How To Get Rid Of Neediness
June 22, 2007 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
So a guy going by the handle Green over on mASF had a question about overcoming neediness…
Green
Recently I thought about times when i had conversations with girls,and analysed what i have said in those convos , i realised that I sometimes act needy.ItВґs very difficult to see your needyness yourself unless someone tells you or you think back and realize it. And then itВґs tooo late!
How do you guys dust off all your needyness that you have towards women?
IВґm grateful for any responses and advice that anyone has!
I found this question to be quite interesting because, well, I think a lot of guys suffer from this.
When talking to a woman, SO MANY guys are like a starving dog, wagging their tails, excited that they might actually get laid.
And though it might not be obvious to them, it’s obvious to pretty much everyone else.
Other than approach anxiety, I’d say learning to overcome neediness is the biggest obstacle a newbie has to face.
The best way, in my opinion, to get rid of neediness is to shift your focus away from that which is causing you to be needy.
First of all, what do you feel you need?
Is it sex? Validation? Emotional connection? All of the above? Figure that out first. What is it that’s causing you to be needy?
For most guys, once they get the sense that they might actually have a chance of having sex with a girl, it’s like a slab of meat has just been thrown to a hungry dog. They pounce on it, because they want it so bad!
And when you go after something so directly, it can scare people off.
So if you notice you’re getting needy because you want to have sex, shift your focus to something else! Instead of looking to get this girl into bed, say to yourself "You know what? Let’s forget about that for now, and just focus on getting to know her (or have fun with her)."
Once you shift your focus, you can start to relax, because the "pressure to get her into bed" will disappear.
Another way to do this is to find something that fulfills your need. Ever notice how married guys or guys with girlfriends seem to attract women easier than single guys? That’s because they’re getting their sex needs fulfilled, so they tend to relax around girls, and that relaxed attitude helps make the girls attracted to them – because they naturally tease them, joke with them, and have fun with them.
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It’s no secret how President Donald Trump feels about sports teams turning away from Native American mascots. He’s repeatedly called for the return of the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians, claiming their recent rebrands were part of a “woke” agenda designed to erase history.
But one surprising team has really gotten the president’s attention: the Massapequa Chiefs.
The Long Island school district has refused to change its logo and name under a mandate from New York state banning schools from using team mascots appropriating Indigenous culture. Schools were given two years to rebrand, but Massapequa is the lone holdout, having missed the June 30 deadline to debut a new logo.
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The district lost an initial lawsuit it filed against the state but now has the federal government on its side. In May, Trump’s Department of Education intervened on the district’s behalf, claiming the state’s mascot ban is itself discriminatory.
Massapequa’s Chiefs logo — an American Indian wearing a yellow feathered headdress — is expected to still be prominently displayed when the fall sports season kicks off soon, putting the quiet Long Island hamlet at the center of a political firestorm.
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The district is now a key “battleground,” said Oliver Roberts, a Massapequa alum and the lawyer representing the school board in its fresh lawsuit against New York claiming that the ban is unconstitutional and discriminatory.
The Trump administration claims New York’s mascot ban violates Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits recipients of federal funds from engaging in discriminatory behavior based on race, color or national origin — teeing up a potentially precedent-setting fight.
The intervention on behalf of Massapequa follows a pattern for a White House that has aggressively applied civil rights protections to police “reverse discrimination” and coerced schools and universities into policy concessions by withholding federal funds.
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• Zelensky in Washington: European leaders will join Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky at the White House, as he meets with US President Donald Trump this afternoon. Trump said Zelensky must agree to some of Russia’s conditions — including that Ukraine cede Crimea and agree never to join NATO — for the war to end.
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But for Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, today’s meeting at the White House will surely trigger awkward memories of that very public clash with the US President almost six months ago. Navigating the treacherous waters in which he finds himself today will be no easier.
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Increasingly, it appears likely he will be told to give up land in exchange for some sort of security guarantees.
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Increasingly, it appears likely he will be told to give up land in exchange for some sort of security guarantees.
The land side of that “deal” will be obvious. It can be drawn on a map. Crimea: gone, says Trump. Donetsk: give all of it up, says Putin, apparently with Trump’s blessing.
