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How To Get Rid Of Neediness

June 22, 2007 by  
Filed under Tips & Tricks

So a guy going by the handle Green over on mASF had a question about overcoming neediness…

Green
Recently I thought about times when i had conversations with girls,and analysed what i have said in those convos , i realised that I sometimes act needy.

ItВґs very difficult to see your needyness yourself unless someone tells you or you think back and realize it. And then itВґs tooo late!

How do you guys dust off all your needyness that you have towards women?

IВґm grateful for any responses and advice that anyone has!

I found this question to be quite interesting because, well, I think a lot of guys suffer from this.

When talking to a woman, SO MANY guys are like a starving dog, wagging their tails, excited that they might actually get laid.

And though it might not be obvious to them, it’s obvious to pretty much everyone else.

Other than approach anxiety, I’d say learning to overcome neediness is the biggest obstacle a newbie has to face.

The best way, in my opinion, to get rid of neediness is to shift your focus away from that which is causing you to be needy.

First of all, what do you feel you need?

Is it sex?  Validation?  Emotional connection?  All of the above?  Figure that out first.  What is it that’s causing you to be needy?

For most guys, once they get the sense that they might actually have a chance of having sex with a girl, it’s like a slab of meat has just been thrown to a hungry dog.  They pounce on it, because they want it so bad!

And when you go after something so directly, it can scare people off.

So if you notice you’re getting needy because you want to have sex, shift your focus to something else!  Instead of looking to get this girl into bed, say to yourself "You know what?  Let’s forget about that for now, and just focus on getting to know her (or have fun with her)."

Once you shift your focus, you can start to relax, because the "pressure to get her into bed" will disappear.

Another way to do this is to find something that fulfills your need.  Ever notice how married guys or guys with girlfriends seem to attract women easier than single guys?  That’s because they’re getting their sex needs fulfilled, so they tend to relax around girls, and that relaxed attitude helps make the girls attracted to them – because they naturally tease them, joke with them, and have fun with them.

Get Your Free Guide Here!

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    Tourists take photographs on the Rialto Bridge in Venice, Italy, on Saturday, April 8, 2023. Italy’s upcoming budget outlook will probably incorporate a higher growth forecast for 2023 followed by a worsened outlook for subsequent years, according to people familiar with the matter. Photographer: Andrea Merola/Bloomberg via Getty Images
    Rising waters and overtourism are killing Venice. Now the fight is on to save its soul

    “Since the beginning of the year, we have issued a total of 1,136 orders of expulsion for incidents of degradation and uncivilized behavior,” Venice local police deputy commander Gianni Franzoi said in a statement shared with CNN.

    Poor visitor behavior is one of the worst byproducts of overtourism, Franzoi said, and incidents are on the rise.

    In July 2024, an Australian man was fined and expelled for diving off the Rialto Bridge after his friends posted about it on social media.

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    Aerial view of the plagued ghost island of Poveglia in the Venetian lagoon
    ‘Haunted’ Venice island to become a locals-only haven where tourists are banned

    Venice’s authorities have been trying to balance the need for visitor income with residents’ demands for a city that works for them.

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    A couple from the United Kingdom had to cut their vacation in Venice short after being caught swimming in the Grand Canal.

    The 35-year-old British man and his 25-year-old Romanian girlfriend were forced to return to their home in the UK on Thursday, the same day they arrived in the city, after gondoliers reported them to local police for taking a dip in the canal.

    The pair were fined €450 ($529) each and expelled from Venice for 48 hours, marking the 1,136th such sanction to be handed down to badly behaved tourists in the city so far this year, according to the Venice City Police.

    The unnamed couple took the plunge near the Accademia bridge near St. Mark’s Square and gondoliers at the Rio San Vidal kiosk immediately called authorities, who removed them from the water.

    “I thank the gondoliers for their cooperation and timely reporting,” said Venice Security Councillor Elisabetta Pesce in a statement published by city authorities on Friday.
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    “Venice must be defended from those who disrespect it: protecting the city means ensuring decorum for residents and visitors who experience it with civility.”

    Swimming in the Venice canals is prohibited for a variety of reasons, including the intense boat traffic and the cleanliness — or lack thereof — of the water, according to the city’s tourism ministry.

    Of the 1,136 orders of expulsion from the city so far this year, about 10 were for swimming.

    Related article
    Tourists take photographs on the Rialto Bridge in Venice, Italy, on Saturday, April 8, 2023. Italy’s upcoming budget outlook will probably incorporate a higher growth forecast for 2023 followed by a worsened outlook for subsequent years, according to people familiar with the matter. Photographer: Andrea Merola/Bloomberg via Getty Images
    Rising waters and overtourism are killing Venice. Now the fight is on to save its soul

    “Since the beginning of the year, we have issued a total of 1,136 orders of expulsion for incidents of degradation and uncivilized behavior,” Venice local police deputy commander Gianni Franzoi said in a statement shared with CNN.

