How Your Mission In Life Trumps Inner Game Problems by Doctor Paul
September 20, 2008 by DrPaul
Filed under Articles, Dr Paul, Guest Authors
It’s important to LOOK at yourself from time to time, and examine your mission in life.
Of course when we cover all of the psychology of personal growth in my visual system called mindOS, we learn about a little thing psychoanalysts call Observing Ego. This is the ability to take a step outside yourself, look back and judge how you’re doing in your relationships to others. Observing Ego is also the FIRST skill all human beings have to learn in doing ANY personal growth.
In fact, it is IMPOSSIBLE to grow, change, or evolve without this skill. And it is a LEARNED skill very few of us have the fortune or teaching to cultivate.
Many of you have also asked general questions about your missions in life as men. I know it’s a no-brainer that we all have “missions in life,” but really, how much time have you literally spent imagining, planning, plotting, and discussing your personal mission as a man with those who you might consider your teammates? Very few.
There is a term used in self-help circles called a “mastermind group.” To my experience this is a group of guys who support and advise each other on their lives, their projects, and their growth. All of this is a very good thing, and if you look closely at the community of men who get together to learn about what makes women tick, you see this same kind of phenomenon.
I just had an interesting phone conversation with a guy. He found me through the community, and while he claimed that his main problem was the very first steps of relating to women – approach anxiety.
This guy had been through all the bootcamps and seminars out there, and was frustrated in that he still had a problem even going up to women.
The interesting thing is that he had ALSO been to a therapist for “issues” with anxiety and even had some EMDR done for this (a type of therapy that is the world’s top technology in reversing unhealthy belief systems.)
So he took me to task.
“What’s wrong with me?” he said.
I told him that maybe there really isn’t that much so wrong. Certainly, EMDR could work away at negative beliefs about approaching women, but when it comes right down to it, a moment of COURAGE is absolutely necessary. In that moment there is no one to hold your hand and do it FOR you. YOU have to be the one to take action.
I told him that I sensed that he was falling into this pit of “thinking his way out of anxiety.” Which led me to propose what clinical professionals have all kinds of complicated language to explain. What ultimately I would have to simplify for him (and you) would be this:
THINKING cannot be a cure for anxiety. ACTION is.
The conversation with this guy made me think a lot of course, but we can take a little action right here.
What I realized is that he is right about BOTH the deficits of the community AND the deficits in professional counseling fields when it comes to helping MEN SPECIFICALLY.
Neither can be the other, and neither really KNOWS that much about the other.
Where on the one hand, the men’s community has great goals and really is supportive of guys who are ‘good with women’ hanging up a shingle and simply teaching their own homespun way of “being good with women” – what is going on amounts to purchased friendship. At worst, this is like boys teaching boys how to be men.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s great and admirable to help others with whatever great spirit and optimism you have in side. To be sure. But if I personally was going to pay someone a lot of money I would want something that isn’t as easily available as just going out with my male friends who are pretty good with communicating to women. That’s FREE to me and to anyone who has guy friends or wingmen buddies.
Why should I have to pay for that?
So I had to agree with this guy’s frustration. You can’t pick up books like The Idiot’s Guide to Psychology, and in so doing, envision yourself a psychologist.
Where our conversation got interesting though was when we then also turned to his own therapy and counseling. Websites are not the proper place to substitute for real, bona fide therapy or medical care in person. No way. There’s a reason it’s done in an office and a bigger reason you have to be licensed and accredited to do it. It takes skill, training and experience with REAL patients and cases.
However, this guy was also right that my own professional field tends to use a bunch of clunky terminology and overcomplicated systems and processes that get bogged down in bureaucracy. It’s a Byzantine system of delivery that is nearly impossible to introduce new innovations and ideas to.
What’s worse, the conversation with this guy made it ever more clear to me that in thinking of all the training and experience professionals get in their educations, there really is no specialized field called “men’s psychology.” My own field has a way of excluding men or even treating them as if the same systems and treatments that “work for women” ought to be equally as useful to them.
This is just not true. Men and women are quite equal, and yet different in how their psychology works, and what it needs to feel completely passionate about life.
Many millions of men are suffering for lack of specific attention to their unique needs, a call that to a large degree, my own professional field has not answered.
To realize that it is not only useful, needed, and beneficial, but crucial, primal, and urgent for a man to learn how to be effective with women – well my own field is hampered by stigmas and political correctness as to whether men REALLY need such a thing. They simply look the other way and mutter “men should be able to just figure that out. It makes them look like misogynists if they try teaching or learning that anyway.
Enter the community of men becoming a marketplace.
So on the one hand you have the utterly untrained trying to do the job of professionals (and failing miserably as in the case of this gentleman), and on the other hand you have professionals looking the other way and ignoring a very serious public mental health problem in society.
