How To Get Rid Of Neediness
June 22, 2007 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
So a guy going by the handle Green over on mASF had a question about overcoming neediness…
Green
Recently I thought about times when i had conversations with girls,and analysed what i have said in those convos , i realised that I sometimes act needy.ItВґs very difficult to see your needyness yourself unless someone tells you or you think back and realize it. And then itВґs tooo late!
How do you guys dust off all your needyness that you have towards women?
IВґm grateful for any responses and advice that anyone has!
I found this question to be quite interesting because, well, I think a lot of guys suffer from this.
When talking to a woman, SO MANY guys are like a starving dog, wagging their tails, excited that they might actually get laid.
And though it might not be obvious to them, it’s obvious to pretty much everyone else.
Other than approach anxiety, I’d say learning to overcome neediness is the biggest obstacle a newbie has to face.
The best way, in my opinion, to get rid of neediness is to shift your focus away from that which is causing you to be needy.
First of all, what do you feel you need?
Is it sex? Validation? Emotional connection? All of the above? Figure that out first. What is it that’s causing you to be needy?
For most guys, once they get the sense that they might actually have a chance of having sex with a girl, it’s like a slab of meat has just been thrown to a hungry dog. They pounce on it, because they want it so bad!
And when you go after something so directly, it can scare people off.
So if you notice you’re getting needy because you want to have sex, shift your focus to something else! Instead of looking to get this girl into bed, say to yourself "You know what? Let’s forget about that for now, and just focus on getting to know her (or have fun with her)."
Once you shift your focus, you can start to relax, because the "pressure to get her into bed" will disappear.
Another way to do this is to find something that fulfills your need. Ever notice how married guys or guys with girlfriends seem to attract women easier than single guys? That’s because they’re getting their sex needs fulfilled, so they tend to relax around girls, and that relaxed attitude helps make the girls attracted to them – because they naturally tease them, joke with them, and have fun with them.
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The Goodsons didn’t start out intending to build a home. The couple scoured the southern Maine housing market for nearly two years, striking out time after time.
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“We put in offers on probably half a dozen houses well over asking and were perpetually beat out by people who were paying cash, coming up from Boston or New York,” Goodson said. “The housing stock was nonexistent, to say the least.”
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House-hunting in cities comes with the same problem. When Tim Buntel and Cynthia Graber started looking for homes in Somerville, Massachusetts, they kept finding condos listed for far more than they were worth.
“They were often very expensive, and they were flips,” Graber said. “Developers come in, they take old properties and do a lot of things that are pretty in their eyes. And it’s really crappy quality.”
Massachusetts is one of the costliest states in which to buy a house. The greater Boston market has remained stubbornly expensive, with low inventory clashing with high demand.
Graber and Buntel eventually found a property with an old cottage they considered renovating. But after several sky-high quotes from architects, they decided to demolish it and build a new home with Unity.
“It was more flexible for our (urban) setting,” Buntel said. “Bringing the panels in on a flat pack and assembling them here was just more feasible, given the constraints of the streets and the neighborhood.”
Unity Homes started with the intent to offer quality, sustainable homes at a lower price point than the bigger custom homes built by its parent company, Bensonwood. The final price can range widely depending on how big the customer wants to go, or whether it comes with features like a porch or a garage – anywhere from $300,000 for its smallest home up to $900,000 or just over $1 million for its biggest builds. BrightBuilt’s houses range from $275,000 to over $2 million, Meyer said.
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Unity, a brand of custom home company Bensonwood, is one of several companies in New England building homes in a factory. It’s a modern spin on the 1900s Sears Roebuck catalogue of mail-order houses, now with energy efficiency front of mind.
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Companies like Unity and Maine-based BrightBuilt Home offer several basic designs that owners can customize. At Unity, much of the design is done ahead of time, before the house’s walls, windows and doors are assembled inside the company’s Keene, New Hampshire, factory, then wrapped tightly in reusable plastic and put on a truck bed. Once it’s on site, a panelized house can be built in a matter of days.
It is a very different model from traditional “stick-built” home construction, where the structure is built “stick by stick” on site and can take months to finish, all the while leaving wood and materials exposed to rain, snow and wind.
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“There’s a logic to building a structure in a climate-controlled environment. That really resonates with a lot of folks,” said Parlin Meyer, managing principal for BrightBuilt Home.
The number of factory-made homes still pales in comparison to traditional stick-built homes in the United States — just 3% of all single-family homes as of 2024, according to the National Association of Home Builders. The trend is much more popular in Europe; in Sweden, most new homes are built in factories.
“That’s been relatively flat for a number of years,” said Devin Perry, an assistant vice president at the National Association of Home Builders. “But anecdotally, there seems to be momentum behind that method of construction, and people looking for energy efficient options.”
Three New England companies specializing in factory-built and energy efficient homes told CNN they are seeing a rise in interest. Prefabricated homes used to be associated with cheap, poorly made housing, but that has changed.
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Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky will meet US President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris in Washington on Thursday. Leon Neal/Getty Images
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Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky’s visit to the White House on Thursday could be his final chance to convince a receptive American president of his country’s war aims.
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The precise details of the “victory plan” Zelensky plans to present in separate meetings to President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are unknown, having been closely held until they are presented to the American leaders.
But according to people briefed on its broad contours, the plan reflects the Ukrainian leader’s urgent appeals for more immediate help countering Russia’s invasion. Zelensky is also poised to push for long-term security guarantees that could withstand changes in American leadership ahead of what is widely expected to be a close presidential election between Harris and former President Donald Trump.
