How To Get Rid Of Neediness
June 22, 2007 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
So a guy going by the handle Green over on mASF had a question about overcoming neediness…
Green
Recently I thought about times when i had conversations with girls,and analysed what i have said in those convos , i realised that I sometimes act needy.ItВґs very difficult to see your needyness yourself unless someone tells you or you think back and realize it. And then itВґs tooo late!
How do you guys dust off all your needyness that you have towards women?
IВґm grateful for any responses and advice that anyone has!
I found this question to be quite interesting because, well, I think a lot of guys suffer from this.
When talking to a woman, SO MANY guys are like a starving dog, wagging their tails, excited that they might actually get laid.
And though it might not be obvious to them, it’s obvious to pretty much everyone else.
Other than approach anxiety, I’d say learning to overcome neediness is the biggest obstacle a newbie has to face.
The best way, in my opinion, to get rid of neediness is to shift your focus away from that which is causing you to be needy.
First of all, what do you feel you need?
Is it sex? Validation? Emotional connection? All of the above? Figure that out first. What is it that’s causing you to be needy?
For most guys, once they get the sense that they might actually have a chance of having sex with a girl, it’s like a slab of meat has just been thrown to a hungry dog. They pounce on it, because they want it so bad!
And when you go after something so directly, it can scare people off.
So if you notice you’re getting needy because you want to have sex, shift your focus to something else! Instead of looking to get this girl into bed, say to yourself "You know what? Let’s forget about that for now, and just focus on getting to know her (or have fun with her)."
Once you shift your focus, you can start to relax, because the "pressure to get her into bed" will disappear.
Another way to do this is to find something that fulfills your need. Ever notice how married guys or guys with girlfriends seem to attract women easier than single guys? That’s because they’re getting their sex needs fulfilled, so they tend to relax around girls, and that relaxed attitude helps make the girls attracted to them – because they naturally tease them, joke with them, and have fun with them.
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The Oktoberfest beer festival in Munich will remain shut on Wednesday until at least 5 pm (1500 GMT) after police said they discovered explosives in a residential building in the north of the city that caught fire and left one person dead.
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As part of a major operation that police earlier said posed no danger to the public, special forces were investigating an area in the north of Munich where Bild newspaper and multiple other reports said shots and explosions had been heard.
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Police said the residential building had been deliberately set on fire in a family dispute and one person who was found there had died and another was missing, but not believed to be in danger.
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Special forces had to be brought in to defuse booby traps found in the building, according to police.
“We are currently investigating all possibilities. Possible connections to other locations in Munich are being examined, including the Theresienwiese (where the Oktoberfest is located),” said Munich police on the WhatsApp messaging service.
“For this reason, the opening of the festival grounds has been delayed,” police added.
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Michelle Pfeiffer shares she’s now a grandmother
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Hollywood star Michelle Pfeiffer has announced that she has become a grandmother, and spoken about how it has affected her working life.
Speaking on the “Smartless” podcast on Monday, three-time Oscar nominee Pfeiffer told hosts Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and Will Arnett that having a grandchild was “heaven.”
“I’ve been very quiet about it and it is – it’s heaven. It’s ridiculous,” said Pfeiffer, 67, who has an adopted daughter Claudia Rose and a son named John Henry.
“And if I had known that I was going to be a grandmother, I wouldn’t have taken on so much work, but I’ve enjoyed everything and I’m really grateful,” she said.
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“I love each of these projects,” said Pfeiffer, referencing her recent work on projects including “Yellowstone” spin-off series “The Madison” on Paramount+, Christmas comedy “Oh. What. Fun” and the TV adaptation of Rufi Thorpe’s novel “Margo’s Got Money Troubles.”
“I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful because I love acting… in fact, I probably, enjoy it more now than I ever have because I’m sort of more relaxed with it,” said Pfeiffer.
The Hollywood star has had a long and storied career both in movies and on TV, including appearances in “Scarface” (1983), “Batman Returns” (1992) and Showtime series “The First Lady” (2022).
“I don’t really have time to be thinking about anything but the task at hand,” she said, highlighting the fact that she also set up a fragrance company a few years ago.
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LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – APRIL 14: Michelle Pfeiffer arrives at Showtime’s FYC event and premiere for ‘The First Lady’ at DGA Theater Complex on April 14, 2022 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/WireImage)
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“But when I had all these acting jobs coming up, I thought, ‘Okay, okay, how are you going to manage this and have a life?’ Because that hasn’t always been easy for me. I’m an all or nothing kind of girl,” added Pfeiffer.
“I always like taking on challenges and then I get into it and it’s sort of sink or swim and for whatever reason I kind of feed on that,” she said, before going on to suggest that her priorities have shifted recently.
“I don’t have the time nor the desire to go that deep for that long and not be present,” said Pfeiffer.
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