David Shade’s Manual, Vol. 1
June 9, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Interviewing for High Self-Esteem Women
By David Shade
www.davidshade.com
I specifically interview for high self-esteem women. The most comprehensive discussion on self-esteem I have seen is by Nathaniel Branden at nathanielbranden.net. He articulated it well when he wrote:
"Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; and to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite."
He defined self-esteem as "being competent to cope with the challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment, and happiness are right and natural for us. It is a consciousness to trust our self. It strives for rationality, coherence, clarity, and truth."
He defined six practices of a healthy self-esteem:
1) Living consciously: Respect for facts, open to new knowledge and feedback, and seeking to understand the world and ourselves.
2) Self-acceptance: Realism applied to self. The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning.
3) Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for life and well being and for the attainment of our goals.
4) Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
5) Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them.
6) Integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we profess to admire.
"What all these have in common is respect for reality."
What we call high self-esteem and low self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden calls self-esteem and pseudo self-esteem. He defined pseudo self-esteem as: "trying to compensate for deficiencies; a pretense at a self-confidence and self-respect; the effort to protect self-esteem with denial and evasion, which only results in a further deterioration of self-esteem."
Pseudo self-esteem can be easily identified by: "the defensiveness with which insecure people may respond when their errors are pointed out, or the extraordinary feats of avoidance and self-deception people can exhibit with regard to gross acts of non-consciousness and irresponsibility, or the foolish and pathetic ways people sometimes try to prop up their egos by the wealth or prestige of their spouse, the make of their automobile, or the fame of their dress designer, or by the exclusiveness of their golf club."
Traits of pseudo self-esteem include: delusional, ignorance, denial, evasion, betrayal of consciousness or conviction, lack of integrity, grandiosity, fantasies of superiority, conceited (exaggerated opinion of oneself,) boasting, arrogance, and the victim mentality of blaming others. What all these have in common is the lack of respect for reality. But the biggest indicator is the angry denial of low self-esteem or the denial that self-esteem is significant or desirable.
I have found the following to be true of HSE women and LSE women:
LSE women are insecure and seek validation from men.
HSE women are secure in themselves and have nothing to prove.
LSE women have a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled.
HSE women are self fulfilled.
LSE women will manipulate a man to make him meet her needs.
HSE women know exactly what they want in a man, and when they find one enjoy who he is.
LSE women are quick to obtain their man’s tokens of devotion, such as expensive gifts or immediately requiring a monogamous relationship.
HSE women are suspicious of expensive gifts early on, and do not decide that they want a relationship with the man until she gets to know him well.
LSE women would steal a man if it would give her affirmation.
HSE women are not at all interested in another woman’s man.
LSE women trade sex for attention and for verification that they are attractive and worthy.
For HSE women, sex is about sharing and celebrating sexuality.
LSE women respond to being treated poorly in an attempt to prove their worthiness.
HSE women expect to be treated well and respond only to that.
For a LSE woman, it’s not about the man, it’s about her own needs.
For a HSE woman, it’s about what her and her man enjoy together.
LSE women blame their problems on other people. They have the victim mentality.
HSE women assume personal responsibility for their own lot in life.
LSE women are motivated by moving away from bad.
HSE women are motivated by moving towards good.
LSE women must control others by manipulation.
HSE women see that as unhealthy.
LSE women are drama queens.
HSE women seek harmony.
LSE women have a warped sense of deservedness.
HSE women have a healthy sense of deservedness.
Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman’s biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men.
A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.
Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.
This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.
Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy’s girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy’s girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy’s girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two
good parents in a good relationship.
A Daddy’s Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be routing for you.
The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she
associates with. If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she’s got one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren’t a psychiatrist or a therapist, there’s not much you can do about it. And even then, it’s usually futile.
