AoA: The Secret to Warming-Up

The Secret to Warming-Up
By Thundercat

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I remember when I was in High School, I used to play football.  And before each practice, we had to run four laps around the field.  Now, being the fat, out of shape pud that I was (and still am), I would always complain about having to do this.  But each time I complained, the coaches would always respond:

“Ya gotta warm-up, kid.”

In any activity, you have to “warm-up” in order to avoid injury.  Well, the same is true with SOCIAL activities as well.  Most guys don’t warm up before they go out, so while they’re at a party, club, or bar, they just stand around looking uncomfortable.  Other guys warm up by getting drunk and losing control.  But no matter what you do, you have to learn to make yourself become SOCIAL.

So how do you make yourself social?  The easiest way I know how is to start talking to people.  It can be about anything you want to talk about, just as long as you get your mouth moving.  It doesn’t even matter if what you’re saying is interesting or not, as long as you are saying something.  The more people you talk to, the easier it will be to open up and have a good time.

There is the factor of Social Anxiety that goes along with any situation you may find yourself in.  Basically, Social Anxiety occurs when you are in an unfamiliar environment, you feel the need or desire to do something that is outside your comfort zone, or both.  This is why so many guys have a hard time in clubs and bars.  They are in an environment they are not comfortable in, and they feel pressured to pick-up women – both of which lead to a great deal of Social Anxiety, which can keep you from approaching.

So the trick here is to get rid of that Social Anxiety by becoming comfortable in your environment, and then meeting women you find attractive.

The best way to become comfortable in your environment is to “warm-up.”  And you warm up the same way you would in a sport – with members of your own team.  That’s right, I’m talking about OTHER GUYS here.

Talking to other guys you don’t know is a great way to become comfortable in an unfamiliar environment and get in a social mode.  When I’m in a new environment and don’t feel like approaching, I’ll start to talk to other guys.  After a few times doing this, I usually find it’s easier to start talking to women, because I’m beginning to feel more at ease and hit my stride as far as approaching strangers go.

Now, I’ve had men tell me in the past that approaching other guys is uncomfortable.  They don’t want to talk to other guys, because they wanna meet girls!  They also say that talking to other guys makes them look gay.  Well, I let these dudes do what they want while I get a few phone numbers from some of the prettiest girls in the joint.  They usually end up going home alone, or with their buddies, whom they don’t “feel gay” talking to, apparently.

The real reason I recommend approaching a few guys first is because there is no sexual tension with other men.  You don’t want to sleep with other guys, so you’re disassociated with the outcome.  This makes it easy to talk to them.  And when that feeling of disassociation takes hold, you’re better able to talk to ANYONE, including the hottest girl in the bar, because you don’t care about the outcome.  You’re just being social.

And the best thing is, you can use most of the same Openers on guys that you do on girls, and it’s just as engaging.  So it’s great practice for when you work your way up to talking to women.  At the very least, just walking up to a guy and saying “Hey, what’s up bro?” can get a conversation going.  The only important thing to be aware of is to get yourself talking.

Once you’ve “warmed-up” socially, you’ll feel better able to talk to women.  In order to learn how to do that, I suggest you check out The Art of Approaching to learn the best tricks, tips, and tactics on meeting any woman, any time, anywhere you may be.

To your success!

Thundercat