David Shade’s Manual, Vol. 1
June 9, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Interviewing for High Self-Esteem Women
By David Shade
www.davidshade.com
I specifically interview for high self-esteem women. The most comprehensive discussion on self-esteem I have seen is by Nathaniel Branden at nathanielbranden.net. He articulated it well when he wrote:
"Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; and to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite."
He defined self-esteem as "being competent to cope with the challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment, and happiness are right and natural for us. It is a consciousness to trust our self. It strives for rationality, coherence, clarity, and truth."
He defined six practices of a healthy self-esteem:
1) Living consciously: Respect for facts, open to new knowledge and feedback, and seeking to understand the world and ourselves.
2) Self-acceptance: Realism applied to self. The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning.
3) Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for life and well being and for the attainment of our goals.
4) Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
5) Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them.
6) Integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we profess to admire.
"What all these have in common is respect for reality."
What we call high self-esteem and low self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden calls self-esteem and pseudo self-esteem. He defined pseudo self-esteem as: "trying to compensate for deficiencies; a pretense at a self-confidence and self-respect; the effort to protect self-esteem with denial and evasion, which only results in a further deterioration of self-esteem."
Pseudo self-esteem can be easily identified by: "the defensiveness with which insecure people may respond when their errors are pointed out, or the extraordinary feats of avoidance and self-deception people can exhibit with regard to gross acts of non-consciousness and irresponsibility, or the foolish and pathetic ways people sometimes try to prop up their egos by the wealth or prestige of their spouse, the make of their automobile, or the fame of their dress designer, or by the exclusiveness of their golf club."
Traits of pseudo self-esteem include: delusional, ignorance, denial, evasion, betrayal of consciousness or conviction, lack of integrity, grandiosity, fantasies of superiority, conceited (exaggerated opinion of oneself,) boasting, arrogance, and the victim mentality of blaming others. What all these have in common is the lack of respect for reality. But the biggest indicator is the angry denial of low self-esteem or the denial that self-esteem is significant or desirable.
I have found the following to be true of HSE women and LSE women:
LSE women are insecure and seek validation from men.
HSE women are secure in themselves and have nothing to prove.
LSE women have a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled.
HSE women are self fulfilled.
LSE women will manipulate a man to make him meet her needs.
HSE women know exactly what they want in a man, and when they find one enjoy who he is.
LSE women are quick to obtain their man’s tokens of devotion, such as expensive gifts or immediately requiring a monogamous relationship.
HSE women are suspicious of expensive gifts early on, and do not decide that they want a relationship with the man until she gets to know him well.
LSE women would steal a man if it would give her affirmation.
HSE women are not at all interested in another woman’s man.
LSE women trade sex for attention and for verification that they are attractive and worthy.
For HSE women, sex is about sharing and celebrating sexuality.
LSE women respond to being treated poorly in an attempt to prove their worthiness.
HSE women expect to be treated well and respond only to that.
For a LSE woman, it’s not about the man, it’s about her own needs.
For a HSE woman, it’s about what her and her man enjoy together.
LSE women blame their problems on other people. They have the victim mentality.
HSE women assume personal responsibility for their own lot in life.
LSE women are motivated by moving away from bad.
HSE women are motivated by moving towards good.
LSE women must control others by manipulation.
HSE women see that as unhealthy.
LSE women are drama queens.
HSE women seek harmony.
LSE women have a warped sense of deservedness.
HSE women have a healthy sense of deservedness.
Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman’s biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men.
A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.
Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.
This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.
Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy’s girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy’s girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy’s girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two
good parents in a good relationship.
A Daddy’s Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be routing for you.
The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she
associates with. If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she’s got one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren’t a psychiatrist or a therapist, there’s not much you can do about it. And even then, it’s usually futile.
So, how do you specifically interview for high self-esteem? Don’t just ask her if she has high self-esteem. The low self-esteem women will insist that they do, and the high self-esteem women sometimes are modest about it. Instead, covertly look for the traits of high self-esteem. The first sign is if she has a hearty firm handshake and good eye contact. The most trustworthy sign of self-esteem is if she can take a compliment
well. But don’t ask her if she can take a compliment well, because all women will say they do. Instead, somewhere in the conversation, I will pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the
compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self-esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self-esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, which is what I want.