But the security guarantees? That’s where far more challenging ideas, like credibility, come into play. Could Zelensky rely on the US to deliver on some NATO Article 5-type promise, to defend Ukraine if Russia breaches any peace agreement?
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If he chose the latter, would the US President immediately end all remaining American support for Ukraine, in terms of military aid and intelligence sharing, for instance?
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The land side of that “deal” will be obvious. It can be drawn on a map. Crimea: gone, says Trump. Donetsk: give all of it up, says Putin, apparently with Trump’s blessing.
But the security guarantees? That’s where far more challenging ideas, like credibility, come into play. Could Zelensky rely on the US to deliver on some NATO Article 5-type promise, to defend Ukraine if Russia breaches any peace agreement?
Putin himself might even see an opportunity to further weaken the West, by testing any such guarantees, confident they are a bluff he could call. But all that would be for the future.
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If he chose the latter, would the US President immediately end all remaining American support for Ukraine, in terms of military aid and intelligence sharing, for instance?
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It is an almost impossibly hard choice before him.
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When British traders landed on India’s shores in the 1600s, they arrived in search of spices and silk but stayed for centuries – leaving behind a legacy that would shape the nation long after their colonial exploitation ended: the English language.
Over the centuries, English seeped into the very fabric of Indian life – first as a tool of commerce, then as the language of law and, eventually, a marker of privilege.
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Now, after more than a decade of Hindu-nationalist rule, Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) is mounting perhaps the most significant challenge yet to the language’s place in India.
“Those who speak English will soon feel ashamed,” Home Minister Amit Shah said last month, igniting a heated debate about national identity and social mobility in the polyglot nation of 1.4 billion.
While Shah did not mention India’s former colonial masters, he declared that “the languages of our country are the jewels of our culture” – and that without them, “we cease to be truly Indian.”
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Spoken behind the walls of colonial forts and offices, English in India was at first the language of ledgers and treaties.
But as British rule expanded from the ports of Gujarat to the palaces of Delhi, it became the lingua franca of the colonial elite.
At independence, India faced a dilemma. With hundreds of languages and dialects spoken across its vast landscape, its newly appointed leaders grappled with the question of which one should represent the new nation.
Hindi, the predominant language in the north, was put forward as a candidate for official language.
But strong resistance from non-Hindi-speaking regions – especially in the south – meant English would remain only as a temporary link to unite the country. It’s a legacy that endures to this day – and still rankles some.
“I subscribe to the view that English is the language of the colonial masters,” Pradeep Bahirwani, a retired corporate executive from the southern city of Bengaluru, said, adding: “Our national language should be a language which… has got roots in India.”
Since India’s independence from Britain in 1947, the status of English in India has been deeply political – entwined with questions of identity, power, and national direction.
Today, English is one of several official languages in India, spoken by about 10% of the population. Hindi is the first language for around 44% of citizens, according to the 2011 census.
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But in recent years, Modi’s BJP has placed particular emphasis on promoting Hindi and reducing the use of English in public life.
The prime minister almost never delivers speeches in English, preferring Hindi for national addresses such as his monthly radio program. His administration has encouraged officials to use Hindi on social media and in government correspondence – though, after criticism from non-Hindi-speaking states, clarified that this was intended mainly for the Hindi belt in the north.
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When India hosted world leaders for the 2023 G20 summit in New Delhi, invitations were sent out from “Bharat” – the Sanskrit or Hindi name for the country – instead of “India,” fueling speculation that the government aims to ultimately phase out the country’s English designation altogether.
Modi’s critics have been quick to note his political motives behind these moves.
With its roots in the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), a right-wing organization that advocates Hindu hegemony within India, the BJP’s language policies resonate with many in a country where nearly 80% of people are Hindu.
Analysts say the BJP is seeking to capitalize on this demographic by promoting language policies that strengthen its support base in the north.
According to Rita Kothari, an English professor from Ashoka University, the government “is certainly interested in homogenizing the country and making Hindi more widespread.”
But that policy can also backfire – in part because many regions, such as Marathi-speaking Maharashtra in the west – are staunchly proud of their local language.
The violent clashes in the state’s megacity Mumbai earlier this month were sparked by the regional government’s controversial decision to make Hindi a compulsory third language in public primary schools.
