Women And “Reintegration”

SteviePUA has a good post up on mASF about getting a woman to become comfortable with you after doing something that might have been outside her "first impression."

SteviePUA writes:
There’s an
advanced skill which is rarely discussed. This is the need some chicks
have for REINTEGRATION of something new they have done into how they
previously saw your relationship together.

Take the example of doing something outside the box for her. She fucks
you in public. That brings a completely new dimension to how she sees
you and the relationship.

This can be disconcerting to a lot of chicks because they don’t know
how to integrate how they now see you with how they saw you before. If
you ignore what you have done then they can get weirded out because
they don’t know how to deal with it. If you become a new person in
light of what you have done together that can worry her too because she
liked you as you were before. BTW, this is one of big reasons that
girls don’t want to sleep with male friends, even if she finds you
attractive. They fear the friendship you have together will be changed
by the act of sex. What this comes down to is she feels unable to
REINTEGRATE that new experience into the previous way of relating to
you.

You need to reintegrate her new perceptions of you into how she saw
your relationship before the new experience occurred, then you have new
sexually exciting dimensions (or whatever the new thing was) as a
constituent part of your current relationship.

That’s what I was doing (and always make sure to do) after the picnic
sex and she snapped out of the trance which had resulted in me sweeping
her away sexually. Afterwards, I made her comfortable about the new
experience and integrated it into how we interacted personally. I
didn’t ignore the issue. Instead, I gave her an ‘out’ – an excuse for
what had happened. I told her we were so excited it just happened then
I linked that into a story on the theme of excitement, bringing in
elements which were familiar to our relationship. It was, in a sense
now that I think about it, an integration of anchors where the old
familiar anchors got mixed in with the new experience associations and
got soothed into acceptance. This allows for reintegration. Now I have
new anchors created for the picnic fuck which can be used in relation
to other mind fucks I want to use. Very sneaky and very effective.

I do think Stevie has a point on this.  How many times have you had a girl say to you "You’ve changed," or "Things are different/not what they used to be," or "I feel like I don’t know you anymore!" blah, blah, blah…

This concept of "reintegration" is an interesting one, because it’s about creating a role for both you and her, but it’s not only about getting your girl to accept that role, but to become COMFORTABLE in that role.  I think this is really important to understand, because too often women may play the role you want them to, but they won’t necessarily feel good about doing it.

We often think that the comfort stage ends after you’ve gotten a girl to sleep with you, but Stevie’s point is that’s not the case.  Comfort is an ONGOING thing.  Whenever you try something new or want to experiment, it’s important to be aware that you need to create comfort for your woman.