I will also get conversation to where we talk about past relationships. This gives me a very good idea about her sense of deservedness. I will listen for signs of how she was treated by her men. That describes how
she will be most comfortable. If she complains about how her men mistreated her, it is a very bad sign. But if all her men were very interested in her pleasure, then that is a very good sign. They are the women who will most appreciate, and best respond to me.
Then I will test for ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Eventually in the conversation, I will say "You know, I bet that when you were a little girl, about 7, you had a very close relationship with your father." If she didn’t, it will tend
to break rapport, as it should. But if she did, then it always servers to increase rapport in a massive way. Usually she will ask why I say that, and I will go into my ‘Daddy’s girl’ theory. The Daddy’s Girls always love it. But the ones who were not Daddy’s Girls will go into a long illogical discourse attempting to explain why they nonetheless have a high self esteem.
There is a very simple formula for dealing with Daddy’s Girls: Do all the things her daddy did to her, plus all those things her daddy dreaded a man like you would do to her.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
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“I fully expected that this is a short-term event, because those are much more common,” Scholz said. “When the burst kept going through July and August, I was absolutely stunned.”
Follow-up observations made using the Webb telescope also showed that the chemistry of the disk had changed. Water vapor, present during the growth spurt, wasn’t in the disk before. Webb is the only telescope capable of capturing such detailed changes in the environment for such a faint object, Scholz said. Prior to this research, astronomers had only ever seen the chemistry of a disk change around a star, but not around a planet.
Comparing observations from before and during the event showed that magnetic activity seems to be the main driver behind how much gas and dust is falling on the planet — a phenomenon typically associated with stars as they grow.
But the new observations suggest that objects with much less mass than stars — the rogue world is less than 1% the mass of our sun — can have strong magnetic fields capable of driving the growth of the object, according to the study authors.
An infrared image taken with the Visible and Infrared Telescope for Astronomy shows Cha 1107-7626, a dot located in the center.
An infrared image taken with the Visible and Infrared Telescope for Astronomy shows Cha 1107-7626, a dot located in the center. ESO/Meingast et al.
A planet that acts like a star
The origin of rogue planets remains murky. It’s possible they are planets that are kicked out of orbit around stars due to the gravitational influence of other objects. Or perhaps they are the lowest-mass objects that happen to form like stars. For Cha 1107-7626, astronomers said they think it’s the latter.
“This object most likely formed in a way similar to stars — from the collapse and fragmentation of a molecular cloud,” Scholz said.
A molecular cloud is a massive, cold cloud of gas and dust that can stretch for hundreds of light-years, according to NASA.
“We’re struck by quite how much the infancy of free-floating planetary-mass objects resembles that of stars like the Sun,” Jayawardhana said in a statement. “Our new findings underscore that similarity, and imply that some objects comparable to giant planets form the way stars do, from contracting clouds of gas and dust accompanied by disks of their own, and they go through growth episodes just like newborn stars.”
The directives largely roll back efforts made over the last decade attempting to eradicate toxic culture in the military, both to decrease harmful behaviors like harassment, but also to meet practical needs of getting people in uniform and keeping them there longer as the military branches faced years of struggles filling the ranks.
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Many major reforms were described by the officials who implemented them as driven by that need; when former Defense Secretary Ash Carter opened up combat roles to women in 2015, he said the military “cannot afford to cut ourselves off from half the country’s talents and skills” if it wanted to succeed in national defense.
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And while the military had made changes in recent years in an attempt to lessen instances of harassment, discrimination or toxic leadership by creating reporting mechanisms so that troops would come forward, Hegseth said those efforts went too far and were undercutting commanders.
“The definition of ‘toxic’ has been turned upside down, and we’re correcting that,” Hegseth vowed on Tuesday, adding that the Defense Department would be undertaking a review of words like “hazing” and “bullying” which he said had been “weaponized.”
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The chief of staff of one of Kyiv’s volunteer formation legions, Andriy, whose call-sign is Stolyar, said his unit is composed of people from all walks of life – from construction workers to businessmen to poets.
He told CNN the training for his legion lasts for about six weeks and includes basic knowledge, simulator practice and topography lessons. Andriy asked for his last name not to be published for security reasons.
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The chief of staff of one of Kyiv’s volunteer formation legions, Andriy, whose call-sign is Stolyar, said his unit is composed of people from all walks of life – from construction workers to businessmen to poets.
