Overcoming Shyness

October 15, 2007 by  
Filed under Articles

Here is a FACT:

About 5.5% of the male population in America never marries.

Of this group, about 50% of these men are homosexuals.

Then, half of the group of men that remains are composed entirely of men who, for a variety of personal reasons, have chosen on a voluntary basis not to marry.

Guess what that means?

It means that 1.5% of all American Males have not voluntarily chosen to remain single and never married – but remain that way because the are SEVERELY shy.

Do you know what that means?

It means that about 1.7 MILLION men, currently residing in the United States, will never marry OR experience any form of intimate sexual contact with a woman…

All due to their SHYNESS.

Scary, huh?

Let me ask you: Do YOU think you’re going to be one of those 1.7 million men?

The kind that suffers quietly, yearning for intimate contact with women, yet never finding it?

Let me ask you something… does this sound like you?

  • You feel women are more privileged than men.
  • You are in below-average physical shape.
  • You tend to be less interested in sports than other men.
  • You place great, often disproportionate importance on physical beauty (especially facial beauty).
  • You are not very interested in male friendships.
  • Have a hard time expressing your emotions.
  • You are sometimes passive aggressive.
  • You tend to be melancholic.
  • You grew up with a tense, nervous, angry and/or two-faced mother who disallowed dates with girls.
  • You are often very serious.
  • You are easily upset.

News Flash: If this sounds like you, then I have some bad news… you
are suffering from a severe form of shyness – SOCIAL SHYNESS!

This is the most painful and life-crippling kind of shyness there is.

Understand: This type of severe social shyness can be found among
people of all ages and of both sexes. However, this problem impacts far
more seriously upon men than it does women.

To put it bluntly, women adapt better to their shyness than men do.

A shy woman will still be approached by men who like her. Whereas the
shy man very rarely – if ever – is able to meet a woman he finds

Not only that, but heterosexually inactive men have long been known to
be vulnerable to all manner of serious and often bizarre pathologies.

Because our society places such a heavy burden on men to assume an
assertive role in all manner of social situations (like being an "alpha
male" or what have you), this puts men who are shy in a very unenviable

To make this worse – there is the fact that a man’s shyness can be
increased, and his self confidence diminished, due to the fact that
women do the lion’s share of the rejecting in all male/female

In a recent study, it was found that 90% of all divorces are sought by
wives – not husbands! And not only that, but two-thirds of all
break-ups by couples are instigated by the female partner, not the male!

Because of this, even normally self-confident men have been known to suffer bouts of social shyness and low self-esteem.

(And women wonder why so many men aren’t "in touch" with their feelings!)

So as you can see – shyness is a REAL problem!

It can literally cause you to never experience any type of true
happiness in life because it keeps you from enjoying intimacy with a


There is hope.

You must understand that shyness is a LEARNED behavior. You weren’t
born shy. You can actually untrain your shyness and improve your
ability to interact with both women and men.

First of all, it is important to know that you are not alone!

When you’re suffering by yourself, it’s easy to think that the entire
world is against you, and that you are the only one in pain.

But there are others out there just like you, just as lost, with no one to talk to about it.

So know that you’re not special – this type of shyness is actually quite common!

The second is that there is a cure to your shyness.

See, shyness is the exact opposite of self-control. A shy person cannot
make choices. They lack the self discipline and self control necessary
for acting in accordance with his own values and wishes.

For instance, let’s say you want to meet a girl you find attractive. What happens?


No matter how badly you want to meet her, for some reason, you are unable to do so.

You have NO CONTROL.

So how do you switch things around?  How do you regain control?  How do you overcome your shyness?

Well, this is a very big subject, one too big for a single article.  But I will say this – the more you do something, the easier it becomes.  If you can force yourself to meet people, as much as possible, eventually your shyness can dissipate.

Just the act of saying "Hi" to people every once in a while can help you to become more used to being social.  Instead of looking at every interaction with a girl as a "do or die" situation, what if it was just a chance to have fun and practice?  No pressure.  You’re just seeing what happens.

In fact – the bootcamp I outline in my book, The Art Of Approaching, is designed specifically to help men overcome their shyness around women.  I know it helped me – I used to be PAINFULLY shy around women!

So at the end of the day, know that shyness is a CHOICE.  You don’t have to be shy if you don’t want to.  You just need to put in a little work.

Get Your Free Guide Here!


11 Responses to “Overcoming Shyness”
  1. Dr. Pepsi says:

    Thundercat is licking his chops thinking about the marketing possibilities.

  2. Thundy's friend says:

    I like turtles

  3. Thundy's friend says:

    I like turtles

  4. Thundy's friend says:

    I like turtles

  5. Guest says:

    Another bunch of rehash @#$% material. Do you seriously have anything NEW? At all?

  6. Red_Apple says:

    I’m not shy at all… so not shy, that I will speak up for your readership.

    POST THE PIX OFF NEIL STRAUSS’ party and some reviews of pick up shit, which you’re good at.

  7. Pete says:

    What social anxiety site did you crib this off? I got a strong sense of deja vu reading this.

    By the way, someone this shy will likely have very little success jumping straight into seduction materials. They have too much more basic baggage to deal with first.

  8. Adam says:

    Thank you for the article and your kind words of wisdom. It is indeed all about choice. Deciding that you are going to do something and sticking with it despite failure is the key to seduction and everything else in life. Knowing that life is in your control but it requires effort and occasional failure to get to where you want to go is key.

  9. s says:

    just get drunk and find a hooker

  10. Disgusted says:

    Google love-shy and Gilmartin and you’ll see where he got it. No citations = plagarism.

  11. Switchdrift says:

    Can anyone recommend great material for not falling into the divorced side of the 50% divorce rate? My friend says that the rate increases to 70% for the second marriage. He divorced his first wife after 15 years but is reluctant to get married again due to those figures. He’s a guy who’s good with the ladies and has had to break up with several cool sporty chicks (some with teenage kids of their own) because he wanted to take it really slow before committing again whereas they wanted to escalate to the full meal deal.

    That figure of 90% of divorces being instigated by women jives with what I’ve seen. Women will flake out on anyone and everyone at all stages of life.
    How do we filter out women who are not good marriage material? Overcoming shyness and attracting women is the first essential step I am taking. Who will come up with solutions for the next step of maintaining relationships with worthy women? Just because “it’s always the guy’s fault” doesn’t mean guys aren’t lucky for not ending up with many of those women.

    The moral of the story is what all these master PUA’s keep telling us: don’t look for fullfillment only in women. Of course a lot of people occassionally don’t follow their own advice. . .
    Here’s another moral: don’t worry about dying alone because you’ll be damn lucky to have your woman or kids or other loved ones at your bedside when you croak. Look for fullfillment in other areas of life too. If you’re sarging four nights a week and you’re not falling behind in some aspect of your life then either sarging is your career in large part (like Mystery, Thundercat presumably, Tyler Durden, etc.) or you’re seriously neglecting other things you’ve always wanted to do. Or you play MMORPG’s.

    So learn how to attract women. And then learn how to filter out the mismatches.

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