David Shade’s Manual, Vol. 1
June 9, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Interviewing for High Self-Esteem Women
By David Shade
www.davidshade.com
I specifically interview for high self-esteem women. The most comprehensive discussion on self-esteem I have seen is by Nathaniel Branden at nathanielbranden.net. He articulated it well when he wrote:
"Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; and to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite."
He defined self-esteem as "being competent to cope with the challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment, and happiness are right and natural for us. It is a consciousness to trust our self. It strives for rationality, coherence, clarity, and truth."
He defined six practices of a healthy self-esteem:
1) Living consciously: Respect for facts, open to new knowledge and feedback, and seeking to understand the world and ourselves.
2) Self-acceptance: Realism applied to self. The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning.
3) Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for life and well being and for the attainment of our goals.
4) Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
5) Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them.
6) Integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we profess to admire.
"What all these have in common is respect for reality."
What we call high self-esteem and low self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden calls self-esteem and pseudo self-esteem. He defined pseudo self-esteem as: "trying to compensate for deficiencies; a pretense at a self-confidence and self-respect; the effort to protect self-esteem with denial and evasion, which only results in a further deterioration of self-esteem."
Pseudo self-esteem can be easily identified by: "the defensiveness with which insecure people may respond when their errors are pointed out, or the extraordinary feats of avoidance and self-deception people can exhibit with regard to gross acts of non-consciousness and irresponsibility, or the foolish and pathetic ways people sometimes try to prop up their egos by the wealth or prestige of their spouse, the make of their automobile, or the fame of their dress designer, or by the exclusiveness of their golf club."
Traits of pseudo self-esteem include: delusional, ignorance, denial, evasion, betrayal of consciousness or conviction, lack of integrity, grandiosity, fantasies of superiority, conceited (exaggerated opinion of oneself,) boasting, arrogance, and the victim mentality of blaming others. What all these have in common is the lack of respect for reality. But the biggest indicator is the angry denial of low self-esteem or the denial that self-esteem is significant or desirable.
I have found the following to be true of HSE women and LSE women:
LSE women are insecure and seek validation from men.
HSE women are secure in themselves and have nothing to prove.
LSE women have a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled.
HSE women are self fulfilled.
LSE women will manipulate a man to make him meet her needs.
HSE women know exactly what they want in a man, and when they find one enjoy who he is.
LSE women are quick to obtain their man’s tokens of devotion, such as expensive gifts or immediately requiring a monogamous relationship.
HSE women are suspicious of expensive gifts early on, and do not decide that they want a relationship with the man until she gets to know him well.
LSE women would steal a man if it would give her affirmation.
HSE women are not at all interested in another woman’s man.
LSE women trade sex for attention and for verification that they are attractive and worthy.
For HSE women, sex is about sharing and celebrating sexuality.
LSE women respond to being treated poorly in an attempt to prove their worthiness.
HSE women expect to be treated well and respond only to that.
For a LSE woman, it’s not about the man, it’s about her own needs.
For a HSE woman, it’s about what her and her man enjoy together.
LSE women blame their problems on other people. They have the victim mentality.
HSE women assume personal responsibility for their own lot in life.
LSE women are motivated by moving away from bad.
HSE women are motivated by moving towards good.
LSE women must control others by manipulation.
HSE women see that as unhealthy.
LSE women are drama queens.
HSE women seek harmony.
LSE women have a warped sense of deservedness.
HSE women have a healthy sense of deservedness.
Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman’s biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men.
A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.
Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.
This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.
Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy’s girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy’s girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy’s girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two
good parents in a good relationship.
A Daddy’s Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be routing for you.
The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she
associates with. If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she’s got one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren’t a psychiatrist or a therapist, there’s not much you can do about it. And even then, it’s usually futile.
So, how do you specifically interview for high self-esteem? Don’t just ask her if she has high self-esteem. The low self-esteem women will insist that they do, and the high self-esteem women sometimes are modest about it. Instead, covertly look for the traits of high self-esteem. The first sign is if she has a hearty firm handshake and good eye contact. The most trustworthy sign of self-esteem is if she can take a compliment
well. But don’t ask her if she can take a compliment well, because all women will say they do. Instead, somewhere in the conversation, I will pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the
compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self-esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self-esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, which is what I want.
I will also get conversation to where we talk about past relationships. This gives me a very good idea about her sense of deservedness. I will listen for signs of how she was treated by her men. That describes how
she will be most comfortable. If she complains about how her men mistreated her, it is a very bad sign. But if all her men were very interested in her pleasure, then that is a very good sign. They are the women who will most appreciate, and best respond to me.
