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How Not To Be Dependant On One Woman

August 29, 2005 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

n3rv1 has one hell of a post over on mASF about something he calls "Dependancy."  We all know how sometimes a guy can get hung up on that "one special girl," and when that happens, he ignores all other possibilities with women only to eventually find out that the girl of his desire just wants to be "friends."  Well, n3rv1 offers a solution to that predicament…

n3rv1 writes:
Variation.

I’m not a drug councelor or anywhere near an expert on the issue, so what I mean by "dependency" is a subtle kind of mental weakness that keeps a guy from doing things out of the ordinary, like, say, having sex with different women.

As I see it, dependency keeps a guy in his comfort zone. This is a big issue. He learns to depend on circumstances being familiar. His system can’t cope unless he is "in his element," so to speak. This inability to cope with new situations will, over time, translate into an unwillingness to ACT outside of the boundaries of what’s known and predictable.

This unwillingness to act is what I mean by "dependency."

The best cure for this is VARIATION in all senses of the meaning.

Mix it up. Keep things fresh. Engage everything. These words are purposely ambiguous.

Hovering over insignifcant details shouldn’t be allowed. Sticking to one train of thought for too long should become UNCOMFORTABLE. "New" things should no longer be seen as
"new," but "natural."

I seriously think this issue and explanation is multi-applicable. I think it has to do with PU, sexual activity, probably even drug/substance use, feelings of motivation, happiness, and a whole lot of other shit that I can’t explain.

Personal, REAL LIFE examples of how I try to keep things in variation include, but are in no way limited to:

Physical Activities: Obviously sex, lifting weights, playing frisbee golf, swimming, canoeing, hiking, camping, biking, fishing, cooking outdoors, playing drums, painting, working two part-time jobs instead of one full-time job, walking as transportation, doing weird shit, etc.

Mental Activities: #1 MOST IMPORTANT: TALKING TO STRANGERS (there’s no better mental exercise for me than having quick connections with random people — it’s a dual exercise in wit and empathy, it’s not PU, it’s nothing that takes EFFORT, it’s just an overall openness and compassion for other human beings), listening to as wide a variety of music as possible, reading (philosophy, art, comparative mythology, great literary works, science magazines, psychology, PU, current affairs, history, comic books, etc) writing(***PU JOURNAL*** –> key item: keeping track of approaches and random interactions I’ve had throughout the day keeps positive experiences in my conscious sphere, making it easier for me to project positive friendly-guy vibes}, interesting-event journal, dream journal, keeping track of upcoming events, creative writing, mASF, written correspondence, chat, random thoughts jotted down on post-it notes, etc), watching movies and TV (which I don’t get enough of — with no cable access and a budget too tight for rentals or high-speed internet I’m kind of out of touch with pop culture)

The main point I’m trying to make is that it is possible to INGRAIN VARIETY into your behavior and lifestyle, not in a drastic, earth-shattering way, but in MANY realistic, subtle, yet impactful ways.

I wholeheartedly agree with n3rv1′s assessment here.  It’s really foolish to latch on to just ONE woman (at least until you’re married or in a relationship).  You have to keep your options open and meet lots of women.  This little tactic will really help you from getting your heart broken.

Get Your Free Guide Here!

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    Đá Gà Online – Hình Thức Giải Trí Mới Mẻ

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    As the planet passes that star, Copernicus, scientists have recorded small eclipses and halos of Copernicus’s own starlight as that light skims through 55 Cancri e’s hellish atmosphere toward Earth.

    A new theory of 55 Cancri e’s evaporating and regenerating atmosphere, published this September,
    was developed after revisiting the records of those eclipses.

    The researcher’s new prediction: ‘a thin, transient, secondary atmosphere’
    on 55 Cancri e, one that is belched out constantly
    by its ever-present volcanic activity.

    The planet’s strange infrared heat and visible light signals are
    suspected to be the result of an imbalance in 55 Cancri e’s atmosphere, which the JWST will help provide answers to

    Scientists have revealed that this super-large planet is
    a turbulent, volcanic mass of rock that can complete an orbit around its host star in just 17 hours

    After 55 Cancri e was discovered in 2004, scientists determined that
    it was likely to have volcanoes, flowing lava and high-speed winds
    carrying storms of ‘raining’ rock.

    Even on its cooler night side, temperatures on 55 Cancri e
    hover at the blistering heat of molten rock, about 2,060 F. 

    The planet is ’likely so hot,’ according to Lily Zhao of the Flatiron Institute’s Center for Computational Astrophysics
    in New York, ‘that nothing we’re aware of would be able to survive on the surface.’

