David Shade’s Manual, Vol. 1
June 9, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Interviewing for High Self-Esteem Women
By David Shade
www.davidshade.com
I specifically interview for high self-esteem women. The most comprehensive discussion on self-esteem I have seen is by Nathaniel Branden at nathanielbranden.net. He articulated it well when he wrote:
"Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; and to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite."
He defined self-esteem as "being competent to cope with the challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment, and happiness are right and natural for us. It is a consciousness to trust our self. It strives for rationality, coherence, clarity, and truth."
He defined six practices of a healthy self-esteem:
1) Living consciously: Respect for facts, open to new knowledge and feedback, and seeking to understand the world and ourselves.
2) Self-acceptance: Realism applied to self. The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning.
3) Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for life and well being and for the attainment of our goals.
4) Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
5) Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them.
6) Integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we profess to admire.
"What all these have in common is respect for reality."
What we call high self-esteem and low self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden calls self-esteem and pseudo self-esteem. He defined pseudo self-esteem as: "trying to compensate for deficiencies; a pretense at a self-confidence and self-respect; the effort to protect self-esteem with denial and evasion, which only results in a further deterioration of self-esteem."
Pseudo self-esteem can be easily identified by: "the defensiveness with which insecure people may respond when their errors are pointed out, or the extraordinary feats of avoidance and self-deception people can exhibit with regard to gross acts of non-consciousness and irresponsibility, or the foolish and pathetic ways people sometimes try to prop up their egos by the wealth or prestige of their spouse, the make of their automobile, or the fame of their dress designer, or by the exclusiveness of their golf club."
Traits of pseudo self-esteem include: delusional, ignorance, denial, evasion, betrayal of consciousness or conviction, lack of integrity, grandiosity, fantasies of superiority, conceited (exaggerated opinion of oneself,) boasting, arrogance, and the victim mentality of blaming others. What all these have in common is the lack of respect for reality. But the biggest indicator is the angry denial of low self-esteem or the denial that self-esteem is significant or desirable.
I have found the following to be true of HSE women and LSE women:
LSE women are insecure and seek validation from men.
HSE women are secure in themselves and have nothing to prove.
LSE women have a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled.
HSE women are self fulfilled.
LSE women will manipulate a man to make him meet her needs.
HSE women know exactly what they want in a man, and when they find one enjoy who he is.
LSE women are quick to obtain their man’s tokens of devotion, such as expensive gifts or immediately requiring a monogamous relationship.
HSE women are suspicious of expensive gifts early on, and do not decide that they want a relationship with the man until she gets to know him well.
LSE women would steal a man if it would give her affirmation.
HSE women are not at all interested in another woman’s man.
LSE women trade sex for attention and for verification that they are attractive and worthy.
For HSE women, sex is about sharing and celebrating sexuality.
LSE women respond to being treated poorly in an attempt to prove their worthiness.
HSE women expect to be treated well and respond only to that.
For a LSE woman, it’s not about the man, it’s about her own needs.
For a HSE woman, it’s about what her and her man enjoy together.
LSE women blame their problems on other people. They have the victim mentality.
HSE women assume personal responsibility for their own lot in life.
LSE women are motivated by moving away from bad.
HSE women are motivated by moving towards good.
LSE women must control others by manipulation.
HSE women see that as unhealthy.
LSE women are drama queens.
HSE women seek harmony.
LSE women have a warped sense of deservedness.
HSE women have a healthy sense of deservedness.
Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman’s biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men.
A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.
Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.
This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.
Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy’s girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy’s girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy’s girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two
good parents in a good relationship.
A Daddy’s Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be routing for you.
The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she
associates with. If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she’s got one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren’t a psychiatrist or a therapist, there’s not much you can do about it. And even then, it’s usually futile.
So, how do you specifically interview for high self-esteem? Don’t just ask her if she has high self-esteem. The low self-esteem women will insist that they do, and the high self-esteem women sometimes are modest about it. Instead, covertly look for the traits of high self-esteem. The first sign is if she has a hearty firm handshake and good eye contact. The most trustworthy sign of self-esteem is if she can take a compliment
well. But don’t ask her if she can take a compliment well, because all women will say they do. Instead, somewhere in the conversation, I will pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the
compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self-esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self-esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, which is what I want.
