several sultry shots.

    The singer appeared to be wearing just a purple hairpiece in the
    sexy shot, while pouting seductively into the camera. 

    The snap, uploaded early Wednesday morning, was simply captioned:
    ‘B free n every way’.

    The We Can’t Stop hitmaker followed up with two further shots of her wearing
    colourful wigs, one in yellow and one in orange, asking her fans ‘What’s yo
    flava??? Tell me whatzzzz yo flava???(sic)’

    Miley has been sharing her party lifestyle- and
    wig collection – with her fans in the past week, posting several snap of her
    antics. 

    Looking for reactions: Miley Cyrus uploaded
    a seemingly topless snap on Wednesday, captioned ’B free n every way’

    For the fans: Miley posted two snaps of
    her wearing colourful wigs, asking her fans ‘What’s yo flava???
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    Wild child: Miley Cyrus flashed her chest as she ripped open her white jumpsuit during a late night photo shoot on Saturday 

    In a photograph uploaded on Saturday night, the pop star exposed
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    She had photoshopped a pig mask onto her face as well as a pair
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    Miley donned a bright yellow wig, while giant blow-up flamingos and a plume
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    That day, the wild child also shared a snap surrounded by
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    She wrote: ‘LOVE LOVE LOVE #pigpig #maryjane #bean#emu #happy’. 

    Showing off: Miley went for a risque look at
    the Adult Swim upfront party in NYC  May 13

    InstagramMiley Cyrus

  17. waspbet says:

    Bet365 uses a simple Yes/No questionnaire in seeking to identify problem gamblers – but campaigners warned that addicts can easily lie their way through it.

    Players who hit certain triggers, such as excessive lengths of time spent gambling, are called up
    and asked eight questions.

    They include: ‘Do you gamble to escape a boring or unhappy life?’, ‘Do you feel
    depressed or even suicidal because of your gambling?’, ‘Have you lost
    interest in your family, friends or hobbies because of your gambling?’ and ‘After
    losing do you feel you must try and win back your
    losses as soon as possible?’

    The Bet365 training officer said the minimum time-playing threshold used to be six out of seven days of playing for more
    than eight hours, but that the limit ‘changes all the time’. The biggest trigger is
    time spent playing, the Mail’s reporter was told during our investigation

    If punters reply yes to any of the questions, trainee staff were told their accounts are suspended.
    But if they say no, their accounts remain active and
    they are allowed to carry on playing.

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    The biggest trigger is time spent playing, the Mail’s reporter
    was told during our investigation.

    Pictured: One of Bet365′s live casino games available on their website. .
    A login account is required to play these games. If punters reply yes to any
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    The Bet365 training officer said the minimum time-playing threshold used
    to be six out of seven days of playing for
    more than eight hours, but that the limit ‘changes all the
    time’. 

    Bet365′s Gibraltar headquarters is pictured above. The company uses a simple Yes/No questionnaire in seeking to identify problem gamblers – but campaigners warned that addicts can easily lie their way through it
    [File photo]

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    test, the trainer said: ‘There aren’t.’

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    to identify problem gamblers. 

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    or when their account is suspended for any responsible gambling concern.

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    They could easily lie their way through the test. If a time-playing threshold
    is eight hours on six out of seven days then that
    is too high. People could spend half that time playing and still have a serious problem.’

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  21. Luckatron says:

    The technology trends that will transform our world this year

    Published: 22:00 GMT, 5 January 2013 | Updated: 08:30 GMT, 8 February 2013

    View
    comments

    This Christmas, tablet computers went mainstream.

    No more are they an easy way to spot spoilt teenagers, preening early adopters and desperate parents who would pay
    ANYTHING for a gadget that could silence their squalling brood with tranquillising doses of Spongebob
    and Angry Birds Star Wars.

    In fact, it’s predicted that 7in tablets will account for one-third
    of the tablet market this year, as sub-£200 machines tempt non-nerds into the exciting new techno-wonderland
    of looking up things on the internet while watching
    TV.