    The new study used visible and infrared light collected from
    three separate space-based telescopes to model the gaseous make-up
    of this seemingly ever-changing atmosphere surrounding 55
    Cancri e.

    In essence, the hell planet’s volcanoes are believed to regularly gush out hot gas, a process naturally called
    ‘outgassing,’ engulfing the whole planet in new layers of atmosphere. 

    But soon after, like clockwork, its sun’s harsh radiation and solar winds strip 55 Cancri e of much of its extremely hot, new atmosphere.

    But according to the new study’s author, astrophysicist
    Kevin Heng of Ludwig Maximilian University in Germany, this churn of new atmosphere does not ever leave the planet entirely ‘bald rock,’
    as past theories suggest.  

    ‘Despite this variability,’ Heng wrote, ‘its transit depth [the area of eclipsing planet to its eclipsed star] remains somewhat constant in time and is inconsistent with opaque material.’ 

    In other words, even at its most ‘bald’ some atmosphere appears to remain, but only
    in visible via an infrared heat signature. 

    Heng detected evidence from three orbital telescopes, including the Spitzer Space Telescope and the CHEOPS space telescope,
    to suggest the possibility of a thin, ever-replenishing ‘secondary atmosphere.’

    ‘As the outgassed atmosphere escapes and is replenished,’ Heng wrote, ‘it rapidly adjusts to
    radiative equilibrium and the temperature fluctuations cause the infrared eclipse
    depths to vary.’ 

    Heng’s research — which has been accepted by the journal Astrophysical Journal
    Letters, but not yet peer reviewed — tested for the presence of various possible gases in 55
    Cancri e’s atmosphere to help confirm his hypothesis. 

    He found that carbon monoxide and carbon dioxide were more
    likely than methane. 

    ‘Atmospheres of pure methane are ruled out because they produce insufficient Rayleigh scattering,’ Heng
    wrote.

    Rayleigh scattering is the time-tested rules for how an atmosphere bends, dampens and generally
    reacts with light, named after the 19th-century British physicist Lord Rayleigh, who first formulated the principle.

    According to past theories about the veritable hell world, when there is no blanket of
    gas surrounding 55 Cancri e, the planet only emits Infrared light. 

    Those scientists had previously predicted that
    when the atmosphere is present, then both the fluctuating visible
    light and infrared light would contribute to the
    transmitted signal.

    But Heng’s theory focused on the infrared light evidence to explore ‘a proof of concept’ mathematical model by which
    some thin, amount of atmosphere might always remain.

    Astrophysicists, Heng included, are hoping that NASA’s JWST
    can help them even more closely measure the changes in infrared and visible
    light coming off the ‘hell planet’ as it passes between Copernicus at the center of its solar system and telescopes here,
    closer to Earth. 

    The ‘hell planet’ is so close to its host star that it completes each new orbit in less than 20 hours,
    which may also contribute its unstable environment,
    but also means many transits and many eclipses from which to collect data.

    ‘Upcoming observations by the James Webb Space Telescope,’ Heng wrote in his new paper, ‘will
    potentially allow the atmospheric temperature and surface pressure, as well as the surface temperature, to be measured.’

    EarthJames Webb Space TelescopeNew York

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  27. waspbet says:

    Bet365 uses a simple Yes/No questionnaire in seeking to identify
    problem gamblers – but campaigners warned that addicts can easily lie their way through it.

    Players who hit certain triggers, such as excessive lengths of time spent gambling,
    are called up and asked eight questions.

    They include: ‘Do you gamble to escape a boring
    or unhappy life?’, ‘Do you feel depressed or even suicidal because of your gambling?’, ‘Have you lost interest in your family, friends or hobbies because
    of your gambling?’ and ‘After losing do you feel you must try and win back your losses as soon as possible?’

    The Bet365 training officer said the minimum time-playing threshold used to be six
    out of seven days of playing for more than eight hours, but that the limit ‘changes all the time’. The biggest trigger is time spent playing, the Mail’s reporter was told during our investigation

    If punters reply yes to any of the questions,
    trainee staff were told their accounts are suspended.
    But if they say no, their accounts remain active and they are allowed to
    carry on playing.

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    The biggest trigger is time spent playing, the Mail’s reporter was told
    during our investigation.

    Pictured: One of Bet365′s live casino games available on their website. .
    A login account is required to play these games. If punters reply yes to any of
    the questions, trainee staff were told their accounts are
    suspended

    The Bet365 training officer said the minimum time-playing threshold
    used to be six out of seven days of playing for more than eight hours, but that the limit ‘changes all the time’. 