Add to all this that both essentially ignore the deep importance of having a mission in life as a man, which we thoroughly and scientifically address in my Mature Masculine Power range of products, and you see that even with both the community and therapists out there, we STILL have a massive unmet need to meet.
Which I think solidified for me today a little refinement of my own personal mission. I realized that I am a translator and interpreter between these two worlds – the men’s community and mainstream academia.
In fact, what we teach you at my website for men and the forums there amounts to an uncharted territory that truly blends the two.
One thing the guy I talked to really needed was an understanding of what it really means to be a real man, to go through “initiation.”
In talking about this we also discovered the importance in his life (and any man’s life) of having a TEAM of men who all have similar missions, and he was blown away by how my KWML tactics (King, Warrior, Magician and Lover) don’t just address spotting the right women, but also represents a technology of FRIENDSHIP – how friendship literally makes the world go ‘round, empowers not only your relationships to women, but brings together the very team you need to truly and realistically reach your life’s goals.
Your mission as a man.
The gentleman above learned that in getting COMPETENT professional help, and cultivating friends with whom to go face his fears, what was missing was a sense of “permission” to approach women. Now he could give HIMSELF permission.
This kind of insight only comes from the academic world which sees many hundreds of thousands of patients – but applied in a way that is specific, meant for, and only means something to MEN.
One thing is for sure. I stand behind a statement I make at every seminar: THERE IS A SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM. No matter your problem, you can always refresh yourself as you focus again on your mission in life. Women sense it within you, and you will start to also.






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When Hussain AlMoosawi arrived home, he didn’t recognize anything.
The Emirati photographer, who had spent eight years studying in Australia, returned to the United Arab Emirates (UAE) in 2013. He’d missed a real estate boom of dizzying proportions: not just new buildings, but new districts.
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Initially focusing on industrial landscapes, temporary structures and air conditioning units, he began to notice symmetry in many of the buildings he was photographing, inspiring his current project: facades.
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Since India’s independence from Britain in 1947, the status of English in India has been deeply political – entwined with questions of identity, power, and national direction.
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When India hosted world leaders for the 2023 G20 summit in New Delhi, invitations were sent out from “Bharat” – the Sanskrit or Hindi name for the country – instead of “India,” fueling speculation that the government aims to ultimately phase out the country’s English designation altogether.
Modi’s critics have been quick to note his political motives behind these moves.
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CNN
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A deadly Israeli airstrike on Hezbollah’s stronghold in southern Beirut on Friday has left over a dozen people dead, including a high-ranking Hezbollah commander, sharply escalating the conflict between the two sides and raising fears of all-out war.
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Senior Hezbollah commander Ibrahim Aqil, part of Hezbollah’s elite Radwan Force, was assassinated along with “about 10” other commanders, Israel Defense Forces (IDF) spokesperson Daniel Hagari said, accusing them of planning to raid and occupy communities in Galilee in northern Israel.
Hezbollah confirmed Aqil’s death on Friday, saying he was killed “following a treacherous Israeli assassination operation on 09/20/2024 in the southern suburbs of Beirut.”
According to Hagari, the targeted commanders were “underground underneath a residential building in the heart of the Dahiyeh neighborhood, using civilians as a human shield” at the time of the attack.
Lebanon’s health ministry said at least 14 people were killed and 66 others injured in the airstrike, which leveled a multistory building in a densely populated neighborhood.
Aqil had a $7 million bounty on his head from the United States for his suspected involvement in the 1983 strike on the US Embassy in Beirut, which killed 63 people, as well as the bombing of the Beirut Marine barracks, which killed 241 US personnel later that year.
A CNN team on the ground in Beirut saw a frantic effort to rescue people from underneath the rubble and rush the wounded to hospital. Witnesses said nearby buildings shook for nearly half an hour after the strike, which the IDF said it had carried out at around 4 p.m. local time.
A week of surprise attacks
Friday’s strike marked the fourth consecutive day of surprise attacks on Beirut and other sites across the country, even as Israeli forces continued deadly strikes and operations in Gaza and the occupied West Bank.
The first major attack against Hezbollah this week came Tuesday afternoon when pagers belonging to the militant groups’ members exploded near-simultaneously. The pagers had been used by Hezbollah to communicate after the group’s leader, Hassan Nasrallah, encouraged members to switch to low-tech devices to prevent more of them from being assassinated.
Almost exactly 24 hours later, Lebanon was rocked by a second wave of explosions, after Hezbollah walkie-talkies detonated in Beirut and the south of the country on Wednesday.
At least 37 people were killed, including some children, and more than 3,000 were injured in the twin attacks.
In a United Nations Security Council meeting on Friday, UN human rights chief Volker Turk on Friday warned that the detonation of communication devices could violate international human rights law.
Lebanese Foreign Minister Abdallah Bou Habib and Israeli Ambassador to the UN Danny Danon clashed at the heated meeting, with Bou Habib calling on the council to condemn Israel’s actions and Danon slamming the Lebanese envoy for not mentioning Hezbollah.
