Book Review: The Game, by Neil Strauss

Okay, by now I’m sure you’re all curious about the book THE GAME, written by Neil Strauss (aka Style, the most powerful of the Jedi).

I received my advanced copy of the book over Labor Day weekend (since I’m in the book briefly, I was sent one early).  The first thing you notice about the book is that it’s not your typical hardback book as you’d expect.  The cover is actually thin, flexible, and black, the pages are all edged in gold, and there’s even a thin red cloth bookmark located in the spine.  In short, the book looks like the typical Gideon Bible you’d find in a hotel room.

And I must say, it’s quite appropriate.

Move over Lay Guide, so long eBooks, THE GAME is the new bible of the seduction community!

A few chapters into this book, I realized that this wasn’t going to be the “tell-all expose” we all were anticipating.  This is a book written by arguably one of the best seducers to ever come out of the community, and in it, he shares everything.

I mean EVERYTHING.

All his teachings, all his tactics, all his theories, all his strategies are all laid bare.

Through the course of the book, we start off by seeing Style go from your Average Frustrated Chump to a full blown Ladies Man, and as he documents his progress, it’s as if you’re right there learning along with him.  Because of this, I would go so far as to say that is book is a MUST OWN for anyone out there looking to improve with women.

This isn’t just a story.  This is a “how-to guide.”  A manual on how to pick up women from the best of the best.  Forget Cassanova, forget Don Juan, this is stuff that works now, in this day and age, and is applicable to modern women.  Not only that, but it’s all based on the tried and tested techniques of the seduction community.

Style pretty much lays out every form and method of teaching there is.  He gives you the full Mystery Method, he shows you Speed Seduction, he explains the Juggler Method, Double Your Dating, and David X style.  Pretty much every major school of thought is laid bare in here, which makes it a great all-encompassing reference manual for guys who want to know what teachings are available out there.

In the book, Style also shares posts from the private Mystery’s Lounge message board where some of the greats post their best stuff.  This is a good way for the average guy who isn’t privileged enough to be part of this private message board to see some of the advanced teachings and spastic ramblings that are shared there.

Then, Style shows you how he incorporates the best teachings from all his sources and created a system of pick-up that works for him.

This is, bar-none, one of the most complete guides on the subject of seduction I have ever seen.  In fact, I’d rate it up there along side Robert Greene’s classic “The Art Of Seduction.”

But the real treat of THE GAME isn’t just it’s wealth of pick-up knowledge.  No sir.  It’s the inside look you get at the personalities behind these teachings.

The book seems to have two different parts to it.  The first part, and most of the early chapters, are devoted to the teachings of pick-up and Style’s own personal learning experiences.  The other part of the book is devoted to the experiment known in the community as “Project Hollywood,” where the real human drama of the story unfolds.

The first chapter of the book starts off with a bang as we see Mystery, a man revered by all as one of the greatest teachers of Pick-Up out there, have a nervous breakdown after his girlfriend is stolen by his then close friend, business associate, and roommate, Herbal.  Style goes into great detail about how he performs “suicide watch” duties as he drags Mystery to a mental health center.

This is how the book starts.  Mystery is a loon.

But no more than two chapters later, we see the flip side of this as Style documents his first meeting of Mystery as the man is at his prime, picking up some of the hottest women in the club (including stealing the girlfriend of a TV celebrity who happened to be there right in front of him) and proving to all that he is, in fact the real deal.

So within the first three chapters of the book, we see Mystery at his worst, and Mystery at his best.  They’re two sides of the same coin, but the ones that only his enemies and his fans know.

His students see all his greatness and none of his weakness.  His detractors see only his weakness and shun his greatness.  In the matter of just a few pages, Style shows us how everyone sees Mystery at a glance.

Then, as the book goes on, the gap between these two extremes is filled and we suddenly see Mystery as his friends see him – a real human being.  Black and white suddenly blur into shades of gray, and a true and sympathetic man emerges.

This is where I think it’s important to point out that the concepts and teachings Mystery has innovated are real.  They work, no one can deny this.  And as you read about Mystery’s low points (and believe me, things get pretty low), it can be easy to doubt the validity of what he teaches.

But as the book goes on and you begin to see the picture Style paints of a truly passionate man who comes from a poor home with an abusive father, you realize that it’s these extremes he endures that make him so brilliant.  Sure, he has a massive breakdown and has to be institutionalized for his own safety, but he’s also someone who latches onto crazy ideas and molds them into reality.  It’s because of these extremes that Mystery is so charismatic, innovative, and gains the loyalty of those who follow his teachings.

