How Not To Be Dependant On One Woman
August 29, 2005 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
n3rv1 has one hell of a post over on mASF about something he calls "Dependancy." We all know how sometimes a guy can get hung up on that "one special girl," and when that happens, he ignores all other possibilities with women only to eventually find out that the girl of his desire just wants to be "friends." Well, n3rv1 offers a solution to that predicament…
n3rv1 writes:
Variation.I’m not a drug councelor or anywhere near an expert on the issue, so what I mean by "dependency" is a subtle kind of mental weakness that keeps a guy from doing things out of the ordinary, like, say, having sex with different women.
As I see it, dependency keeps a guy in his comfort zone. This is a big issue. He learns to depend on circumstances being familiar. His system can’t cope unless he is "in his element," so to speak. This inability to cope with new situations will, over time, translate into an unwillingness to ACT outside of the boundaries of what’s known and predictable.
This unwillingness to act is what I mean by "dependency."
The best cure for this is VARIATION in all senses of the meaning.
Mix it up. Keep things fresh. Engage everything. These words are purposely ambiguous.
Hovering over insignifcant details shouldn’t be allowed. Sticking to one train of thought for too long should become UNCOMFORTABLE. "New" things should no longer be seen as
"new," but "natural."I seriously think this issue and explanation is multi-applicable. I think it has to do with PU, sexual activity, probably even drug/substance use, feelings of motivation, happiness, and a whole lot of other shit that I can’t explain.
Personal, REAL LIFE examples of how I try to keep things in variation include, but are in no way limited to:
Physical Activities: Obviously sex, lifting weights, playing frisbee golf, swimming, canoeing, hiking, camping, biking, fishing, cooking outdoors, playing drums, painting, working two part-time jobs instead of one full-time job, walking as transportation, doing weird shit, etc.
Mental Activities: #1 MOST IMPORTANT: TALKING TO STRANGERS (there’s no better mental exercise for me than having quick connections with random people — it’s a dual exercise in wit and empathy, it’s not PU, it’s nothing that takes EFFORT, it’s just an overall openness and compassion for other human beings), listening to as wide a variety of music as possible, reading (philosophy, art, comparative mythology, great literary works, science magazines, psychology, PU, current affairs, history, comic books, etc) writing(***PU JOURNAL*** –> key item: keeping track of approaches and random interactions I’ve had throughout the day keeps positive experiences in my conscious sphere, making it easier for me to project positive friendly-guy vibes}, interesting-event journal, dream journal, keeping track of upcoming events, creative writing, mASF, written correspondence, chat, random thoughts jotted down on post-it notes, etc), watching movies and TV (which I don’t get enough of — with no cable access and a budget too tight for rentals or high-speed internet I’m kind of out of touch with pop culture)
The main point I’m trying to make is that it is possible to INGRAIN VARIETY into your behavior and lifestyle, not in a drastic, earth-shattering way, but in MANY realistic, subtle, yet impactful ways.
I wholeheartedly agree with n3rv1′s assessment here. It’s really foolish to latch on to just ONE woman (at least until you’re married or in a relationship). You have to keep your options open and meet lots of women. This little tactic will really help you from getting your heart broken.
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This is not the first time he’s been arrested
By RYAN GORMAN
Published: 21:59 GMT, 8 July 2013 | Updated: 22:19 GMT, 8 July
2013
e-mail
89
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comments
An Oklahoma man was arrested after being found in a septic tank in a park outhouse.
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By MIKE LARKIN
Published: 07:08 GMT, 13 August 2012 | Updated: 15:16 GMT, 13
August 2012
e-mail
8
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comments
It is not every day someone steals the limelight at an Eminem show.
But Coco Austin managed to outshine the rapper and half of the Jersey Shore crew when he played a special show in New York this weekend.
The reality television personality donned a skin-tight black T-shirt and striped hotpants for the event.
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She looked like she was having a great time as she posed next to
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Javier Bardem has responded to the criticism over his being Spanish and playing Cuban American actor Desi Arnaz.
The 52-year-old Oscar winner stars in the movie Being The Ricardos opposite Nicole Kidman who plays sitcom icon Lucille Ball.
‘I’m an actor, and that’s what I do for a living: try to be
people that I’m not,’ Javier told The Hollywood Reporter in a
new interview.
Answering back: Javier Bardem has responded to the criticism over his
being Spanish and playing Cuban American actor Desi Arnaz; seen last week
in LA
Javier also argued that the flak over nationality tends to be aimed
in particular at non-native English speakers like himself.
‘What do we do with Marlon Brando playing Vito Corleone? What do we do
with Margaret Thatcher played by Meryl Streep?
Daniel Day-Lewis playing Lincoln? Why does this conversation happen with people with accents?’ he said.
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‘You have your accent. That’s where you belong.
That’s tricky. Where is that conversation with English-speaking people doing
things like The Last Duel, where they were supposed to be French people in the Middle
Ages? That’s fine. But me, with my Spanish accent, being Cuban?’