    Poor visitor behavior is one of the worst byproducts of overtourism, Franzoi said, and incidents are on the rise.

    In July 2024, an Australian man was fined and expelled for diving off the Rialto Bridge after his friends posted about it on social media.

    The year before, two French tourists were fined and expelled for skinny dipping in the canal under the moonlight. In August 2022, a German man was fined and expelled for surfing in the canal.

    Related article
    Aerial view of the plagued ghost island of Poveglia in the Venetian lagoon
    ‘Haunted’ Venice island to become a locals-only haven where tourists are banned

    Venice’s authorities have been trying to balance the need for visitor income with residents’ demands for a city that works for them.

    Day trippers now pay a €10 entrance fee on summer weekends and during busy periods throughout the year.

    The city has also banned tour groups of more than 25 people, loudspeakers and megaphones, and even standing on narrow streets to listen to tour guides.

    “It was necessary to establish a system of penalties that would effectively deter potential violations,” Pesce said when the ordinance was passed in February.

    “Our goal remains to combat all forms of irregularities related to overtourism in the historic lagoon city center,” she added.

    “The new rules for groups accompanied by guides encourage a more sustainable form of tourism, while also ensuring greater protection and safety in the city and better balancing the needs of Venice residents and visitors.”

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    Tourists fined and banned from Venice for swimming in canal
    [url=https://trip-scan.co]трипскан[/url]
    A couple from the United Kingdom had to cut their vacation in Venice short after being caught swimming in the Grand Canal.

    The 35-year-old British man and his 25-year-old Romanian girlfriend were forced to return to their home in the UK on Thursday, the same day they arrived in the city, after gondoliers reported them to local police for taking a dip in the canal.

    The pair were fined €450 ($529) each and expelled from Venice for 48 hours, marking the 1,136th such sanction to be handed down to badly behaved tourists in the city so far this year, according to the Venice City Police.

    The unnamed couple took the plunge near the Accademia bridge near St. Mark’s Square and gondoliers at the Rio San Vidal kiosk immediately called authorities, who removed them from the water.

    “I thank the gondoliers for their cooperation and timely reporting,” said Venice Security Councillor Elisabetta Pesce in a statement published by city authorities on Friday.
    https://trip-scan.co
    трипскан
    “Venice must be defended from those who disrespect it: protecting the city means ensuring decorum for residents and visitors who experience it with civility.”

    Swimming in the Venice canals is prohibited for a variety of reasons, including the intense boat traffic and the cleanliness — or lack thereof — of the water, according to the city’s tourism ministry.

    Of the 1,136 orders of expulsion from the city so far this year, about 10 were for swimming.

    Related article
    Tourists take photographs on the Rialto Bridge in Venice, Italy, on Saturday, April 8, 2023. Italy’s upcoming budget outlook will probably incorporate a higher growth forecast for 2023 followed by a worsened outlook for subsequent years, according to people familiar with the matter. Photographer: Andrea Merola/Bloomberg via Getty Images
    Rising waters and overtourism are killing Venice. Now the fight is on to save its soul

    “Since the beginning of the year, we have issued a total of 1,136 orders of expulsion for incidents of degradation and uncivilized behavior,” Venice local police deputy commander Gianni Franzoi said in a statement shared with CNN.

    Poor visitor behavior is one of the worst byproducts of overtourism, Franzoi said, and incidents are on the rise.

    In July 2024, an Australian man was fined and expelled for diving off the Rialto Bridge after his friends posted about it on social media.

    The year before, two French tourists were fined and expelled for skinny dipping in the canal under the moonlight. In August 2022, a German man was fined and expelled for surfing in the canal.

    Related article
    Aerial view of the plagued ghost island of Poveglia in the Venetian lagoon
    ‘Haunted’ Venice island to become a locals-only haven where tourists are banned

    Venice’s authorities have been trying to balance the need for visitor income with residents’ demands for a city that works for them.

    Day trippers now pay a €10 entrance fee on summer weekends and during busy periods throughout the year.

    The city has also banned tour groups of more than 25 people, loudspeakers and megaphones, and even standing on narrow streets to listen to tour guides.

    “It was necessary to establish a system of penalties that would effectively deter potential violations,” Pesce said when the ordinance was passed in February.

    “Our goal remains to combat all forms of irregularities related to overtourism in the historic lagoon city center,” she added.

    “The new rules for groups accompanied by guides encourage a more sustainable form of tourism, while also ensuring greater protection and safety in the city and better balancing the needs of Venice residents and visitors.”

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