Traits of a Seducer

Raymond, over at his blog Bulletproof Pimp, has a pretty good post up about the traits and qualities the best seducers have.

Raymond writes:
Seduction is counterintuitive.
I would not have believed that Marc scored so many women if I had not
seen the evidence with my own eyes. I would have expected his more
mature, responsible, and better-looking brother to do much better than
him. The
essential building blocks of seduction are so counterintuitive, so
contrary to what rational analysis would lead you to, that the typical
guy will never figure out seduction on his own. I believe that
some men stumble across sexual success. Other guys will implement the
handful seduction strategies that are part of the popular
consciousness: work hard, buy her flowers, get a good job, be honest,
be yourself, treat her like a lady, etc., and these strategies are
doomed to fail.

 The
strategies that lead to success with women are so crazy, so irrational,
that a guy who strikes out with women will simply redouble his efforts
with those same failed techniques. In warfare the only way to
survive an ambush is to charge into the teeth of the enemy’s fusillade.
The successful technique of charging directly into hostile fire is
contrary to a man’s instinct, and so he must be trained in order to
survive. The secrets to seducing women seem like total insanity, such
that a man on his own will never figure them out in a million years.

 The master seducer’s “liabilities” are actually his assets.
Looked at rationally, there seemed to be dozens of factors holding Marc
back from success with women, but you should realize that these
handicaps were actually the means of his success. His lack of
commitment seemed spontaneous. His dangerousness was exciting. His
don’t give a damn attitude was carefree and relaxed. His inability to
plan for the future meant that he was totally here in the now. The fact
that he had screwed dozens of women meant that he had a cocksure
brazenness to his approach.

Brawny beats skinny.
One advantage Marc had over his brother and me is that he had a solid,
muscular build. I was very thin at that age. How many times have you
seen an extremely skinny man with a morbidly obese woman? We tend to
think of this as a mismatch, but a thin man and a fat woman are the
easiest and most natural pairing. A fat woman is the least attractive
woman, just as the skinny man is the least attractive man. In the Jack
Sprat and wife coupling we have two unattractive people getting the
best partner they’re capable of. Moral of the story: Hit the weights
and bulk up.

 

Hold out the possibility of getting married, but don’t be a dumbass and actually get married.
An unmarried man has everything he wants, in addition to protecting his
finances and future earnings. Women want to get their hands on your
cash and are yearning for the stability and social status that come
with marriage, so they will press for a wedding. You can either be
totally up front and ruin a good thing, or play it out as long as
possible.

Stop giving a flying F’%$@. Too many men are obsessed over outcomes.

I don’t want to ask her out because she might say no.

I don’t want to risk our friendship.

I just hope that Suzy agrees to go out with me –I’m so crazy about her I just don’t know what I’ll do if she says no.

Suzy said no! I’m so devastated; I’ve never felt so low. I guess I’m just a loser in love.

But
if some girl turned Marc down his attitude was, “Stupid cunt. Well, on
to the next one.” If she was married, or engaged, or a co-worker, or
any other imaginable supposedly insuperable obstacle, Marc’s attitude
was, “Fuck it. I’m going for it.” While I moped and agonized over my
latest rejection, Marc said “fuck it” and moved on.

Marc’s
devil-may-care attitude sucked women into his own reality, offering
them a tempting world wherein they, like he, could shed all of their
duties and obligations. Marc was fun, because nothing else
mattered, and women could shed their inhibitions with him. Women want
fun and adventure, which Marc offered in abundance, not a mature,
sensible hand-to–the-plow relationship.

 

It has been my experience that the guys who are the most illogical are the ones who seem to be naturally talented with women.  I don’t know why that is.  Maybe it’s because women are fairly illogical and that allows these natural seducers to adapt to them quicker.  But the detached "I don’t give a fuck" attitude is something at ALL seducers who are worth their salt have.  The worst thing you can do if you want to pick up a woman is get attached to her. 

Most guys fall into this trap.  They get attached to women they’re attracted to!  A good seducer will still be attracted to a woman, but he won’t place so much importance on getting her (note:  that does not me he won’t do any work to get her!  It just means that should he get rejected or it fall through, he won’t linger on it). 

I think a big reason most guys get twisted into knots when it comes to women is that they don’t know how to disassociate themselves, at least initially, from their attachment to a girl they like.  This is mostly because most guys come from such a frame of scarcity, that once they find a girl they like, they feel that they’ll never be able to find a better woman for them.