So, how do you specifically interview for high self-esteem? Don’t just ask her if she has high self-esteem. The low self-esteem women will insist that they do, and the high self-esteem women sometimes are modest about it. Instead, covertly look for the traits of high self-esteem. The first sign is if she has a hearty firm handshake and good eye contact. The most trustworthy sign of self-esteem is if she can take a compliment
well. But don’t ask her if she can take a compliment well, because all women will say they do. Instead, somewhere in the conversation, I will pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the
compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self-esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self-esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, which is what I want.
I will also get conversation to where we talk about past relationships. This gives me a very good idea about her sense of deservedness. I will listen for signs of how she was treated by her men. That describes how
she will be most comfortable. If she complains about how her men mistreated her, it is a very bad sign. But if all her men were very interested in her pleasure, then that is a very good sign. They are the women who will most appreciate, and best respond to me.
Then I will test for ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Eventually in the conversation, I will say "You know, I bet that when you were a little girl, about 7, you had a very close relationship with your father." If she didn’t, it will tend
to break rapport, as it should. But if she did, then it always servers to increase rapport in a massive way. Usually she will ask why I say that, and I will go into my ‘Daddy’s girl’ theory. The Daddy’s Girls always love it. But the ones who were not Daddy’s Girls will go into a long illogical discourse attempting to explain why they nonetheless have a high self esteem.
There is a very simple formula for dealing with Daddy’s Girls: Do all the things her daddy did to her, plus all those things her daddy dreaded a man like you would do to her.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
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But at night, they serve as de-facto living rooms, especially for young Muslims who don’t go to clubs and bar. From New York to Dallas, especially during the late nights of Ramadan, the crowd overflows into the street and you often have to yell to be heard inside. Some young Muslims even venture to the coffee shops in hopes of finding a life partner.
Nowhere is this coffeehouse culture more pronounced, and celebrated, than in Dearborn, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit and home to one of the largest Arab American communities in the United States.
Downtown Dearborn is peppered with different Yemeni coffee houses, which Howell said helped revitalize the Detroit area after the city became the largest municipality go to bankrupt in 2013. And it’s only growing.
“It’s become sort of contagious,” Howell said. “Several Yemeni entrepreneurs are opening coffee houses of their own, each with its own sort of style and atmosphere.”
The coffee chains have big ambitions beyond Dearborn. Qahwah House hopes to open another 20 to 30 locations in the next year, spanning across 12 states and Canada, Alhasbani said. They are also licensed out, but Alhasbani says he sets a high standard before agreeing to let anyone open a shop.
“We have too many people that come (asking me) they want to open. I have more than 10 different requests a day just to open this kind of business,” he said. “We don’t give anyone license until we make sure the person has the love for the brand and his mind and his heart in the Qahwah House.”
Another authentic Yemeni coffee chain, Haraz, also sees crowds of people throughout the day and night. They opened their first location in New York City last week — less than half a mile away from Qahwah House’s downtown Manhattan shop — and the franchisees plan to grow.
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During the day, Yemeni coffeehouses function similar to many neighborhood spots. Patrons host meetings, college students study and others pop in for a quick cup to-go.
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But at night, they serve as de-facto living rooms, especially for young Muslims who don’t go to clubs and bar. From New York to Dallas, especially during the late nights of Ramadan, the crowd overflows into the street and you often have to yell to be heard inside. Some young Muslims even venture to the coffee shops in hopes of finding a life partner.
Nowhere is this coffeehouse culture more pronounced, and celebrated, than in Dearborn, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit and home to one of the largest Arab American communities in the United States.
Downtown Dearborn is peppered with different Yemeni coffee houses, which Howell said helped revitalize the Detroit area after the city became the largest municipality go to bankrupt in 2013. And it’s only growing.
“It’s become sort of contagious,” Howell said. “Several Yemeni entrepreneurs are opening coffee houses of their own, each with its own sort of style and atmosphere.”
The coffee chains have big ambitions beyond Dearborn. Qahwah House hopes to open another 20 to 30 locations in the next year, spanning across 12 states and Canada, Alhasbani said. They are also licensed out, but Alhasbani says he sets a high standard before agreeing to let anyone open a shop.