Pushback and protest has also been especially strong in the south, where English and regional languages such as Tamil, Telugu, and Kannada are valued as symbols of local identity and autonomy.
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Two beloved decades-old parks — Dinosaur Park and Storybook Island — have recently been upgraded to be disability accessible. Wheelchair-friendly Dinosaur Park includes seven life-size dinosaur statues and panoramic city views. At Storybook Island, six pieces of playground equipment are wheelchair accessible and have Braille panels and sensory panels for children with autism. The park is renowned for fairy tale character playsets, an antique carousel and a miniature train. Admission to both parks is free.
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Mountain bikers and hikers favor the panoramic views from trails within the 150-acre Skyline Wilderness Area, or from spots along the more than 20 miles of trails in Hanson-Larsen Memorial Park, where M Hill pays tribute to science and engineering university South Dakota Mines. All of these trails are located within city limits.
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It’s no secret how President Donald Trump feels about sports teams turning away from Native American mascots. He’s repeatedly called for the return of the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians, claiming their recent rebrands were part of a “woke” agenda designed to erase history.
But one surprising team has really gotten the president’s attention: the Massapequa Chiefs.
The Long Island school district has refused to change its logo and name under a mandate from New York state banning schools from using team mascots appropriating Indigenous culture. Schools were given two years to rebrand, but Massapequa is the lone holdout, having missed the June 30 deadline to debut a new logo.
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The district lost an initial lawsuit it filed against the state but now has the federal government on its side. In May, Trump’s Department of Education intervened on the district’s behalf, claiming the state’s mascot ban is itself discriminatory.
Massapequa’s Chiefs logo — an American Indian wearing a yellow feathered headdress — is expected to still be prominently displayed when the fall sports season kicks off soon, putting the quiet Long Island hamlet at the center of a political firestorm.
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The district is now a key “battleground,” said Oliver Roberts, a Massapequa alum and the lawyer representing the school board in its fresh lawsuit against New York claiming that the ban is unconstitutional and discriminatory.
The Trump administration claims New York’s mascot ban violates Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits recipients of federal funds from engaging in discriminatory behavior based on race, color or national origin — teeing up a potentially precedent-setting fight.
The intervention on behalf of Massapequa follows a pattern for a White House that has aggressively applied civil rights protections to police “reverse discrimination” and coerced schools and universities into policy concessions by withholding federal funds.
“Our goal is to assist nationally,” Roberts said. “It’s us putting forward our time and effort to try and assist with this national movement and push back against the woke bureaucrats trying to cancel our country’s history and tradition.”
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• Zelensky in Washington: Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has arrived in Washington, DC, where he will be joined by key European leaders when he meets with Donald Trump this afternoon. Trump says Zelensky must agree to some of Russia’s conditions — including that Ukraine cede Crimea and agree never to join NATO — for the war to end.
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• Change in tactics: Trump is now focused on securing a peace deal without pursuing a ceasefire due to his progress with Putin, Witkoff said. In seeking this deal, Trump has backed away from his threat of new sanctions on Moscow, despite calls to impose more economic pressure.
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It’s no secret how President Donald Trump feels about sports teams turning away from Native American mascots. He’s repeatedly called for the return of the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians, claiming their recent rebrands were part of a “woke” agenda designed to erase history.
But one surprising team has really gotten the president’s attention: the Massapequa Chiefs.
The Long Island school district has refused to change its logo and name under a mandate from New York state banning schools from using team mascots appropriating Indigenous culture. Schools were given two years to rebrand, but Massapequa is the lone holdout, having missed the June 30 deadline to debut a new logo.
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The district lost an initial lawsuit it filed against the state but now has the federal government on its side. In May, Trump’s Department of Education intervened on the district’s behalf, claiming the state’s mascot ban is itself discriminatory.
Massapequa’s Chiefs logo — an American Indian wearing a yellow feathered headdress — is expected to still be prominently displayed when the fall sports season kicks off soon, putting the quiet Long Island hamlet at the center of a political firestorm.
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The district is now a key “battleground,” said Oliver Roberts, a Massapequa alum and the lawyer representing the school board in its fresh lawsuit against New York claiming that the ban is unconstitutional and discriminatory.
The Trump administration claims New York’s mascot ban violates Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits recipients of federal funds from engaging in discriminatory behavior based on race, color or national origin — teeing up a potentially precedent-setting fight.