I will also get conversation to where we talk about past relationships. This gives me a very good idea about her sense of deservedness. I will listen for signs of how she was treated by her men. That describes how
she will be most comfortable. If she complains about how her men mistreated her, it is a very bad sign. But if all her men were very interested in her pleasure, then that is a very good sign. They are the women who will most appreciate, and best respond to me.
Then I will test for ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Eventually in the conversation, I will say "You know, I bet that when you were a little girl, about 7, you had a very close relationship with your father." If she didn’t, it will tend
to break rapport, as it should. But if she did, then it always servers to increase rapport in a massive way. Usually she will ask why I say that, and I will go into my ‘Daddy’s girl’ theory. The Daddy’s Girls always love it. But the ones who were not Daddy’s Girls will go into a long illogical discourse attempting to explain why they nonetheless have a high self esteem.
There is a very simple formula for dealing with Daddy’s Girls: Do all the things her daddy did to her, plus all those things her daddy dreaded a man like you would do to her.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
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Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky will meet US President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris in Washington on Thursday. Leon Neal/Getty Images
CNN
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But according to people briefed on its broad contours, the plan reflects the Ukrainian leader’s urgent appeals for more immediate help countering Russia’s invasion. Zelensky is also poised to push for long-term security guarantees that could withstand changes in American leadership ahead of what is widely expected to be a close presidential election between Harris and former President Donald Trump.
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That includes again asking permission to fire Western provided long-range weapons deeper into Russian territory, a line Biden once was loathe to cross but which he’s recently appeared more open to as he has come under growing pressure to relent.
Even if Biden decides to allow the long-range fires, it’s unclear whether the change in policy would be announced publicly.
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Comments like those have lent new weight to Thursday’s Oval Office talks, according to American and European officials, who have described an imperative to surge assistance to Ukraine while Biden is still in office.
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The precise details of the “victory plan” Zelensky plans to present in separate meetings to President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris are unknown, having been closely held until they are presented to the American leaders.
But according to people briefed on its broad contours, the plan reflects the Ukrainian leader’s urgent appeals for more immediate help countering Russia’s invasion. Zelensky is also poised to push for long-term security guarantees that could withstand changes in American leadership ahead of what is widely expected to be a close presidential election between Harris and former President Donald Trump.
The plan, people familiar with it said, acts as Zelensky’s response to growing war weariness even among his staunchest of western allies. It will make the case that Ukraine can still win — and does not need to cede Russian-seized territory for the fighting to end — if enough assistance is rushed in.
That includes again asking permission to fire Western provided long-range weapons deeper into Russian territory, a line Biden once was loathe to cross but which he’s recently appeared more open to as he has come under growing pressure to relent.
Even if Biden decides to allow the long-range fires, it’s unclear whether the change in policy would be announced publicly.
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Comments like those have lent new weight to Thursday’s Oval Office talks, according to American and European officials, who have described an imperative to surge assistance to Ukraine while Biden is still in office.
As part of Zelensky’s visit, the US is expected to announce a major new security package, thought it will likely delay the shipping of the equipment due to inventory shortages, CNN previously reported according to two US officials. On Wednesday, the US announced a package of $375 million.
The president previewed Zelensky’s visit to the White House a day beforehand, declaring on the margins of the United Nations General Assembly his administration was “determined to ensure that Ukraine has what it needs to prevail in fight for survival.”
