What ANNOYS Women, and What ATTRACTS Them
May 11, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
David DeAngelo, everyone’s favorite Dating Guru, put out a new newsletter which I thought was pretty good. It’s about the wussy behavior men exhibit that drive women away, and what you can do to turn the tables and make yourself more attractive to them.
Pretty basic stuff, but solid none the less. If you’re just starting out with this stuff, I’d say this is a must read. =)
David DeAngelo writes:
If you listen to women talk about men, you’ll often hear them use the word "ANNOYING" to describe certain men and certain things that some men DO.Now, as you can probably guess, it’s not usually a good thing when a woman uses this particular word to describe a guy…
And, as you can ALSO probably guess, when a woman uses this particular word, it’s not usually about guys who she is ATTRACTED to (although this isn’t always
true).Now, It’s taken me a few years of paying attention
to really get a handle on what women are talking about when they say "He’s annoying" or "It’s so annoying when he does that".And guess what I realized was at the ROOT of women finding a guy or his behavior annoying?
IT’S ALMOST ALWAYS WUSSY BEHAVIOR!
AHHHH!
THINGS THAT ANNOY WOMEN…
Here are some of the things that many women consider to be "annoying":
-Calling her too often
-Telling her that you have "feelings" for her too early
-Giving away your power to her and making her the boss
-Always asking a woman what she wants instead of leading
-Acting submissive and weak
-Accepting her demands, bossy-ness, and manipulative requests
-Being her doormat and putting your own needs aside
"WHAT?" you say.
"HOW COULD THIS BE?"… you might be thinking.
How is it possible that demonstrating your affection for a woman by calling her, telling her how you feel, letting her make the decisions, and putting her first could be considered ANNOYING, of all things?
Well guess what?
IT IS.
Women, and ESPECIALLY the most ATTRACTIVE and desirable women usually consider the above things to be VERY annoying.
Of course, the reason for this is because no matter how good these kinds of behaviors seem on the surface, there’s only one conclusion that can be drawn from them:
THE MAN DOING THEM IS A BONAFIDE, 100% CERTIFIABLE WUSSY!
AND WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
NEVER.
Now, do I really, really, REALLY mean that women are NEVER, EVER attracted to Wussies?
I mean, isn’t that an over-generalization?
Nothing is always true, right?
Well, this one IS.
Actually, what I MEAN is…
"As far as generalizations go, this particular one is as close to being true all the time as they get."
And just in case I haven’t said this enough, let me say it one more time… just to make sure it’s clear:
WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO WUSSIES.
So, now you understand why all of the "nice" things that you’ve done for women seem to always result in the woman pulling away.
It’s because she finds your nice-guy "Wuss" behaviors to be ANNOYING.
AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE…
To further confuse things, you’ll often hear a woman say something to the effect of…
"I want a STRONG guy who is also SENSITIVE…"
…or…
"He needs to have his own life, his own interests, and his own friends, but also totally focused on me…"
I see things like this in women’s personal ads all the time. I’m sure you’ve seen things like this yourself.
Women often talk about wanting a combination of things in a man that just don’t seem to fit…
So what’s going on here?
Are women crazy? (Yes.)
But seriously, what are they talking about?
How is it that women seem to always talk about wanting men who have these qualities that don’t fit together?
I know that I personally used to hear this stuff and then say to myself "OK, well I’ve got the sensitive part covered so I guess I need to start acting a little bit stronger".
I thought that maybe this came down to getting my lazy ass to the gym and working out. You know, to become "stronger".
No, I’m serious.
Well, here’s the BIG REALIZATION that I had…
I’ve now realized that I had it all wrong.
Instead of thinking to myself that I was a nice, sensitive guy that needed to become a little stronger, what I really needed was to become a strong guy who could also act sensitive on occasion.
The difference seems almost like word-play, but
it’s not. Not at all.You see, when a woman says that she wants a "strong guy who’s also sensitive", that’s what she MEANS.
She wants a guy who’s STRONG. The sensitive part is far more "optional" than the STRONG part.
This is why women often date jerks and guys who are emotionally unavailable, and don’t date us "nice guys" who would do anything for them.
Remember, ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE.
Women do not sit down and make a list of the qualities that a particular guy has, then think it over for a few days, then DECIDE whether or not to FEEL ATTRACTION.
NO WAY.
It happens in an INSTANT, and it happens for all kinds of "illogical" reasons… reasons that even the woman who is feeling it can’t usually describe.
So what’s the answer here?