The intervention on behalf of Massapequa follows a pattern for a White House that has aggressively applied civil rights protections to police “reverse discrimination” and coerced schools and universities into policy concessions by withholding federal funds.
“Our goal is to assist nationally,” Roberts said. “It’s us putting forward our time and effort to try and assist with this national movement and push back against the woke bureaucrats trying to cancel our country’s history and tradition.”
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It’s no secret how President Donald Trump feels about sports teams turning away from Native American mascots. He’s repeatedly called for the return of the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians, claiming their recent rebrands were part of a “woke” agenda designed to erase history.
But one surprising team has really gotten the president’s attention: the Massapequa Chiefs.
The Long Island school district has refused to change its logo and name under a mandate from New York state banning schools from using team mascots appropriating Indigenous culture. Schools were given two years to rebrand, but Massapequa is the lone holdout, having missed the June 30 deadline to debut a new logo.
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The district lost an initial lawsuit it filed against the state but now has the federal government on its side. In May, Trump’s Department of Education intervened on the district’s behalf, claiming the state’s mascot ban is itself discriminatory.
Massapequa’s Chiefs logo — an American Indian wearing a yellow feathered headdress — is expected to still be prominently displayed when the fall sports season kicks off soon, putting the quiet Long Island hamlet at the center of a political firestorm.
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The district is now a key “battleground,” said Oliver Roberts, a Massapequa alum and the lawyer representing the school board in its fresh lawsuit against New York claiming that the ban is unconstitutional and discriminatory.
The Trump administration claims New York’s mascot ban violates Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits recipients of federal funds from engaging in discriminatory behavior based on race, color or national origin — teeing up a potentially precedent-setting fight.
The intervention on behalf of Massapequa follows a pattern for a White House that has aggressively applied civil rights protections to police “reverse discrimination” and coerced schools and universities into policy concessions by withholding federal funds.
“Our goal is to assist nationally,” Roberts said. “It’s us putting forward our time and effort to try and assist with this national movement and push back against the woke bureaucrats trying to cancel our country’s history and tradition.”
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It’s no secret how President Donald Trump feels about sports teams turning away from Native American mascots. He’s repeatedly called for the return of the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians, claiming their recent rebrands were part of a “woke” agenda designed to erase history.
But one surprising team has really gotten the president’s attention: the Massapequa Chiefs.
The Long Island school district has refused to change its logo and name under a mandate from New York state banning schools from using team mascots appropriating Indigenous culture. Schools were given two years to rebrand, but Massapequa is the lone holdout, having missed the June 30 deadline to debut a new logo.
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The district lost an initial lawsuit it filed against the state but now has the federal government on its side. In May, Trump’s Department of Education intervened on the district’s behalf, claiming the state’s mascot ban is itself discriminatory.
Massapequa’s Chiefs logo — an American Indian wearing a yellow feathered headdress — is expected to still be prominently displayed when the fall sports season kicks off soon, putting the quiet Long Island hamlet at the center of a political firestorm.
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The district is now a key “battleground,” said Oliver Roberts, a Massapequa alum and the lawyer representing the school board in its fresh lawsuit against New York claiming that the ban is unconstitutional and discriminatory.
The Trump administration claims New York’s mascot ban violates Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits recipients of federal funds from engaging in discriminatory behavior based on race, color or national origin — teeing up a potentially precedent-setting fight.
The intervention on behalf of Massapequa follows a pattern for a White House that has aggressively applied civil rights protections to police “reverse discrimination” and coerced schools and universities into policy concessions by withholding federal funds.
“Our goal is to assist nationally,” Roberts said. “It’s us putting forward our time and effort to try and assist with this national movement and push back against the woke bureaucrats trying to cancel our country’s history and tradition.”
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Rapid City, South Dakota (CNN) —Nestled in the Black Hills of South Dakota, Rapid City is a scenic urban getaway that hasn’t lost its small-town vibe.
While it’s the state’s second largest city, visitors can explore its greenway, museums, art and history, or indulge in craft beer and increasingly diverse dishes — all within a few minutes’ drive, walk or bicycle ride.
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And the surrounding landscape is home to enough natural and manmade wonders — from the Badlands to the Crazy Horse Memorial — to keep you busy for a week or more.