    Bet365′s Gibraltar headquarters is pictured above.
    The company uses a simple Yes/No questionnaire in seeking to identify problem gamblers
    - but campaigners warned that addicts can easily lie their way through it [File photo]

    Asked by the Mail’s reporter what measures were in place to prevent customers lying through the simple test, the
    trainer said: ‘There aren’t.’

    She then agreed with another trainee when she said: ‘We’ve done our job to check them.’

    Length of time spent playing is not the only trigger used to
    identify problem gamblers. 

    Other triggers include when a customer changes a deposit limit, when they return from self-exclusion, or when their account is suspended for any responsible gambling concern.

    Matt Zarb-Cousin, of the Campaign for Fairer Gambling, said: ‘It’s
    an inadequate test. Gambling addicts lie and they delude themselves,
    it’s all part of the problem. They could easily lie
    their way through the test. If a time-playing threshold is eight
    hours on six out of seven days then that is too high.
    People could spend half that time playing and still have a serious problem.’

  28. miami1688 says:

    There are many reasons to visit New York, but here’s one of the most irresistible
    - a bar called Dante.

    This Greenwich Village Italian-style aperitivo bar has just claimed the Perrier-sponsored World’s Best Bar
    Award, jumping eight places from 2018, MailOnline Travel can exclusively reveal.

    The gong was handed out at London’s Roundhouse tonight as part of The World’s
    50 Best Bars 2019 awards, which was dominated by the UK, with 10 bars in the prestigious ranking,
    and the USA, with seven – six in New York and one in San Francisco.

    Dante, pictured, has just claimed the Perrier-sponsored World’s Best Bar Award, jumping eight places from 2018

    The awards organisers said: ‘Dante [pictured] serves superb coffee and
    cocktails, as well as high-quality food, becoming an international drinks destination at
    the same time as retaining a buzzing neighbourhood bar vibe’ 

    Dante is owned by two Australians, Nathalie Hudson and Linden Pride, with creative direction by
    another Aussie, Naren Young. Here’s the team at the Roundhouse with their
    winners award. Pictured left to right: A Perrier representative;
    Naren Young, Dante’s Creative Director; Linden Pride, Dante’s Owner; Liana Oster, Dante’s Head Bartender; Melanie Weitzner, Co-Founder Lion & Lamb Communications (Dante’s PR
    Company); Rachel Harrison, Co-Founder Lion & Lamb Communications and Rodrigo Leme,
    Dante’s Director of Business Development

    Dante is known for its excellent Negronis (left).

    And the martinis are top drawer (pictured right)

    Dante, which first opened its doors in 1915,
    is actually owned by two Australians, Nathalie Hudson and Linden Pride, with creative direction by another Aussie, Naren Young.

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    The awards organisers said: ‘Dante serves superb coffee and cocktails, as well
    as high-quality food, becoming an international drinks destination at the
    same time as retaining a buzzing neighbourhood bar vibe.’

    The No2 spot is occupied by the revered Connaught Bar, housed in the uber-swanky Connaught Hotel in London’s Mayfair district.

    The No2 spot is occupied by the revered Connaught Bar (pictured),
    housed in the uber-swanky Connaught Hotel in London’s
    Mayfair 

    The staff will drink to that: Connaught Bar (pictured) also scooped the coveted Best Bar in Europe prize

    Although it missed out on the ultimate gong, it did scoop the coveted Best Bar in Europe prize, sponsored by Michter’s.

    In third place and named The Best Bar in South America,
    sponsored by Seedlip, is Florería Atlántico in Buenos Aires, Argentina, an improvement of 11 places compared to last year.

    The fourth-place slot, meanwhile, is taken by NYC’s The NoMad and in fifth place
    is the American Bar in London’s five-star Savoy hotel.

    In third place and named The Best Bar in South America,
    is Florería Atlántico in Buenos Aires (pictured)

    Florería Atlántico climbed 11 places to claim the No3 spot.

    Pictured are two of its concoctions

    The Florería Atlántico team are all smiles – and no wonder, they run a bar with a global reputation for classy cocktails

    American Bar also takes the Legend of the List accolade, sponsored by Asahi,
    awarded to a bar that has performed most consistently in the history of the ranking.

    The other U.S bars on the list are New York’s Attaboy (No7), The Dead
    Rabbit (No22), Employees Only (No26) and Katana
    Kitten (No14) – the latter snagging the award for Best New Opening, sponsored by Thomas
    Henry. San Francisco’s Trick Dog (No42), completes the American contingent.

    The other British bars in the ranking are also in London – Three Sheets (No16), Coupette (No23), Scout (No28), Lyaness (No39), Happiness Forgets (No40), Swift (No41), Kwānt (No47) and Artesian, which takes 48th place.

