From “Best Friend” To “Girlfriend.”
October 3, 2011 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
Sleeker2610 over on the PUAForums writes an incredibly awkwardly phrased question, that actually addresses an issue lots of guys struggle with: turning that girl “friend” into a “girlfriend.”
Sleeker2610 writes:
Hi I want to ask for help in my situation because I fall in love with my best girl friend. I know she likes me very much because even if I said her I fall in love with her she accepted a date with me but she still cannot switch me from position of her best male friend to boyfriend :/ . So here is the thing I just have to bring her to swap me from friend zone to eventual boyfriend and its done
but I dont know how :/. She is okay even when we hang out alone together she allow me to sleep with her and hugging her during that time and she likes it
Okay, so I guess now would be a good time to go over how exactly one manages to “escape the friend zone” and actually turn that female friend of yours into something more…
First of all, know this – if a girl is friends with you, it means she likes you. However, being friends with you also means that she likes you, but isn’t attracted enough to you to want to be anything more than just friends. Any couple I know of who was “friends first” and later turned into something more always had a certain level of attraction there between the two before they became friends. So, to move out of the friend zone, you need to establish an attraction with the girl you’re friends with.
I go really in-depth about this process in my course The Art Of Approaching (so much so that I broke it out into its own book, which you get for free with the main course). But here are the basics…
First, you have to be willing to LOSE this girl’s friendship. Why? Well, because in order to create attraction, you’re going to have to start treating her differently than you would a friend. In fact, you’ll have to change your behavior so much, that the girl in question won’t recognize you from the guy she used to know. And when this happens, she might decide you’re no longer her friend.
So you need to ask yourself: What’s more important to you – her friendship, or a chance at a romantic relationship?
If you want to roll the dice and are willing to risk your friendship, know that you will have to start treating this girl in a way that’s radically different from what you’re used to. Spending time with her and chit-chatting isn’t enough, you have to start building sexual tension and creating a new frame with which you interact with her. This can be uncomfortable at first, for both you and the girl, but if you keep it up, she will eventually fall in line with it.
You’ll need to add a “sexual” edge to everything you do. Instead of joking around, you’ll need to joke around in a flirty way. You’ll have to make comments about her that subtly lets her know you’re attracted to her, without coming right out and making it clear. You’ll have to limit your interactions to stuff that allows you to seduce her – no more 3 hour phone calls about her boy troubles! And most of all, you have to know how to get physical with her, because unless that happens, she’s never going to make that transition.
All that said, there’s never a 100% guaranteed way to get a girl to go from being a friend to a lover. Every person is different, and some women might be looking for things in a guy you just don’t have. So the best advice I can give in this situation is to not get too hung up on any one girl, even if you think she’s “the one.” Keep playing the field, but keep working on your target as well, and see which one gets you the result you want the quickest.
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The first match of the day is about to get going at Court Philippe-Chatrier here at Roland Garros and it is going to be an electric afternoon in the Paris sunshine.
Today’s first contest is a second-round encounter in the women’s tournament between France’s Diane Parry and Poland’s Iga Swiatek. While the home nation’s crowd will certainly be behind Parry, it’s the second clash on the schedule that has everyone’s mouths watering.
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Rafael Nadal, the ‘King of Clay’ and 14-time winner of the French Open held annually on this court, is the sentimental favorite. Nadal has endeared himself to the Paris faithful over the years with his dominance of the French Open and is attempting to make one final run for gold on what could potentially be one of his last runs on these famous clay courts as he alludes to a career which is slowly winding down.
Meanwhile, for Novak Djokovic — the winner of 24 grand slams, the most all-time in the men’s game — Nadal is a major obstacle to the one title he hasn’t won: an Olympic gold medal. The Serb has been open about his desire to win his first gold.
Nadal eked out a win in three sets on Sunday in his first-round match while Djokovic cruised on Saturday in his opening contest. The Spaniard has fought injuries for much of the last two years and his opponent will be favored — but there’s just something different about the Spaniard playing on Roland Garros’ clay.
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The Olympic tennis tournament is underway, but the red clay of Roland Garros is missing some of the sport’s biggest stars, including world no. 1 Jannik Sinner.
While some are sidelined by illnesses and injuries, others are abstaining as a result of the professional circuit’s brutal schedule this summer.
Between the French Open, Wimbledon and the US Open, summer is always a busy season for those chasing an elusive Grand Slam title. Though the rest of the sports world sees the Olympics as the ultimate competition, the Games’ anthem falls flat amidst the prestigious yearly summer tournaments in Paris, London and New York.
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Ben Shelton, the rising 21-year-old US star ranked No. 14 in the world, said the Olympics fall at a tough time in the tournament schedule, as he will be coming off a stint in Europe and wants to prepare for the US Open.
“Having to go back to Europe to play on clay, a different surface – it kind of messes up a few lead-up tournaments to the US Open that I would play if I wasn’t playing the Olympics,” Shelton told reporters in the spring.
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