Historic City of Presidents
Rapid City promotes itself as the City of Presidents, a nod to its location 24 miles from South Dakota’s most iconic attraction, Mount Rushmore National Memorial.
In town, locals know summer’s in full swing when tourists are snapping selfies with bronze statues of Harry S. Truman and Richard Nixon. Street corners throughout Rapid City’s historic downtown are home to life-sized sculptures of nearly all US presidents. (President Donald Trump’s statue has been unveiled and will be installed in fall 2025, and President Joe Biden’s statue is in progress).
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The trail of presidents, which launched in 2000, is a self-guided experience. The visitor center downtown has a City of Presidents Guide, or you can download a digital version to take a walking tour or scavenger hunt.
“People love touring and looking at all the statues,” said Ally Formanek, CEO at Visit Rapid City, the city’s tourism office. “It’s a fun and unexpected way to learn about history.”
Founded in 1876 by disheartened gold prospectors, today downtown Rapid City is a mix of historic landmarks such as the 1928 Hotel Alex Johnson and the 1912 Elks Theatre, along with restaurants, coffee shops, specialty stores, boutiques and art galleries that reflect the busy modern city. An indoor aquaponics farm, sourdough and gluten-free bakeries, a meat market and deli specializing in locally raised beef, and a comedy club are some of the new additions to downtown, just in the past year.
Main Street Square, downtown’s anchor, hosts about 150 events year-round in and outdoor public space that offers interactive fountains in the summer and ice skating in the winter.
Jess and Cody Skinner own The Silver Lining Creamery, an ice cream shop at Main Street Square. Jess Skinner compares Rapid City to “a mini Denver” with fewer crowds but plenty to do and see.
“We have such a unique downtown with all these local businesses,” Jess said. “I’ve been to a lot of different cities and downtowns, and I think ours is one of the best.”
“We always get compliments about how friendly everyone is here … that everyone is so nice,” Jess said. “Tourists can stop and (ask for directions) and people here are so kind and so helpful.”
For an easy way to see Rapid City, the narrated City View Trolley Tour highlights local landmarks and history. The tour’s only stop is at Chapel in the Hills, a 56-year-old Norwegian stavkirke, a traditional timber-framed stave church found in Scandinavia, with a meditation trail on its grounds.
“It’s a place to slow down and catch your breath. People tend to linger here,” said Brian Kringen, managing director at Chapel in the Hills, a striking wooden structure with an elaborate tiered roof.
While many visitors come to the area for the otherworldly landscapes of Badlands National Park, roughly 60 miles east of the city, or the wildlife viewing at Custer State Park to the south, the city offers its own unique scenery.
Rapid City borders the Black Hills to the west and prairie grasslands to the east. Rapid Creek meanders through town and an adjacent greenway connects much of the city’s 1,650 acres of park land.
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Two beloved decades-old parks — Dinosaur Park and Storybook Island — have recently been upgraded to be disability accessible. Wheelchair-friendly Dinosaur Park includes seven life-size dinosaur statues and panoramic city views. At Storybook Island, six pieces of playground equipment are wheelchair accessible and have Braille panels and sensory panels for children with autism. The park is renowned for fairy tale character playsets, an antique carousel and a miniature train. Admission to both parks is free.
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Mountain bikers and hikers favor the panoramic views from trails within the 150-acre Skyline Wilderness Area, or from spots along the more than 20 miles of trails in Hanson-Larsen Memorial Park, where M Hill pays tribute to science and engineering university South Dakota Mines. All of these trails are located within city limits.
Jason Kingsbury is a tourist-turned-resident who relocated largely because of the city’s outdoor recreation. Kingsbury is an avid camper, mountain biker and fly fisherman.
“I was absolutely blown away with how much there is to do in Rapid City,” Kingsbury said. Accessing outstanding outdoor recreation in just minutes is unique, he said.
“A lot of people do not have that experience. They can go to Memorial Park and ride world-class (trails). They can ride there from their hotel — that really impresses people,” Kingsbury said.
“What a lot of people always say is ‘I can’t believe how cool this is. I never thought South Dakota had things like this,’” he said. “They realize real quickly we’re far more than just Mount Rushmore.”