Persistence can get you Laid

It’s not often that I find an article related to dating and seduction that’s written by a woman which is actually good. But every once and a while I find that rare gem who actually seems to GET it. This is an article by a woman names Melissa Balmer who wrote a book called “The Science of Picking-Up Women.” In this article, she touches on a very important topic, which is how persistence can get you L-A-I-D.

How Being Persistent Can Get You Laid
by Melissa Balmer

“Failure is success if we learn from it” – Malcolm S. Forbes

Wishing is a very easy thing to do, succeeding is not. Anyone who tells you that all of your dreams can come true without your hard work and effort is full of it. There is no such thing as an overnight success.

You’ll become a winner with women when you decide to not only read books and websites with good advice, but also to put that advice to good use and make your own action plan. Most importantly, as Forbes points out above, you’ll become a winner with women when you learn from your failures. Failure happens to all of us in the game of love. Winners know two major things even the odds out in their favor:

1) Constantly honing their skills

2) Understanding that compatibility in love and sex are a numbers game

Honing Your Skills Constantly

If you want to be a top athlete you practice your game constantly, right? If you want to be a great dancer you practice your moves constantly. Why then, should love and sex be any different? They aren’t. If you want to be great at the game of love you need to hone your skills constantly. I don’t care how old you are, how many dates you’ve had, or even the amount of sex. You don’t expect to go from being a couch potato to running a marathon the same month do you? And you don’t expect to win marathons unless you train hard and train constantly. Learning what it takes to be fantastic with women is no different. Every day there’s something new to learn and master about yourself to be the best you can be. Every day there’s something new to learn about understanding and relating to women successfully so that you make the best impression and have the best chance at success.

By the way, this information is true even if you’re in a relationship.

In order to master any skill and accomplish any goal you need to break it down into what I call “bite sized chews”. What I mean by this is that you break down the goal into small “mini” goals that you can more easily accomplish. By making things easier to accomplish you feel better about yourself and keep going. Think about it. No one loses weight and gets in shape for the long run by going on a crash diet. People lose weight by learning new eating and exercising skills that they can incorporate into their daily lives, skills that become habits. It’s the exact same concept when learning how to communicate and relate to women.

Let’s break it down to make sure you understand. Let’s say that you have a mad crush on a woman and want to ask her out on a date – but haven’t even gotten up the nerve to speak to her yet. The crash and burn method would be to run up to this woman and blurt out your affection (equally bad is getting drunk at a party and doing the same). I’m amazed to find out how many men approach women this way! Talk about shock and awe (and not in the good sense). Two things need to happen before you ask this woman out:

1) You need to make sure your conversation skills with women are up to par

2) You need to scope out the situation with her and find out if she’s even open to dating someone new

Are Your Conversation Skills With Women Ready?

My dear men, so many of you live in your own little world ignoring that there’s a whole big wonderful world going on around you. Even if you insist on being obsessed with one woman, you need to understand that your every day world is full of fantastic opportunities to practice your social skills for those all important moments when you want to socialize with “the one”.

Let me be incredibly clear here, the more you practice speaking to women, any women, the better your social skills will be with the women you’re attracted to. That means each warm hello you give to the woman at the bakery, the coffee shop, the dry cleaner, the convenience store, the easier it will be to engage the one who lights you fire. The more you make light and easy conversation with strange women you’ve never met – at the bus stop, the library, etc. – the easier it will be to talk to the one who rocks your world. Practice makes perfect. Write this down. Stick it on your bathroom mirror. Never forget it.

Is She Even Open To Dating?

So let’s assume you’ve worked on your speaking skills and you’re feeling more confident. It’s time to introduce yourself to the woman of your dreams. How should it be done? Short, sweet and casually. All you want to do is say hello and introduce yourself. If you’re given a warm reception don’t ruin it by over staying your welcome. If we’ve said it here once we’ve said it here a thousand times – always leave a woman wanting more of you, not less.

While you’re starting to get to know this new woman it’s wise to ask around and find out what you can about her. If she’s already involved it’s probably best not to ask her out, but you can still get to know her and be the guy waiting in the wings. Patience is a great virtue in the game of love and sex. People break up all the time so all you may have to do is keep leaving great (but short) impressions and sit back and wait…

Do not become her best friend. Do not become the man she runs to in order to commiserate about her love life.

Understand That Love and Sex are a Numbers Game

I know it sounds like I’ve got a heart made of stone. Trust me, I don’t. What I am is open to the reality that the world is full of interesting and attractive people – too many to continue to obsess and pine forever for one you can’t have. Sooner or later (if it hasn’t already happened) you’ll come across a woman who makes your heart sing, but either she’s unavailable or just not interested. What you need to recognize and accept is that if you can feel this way once, you can feel this way again. Will you feel exactly the same? No. But time has taught me that the world is full of unlimited and amazing possibilities where love and sex are concerned – however – only if you’re open to it and only if you hang in there and understand that persistence pays.

Good stuff. I especially like the part about the “numbers game,” because that is incredibly spot on. Persistence is especially important in this MTV ruled world where people are easily forgotten. I think some guys get too caught up in the whole “NEXT-ing” mentality when some flake or perceived slight occurs with a woman, when in reality, just a little persistence is what is needed to take a girl from flake to fuck.
I know this has been a problem I’ve struggled with. I tend to be lazy/busy and don’t follow up with girls as often as I should. I think part of having a goal is not giving up on achieving it, and if your goal is to sleep with a particular woman, you need to go after it. The trick is not to get caught up with just ONE woman, but rather go after more than one at any given time. This, of course, complicates things because that means you have to be persistent with EVERY woman you are pursuing. Talk about tiresome.

Anyway, if you want to read the original article, you can check it out by clicking here.