Then there’s Ross Jeffries, the “guru of gash” as he likes to refer to himself in the book.  RJ is one of the other major personalities in the story, and I must say, reading what Style has to say about his is extremely eye opening.

If you’re a reader of this blog, you know that there is no love lost between Ross Jeffries and myself.  As a former student of his, he kicked and banned me from Speed Seduction when I began to question the validity of his teachings.  Since then, I have written a great deal about how unstable, petty, and vindictive a man he is in an attempt to warn others about following what he has to teach.

And though Style shows both sides of Mystery, the good and the bad, the book struggles to show anything good or redeeming about Ross.  Upon first meeting Style, Ross treats him like a dick.  He pathetically tries to “convert” Style to his cult of Speed Seduction (and I’m not putting my words in here, Style really does refer to it as a cult in the book).  We also see RJ try to anchor Style into believing he’s a great seducer, all the while extorting and guilting Style into taking him to trendy Hollywood parties he could never get into by himself.

After a rather embarrassing foray out with Ross, where the man ended up making an ass of himself when he got on all fours and sniffed Carmen Electra’s butt, eventually forcing Style to leave the party early because Ross can’t stay out past 10 o’clock at night (it’s past his beddie-bye), Style vows never to take Ross out to another “cool” party again.

This, of course, does not stop Ross from continuing to harass and guilt Style as he does to so many other people.

The picture Style paints of RJ is not necessarily a bad one.  He does document how Ross uses Speed Seduction to get numbers from girls, and he never fully comes out and disrespects Ross.  But as you read how RJ acts and what he says to Style, you can’t help but get a glimpse of this guy’s true nature.

And then, of course, there’s the other big personality featured in the book, namely Tyler Durden of Real Social Dynamics fame.  And needless to say, Style does not paint a flattering picture of Tyler at all.

It is obvious there was never any real “love connection” between Tyler and Style, but Style makes it a point to document all the creepiness and awkwardness he felt around Tyler as he shows RSD blossom from a copy-cat pick-up workshop into a type of cult very similar to the one found in Fight Club (coincidence?  Not likely).

In one particularly telling scene, Style describes the first time he hung out with Tyler while juxtaposing a burlesque dancer Style dated who revealed to him she had herpes.  It’s almost as if Style is suggesting that even though on the surface, things can appear beautiful and exotic, on the inside there can be a virus that will end up causing you harm.  This bit of symbolism wasn’t lost on me in regards to how it applies to Tyler Durden.

There’s one particular scene towards the end of the book that I can only describe as shocking, in terms of how Tyler really treats other people.  I think that once people read this book, they will have a very different outlook on the RSD crew.

There are other community celebrities in the book too, including the usual cast of characters such as David DeAngelo, Juggler, Rick H., Steve Piccus, and various others.  Many names were changed, either to protect the innocent or because a character became an amalgamation of more than one person.  Some of the fun parts for me was trying to guess who a character really was.  (Since I know most of these guys, it wasn’t hard for me)

Because of this, I think it’s important to note that THE GAME isn’t a straight non-fiction book.  Not only because certain characters have been changed and combined together, but Style also altered the timeline of certain events to make the book read better.

For instance, my original Top Ten PUA List did not come out while Mystery was in the hospital, it actually came out some time after he was released.  Ross didn’t get a certain “nick-name” until I started using it on this site some time after the party which Style took him to in the book.  Style’s interview with Tom Cruise actually occurred well into Project Hollywood, not beforehand.  These are a few things that aren’t necessarily accurate in terms of the timeline of events, but rest assured that everything in the book did happen in one way or another.  I say this not only as a witness to a great many of the events documented, but also from first hand sources who’ve repeated to me pretty much what Style reveals in the novel.

Another great joy in reading this book is hearing about Style’s fumbles with women before he really graduated to PUG (Pick Up Guru) status.  These are often very funny, such as seducing one girl back to her hotel room only to be put off by her stinky feet, or trying to get two twin sisters into bed at once by taking a rather awkward bath at their place.  These moments aren’t just entertaining, but anyone who’s actually gone out in the field, used these tactics, and tried to get them to work can relate to the crazy things that can happen and go wrong when you’re in the final stretch.

I also think this is great because we get to see that Style was not always the expert seducer he has become.  He started out just like a lot of us did, and fumbled and failed before he actually started to taste success.  It’s important to note that a lot of guys aren’t willing to go through the “failure” part that’s required to get good.  But part of what made Style one of the best was his unwillingness to give up.

