Getting rid of Approach Anxiety

I talk about my own way to do this a bit in my book The Art of Approaching, but Tyler Durden has chimed in with his own post about how to get rid of this sticky little wicket when it comes to meeting women.

Tyler Durden writes:
I don’t get approach anxiety, but a friend of mine is one of the best PUAs I know still gets it. Here are some personal tips from the stash, that my wings PlayboyLA/26/SB007 and I use when we’re in field. What we do is joke around, so that we’re just having fun and nothing is taken too seriously. We also appear to be having more fun on our own, which comes across unneedy, rather than staring at the room in awe. Here are a few things we do.

These aren’t things we consciously do, but just jokes that I see happening all the time when we’re out.

-”The precious LIKES it.. it LIKES it…. It WANTS it.. the precious WANTS it..” (Golemn imitation from The Lord of the Rings, referring to our dicks wanting the girls and being in control of us – but you guys already knew that, didn’t you?)

-Singing: “Who’s that giiiiirl?…. she’s a SPECIAL girl… she’s a DIFFERENT KIND OF GIRL… she’s a SNOOOWFLAAAAKE… I wanna MEET her.. she’s SPECIAL… (whispering) She’s the ONE.” (done to Backstreet Boys singing style).

-The Leprechaun dance. This is something that we have occassionally been known to do if we get blatantly blown out of a set. If Twentysix wants to eject, he’ll look at me and do a few moves. Then we’ll bust out the most maddest leprechaun dance you’ve ever seen. PlayboyLA and I now have a 5 move version of this that is seriously fucking pro.

-Joking that we already got laid. Twentysix will come back from the bathroom and say shit like “I just fclosed that girl while you guys were gone. I got 8 numbers.”

-Joking around that we’re girls. If the Outkast “Hey Ya” song comes on, we’ll start screaming and yelling “MUST DANCE!!!”

-Walking up to old sets that we don’t really want and pretending like we’re shooting guns at them as we reapproach so they’re laughing, and then grabbing them and cavemanning them over our shoulders and walking into the next set with them screaming (in a good way, I swear).

-Imitations of eachother’s mannerisms as we enter sets. I’ll enter a set like I’m PlayboyLA, and he’ll laugh at it, and pretend to be me.

The point that I’m trying to make is that we go out to have fun, and we joke around with each other the entire time. Those are just examples of jokes that I remember we’ve done at times. I see guys going out and having approach anxiety, and I think that its because they’re caring too much what other people think of them and not going out to have fun with their friends. If your skillset is developed, then success will happen on autopilot, so I think the best thing to do is just go out and have fun and allow it to happen, rather than focusing on it. If you focus on doing well, then it just obstructs it. If you go out and have fun, then whatever is there just naturally comes out.

This is a very important thing, because the girls pick up on the vibe that you are having fun on your own, and they will say things when you approach like “You are the coolest guys in here. We’ve been hoping you guys would talk to us all night.” I get that in set all the time, but only on nights when I’m having fun independently of the validation that I’m getting from girls.

Good stuff indeed. Fun is infectious, and when you look like you’re having fun, it’ll rub off on others and make you look more attractive. You can read the whole thread here.