He added defiantly: ‘What I mean is, if we want to open the can of worms, let’s open it for everyone.
The role came to me, and one thing that I know for sure is that I’m going to give
everything that I have.’
Profession: ‘I’m an actor, and that’s what I do for a living:
try to be people that I’m not,’ Javier told The Hollywood Reporter; he is pictured
as Desi
The husband of Penelope Cruz joked: ‘We should all start not
allowing anybody to play Hamlet unless they were born in Denmark.’
After his interview he emailed the publication and qualified his earlier remarks: ‘I do recognize that there are many
underrepresented voices and stories that need to be told, and we should collectively do better to provide access and opportunities for more American Latino
stories and storytellers.’
As Javier was slated for playing a Latino despite not being one, Rachel Zegler
has received opprobrium for supposedly being the wrong type of Latina to play Maria in West Side Story as
she is of Colombian and Polish descent rather than Puerto Rican.
Javier and Nicole were both controversial choices
for their roles when they were cast as Lucy and Desi,
whose daughter Lucie Arnaz publicly defended Nicole.
Incoming: The 52-year-old Oscar winner stars in the movie Being The Ricardos opposite Nicole Kidman who plays sitcom icon Lucille Ball
The blowback they received was so intense that they both
apparently tried to extricate themselves from the film as a result.
Although the producer Todd Black was able to persuade their
agents to keep them in, Nicole and Javier still wanted the film
postponed a year.
Nicole said that once their attempts to finagle a delay were unsuccessful ‘then it was like: “Oh, no. Oh, no. We actually have to do this.”‘
Since both Nicole and Javier grew up abroad
they were unaware of how proprietary Americans felt about
Lucy and Desi and so were unprepared for the backlash.
There he is: The real Desi Arnaz, who had a turbulent marriage to Lucille that ended in divorce,
is pictured in 1954 during the run of I Love Lucy
Aaron himself has previously defended casting Javier in the midst of controversy about
his not being Latin American.
‘First of all, Amazon’s casting department had a Latina casting consultant
on board. I found out, for instance, because there was an actor who
I was considering who’s Brazilian, and I was told
by the casting consultant that Brazilians aren’t considered [Hispanic] because they speak Portuguese,’ he told
the Hollywood Reporter.
‘So, Javier is Spanish and the casting consultant was fine
with it. But I don’t want to use the casting consultant as
cover. I want to tell you my opinion on this and I stand by it, which is
this: Spanish and Cuban aren’t actable, OK? They’re not actable. By the
way, neither are straight and gay,’ he added.
‘Because I know there’s a small movement underway that only gay actors
should play gay characters. Gay and straight aren’t
actable. You could act being attracted to someone, but most
nouns aren’t actable.’
Film history: Javier argued: ‘What do we do with Margaret Thatcher played by Meryl Streep?’ asking: ‘Why does this conversation happen with people with
accents?’
Meanwhile as rumors of Nicole’s casting began to spread this January it set of a swirl of online chatter about who
would be better suited for the role.
Debra Messing, who had just starred in a homage to I Love Lucy on the last season of Will And Grace, began aggressively pitching herself for the part on Twitter.
However Lucie posted a Facebook video urging fans to ‘stop arguing about who should play
it – she doesn’t look like her, her nose isn’t the
same, she isn’t as funny.’
She noted that the film is ‘the story of Lucille Ball, my actual mother, not
Lucy Ricardo, and her husband Desi Arnaz, my dad,
not Ricky Ricardo.’
New work: ‘Where is that conversation with English-speaking people doing things
like The Last Duel, where they were supposed to be French
people in the Middle Ages?’ Javier asked
Desi, who played Lucy’s bandleader husband Ricky Ricardo
on their program, had a tumultuous marriage to her in real life.
She filed for divorce for the first time in 1944, reportedly over his
philandering and drinking, but they got back together before splitting up permanently
in 1960.
In the meantime they produced two children and the sitcom that
etched them into TV legend, running from 1951 to 1957.
Throwback: Despite their divorce, in which she called their marriage ‘a nightmare,’ Lucy and Desi remained publicly amicable for the rest of his life; they are pictured while married
They also starred in movies together throughout their marriage, including Forever, Darling
and the Vincente Minnelli comedy The Long, Long Trailer.
Despite their divorce, in which she called their marriage ‘a nightmare,’ Lucy and
Desi remained publicly amicable for the rest of his life.
Lucy married Borscht Belt comic Gary Morton in 1961 and stayed
with him until her death in 1989, while Desi married one
Edith Hirsch in 1963.
Edith and Desi both died of cancer one year apart – she passed on in 1985 and her husband, who
loved cigars from his native Cuba, succumbed to lung cancer in 1986.
Aaron Sorkin’s new biopic is about a single week spent making an episode of I Love Lucy during which
Lucy and Desi’s marriage is shaken.
The turbulent week, reportedly running from
the table read to the taping in front of a studio audience, is said to include a professional landmine for the couple as well.
Javier BardemNicole Kidman
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