    Apple’s iPad Mini is expected to rule the roost, despite Google and Amazon nipping at its heels

    Apple’s iPad Mini is expected to rule the roost, despite Google and Amazon nipping at its heels, and
    - please stop reading if you got one this Christmas – an updated
    model with a sharper Retina screen could
    well arrive as soon as this spring…

    So what other techno tricks does 2013 have in store for us?
    Here are four trends to look out for.

    OUR HOMES WILL BE APP-CONTROLLED

    Nest’s app-controlled thermostat will bring app control to heating

    Sadly, this year will not see the arrival of camp
    robots who shimmer through our home with Martinis…
    but the ‘home of the future’ will be a step closer, as lighting, door
    locks and heating are controlled by apps.

    Nest’s app-controlled thermostat – designed by one of the creators of the iPod – will bring
    app control to heating, while lighting will be controlled by Philips and Belkin systems.

    Lockitron will let us all lock and open our front doors
    with the click of an app…

    WE ALL STOP TEXTING

    Apps offer cheaper, more flexible ways to stay in touch

    Texting has permanently altered the English language over the past 20 years, dictating the 140-character length of
    Twitter messages, and making even sane adults fluent in gibberish.

    But the rise of apps such as WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger will see the SMS message begin a slow process of dying off next year,
    as apps offer cheaper, more flexible ways to stay in touch.

    OUR PHONES WILL BE INDESTRUCTIBLE

    Good news for everyone bar those in the phone-insurance industry – our phones could become indestructible this year.

    Samsung has repeatedly dangled the idea of flexible
    phone screens, and is widely expected to show off models at tech
    expo CES this week.

    Good news for everyone bar those in the phone-insurance industry – our phones could become indestructible this year

    The point is not that you can bend your phone like
    a Highland Toffee bar, but that the phone’s screen won’t shatter.

    An end to people talking on phones with spider-webs of broken glass on screen?
    We can but hope.

    WE ALL STOP BUYING MUSIC AND FILMS

    Cheap, subscription-based services will start to bite into pay-per-download services

    This year will mark the moment I have to stop explaining what Spotify is every time I mention it
    in public – or at least, I fervently hope so, as
    I tend to bore people about it at every opportunity.

    Cheap, subscription-based services such as Spotify (you pay £10 a month, get 17 million songs to access wherever you are) and Netflix
    (£6 a month, and you’ll never need to buy a DVD again),
    will start to bite into pay-per-download services.

    And slowly but surely, the idea of actually owning music
    and films will begin to seem a rather quaint, 20th-century idea.

  22. naza24 says:

    This is the spectacular moment two surfers fight against a flurry of
    gigantic waves in a battle to keep their heads above water.

    Incredible drone footage shows professional big wave surfer Alex Botelho, 27,
    paddling into a huge wave in Praia do Norte beach, near the fishing village of Nazare,
    in Portugal. 

    As the daredevil attempts to drop the wave, he is wiped out by the sheer
    force of the water and is sent crashing off his board.

    RELATED ARTICLES

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    Fellow surfer Hugo Vau, 40, rides a jetski to try rescue his friend,
    but by the time Botelho reaches the surface of the
    water a giant wave comes crashing down on him once again.   

    After the two waves, Hugo Vau is finally able to rescue Botelho
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    Alex Botelho, 27, was wiped out by a massive wave at Praia do
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    Fellow surfer Hugo Vau, 40, rides a jetski to try rescue
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    But knowing he won’t reach the vehicle on time he dives deep underwater
    in what might’ve been a lifesaving decision. 

    The next wave breaks directly on top of the jetski and he probably wouldn’t have
    survived the impact.

    Both surfers eventually swam to shore and suffered no injuries,
    with the jetski fully intact.

    The pair battle against the sea as they clamber to get back on the jetski 

    Praia do Norte is renowned for its powerful and dangerous waves and
    attracts surfers from around the world – and it is where the largest wave ever surfed was recorded

    The incident took place on February 16, during one of the last substantial Big Wave sessions of the winter.

    Praia do Norte is renowned for its powerful and dangerous waves and attracts surfers from around the world.