    NYC’s The NoMad takes fourth place. The U.S boasts an impressive seven bars in the Top 50 ranking

    All but one of the U.S bars in the top 50 is in New York.
    San Francisco’s Trick Dog (No42) completes the American contingent.
    Pictured is a flamboyant NoMad drink

    Lyaness and Kwānt are making their debuts, while Artesian is a re-entry.

    The UK can also be proud of Monica Berg, the co-owner of innovative new London bar
    Tayēr + Elementary (No52), who has been named the Altos Bartenders’ Bartender 2019, ‘reflecting her influence as a positive and passionate voice
    for change, education and increased professionalism
    in the drinks sector’.

    Spain boasts three bars on this year’s list, including Madrid’s Salmón Gurú
    (No19), which is also the winner of the Highest Climber
    Award, sponsored by Tanqueray, having leapt an impressive 28 places
    in the ranking from last year. New entry Dr.

    Stravinsky (No25) joins fellow Barcelona bar Paradiso (No20)
    on the list.

    The American Bar (pictured) is fifth overall.
    It’s housed in the swanky Savoy hotel in London 

    The staff at American Bar pose proudly in front of
    the bar. It’s said to be one of the most historically important bars open today 

    The cocktails at the American Bar almost count as works of art.  American Bar also takes the Legend of the List accolade, awarded
    to a bar that has performed most consistently in the history of the ranking

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  37. Luckatron says:

    French President Emmanuel Macron has blamed his contraction of the Covid-19 virus on a
    combination of negligence and bad luck on Friday.

    The 42-year-old head of state urged his compatriots to stay safe in a
    self-shot video from the presidential retreat in Versailles
    where he is in self-isolation, as critics called out slip-ups in his behavior to prevent infection.

    Macron said he was experiencing symptoms that included headaches, fatigue and a dry cough and promised to give daily updates and
    be ‘totally transparent’ about the evolution of his illness. 

    French President Emmanuel Macron is seen on a screen wearing a face mask and giving the
    thumbs up to the camera after he tested for Covid-19 on Thursday and
    is now self-isolating

    ‘I am doing well,’ the 42-year-old French leader said, speaking softly and dressed casually in a turtleneck top.
    ‘Normally, there is no reason for it to evolve in a bad
    way.’

    Macron said his infection ‘shows that the virus really
    can touch everyone, because I am very protected and am very
    careful.’

    ‘Despite everything I caught this virus — perhaps, doubtless, a moment
    of negligence, a moment of bad luck, too,’ he said.

    In France, Macron’s diagnosis brought criticism that he had set a bad example as the
    country sees a new uptick in cases and instances of the French president violating the virus-control guidelines were captured on camera in recent days. 

    The 42-year-old head of state urged his compatriots to stay
    safe in a self-shot video on Friday and blamed his
    contraction of the Covid-19 virus on a combination of negligence and bad luck

    Macron usually wears a mask and adheres to social distancing rules,
    and has insisted that his virus strategy is driven by science. 

    However, critics pointed out a number of slip-ups in his behavior over the past week, including a close-quarters handshake to
    an embrace with the Prime Minister of Portugal, Antonio Costa, 59, in Paris on Wednesday and repeated big, group meals. 

    He shook hands and half-embraced the head of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development,
    Angel Gurria, 70, at a meeting Monday. 

    Both were masked, but Macron’s office acknowledged Friday the move was a ‘mistake.’ 

    A fellow European leader who spent time with Macron at an EU summit last week, Slovak Prime Minister Igor Matovic,
    tested positive for the virus Friday. 

    Ten other leaders at the EU summit have since tested negative;
    others either aren’t getting tested or haven’t released
    results.

    Macron’s diagnosis brought criticism that he had set a bad example as critics pointed out a number of slip-ups in his behavior over the past week.
    Pictured: French President Emmanuel Macron pats Spanish Prime Minister Pedro Sanchez on the back
    as he arrives for work at the palace on Monday

    Macron (second from left) meets with dignitaries for a meeting of the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development:
    European Council President Charles Michel, Secretary General
    Angel Gurria, Spanish PM Pedro Sanchez, and UNESCO general director Audrey Azoulay

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    He shook hands and half-embraced the head of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and
    Development, Angel Gurria, 70, at a meeting Monday (pictured)

    In his video message on Friday, the president suggested
    that his behavior had helped limit the spread of
    the virus.

    ‘Had I not respected the rules, the barrier measures,
    I would have caught it much faster and, most of all, I would have transmitted it in the preceding hours to many more people,’ Macron said.

    He urged people to ‘hold firm’ and look after each other
    during the festive season, warning: ‘The virus is picking up, even stronger.’ 