Then I will test for ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Eventually in the conversation, I will say "You know, I bet that when you were a little girl, about 7, you had a very close relationship with your father." If she didn’t, it will tend
to break rapport, as it should. But if she did, then it always servers to increase rapport in a massive way. Usually she will ask why I say that, and I will go into my ‘Daddy’s girl’ theory. The Daddy’s Girls always love it. But the ones who were not Daddy’s Girls will go into a long illogical discourse attempting to explain why they nonetheless have a high self esteem.
There is a very simple formula for dealing with Daddy’s Girls: Do all the things her daddy did to her, plus all those things her daddy dreaded a man like you would do to her.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
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Many New Yorkers will gladly tell anyone who’ll listen – and even those who won’t – about how they have the best pizza. And now they’ve got some mouth-watering new back-up for their long-standing culinary claims.
This week, the Italy-based 50 Top Pizza Awards came out with its 2024 worldwide list, and a Lower East Side restaurant came out on top.
Una Pizza Napoletana, opened by pizza maestro Anthony Mangieri in March 2022, not only beat out US competitors but also global ones. That includes pizzerias in Naples, Italy, the holy land for pizza aficionados and foodies in general.
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Italy still managed to dominate the overall list with 41 eateries while the United States got a total of 15 places recognized. And Naples managed to best New York with five entries on the list, including a tie for the No. 2 spot with Diego Vigtaliano Pizzeria.
Showing how truly global the awards are, nations not exactly known for their pizza scenes –South Korea, Bolivia and India, to name three – were represented on the list.
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It wasn’t the rich orchestra of high pitches and rumbles you might expect with an earthquake, but more of a monotonous hum, he told CNN. Earthquake signals tend to last for minutes; this one lasted for nine days.
He was baffled, it was “completely unprecedented,” he said.
Seismologists traced the signal to eastern Greenland, but couldn’t pin down a specific location. So they contacted colleagues in Denmark, who had received reports of a landslide-triggered tsunami in a remote part of the region called Dickson Fjord.
The result was a nearly year-long collaboration between 68 scientists across 15 countries, who combed through seismic, satellite and on-the-ground data, as well as simulations of tsunami waves to solve the puzzle.
The world’s best pizza for 2024 isn’t in Naples – or even in Italy. Here’s where it is …
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Many New Yorkers will gladly tell anyone who’ll listen – and even those who won’t – about how they have the best pizza. And now they’ve got some mouth-watering new back-up for their long-standing culinary claims.
This week, the Italy-based 50 Top Pizza Awards came out with its 2024 worldwide list, and a Lower East Side restaurant came out on top.
Una Pizza Napoletana, opened by pizza maestro Anthony Mangieri in March 2022, not only beat out US competitors but also global ones. That includes pizzerias in Naples, Italy, the holy land for pizza aficionados and foodies in general.
“It’s inspiring to be recognized for this 30 years into my career, especially in Naples where pizza originated,” Mangieri said in an email to CNN Travel on Thursday.
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Italy still managed to dominate the overall list with 41 eateries while the United States got a total of 15 places recognized. And Naples managed to best New York with five entries on the list, including a tie for the No. 2 spot with Diego Vigtaliano Pizzeria.
Showing how truly global the awards are, nations not exactly known for their pizza scenes –South Korea, Bolivia and India, to name three – were represented on the list.
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RGbet nổi bật với mức tỷ lệ trả thưởng cực kỳ hấp dẫn. Trong quá trình chơi, tôi nhận thấy rằng nhà cái này không chỉ cung cấp nhiều loại hình cược mà còn có những mức cược linh hoạt, phù hợp với mọi nhu cầu của người chơi. Bạn có thể bắt đầu với số tiền nhỏ và dần dần tăng lên khi đã nắm bắt được các quy luật và cách thức hoạt động của trò chơi. Sự đa dạng trong các tùy chọn cược giúp cho trải nghiệm chơi không bị nhàm chán, từ cược lô, đề đến các loại cược khác.
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RGBET: Trang Chủ Cá Cược Uy Tín và Đa Dạng Tại Việt Nam
RGBET đã khẳng định vị thế của mình là một trong những nhà cái hàng đầu tại châu Á và Việt Nam, với đa dạng các dịch vụ cá cược và trò chơi hấp dẫn. Nhà cái này nổi tiếng với việc cung cấp môi trường cá cược an toàn, uy tín và luôn mang lại trải nghiệm tuyệt vời cho người chơi.
Các Loại Hình Cá Cược Tại RGBET
RGBET cung cấp các loại hình cá cược phong phú bao gồm:
Bắn Cá: Một trò chơi đầy kịch tính và thú vị, phù hợp với những người chơi muốn thử thách khả năng săn bắn và nhận về những phần thưởng giá trị.
Thể Thao: Nơi người chơi có thể tham gia đặt cược vào các trận đấu thể thao đa dạng, từ bóng đá, bóng rổ, đến các sự kiện thể thao quốc tế với tỷ lệ cược hấp dẫn.