The answer here is to realize that many of the things you do when you’re around women that you feel attracted to are considered ANNOYING by those women.
You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that SEEM to be "inconsiderate" in order to give a woman what she REALLY wants (which is a man who is in control of himself, the situation, and often her).
Raise your right hand, and repeat after me…
"I will stop being a Wussy around women."
”I will stop being a Wussy around women."
"I will stop being a Wussy around women."
Stop doing things that say "I’m a Wussy", because those are the very things that women find ANNOYING.
And START doing the things that you’re learning here.
Lean back. Act Cocky & Funny around women. Bust on them and give them a hard time. And LEAD the way, don’t follow.
NOW, if you REALLY want to take a trip "behind the scenes" and hear me describe EXACTLY how to develop into the kind of man that women find "naturally attractive" and EXACTLY what to do, how to do it, and when to do it in order to meet and date the kinds of women that most men will only dream about, then I recommend you get a copy of my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD Series.
This is the program that I guarantee will change the entire way you see the women and dating… and it will INSTANTLY help you meet more women and get more dates.
The program is jam-packed with hundreds and hundreds of the best step-by-step techniques for overcoming your fear and shyness, approaching women, getting emails
and numbers, getting dates, and taking things to a "physical" level smoothly.You will not find the material in this program
anywhere else… at any price.Free sample clips and all the details are here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.info/advancedseries
And if you haven’t downloaded your copy of my online eBook, then you need to do that immediately. You can download it to your computer and be reading it in just a few minutes from right now. It’s here:
http://www.doubleyourdating.info/ebook
I’ll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
It’s funny, because I was watching the Soprano’s last week when Medow’s boyfriend proposed to her, and that dude is such a fuckin’ wussy. The entire time the two of them were arguing and he kept letting her make the decisions, you could honestly see in her face that she just wanted him to be a man and make up his mind for himself instead of being such a fucking pussy.
I used to do this a lot myself. Defer the decision to the girl I was with. Let her take the strong lead. But honestly, that’s like, the WORST possible thing anyone could do with a woman. I think part of being a man is leading others, even if you’re not confident that you’re decision is the right one, at least you’re taking that responsibility, and other people respond to that.
Anyway, if you want to get David D’s newsletters, you can sign up for them through his website at www.doubleyourdating.com
ScottreN on 
WilliamOmify on 
FelipePew on 
DonaldZEF on 
same ol’ song and dance. But your reviews about the DYD seminar gave me doubts about David D, as you and others said he wasn’t even all that C&F… and I got the impression that he just thinks all this up in his head without really testing his theories in the field. Actually, *I* have tested his theories in the field, and it only works with some certain types of women, but it bombs with others (and no, their looks has nothing to do with it…)
the woman has to be very confident to withstand cocky/funny, esp from a good looking guy…
I think thats part of David D’s game to weed out all the LSE girls that can’t take C&F.
This weeding out argument is weak. It is good if you weed out just a few, but it is bad when weed out the majority. One of biggest shortcomings of C&F is that girls usually won’t be able to reciprocate with C&F, so C&F is not a stable phrase, and can’t be sustained. It is much better to make it light and playful, which allow the girl to flirt back.
You are not MEANT to sustain a C&F barrage throughout the entire interaction (unless that is your frame). David D. never claims that. It’s meant to be a spice. Throw in a dash of C&F here, a little bit there and it dials up the tension, sparking the attraction. And it’s not meant to be a system either. It’s just a way to interact with a women that will keep her engaged. If you sustain C&F the whole time, you’ll probably blow yourself out (again unless its your frame).
The weeding out arguement is not weak. That is specifically part of David D.’s game. Even if a chick can’t reciprocate, that doesn’t mean she will be weeded out. If she crumbles or gets really offended, then she’s either LSE or you fucked up in your delivery.
Thundy reported that Rick H confided to him that David D. is the real deal. And you can’t argue that Rick H. doens’t know what he’s talking about.
I think you have to gauge C&F depending on the girl. Some come right back with it and you can really get into it. Others who are simply too sweet are taken aback by it so you have to go really light and keep it to some fun teasing.
It really is excellent though for weeding out bitches, I could have avoided a lot of control freaks in the past by weeding them out with C&F up front.
The frame for sustained C&F is Rick H. Other than him I don’t know of anyone who really has the frame to do C&F 100% of the time.
You must understand that you sometimes have to do things that SEEM to be “inconsiderate” in order to give a woman what she REALLY wants (which is a man who is in control of himself, the situation, and often her).
