A Man Is Measured By The Company He Keeps

August 20, 2008 by  
Filed under Articles, Guest Authors, Psych

Now the first question that must come to your mind while reading this is “Who the hell is Psych and why in the world is this guy posting here?!” The answer?…Thundercat REALLY goofed by choosing me.  So now you’re all stuck with me and will just have to deal.

Here’s what people are saying about me though….

“Psych is pretty good. I’ve seen him in field and know that a lot of people would benefit from his writings.”-White Rabbit

“i think psych would be pretty good. his theory is on-point.”-Elev8

“Psych. He pulls lesbians.”-Compey

“Psych’s gonna blow up in the scene hardcore, i saw this youtube video of him pulling some chick on stilts!”-Millionflame

“PSYCH! One time he got pulled over by a female cop… and he fucked his way out of the ticket!”-Hellmach

“Psych has blue hair. I will work with him any day : )”-Heartwork

“I once heard that Psych opened a hot ass MILF at starbucks by singing “I’M BRINGIN SEXY BACK!” the whole song! He ended up making hot love to her 30 secs later.”-Flame

“I heard Psych amog’d a bear out of eating him and the bear ended up buying him a drink and offering him some raw salmon”-Bill Brasky

But who am I really?  I got into this game about 2 1/2 years back by reading a book I’m sure many are familiar with.  It was actually shown to me by my girlfriend at the time, worst mistake of her life!  Now even though I had a girlfriend I was by no means a “natural”.  I’d spend almost every weekend playing Magic the Gathering…by myself.  I also of course have my sob stories when it comes to women as I’m sure every community guy does.  However that was the past and since then I’ve made my transformation and worked tirelessly on improving myself with women and learning the skill, art, and science of what we all call “Game”.  Since my journey I surrounded myself with like minded individuals to aid me in reaching my full potential, which is really what this article is all about and what I’ll get into now.  You can find more of me by checking out youtube.

The Company We Keep

While I will dabble in techniques and structure of game I really want to go into topics that haven’t been beaten to death by others.  Sorry if you were hoping this would be an article on “Opening”.

One of the most fundamental things for us to realize is that who we surround ourselves with will always affect us.  Exchanges of values, social norms, micro behaviors, and ideologies are constantly being exchanged between yourself and the people you spend time with on a regular basis.  I don’t care how strong your reality is or how sick your inner game is…know that this happens and instead of fighting it, use it to your advantage.

The idea is to build social circles and befriend people that will have a positive impact on your life.  There’s some old advice out there about needing to drop old friends since they might hold you back in your development to be a more high value man.  To an extent this is true, if you have a friend who always makes you feel bad and doesn’t add any value to your life then this really isn’t a friend at all and needs to be dropped.  However it is incredibly important to have friendships with non-community guys just to stay NORMAL.  I think anyone who’s been in this community long enough knows that many guys in the community, while good at heart, can be really weird.  If everyone you know is a community guy, and they are the only people you hang around with, then you’re bound to become weird to…sorry but it’s true.

If you don’t already then make it a necessity to get some cool friends who don’t spend every minute of every day talking about women and the game.  You go out in field a lot anyways correct?  Well befriend some cool guys and develop the persona of “a fun social guy” as opposed to “a pick up artist”.  This is not to say that you don’t want community friends however, some of my best and very close friends are actually community guys.  They give you some great new insights, can really motivate you, and share your passion so you’re bound to be close.

The idea between who you want around as non-community friends and as community friends should be seen in this light though, YOU ARE THE SELECTOR.  So with that said…be selective! Do these guys offer value to your life or do they make you feel bad and consistently hold you back?  This is an incredibly important question to ask yourself but I do want to warn about one pitfall, don’t become the shallow guy that sees everyone as either value givers or value takers.  Everyone’s a person and should be treated with respect.  Also keep in mind the idea of “investing”.  Just recently I met with a guy who was new to the game, many guys treated him poorly but I saw that he had potential and was a normal cool guy.  Within only three months his skill grew so fast that he blew everyone else out of the water and has been someone even I have gone to for advice.  I’m glad to say we’re good friends.