Game Bài: Đây là một sân chơi dành cho những ai yêu thích các trò chơi bài như tiến lên miền Nam, phỏm, xì dách, và mậu binh. Các trò chơi được phát triển kỹ lưỡng, đem lại cảm giác chân thực và thú vị.
Nổ Hũ: Trò chơi slot với cơ hội trúng Jackpot cực lớn, luôn thu hút sự chú ý của người chơi. Nổ Hũ RGBET là sân chơi hoàn hảo cho những ai muốn thử vận may và giành lấy những phần thưởng khủng.
Lô Đề: Với tỷ lệ trả thưởng cao và nhiều tùy chọn cược, RGBET là nơi lý tưởng cho những người đam mê lô đề.
Tính Năng Nổi Bật Của RGBET
Một trong những điểm nổi bật của RGBET là giao diện thân thiện, dễ sử dụng và hệ thống bảo mật tiên tiến giúp bảo vệ thông tin người chơi. Ngoài ra, nhà cái này còn hỗ trợ các hình thức nạp rút tiền tiện lợi thông qua nhiều kênh khác nhau như OVO, Gopay, Dana, và các chuỗi cửa hàng như Indomaret và Alfamart.
Khuyến Mãi và Dịch Vụ Chăm Sóc Khách Hàng
RGBET không chỉ nổi bật với các trò chơi đa dạng, mà còn cung cấp nhiều chương trình khuyến mãi hấp dẫn như bonus chào mừng, cashback, và các phần thưởng hàng ngày. Đặc biệt, dịch vụ chăm sóc khách hàng của RGBET hoạt động 24/7 với đội ngũ chuyên nghiệp, sẵn sàng hỗ trợ người chơi qua nhiều kênh liên lạc.
Kết Luận
Với những ưu điểm nổi bật về dịch vụ, bảo mật, và trải nghiệm người dùng, RGBET xứng đáng là nhà cái hàng đầu mà người chơi nên lựa chọn khi tham gia vào thế giới cá cược trực tuyến.
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DJ88 adalah situs game deposit pulsa terbaik di Indonesia yang menawarkan pengalaman bermain game online yang lengkap dan mudah. Hanya dengan satu ID, pemain dapat mengakses berbagai jenis permainan yang tersedia di platform ini, memberikan kenyamanan dan variasi permainan yang tak tertandingi.
Sebagai situs game online berlisensi resmi dari PAGCOR (Philippine Amusement and Gaming Corporation), DJ88 menjamin keamanan dan kenyamanan para penggunanya. Dengan dukungan server hosting yang cepat serta sistem keamanan canggih berbasis enkripsi terkini, DJ88 memberikan rasa aman dalam menjaga privasi dan data penggunanya. Tampilan situs yang modern dan intuitif juga memastikan pengalaman bermain yang menyenangkan dan mudah diakses oleh semua kalangan.
Salah satu keunggulan DJ88 adalah kemudahan dalam melakukan deposit pulsa, baik melalui XL maupun Telkomsel, dengan potongan yang lebih rendah dibandingkan situs lainnya. Hal ini menjadikan DJ88 sebagai salah satu situs game online pulsa terbesar di Indonesia. Tidak hanya itu, pengguna juga dapat melakukan deposit melalui berbagai platform E-commerce resmi seperti OVO, Gopay, Dana, atau bahkan melalui minimarket seperti Indomaret dan Alfamart.
DJ88 dikenal sebagai agen game online terpercaya yang selalu menempatkan kepercayaan pengguna sebagai prioritas utama. Dengan berbagai upaya menjaga reputasi dan memberikan layanan terbaik, DJ88 telah menjadi pilihan utama bagi pemain game online di Indonesia.
Platform ini menawarkan berbagai macam permainan online yang dapat diakses kapan saja dan di mana saja, tanpa perlu repot bepergian. DJ88 juga menyediakan game live dengan host cantik yang berinteraksi secara real-time melalui kamera, memberikan pengalaman bermain yang lebih menarik dan interaktif.
Selain pilihan permainan yang beragam, DJ88 juga menyediakan berbagai promo menarik seperti welcome bonus 20%, bonus deposit harian, hingga cashback, yang tentunya menambah keseruan bermain. Promo ini dirancang agar pemain dapat menikmati keuntungan lebih dari setiap permainan.
DJ88 juga unggul dalam layanan pelanggan. Dengan tim customer service yang profesional, ramah, dan siap membantu 24 jam non-stop melalui berbagai platform seperti Live Chat, WhatsApp, dan media sosial, DJ88 memastikan setiap pertanyaan dan masalah pengguna dapat diselesaikan dengan cepat dan tepat.
Dengan segala keunggulan yang ditawarkan, DJ88 menjadi situs game online pulsa pilihan terbaik di Indonesia. Bergabunglah sekarang dan nikmati berbagai keuntungan dari DJ88!
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