Love Systems: Overcoming Sticking Points

February 26, 2010 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles

Here’s a great article on overcoming your sticking points by Love Systems Instructor Sheriff:

Sheriff writes:

I’m going to add something here, that you should do EVERY SINGLE MONTH, at least, maybe every week.

I still get value from this exercise, and it takes very little time. However, just knowing this exercise won’t help, you have to actually DO IT.

Take one piece of A4. At the top write “I see a hot girl”. At the bottom write: “we start having sex” (or “she says ‘I do’”, or whatever your actual outcome is).

Then fill in a plausible and detailed explanation of how you got from seeing this chick to being balls deep. Whenever you get to a point where you’re not sure what to write, you’ve found a sticking point.

For the VAST majority of guys I’ve met, this will be:

“I see a hot girl. I go and run some opinion opener from the internet on her. Then, uh.. um. Maybe I tease her? Uh, and, uh.”

BANG. Sticking point identified. Do some research at this point. What comes next? Post a question to the forum. Ask someone what should happen next.

You don’t need to work out the best thing to say – you’re not looking for lines to memorize, and you’re not looking for some kind of magical routine – it’ll never go down the way you’ve planned it anyway. You’re looking for an understanding of a plausible next step. Don’t accept answers like “Then you be an alpha male and she fucks you” – not good enough. Ask for specific sample dialogue. Don’t try and replicate those, don’t try and parrot that shit off, but use them to get an understanding of what and why happens next.

As my own example, the first time I did this, I got to: “we’re making out in the club”, and I was like WTF happens next? So I asked a natural buddy, and he said: “Last time I just told the girl I’d make her a cocktail back at mine”.

What did I do? I went out and spent a far too much money on cocktail alcohol and equipment. Next time I went out, I was making out with this girl, and was like: “So, uh, do you want a cocktail back at mine?”. Answer: “No”. DOH! Asked for more advice on this, was told to make the bounce home gentler and less obvious … and with time, got that shit sorted. Learning how to bounce was a massive sticking point for me, and I hadn’t even realised it – once I had that sorted, I started having a one-night stand. The point being: you won’t get this stuff right first time, but a plausible idea of how to go about it is crucial

Do I use some long-winded and complicated extraction technique now? No, of course not. Now I instinctively know how to bounce, instinctively know the subtleties, and tend to just say: “ok, we’re out of here!”. But the identification of the sticking point through the above exercise (and subsequent ones), the focus on actually closing and getting from A to B is what started accelerating my game.

Key points:

Write personal, detailed, and fictional descriptions of how you went from seeing a girl to fucking her to help you get the process straight in your head, and identify your weak points

Ask for advice any time you find yourself having trouble writing plausible dialogue or action sequences

The point isn’t to prescript the interaction, the point is to identify your sticking points in getting from A to B – it won’t ever go down the way you planned anyway

Don’t accept wishy-washy advice that doesn’t come with plausible detailed examples

Hope this helps – just reading it won’t though – actually TRY IT.

To find out more on overcoming sticking points, check out the Love Systems Sticking Points Interview.