This next thing should go without saying but one of the most crucial things to have for getting good at the game is having mentors.  For the longest time this was a huge problem for me and I struggled to find one.  Recently I really have been blessed by meeting and befriending some of the best guys out there and my skills have incredibly improved, I can’t even stress enough how much of a difference it has made. By befriending guys who you can be around continually, and are better then you, you automatically begin taking on characteristics that improve your game…even if you don’t necessarily talk about game!  Why would anyone want to mentor you though is a question I’m sure many of you are asking right now.  Well it turns out that we actually learn a tremendous deal by teaching others, it’s in someones best interest to be a mentor.  The key factor though for who guys want to teach are those that are COOL, NORMAL, and FUN.  Which is actually the three most powerful attractive frames to have IMO, more on that though possibly another time.  For now if you find a potential mentor don’t just become a value sucker, nothing turns these guys off more.  Instead actually get to know the guys and develop a friendship.  If done right they’ll actually be the ones to start helping you out without you even asking, that might be shocking to some guys but it’s true.

So now you have cool non-community friends to keep you normal, community friends to have fun with and keep you motivated, and mentors to keep you cool and really improve your skills.  Thing is though why did you get into the game in the first place?  I’m hoping your answer had something to do with meeting women.  If that’s the case doesn’t it make sense that you’d want women in your life on a continual basis?

It astounds me how many guys don’t even have one REAL female friend.  They go out almost every night, discuss game to no end, yet at the end of the day have no women in their lives.  If this sounds like you then I hope you just realized a critical mistake you’ve been making.  Instead of always going out to hunt for a new girl make some female friends that you can see on a continual basis.  Do you want to be the guy that constantly has to go into the club and create the illusion of pre-selection or do you actually want to be pre-selected by arriving to the club with women with you already?  Having female friends gives you tons of benefits.  They naturally rub off on you and allow you to be more naturally calibrated towards women, you can pick their brains on female topics that your having trouble with, they give you pre-selection, they introduce you to their hot friends and actually help you get them, and they’re also just a lot of fun.

Your social circles are important and will greatly influence your success in field and the kind of lifestyle you live.  Sometimes you’ll have to be ruthless and sometimes you should give a guy a chance.  As with many things it’s going to be up to you to build your social circle and choose who you want as part of your life, really recognize your self worth and the value of your time.  Also make sure to never forget the incredible value that a true devoted friend has despite any external circumstances.

It’s said that it’s not what you know but who you know…I hope now you understand how this can sometimes apply to the game as well.

-Jarett aka Psych

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Comments

12 Responses to “A Man Is Measured By The Company He Keeps”
  1. AFC Adam says:

    Psych’s a great guy who wakes me up to let him in my hotel room at 2am – AFC Adam

  2. Anonymous Frustated Coward says:

    Befriend a cool guy?
    Community guys are creepy?
    Pick a female’s brain?

    What is this Glamour? Cosmopolitan?

  3. ELEV8 says:

    great article psych! but i have this one burning question that i’ve been trying to get an answer to for the longest and nobody can give me a definitive answer. FLOSSING – before or after you brush?

  4. Psych says:

    “Psych’s a great guy who wakes me up to let him in my hotel room at 2am”

    Haha as I recall I got my ass guilted and reframed by all of you!…damn you using the power of the well ;)

  5. amanda says:

    Maybe if you community guys read more glamour and cosmo you would get further with women. All the technical stuff works but sometimes it’s best to just keep things simple.

  6. Doc Holliday says:

    I met Psych in Orlando. He’s one of the coolest and most down to earth guys I’ve met in the community.

    -Doc Holliday

  7. Sinn says:

    Psych is the shit.

    And he’s got mad stilts skills.

    S

  8. WhiteRabbit says:

    good job man! p.s. – psych’s hair reminds me of a marvel universe character

  9. Psych says:

    Doc Holiday, Sinn, really miss you guys. We need to all get together again for some more crazy times, lets make this happen

  10. Justin Time says:

    What is it with Magic The Gathering and Pickup? I’ve run into 3 or 4 other guys in the community that used to play, and I would have bet anything I was the only one that had a secret love of Magic.

  11. J says:

    Although there are a lot of forums out there. How do we find a mentor if our methods are different than others? Does it matter or should we just find someone we get along with that is better than us to help us?

    I was under the impression that we should hang out with people at the same skill level as us and push each other and learn together. I guess this doesn’t really make sense!

    The only guys I know I’d love to learn from are the instructors I had at my bootcamp…but as much as they helped me, I’ve learned that a lot of these guys really do care about the $ more than the student.

  12. Bruce Min says:

    Nice to meet you, psych.

    No pun intended :)

    Good luck with everything guys, I’m watching out for you.

    -Bruce

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