“We have too many people that come (asking me) they want to open. I have more than 10 different requests a day just to open this kind of business,” he said. “We don’t give anyone license until we make sure the person has the love for the brand and his mind and his heart in the Qahwah House.”
Another authentic Yemeni coffee chain, Haraz, also sees crowds of people throughout the day and night. They opened their first location in New York City last week — less than half a mile away from Qahwah House’s downtown Manhattan shop — and the franchisees plan to grow.
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Если вы хотите покорить просторы интернета и сделать свой сайт заметным в Яндексе, то вы попали по адресу. Давайте разберемся, как раскрутить сайт в Яндексе, чем SEO для Яндекса отличается от Google, и что такое поведенческие факторы. Пристегните ремни, будет интересно!
Чем SEO для Яндекса отличается от Google?
Итак, вы, наверное, думаете: «SEO есть SEO, какая разница?» Но нет! Яндекс и Google — это как разные вселенные со своими правилами игры.
1. Алгоритмы ранжирования
Яндекс больше ориентируется на региональность. Если ваш бизнес в Москве, то Яндекс покажет ваш сайт москвичам в первую очередь.
Google больше глобален и обращает внимание на международные факторы.
2. Поведенческие факторы
Яндекс очень серьезно относится к поведенческим факторам. Это значит, что ему важно, как пользователи взаимодействуют с вашим сайтом.
Google тоже учитывает это, но в меньшей степени.
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Яндекс более скептически относится к количеству внешних ссылок и больше ценит их качество.
Google любит, когда на ваш сайт ссылаются другие ресурсы, и учитывает это при ранжировании.
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First things first: why should you care about link building? Well, in the digital universe, backlinks are like high-fives from other websites telling search engines, “Hey, this site is pretty cool!” The more quality high-fives you get, the more popular you become in the eyes of Google and friends. And you know what that means—higher rankings, more traffic, and a whole lot of new customers knocking on your virtual door.
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Imagine getting to share your ideas on someone else’s platform and gaining their audience’s trust. That’s guest posting in a nutshell! You create killer content for other websites in your niche, and in return, you get a sweet backlink to your site. Why It’s Cool: You tap into new audiences, build your brand’s credibility, and boost your SEO. Pro Tip: Make sure your content is top-notch and adds real value. No one likes fluff!
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Crowd marketing is all about jumping into online communities—forums, social media groups, you name it—and sharing your wisdom. It’s not about shameless plugs; it’s about being genuinely helpful. Why It’s Cool: You build relationships, establish yourself as an expert, and earn organic backlinks. Pro Tip: Be authentic. People can spot a fake from a mile away.
SEO Expert
Hey there, digital trailblazer! Ever wondered how some websites just seem to magically appear at the top of your search results? Spoiler alert: it’s not magic—it’s the incredible work of SEO experts! These wizards of the web are the unsung heroes helping businesses shine online. Ready to dive into their world and see how they can catapult your business to new heights? Let’s go!
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SEO (Search Engine Optimization) experts are like the navigators of the digital seas. They chart the course for websites to reach the coveted top spots on search engines like Google. Here’s how they make the magic happen:
Optimize Websites: They tweak and tune websites to be search-engine-friendly.
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Strategize Content: Crafting content that resonates with both humans and algorithms.
Build Links: Connecting your site with others to boost credibility.
Stay Updated: Algorithms change, and so do their strategies.
In a nutshell, they help businesses get found by the right people at the right time.
Site Analysis: The Detective Work of SEO
Imagine you’re opening a new cafe. Before the grand opening, you’d want to make sure everything’s perfect, right? Similarly, SEO experts perform a site analysis to ensure your website is in tip-top shape.
Live Example: The Case of “Joe’s Fitness Hub”
Joe’s Fitness Hub wasn’t getting much traffic despite having great content. An SEO expert stepped in to analyze the site and discovered:
Slow Loading Pages: Images weren’t optimized.
Broken Links: Some pages led to 404 errors.
Poor Mobile Experience: The site wasn’t mobile-friendly.
By identifying these issues, they set the stage for a major turnaround.
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