Beirut, Lebanon
CNN
—
A deadly Israeli airstrike on Hezbollah’s stronghold in southern Beirut on Friday has left over a dozen people dead, including a high-ranking Hezbollah commander, sharply escalating the conflict between the two sides and raising fears of all-out war.
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Senior Hezbollah commander Ibrahim Aqil, part of Hezbollah’s elite Radwan Force, was assassinated along with “about 10” other commanders, Israel Defense Forces (IDF) spokesperson Daniel Hagari said, accusing them of planning to raid and occupy communities in Galilee in northern Israel.
Hezbollah confirmed Aqil’s death on Friday, saying he was killed “following a treacherous Israeli assassination operation on 09/20/2024 in the southern suburbs of Beirut.”
According to Hagari, the targeted commanders were “underground underneath a residential building in the heart of the Dahiyeh neighborhood, using civilians as a human shield” at the time of the attack.
Lebanon’s health ministry said at least 14 people were killed and 66 others injured in the airstrike, which leveled a multistory building in a densely populated neighborhood.
Aqil had a $7 million bounty on his head from the United States for his suspected involvement in the 1983 strike on the US Embassy in Beirut, which killed 63 people, as well as the bombing of the Beirut Marine barracks, which killed 241 US personnel later that year.
A CNN team on the ground in Beirut saw a frantic effort to rescue people from underneath the rubble and rush the wounded to hospital. Witnesses said nearby buildings shook for nearly half an hour after the strike, which the IDF said it had carried out at around 4 p.m. local time.
A week of surprise attacks
Friday’s strike marked the fourth consecutive day of surprise attacks on Beirut and other sites across the country, even as Israeli forces continued deadly strikes and operations in Gaza and the occupied West Bank.
The first major attack against Hezbollah this week came Tuesday afternoon when pagers belonging to the militant groups’ members exploded near-simultaneously. The pagers had been used by Hezbollah to communicate after the group’s leader, Hassan Nasrallah, encouraged members to switch to low-tech devices to prevent more of them from being assassinated.
Almost exactly 24 hours later, Lebanon was rocked by a second wave of explosions, after Hezbollah walkie-talkies detonated in Beirut and the south of the country on Wednesday.
At least 37 people were killed, including some children, and more than 3,000 were injured in the twin attacks.
In a United Nations Security Council meeting on Friday, UN human rights chief Volker Turk on Friday warned that the detonation of communication devices could violate international human rights law.
Lebanese Foreign Minister Abdallah Bou Habib and Israeli Ambassador to the UN Danny Danon clashed at the heated meeting, with Bou Habib calling on the council to condemn Israel’s actions and Danon slamming the Lebanese envoy for not mentioning Hezbollah.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky will meet US President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris in Washington on Thursday. Leon Neal/Getty Images
CNN
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Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s visit to the White House on Thursday could be his final chance to convince a receptive American president of his country’s war aims.
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The precise details of the “victory plan” Zelensky plans to present in separate meetings to President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are unknown, having been closely held until they are presented to the American leaders.
But according to people briefed on its broad contours, the plan reflects the Ukrainian leader’s urgent appeals for more immediate help countering Russia’s invasion. Zelensky is also poised to push for long-term security guarantees that could withstand changes in American leadership ahead of what is widely expected to be a close presidential election between Harris and former President Donald Trump.
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Biden is usually apt to take his time making decisions about providing Ukraine new capabilities. But with November’s election potentially portending a major change in American approach to the war if Trump were to win, Ukrainian officials — and many American ones — believe there is little time to waste.
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Trump has claimed he will be able to “settle” the war upon taking office and has suggested he’ll end US support for Kyiv’s war effort.
“Those cities are gone, they’re gone, and we continue to give billions of dollars to a man who refused to make a deal, Zelensky. There was no deal that he could have made that wouldn’t have been better than the situation you have right now. You have a country that has been obliterated, not possible to be rebuilt,” Trump said during a campaign speech in Mint Hill, North Carolina, on Wednesday.
Comments like those have lent new weight to Thursday’s Oval Office talks, according to American and European officials, who have described an imperative to surge assistance to Ukraine while Biden is still in office.
As part of Zelensky’s visit, the US is expected to announce a major new security package, thought it will likely delay the shipping of the equipment due to inventory shortages, CNN previously reported according to two US officials. On Wednesday, the US announced a package of $375 million.
The president previewed Zelensky’s visit to the White House a day beforehand, declaring on the margins of the United Nations General Assembly his administration was “determined to ensure that Ukraine has what it needs to prevail in fight for survival.”
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“Tomorrow, I will announce a series of actions to accelerate support for Ukraine’s military – but we know Ukraine’s future victory is about more than what happens on the battlefield, it’s also about what Ukrainians do make the most of a free and independent future, which so many have sacrificed so much for,” he said.
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