Another incredibly entertaining aspect of the book comes when Style actually BECOMES good, and is forced to deal with certain obstacles.  For instance, there’s a chapter in the book where Style goes head-to-head in a “PUA Showdown” with Hollywood Madame Heidi Fleiss.  It’s incredibly entertaining to see Heidi try and cockblock Neil when he’s picking up women, and in return see Neil fight back with PUA tactics that keep Hedi from turning seducing the girls into prostitution.

Then there’s another celebrity showdown with actor Andy Dick, where Style has to keep Andy from stealing his date by whipping out some massive value demonstrations to re-win the attention of his star-struck girl.  Of course, this works a little TOO well when Andy Dick, so won over by Style’s tight game, actually propositions him for a little homosex action.  (note:  Style politely declined)

In fact, there are an awful lot of celebrity cameos in the book.  In addition to Heidi Fleiss and Andy Dick, we’re also treated to people such as the likes of Paris Hilton (who Papa sarges and gets a number close with), Brittany Spears (who Style actually number closes after running some game on her), and of course, Courtney Love (who is actually a resident of Project Hollywood for a time).

But probably the most fascinating cameo of all is that of A-List Super-Duper-Movie-Star Tom Cruise, who in a strange way becomes Style’s new guru after he’s reached the pinnacle of PUA-dom and offers him sage advice that ends up saving Style’s soul at the end of the book.

Which brings me to the next part of the review, which is that Style goes into great detail about the dangers and pitfalls the pick-up lifestyle presents those who get involved in it.  He shows how addicting it can be, and how some guys can get lost in it, forsaking friends, family, jobs, fortunes, education, and sometimes even personal health in an obsession to become a “master seducer.”

Not only that, but he talks about how easy it is to have your views on women shift to the point where you actually start resenting them.  At some point, Style reveals, pick-up becomes about the process instead of the end result.  The girl becomes secondary to the technology, and the mindset of manipulation is truly the path to the dark side.

Now, despite all of what I’ve written above, what I am about to reveal next is probably the single, most important lesson Style could ever teach any student or any man who wants to experience true happiness with women.  It’s pretty much the moral of the book, the heart of the story, and the greatest thing anyone could possibly learn in dealing with women.

This is Style’s greatest discovery, and the reason why he deserves the title “The most powerful of the Jedi.”

And the funny thing is, it’s not an opener, or a routine, or a neg, or a pattern, or a value demonstration, or a value elicitation, or a cold reading, kiss close, phase shift, and any other piece of jargon you can think of.

It’s a simple truth that most men will discover when they reach a certain point.

We all got into the learning of seduction and pick-up for one reason.  Maybe initially it was to “get more sex,” but after adding a few notches to your belt, that falls by the wayside.  What we really get into this field of study for is to procure female companionship.  Be it a girlfriend or a wife, we all ultimately want a woman who we can be happy with.

You can learn everything there is to know about pick-up and seduction, but at some point when you’re with a woman, you’re going to run out of material and have to start being yourself.

This is where the PUA mentality has its greatest shortcoming.

In the book, when Style finally meets his ideal woman, he suddenly finds himself in uncharted territory.  When all his tricks and strategies fail, he’s forced lay everything on the line and just start being himself.  The message is clear:  Pick up is easy, Relationships are hard.

In the case of Mystery, we see a man who can generate incredible attraction in women almost instantly, but can’t hold onto a girl to save his life.  With Ross, we see a guy who can maybe get a phone number, but never a date.  With Tyler, we have a person who enjoys the process of seduction so much, that when it comes time to close the deal, he chickens out.

At some point, if you want to really get to the end game, you have to stop being a Pick-Up Artist and become a Man.  Here is where Style’s greatest teaching lies…

“To win the game, you have to leave it.”

Simple, yet profound.

If any of us ever get to a point where we’ve done our work, we’ve picked up tons of women and finally found one we liked, we have to stop with all the attraction theory and go for the relationship we ultimately crave.  This means making a commitment, not only to the woman you love, but to yourself — that you’ve achieved your goal and you are allowed to be happy.

Being with a beautiful woman does not solve any problems.  Too often, guys think that having a hot chick in their bed will make them happy.  But as Style proves in his book, it doesn’t.  What makes a man happy is achieving his goal and accepting his success, and knowing when it’s time to move on and mature.

This is Style’s greatest gift to the community.  This idea.  This concept.  And for that, we should all be forever thankful.

The Game should be a must-have book for every man out there.  I can’t recommend it strongly enough.  You should get a copy and read it three times, cover to cover.  You will not find better teachings anywhere than what’s in this book. 

I guarantee it.

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