The plan, people familiar with it said, acts as Zelensky’s response to growing war weariness even among his staunchest of western allies. It will make the case that Ukraine can still win — and does not need to cede Russian-seized territory for the fighting to end — if enough assistance is rushed in.
That includes again asking permission to fire Western provided long-range weapons deeper into Russian territory, a line Biden once was loathe to cross but which he’s recently appeared more open to as he has come under growing pressure to relent.
Even if Biden decides to allow the long-range fires, it’s unclear whether the change in policy would be announced publicly.
Biden is usually apt to take his time making decisions about providing Ukraine new capabilities. But with November’s election potentially portending a major change in American approach to the war if Trump were to win, Ukrainian officials — and many American ones — believe there is little time to waste.
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Trump has claimed he will be able to “settle” the war upon taking office and has suggested he’ll end US support for Kyiv’s war effort.
“Those cities are gone, they’re gone, and we continue to give billions of dollars to a man who refused to make a deal, Zelensky. There was no deal that he could have made that wouldn’t have been better than the situation you have right now. You have a country that has been obliterated, not possible to be rebuilt,” Trump said during a campaign speech in Mint Hill, North Carolina, on Wednesday.
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The president previewed Zelensky’s visit to the White House a day beforehand, declaring on the margins of the United Nations General Assembly his administration was “determined to ensure that Ukraine has what it needs to prevail in fight for survival.”
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Unity, a brand of custom home company Bensonwood, is one of several companies in New England building homes in a factory. It’s a modern spin on the 1900s Sears Roebuck catalogue of mail-order houses, now with energy efficiency front of mind.
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Companies like Unity and Maine-based BrightBuilt Home offer several basic designs that owners can customize. At Unity, much of the design is done ahead of time, before the house’s walls, windows and doors are assembled inside the company’s Keene, New Hampshire, factory, then wrapped tightly in reusable plastic and put on a truck bed. Once it’s on site, a panelized house can be built in a matter of days.
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“There’s a logic to building a structure in a climate-controlled environment. That really resonates with a lot of folks,” said Parlin Meyer, managing principal for BrightBuilt Home.
The number of factory-made homes still pales in comparison to traditional stick-built homes in the United States — just 3% of all single-family homes as of 2024, according to the National Association of Home Builders. The trend is much more popular in Europe; in Sweden, most new homes are built in factories.
“That’s been relatively flat for a number of years,” said Devin Perry, an assistant vice president at the National Association of Home Builders. “But anecdotally, there seems to be momentum behind that method of construction, and people looking for energy efficient options.”
Three New England companies specializing in factory-built and energy efficient homes told CNN they are seeing a rise in interest. Prefabricated homes used to be associated with cheap, poorly made housing, but that has changed.
The Goodsons didn’t start out intending to build a home. The couple scoured the southern Maine housing market for nearly two years, striking out time after time.
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“We put in offers on probably half a dozen houses well over asking and were perpetually beat out by people who were paying cash, coming up from Boston or New York,” Goodson said. “The housing stock was nonexistent, to say the least.”
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House-hunting in cities comes with the same problem. When Tim Buntel and Cynthia Graber started looking for homes in Somerville, Massachusetts, they kept finding condos listed for far more than they were worth.
“They were often very expensive, and they were flips,” Graber said. “Developers come in, they take old properties and do a lot of things that are pretty in their eyes. And it’s really crappy quality.”
Massachusetts is one of the costliest states in which to buy a house. The greater Boston market has remained stubbornly expensive, with low inventory clashing with high demand.
Graber and Buntel eventually found a property with an old cottage they considered renovating. But after several sky-high quotes from architects, they decided to demolish it and build a new home with Unity.
“It was more flexible for our (urban) setting,” Buntel said. “Bringing the panels in on a flat pack and assembling them here was just more feasible, given the constraints of the streets and the neighborhood.”
Unity Homes started with the intent to offer quality, sustainable homes at a lower price point than the bigger custom homes built by its parent company, Bensonwood. The final price can range widely depending on how big the customer wants to go, or whether it comes with features like a porch or a garage – anywhere from $300,000 for its smallest home up to $900,000 or just over $1 million for its biggest builds. BrightBuilt’s houses range from $275,000 to over $2 million, Meyer said.
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The Goodsons didn’t start out intending to build a home. The couple scoured the southern Maine housing market for nearly two years, striking out time after time.
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“We put in offers on probably half a dozen houses well over asking and were perpetually beat out by people who were paying cash, coming up from Boston or New York,” Goodson said. “The housing stock was nonexistent, to say the least.”
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House-hunting in cities comes with the same problem. When Tim Buntel and Cynthia Graber started looking for homes in Somerville, Massachusetts, they kept finding condos listed for far more than they were worth.
“They were often very expensive, and they were flips,” Graber said. “Developers come in, they take old properties and do a lot of things that are pretty in their eyes. And it’s really crappy quality.”
Massachusetts is one of the costliest states in which to buy a house. The greater Boston market has remained stubbornly expensive, with low inventory clashing with high demand.
Graber and Buntel eventually found a property with an old cottage they considered renovating. But after several sky-high quotes from architects, they decided to demolish it and build a new home with Unity.
“It was more flexible for our (urban) setting,” Buntel said. “Bringing the panels in on a flat pack and assembling them here was just more feasible, given the constraints of the streets and the neighborhood.”
Unity Homes started with the intent to offer quality, sustainable homes at a lower price point than the bigger custom homes built by its parent company, Bensonwood. The final price can range widely depending on how big the customer wants to go, or whether it comes with features like a porch or a garage – anywhere from $300,000 for its smallest home up to $900,000 or just over $1 million for its biggest builds. BrightBuilt’s houses range from $275,000 to over $2 million, Meyer said.
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