    In 2011 Hawaiian surfer Garrett McNamara set a world record there for the largest
    wave ever surfed, at 78ft.

    The shallows seen here are considered the most dangerous spot on the beach.  

    Pedro Miranda, who caught it all on film, said: ‘Waves can be unpredictable
    and terribly thick, the foamy white water makes it very difficult to manoeuvre
    the jet skis, and that’s where most accidents happen.’

    Both Vau and Botelho are no strangers to Nazaré and are among the most skilled
    watermen in the world with many years of experience in Praia do Norte.

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  24. nagaway says:

    Film screenings spur Indian electronics workers to scrutinise
    labour rights
    By REUTERS

    Published: 02:00 GMT, 16 June 2016 | Updated: 02:00 GMT,
    16 June 2016

    e-mail

    By Anuradha Nagaraj

    CHENNAI, India, June 16 (Thomson Reuters Foundation) – It’s a
    matinee show and the film is not a blockbuster, but the small audience sitting on plastic chairs in a community centre in India’s Tamil Nadu state are
    watching nevertheless.

    Staring at the flickering screen are men and women in their early
    20s, who work six to eight-hour shifts, six days a week, for various electronic companies in Sriperambadur,
    an industrial hub near the port city of Chennai.

    Most Sundays they forgo a bit of extra sleep to watch in this tiny room, the struggle of thousands of workers who
    suddenly lose their jobs or become exploited by ruthless bosses.

    “It’s not something I thought could happen. If I was in that situation, I really wouldn’t know what to do,”
    said V Kumaresan, an engineering graduate
    who has just joined the workforce.

    For the past month, workers’ rights group Cividep India has
    been screening films about labour issues on the wall of
    the centre in an effort to encourage electronics and IT workers to meet and discuss labour
    laws, workplace abuse and exploitation.

    More than 4.3 million people are employed
    in India’s electronics and IT hardware sector with roles in manufacturing, sales and marketing, repairs and maintenance of mobile phone components and accessories.

    The bulk of the workforce in the electronics industry works on factory assembly lines, making chips for mobiles, assembling smartphones, checking and packing finished products.

    With the sector attracting young workers, many of them straight out of high school,
    there is a danger that abuses go unreported because of a lack of knowledge about their
    rights, campaigners said.

    “The need for workers to stay connected with each other and clearly understand labour laws that impact them was felt after the Nokia crisis, where thousands lost their jobs overnight after the company shut shop,” said Jasoon Chelat from Cividep India.

    She said most companies operating in Tamil Nadu discouraged freedom of association. “The worker is often isolated and unaware,” Chelat told the Thomson Reuters Foundation.

    EYE OPENING

    The documentary screened last Sunday, “Disconnecting People”, was made by a trade
    union after Finnish firm Nokia closed down its Sriperambadur factory in 2014 – one of its biggest mobile
    phone assembly plants globally.

    The film featured the aspirations of young job seekers and their fascination with working
    in a big company. It also captured their heartbreak and helplessness at
    being let go.

    “They (workers) are all equally vulnerable, being part of global supply chains. The precariousness of jobs and exhausting working conditions are seen in these sectors,” research scholar
    Madhumita Dutta, who speaks on behalf of the workers in the
    film.

    Cividep said it planned to screen a range of labour rights documentaries as part of its initiative to highlight the
    conditions of workers across the globe.

    “I didn’t know that providing food to employees or dropping them back after work was mandated by labour laws,”
    said R. Sasikala, who works on an assembly line for 5,000 rupees
    ($74) a month.

    “I just thought the company was being nice and it was compensation for my low salary. This film was an eye opener,”
    she said after the screening. ($1 = 67.1760 Indian rupees) (Reporting by
    Anuradha Nagaraj, Editing by Katie Nguyen.; Please credit the Thomson Reuters Foundation, the charitable arm of Thomson Reuters,
    that covers humanitarian news, women’s rights, trafficking and climate change.
    Visit website screenings spur Indian electronics workers to scrutinise labou…

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