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DB娛樂網站，前身為PM娛樂網站，於2023年全面更名為【DB多寶遊戲】。本次品牌更名的階段，DB賭場進一步專注於帶來全方位的線上賭場體驗，為玩家呈現多樣化的娛樂項目與創新的娛樂服務。無論是莊家遊戲、體育賭注還是其他流行遊戲，DB娛樂城都能迎合玩家的期待。
多寶遊戲的誕生與進步 在亞洲線上娛樂市場中，DB遊戲平台迅速發展，成為眾多玩家的熱門選擇平台之一。隨著PM集團的品牌更新，DB多寶遊戲著眼於提升使用者體驗，並著眼於創造一個安全、方便且公正的遊戲氛圍。從遊戲內容到結算方式，DB娛樂城都追求卓越，為玩家推動最佳的線上遊戲服務。
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百家樂遊戲 DB娛樂網站最為出名的是其多重的百家樂選項。平台推出多個版本的賭桌遊戲，包括傳統百家樂和免佣百家樂，符合各類玩家的興趣。透過現場荷官的現場互動，玩家可以感受沉浸式的現場氣氛。
體育博彩 作為一個多元化賭場，DB遊戲平台還推出各類體育遊戲的博彩項目。從足球賽事、籃球比賽到網球賽事等熱門賽事，玩家都可以隨時隨地參與體育博彩，體驗比賽的快感與下注的刺激。
促銷活動與獎金 DB娛樂網站頻繁推出廣泛的促銷計畫，為新舊會員呈現各種折扣與回饋。這些促銷不僅提高了遊戲的可玩性，還為玩家創造更多獲取福利的機會。
DB娛樂城的口碑與亮點 在2024年的最新線上娛樂平台排行榜中，DB遊戲平台獲得了極高評價，並且因其豐富的遊戲選擇、迅速的提款效率和廣泛的促銷活動而贏得玩家喜愛。
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Почти три года назад кооператив «Бест Вей» был включен в предупредительный список ЦБ – с этого начались его злоключения. Становится все более очевидным, что это заказная акция, в которой Центробанк действовал в интересах банковской мафии, принимая решения, которые никто даже не потрудился подтвердить документами и фактами.
Осенью 2021 года потребительский кооператив «Бест Вей» – крупнейший российский кооператив, дававший возможность приобретать квартиры по всей России, в котором около 20 тыс. пайщиков, работающий с 2014 года, был включен в Список компаний с выявленными признаками нелегальной деятельности на финансовом рынке (предупредительный список) ЦБ – против него был использован относительно новый, только появившийся в 2021 году инструмент регулирования ЦБ на финансовом рынке.
Притом, что примерно за полтора года до этого – в 2019 году – ЦБ в официальном письме по запросу одной из общественных организаций заявлял, что у него нет вопросов к кооперативу – и в силу того, что потребительский кооператив не подведомствен ЦБ, и в силу того, что Банку России ничего не известно о нарушениях, которые требовали бы его вмешательства как мегарегулятора финансового рынка.
Однако в 2021 году все изменилось: включением в предупредительный список ЦБ попытался поставить кооператив вне закона, обрушить его деятельность. С включения в предупредительный список начались злоключения кооператива: блокирование его официальных информационных ресурсов, системы личных кабинетов и платежей, а затем и распространение на него уголовного дела, возбужденного той же осенью 2021 года по заявлением ряда клиентов иностранной компании «Гермес». Кооператив был объявлен аффилированной с «Гермесом» структурой, постановлением руководителя следственной группы ему был присвоен статус гражданского ответчика по уголовному делу.
Липовые основания
Но что лежало в основе включения в предупредительный список? Это стало известно недавно – из двух процессов в Приморском районном суде Санкт-Петербурга: уголовном, по обвинению бывших специалистов маркетинговой компании «Лайф-из-Гуд», сотрудничавшей с «Гермесом», в организации финансовой пирамиды, и гражданском – по иску Прокуратуры Санкт-Петербурга о признании кооператива «Бест Вей» незаконным.
Оказывается, впервые справку о нарушениях в кооперативе подготовил в 2019 году некий центр компетенций Южного главка ЦБ в Краснодаре – который уже ликвидирован, архив этого подразделения также, видимо, ликвидирован: первоисточников решений нет – указывается, что это некие обращения граждан: каких граждан и что отмечается в обращении, не упоминается. При этом краснодарский центр указывал в отчете, что руководствовался методическими рекомендациями МВД РФ «Квалификация и расследование организации деятельности «финансовых пирамид».
Далее Северо-Западный главк ЦБ (прежний руководитель – Надежда Савинская, нынешний руководитель – Ирина Петрова) – который обязан был провести собственную проверку по отношению к организациям в своей зоне ответственности (кооператив зарегистрирован в Санкт-Петербурге), просто переписывает документ из Краснодара – и направляет его в прокуратуру.
Параллельно документ идет «наверх» – и (теперь уже бывший) руководитель Департамента противодействия недобросовестным практикам ЦБ Валерий Лях, который, насколько известно, уехал из России – допросить его в суде не удалось, подмахивает документ о включении кооператива в предупредительный список.
