It’s all about the hair — Jlaix Style!
April 28, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
So I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “Thundercat, I wanna be good with the ladies. But I’m not sure how to make myself look attractive to the opposite sex. What would Jlaix do if he were in my shoes?”
Well, according to Tyler Durden, the secret to Jlaix’s Samson-like power is his super-tall hair.
Tyler Durden writes:
So I actually went and grew my hair out tall like a weirdo, just to field test Jlaix’s notorious hairstyle.One thing that Twentysix taught me was that you need to really field test everything that you read from a reasonably credible source, and you need to test it authentically without putting your own biases into the process.
So last year when I first met Jlaix, he would often talk about how he would get extra points of goodlookingness with his tall hair. He seemed quite convinced of this. To me, this sounded pretty stupid and was probably something that he delusionally convinced himself of – in an adorable way of course. Time to smile and nod. “Ummm, yeah man. It’s totally like, that tall hair. Like, the source of the mojo, man. Totally.”
As I got to know Jlaix more, I realized that he was not quite as nuts as the posts might have lead one to believe. Really he was more of a poser insane maniac, and actually was one of the most academically and socially sharp guys I’ve ever met. Don’t be fooled by the pentagram scar on his shoulder that he repetitively knifed into himself over several months. It’s all for show. Like, the dude is a fucking genius, and the whole Jlaix-thing is a more a manifestation of past identity congruence combined with the drive to confront the absurdity of existence head on by shoving absurdity back down existence’s throat. How’s that for a cold read? So having assumed source credibility, I decided this year to field test the Jlaix tall hair. For my last 4 haircuts I told the hairstylist not to cut the top, but just clean it up around the sides. I’d have her run through the texturizing knife at the top, just to keep it from getting all split, but basically I grew really tall hair just like Jlaix. I told Jlaix that I’d grow it taller than him so that I’d take all his power like in the movie Highlander, get a picture of it for permanent records, and then cut it back to normal.
Anyway, personally I don’t even think it looks that different or even any better than what I had before. But I get opened off it about 15 times a night. Girls come up to me and say “I love your hair”, “you’re hot”, “I wanna touch it.” All the time, guys are like “Dude, where did you get your haircut?” Again, I find this funny, because it barely looks that long or different. It’s just that extra inch-age or something. You know what they say about a guy with tall hair, right?
Last night I hooked up with a girl, and debriefed her afterwards. She said that the only reason she liked me was because of my hair, and that she saw me across the bar and wanted me because of it instantly. This was a girl that I was making out with like the Titanic was sinking within 2 minutes of opening her. I’m dead serious. And this isn’t the first time that this has happened this month. Incidentally, this particular chick was decent but not that hot – any thoughts on this Jlaix???
Really though, I get opened and compliments from hot 9s and 10s regularly, and it seems to have enhanced my looks to them somehow. I use mate-clay to twist it up and I’m good to go. I’m getting great results with it. The lay-deees-love-it.
Sooooo, its field tested. Yep. Someone went and field tested Jlaix’s tall hair. As Papa says, “Everything must be field tested”. Positive results. *Very* positive. Props to Jlaix. I wanna lick you man.
Everyone wants to lick Jlaix. Though some would say they’re not surprized to hear this from Tyler (just kidding. Love ya in the non-homo way, buddy!).
You can read the whole thread here.
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