Raise your right hand, and repeat after me…
“I will stop being a Wussy around women.”
”I will stop being a Wussy around women.”
“I will stop being a Wussy around women.”
Clinically speaking, this is piss-poor advice in terms of being a workable self-change technique, and here is why:
Giving yourself suggestions NOT to be a certain way will actually cause the sub-conscious to focus more on the negative behavior, as the subconscious will edit out the “stop” or “don’t” and just keep right on focusing on what you are suggesting: being a Wussy around women.
So you wind up actually reinforcing what you DON’T want.
It’s like saying, “I won’t think of a purple elephant”.
If you want the real deal stuff for personal change, go to:
http://www.seduction.com
RJ
93/93
I agree with the poster who said that you need to add cocky/funny into the interaction in moderation, as a “spice”. Something I think that most guys don’t realize is that the C&F comments and teasing you’re doing to those girls shows you’re fun, but it’s also a form of “shit-test” on the woman. Now, that’s fine for the first minute of a 2-minute interaction where you’re just looking to number-close or fool around. When you first meet a woman you have to really set yourself apart and show her that you’re not like the others. BUT picture a woman shit-testing you for 15 minutes straight while you’re with her. Picture her saying smartass comments every other sentence, like “What makes you think I’d WANT to kiss you??” or “You’re such an ass”. Odds are you’d get fed up with her and never want to see her again. It’s too much. A couple shit-tests here and there are CUTE, but… So my advice on cocky & funny is to use it heavily in the initial approach, but during a date use it as a SPICE to give the interaction some flavour. Like spicing your food. Just like you wouldn’t eat a bowl of pepper or a bowl of salt, don’t make an interaction all spice/C&F. Talk about cool things with her, discuss experiences, use push-pull and takeaways, use sexual state projection, etc. and occasionally throw in a couple C&F comments every few minutes. The guys who overdo it are bound to get blown out.
Also, although I like the concept and the results I get with cocky/funny comments, I think David D’s recommendations on it are the WRONG way to do it. You have to have at least a smirk on your face when saying these things. You have to come across more as a smartass than as an a**hole. David D recommends saying these things with a straight face and serious voice tone, and I could easily picture him coming across as an a**hole. Picture a guy saying to YOU with a straight face and serious tone, “Excuse me, don’t stand so close to me”. Would you think this guy is funny, or would you think “What an a**hole”.
Lastly, I think guys who get blown out regularly using C&F are coming off as more insulting or lame than funny. The problem with telling guys to be cocky and funny is that most guys don’t know how to be funny in the first place. They’ll think insulting or humiliating someone is funny, or they’ll like lame humor, then do that and say “Well cocky and funny never worked for me”. An example of this is on the Advanced Series, when David D asks his students to come up with C&F examples and they come up with the LAMEST S*** ever. Work on making people laugh guys, and only THEN consider using your brand of humor to attract women.
I’ve found David’s stuff to be helpful in many ways, but I’ve also found that I tend to over-analyze things because of it. For instance, I’ll interact with a woman, and put a lot of pressure on myself to be C&F, or do the other things he suggests, and it screws with my head.
“I’ve found David’s stuff to be helpful in many ways, but I’ve also found that I tend to over-analyze things because of it. For instance, I’ll interact with a woman, and put a lot of pressure on myself to be C&F, or do the other things he suggests, and it screws with my head.”
Setting aside the value or lack of value in the advice, anytime things get chunked to the really small behavior elements, like the speed you move your limbs, the width you put in your stance, the exact look on your face, it tends to lead to over-analyzing.
Going after the larger chunk concepts and beliefs that “power” your “PUA” will be more useful.
The REAL use behind “cocky and funny” (as opposed to David D’s exaggerations about genetic programming and Alpha responses) is to keep you from being eliminated as another boring guy. Plus, used in moderation, it’s entertaining.
So, understand what it is aimed at and you won’t have to analylze as much.
Personally, I find funny and playful is more useful.
Good luck
RJ
http://www.seduction.com
Posted by: slimshady31677 at May 13, 2004 08:42 AM
Well, what about if a girl is a user?
And she actually wants someone who pays for
her? Once I girl got UPSET, because I had no
money with me….
If cocky and funny isn’t working for you then you’re probably doing it wrong. David D’s stuff is much more practical and easy to use than Ross Jefferies’stuff.
Is it in any way possible that someone can plze email me a copy of the DYD Ebook(pdf format)? I would really like to check it out. Thankx!!