При этом проверка деятельности кооператива не проводилась – никакая: ни выездная, ни камеральная. Документы у кооператива не запрашивались. Почему? А потому, объясняют представители ЦБ, что кооператив не является подведомственной ЦБ организацией и проверка была бы незаконной. То есть признать по выдуманным основаниям организацию недобросовестной и инициировать против нее уголовное дело можно, а проанализировать ее работу на основании подлинных документов нельзя.
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ЦБ подкрепляет свое решение, во-первых, целыми восемью обращениями граждан – несколько более поздними, чем полумифические краснодарские. Но ни одно из которых не подано членом кооператива.
Граждане интересуются в своих обращениях: кооператив законен? Нет ли к нему вопросов у регулирующих организаций?
Во-вторых, актом осмотра официального сайта кооператива – в нем зафиксированы новости и структура личных кабинетов, больше ничего.
То есть решение, заблокировавшее нормальную деятельность кооператива более чем на два года, приведшее к аресту его счетов, абсолютно ни на чем не основано. Вернее, основано на заказе мафии, стремящейся захватить кооператив и конкурентов, борющихся с кооперативом.
При этом Центробанк рассказывает, что включение в список – это только информирование потенциальных потребителей финансовых услуг о рисках, но сам же себе противоречит, говоря, что именно ЦБ обратился в Роскомнадзор о блокировании информационных ресурсов кооператива, именно он обратился в прокуратуру и органы внутренних дел с предложением возбудить уголовное дело. И именно на основании письма его Северо-Западного главка уголовное дело начало расследоваться в том числе и в отношении кооператива. При этом за несколько лет расследования ни одного криминального эпизода не найдено: деятельность кооператива абсолютно юридически чиста.
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По поводу судьбы кооператива «Бест Вей» и других кооперативов депутаты Государственной думы неоднократно обращались к руководству ЦБ, в том числе лично к Эльвире Набиуллиной. Они предлагали разобраться в ситуации, при необходимости ввести дополнительный контроль со стороны ЦБ, который снимет сомнения со стороны ведомства.
Набиуллина в прошлом году публично пообещала на пленарном заседании Думы проработать вопрос кооперативов, совместно с депутатским корпусом выработать компромиссные предложения – но за более чем год ничего не сделано!
Кооперация в России продолжает торпедироваться, а ведь это важнейший для экономического роста в стране сектор – способный аккумулировать миллиарды рублей (на счетах «Бест Вей» – более 4 млрд рублей!) и направить их в развитие экономики. Это важнейшее направление решения жилищного вопроса – альтернатива ипотеке, которая недоступна подавляющему большинству граждан и единственное, чему помогает, – это обогащению банков и мафии, стремящихся прибрать к рукам деньги граждан.
Круговая порука
Атаки центробанкиров на кооператив носят целенаправленный характер. Достоверно известно, что они велась с одобрения первого зампреда ЦБ Владимира Чистюхина – не говоря уже о бывшем и нынешнем руководителях Северо-Западного главка ЦБ Савинской и Петровой, бывшем директоре (упраздненного в прошлом году) Департамента противодействия недобросовестным практикам Валерии Ляхе, а также главе забравшего его функции Департамента небанковского кредитования Илье Кочеткове.
Это не что иное, как круговая порука. В прошлом году к руководителю службы по защите прав потребителей и обеспечению доступности финансовых услуг ЦБ Михаилу Мамуте обратились по поводу очевидного нарушения законодательства – банки отказались исполнить судебное решение о снятии ареста со счетов кооператива (позднее арест был наложен снова). Мамута под мифическими предлогами отказался наказать банки.
Очевидно, что происходит не что иное, как целенаправленное заказное преследование кооператива – в интересах неких сил, волю которых стремится исполнить Центробанк.
Атаки, с одной стороны, в интересах банкиров, стремящихся установить ипотечную монополию и перекрыть кислород кооперации, а с другой – тайных кукловодов, стремящихся захватить более 4 млрд на счетах кооператива.
Атака центробанкиров на кооператив должна быть вскрыта, расследована, виновные должны быть привлечены к ответственности!
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