    Despite his diagnosis, Macron plans to continue running the country, and went ahead with a planned
    speech by video conference on Thursday. 

    He said: ‘I am working at a slightly slower pace because of the virus, but I shall continue
    to focus on high-priority issues, such as our handling of the epidemic, or, for example, the Brexit dossier.’ 

    Macron joins Britain’s PM Boris Johnson and US President
    Donald Trump in a growing list of world leaders who
    have contracted Covid-19. 

    Last week, Macron spent two days in intense negotiations
    at the EU summit in Brussels with the leaders of the other
    26 member countries. 

    PM Boris Johnson, who has been snubbed by Mr Macron on face-to-face
    Brexit talks, tweeted: ‘Sorry to hear my friend @EmmanuelMacron has tested positive for
    coronavirus. We are all wishing you a speedy recovery.’

    Macron, 42, is staying at a residence called La Lanterne (pictured) in Versailles and is suffering from fever,
    cough and fatigue, it emerged today 

    Video excerpts released by the EU showed the leaders spread out in a
    circle in a huge meeting room — Macron, and most of the other leaders,
    were not masked.

    Macron also hosted or took part in multiple large-group meals in the days before testing positive Thursday, including with members of
    his centrist party and rival politicians, while French people are currently advised to avoid gatherings
    larger than six people. 

    His office has been contacting those present for the meals, but
    told some people sitting far from the president that they were not considered at risk.

    Macron office isn’t providing details of his treatment. He
    is staying at the presidential residence of La Lanterne in the former
    royal city of Versailles, tucked in a grove tightly guarded by police.

    Macron’s positive test comes as French health
    authorities are again seeing a rise in infections and are warning of more as French families prepare to get together for Christmas and New Year festivities. 

    France reported another 18,254 new infections Thursday and its death toll
    is just under 60,000.

    France’s Pasteur Institute released a study Friday suggesting that meal times at home and
    in public are a major source of contamination. 

    Pasteur epidemiologist Arnaud Fontanet said on France-Inter radio Friday that during the holidays, ‘we can see each other, simply not be too numerous,
    and at critical moments at meals, not too many people at the same table.’ 

    France recorded more than 17,000 new cases on Wednesday and another 18,254 on Thursday – sparking
    concern as people shop and travel more ahead of the Christmas
    holidays

    France’s virus death toll is just under 60,000.
    The virus has resurfaced in France – as across the rest of
    Europe – and there are grave fears that deaths could spike in the colder winter months 

    Macron took a test ‘as soon as the first symptoms appeared’ on Thursday morning and will self-isolate
    for seven days, in line with national health authorities’ recommendations, the presidency said.  

    The French health minister suggested that
    Macron might have been infected at the EU summit in Brussels
    last week, but Macron had multiple meetings in Paris as well.

    France had Europe’s first virus case in January, but Macron’s
    government came under criticism for not having enough masks or tests and not confining the population quickly enough. 

    A strict two-month lockdown brought infections down, and France
    sent children back to school and their parents back to work.

    But infections surged again this autumn so he declared a
    new, softer lockdown in October aimed at relieving pressure on hospitals. 

    The measures were relaxed slightly this week,
    though restaurants, tourist sites, gyms and some other facilities remain closed.   

    Emmanuel MacronCovid-19

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    NEW YORK (AP) – Dominican infielder Kendry Martinez was among 17 additional players agreeing to seven-figure bonuses, a $2.5
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    Thirty-two players have agreed to bonuses of $1 million or more through two days of
    the international signing period, which opened Wednesday and runs until Dec.

    15.

    The Los Angeles Dodgers and Toronto Blue Jays, hoping to sign Roki Sasaki, were among five teams that have not finalized any contracts and kept open their entire signing bonus pool allotment, joined
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    The San Diego Padres, also wooing the Japanese pitcher, struck one deal for $10,000,
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    Eliomar Garces and Tampa Bay ($1.6 million), Dominican infielder
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    Louis ($1.4 million), Dominican outfielder Kenny Fenelon and Milwaukee ($1.3 million), Venezuelan infielder Yulian Barreto and San Francisco ($1,118,700), Dominican shortstop Juan Tomas
    and the Cubs ($1.1 million) and Dominican outfielder
    Elorky Rodriguez and Texas (1,097,500

    Players born from Sept. 1, 2007, through Aug. 31, 2008, are eligible to sign during this year´s period, which ends Dec.
    15. Teams began the week with signing bonus pools ranging from about $5.1 million to $7.6 million.

    ___

    AP MLB: website infielder Kendry Martinez agrees to
    $2.5 million deal…

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