He told CNN the training for his legion lasts for about six weeks and includes basic knowledge, simulator practice and topography lessons. Andriy asked for his last name not to be published for security reasons.
“A person must understand how to operate an aircraft. Drones are becoming increasingly complex – this is aviation, and it requires constant attention, knowledge, and skills,” he said.
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Дизайн интерьера играет важную роль в создании комфортной и уютной атмосферы в доме. Сегодня мы поговорим о таком понятии, как дизайнерский ремонт, который позволяет превратить обычное жилье в уникальное пространство, отражающее индивидуальность владельца.
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Что такое дизайнерский ремонт?
Дизайнерский ремонт — это комплекс работ, направленных на создание оригинального дизайна помещения. Это не просто обновление отделки, а полноценный творческий процесс, включающий разработку концепции, подбор материалов и мебели, а также реализацию проекта.
Ключевые особенности дизайнерского ремонта:
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- Индивидуальный подход к каждому проекту.
- Использование качественных материалов и современных технологий.
- Создание уникального стиля, соответствующего вкусам заказчика.
- Оптимизация пространства для максимального комфорта и функциональности.
Виды дизайнерских ремонтов
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Существует несколько видов дизайнерских ремонтов, каждый из которых имеет свои особенности и преимущества.
#1 Дизайнерский ремонт квартиры
Это наиболее распространенный вид ремонта, подходящий для тех, кто хочет обновить интерьер своей городской квартиры. Специалисты разрабатывают проект, учитывая размеры помещений, пожелания клиента и бюджет. Такой ремонт включает перепланировку, замену коммуникаций, отделочные работы и декорирование.
Пример дизайна: светлая гостиная с панорамными окнами, минималистичный дизайн кухни и спальни в стиле лофт.
#2 Дизайнерский ремонт дома
Такой ремонт предполагает полное преобразование жилого дома, начиная от фундамента и заканчивая крышей. Здесь важно учитывать архитектурные особенности здания, климатические условия региона и предпочтения владельцев. Часто используется экодизайн, натуральные материалы и энергосберегающие технологии.
Пример дизайна: просторный холл с камином, стеклянная веранда с видом на сад, спальня в пастельных тонах.
#3 Дизайнерский ремонт виллы
Ремонт вилл требует особого подхода, поскольку такие объекты часто расположены в живописных местах и имеют большую площадь. Важно сохранить гармонию с окружающей средой, используя природные материалы и цвета. Особое внимание уделяется созданию зон отдыха, бассейнов и садов.
Пример дизайна: роскошная вилла с бассейном, открытая терраса с видами на море, спальная зона в тропическом стиле.
#4 Дизайнерский ремонт коттеджа
Коттедж отличается от обычного дома наличием придомового участка и возможностью организации дополнительных функциональных зон. Ремонт коттеджей включает работу над фасадом, ландшафтом и внутренним пространством. Стили могут варьироваться от классики до хай-тека.
Пример дизайна: двухэтажный коттедж с мансардой, гостиная-столовая в скандинавском стиле, детская комната с игровой зоной.
#5 Дизайнерский ремонт пентхауса
Пентхаус — это элитное жилье, расположенное на верхних этажах зданий с панорамными видами. Для такого типа недвижимости характерны высокие потолки, большие окна и эксклюзивные элементы декора. Проектирование пентхауса требует учета особенностей конструкции здания и пожеланий клиентов относительно приватности и удобства.
Пример дизайна: современный пентхаус с открытой планировкой, кабинет с видом на город, зона отдыха с джакузи.
Заключение
Дизайнерский ремонт — это возможность создать идеальное пространство для жизни и отдыха. Независимо от того, хотите ли вы обновить квартиру, дом, виллу, коттедж или пентхаус, профессиональный подход гарантирует вам комфорт и эстетическое удовольствие на долгие годы.
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Target is in trouble. And while it’s easy to get lost in the company’s recent (poor) handling of American culture war narratives that cast it as too “woke” or too willing to cave to online fascists, the root of Target’s problems runs deep.
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Don’t get me wrong – the massive consumer boycotts from Black organizers have done damage. And there are probably folks on the far right who think even Target’s toned-down, overwhelmingly beige Pride merch this year was still too loud.
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But its stock is in the gutter and sales have been falling for two years because of good ol’ business fundamentals. It overstocked. It lost the pulse of its customers. It went up against Amazon Prime with… actually, does anyone know what Target’s Amazon Prime competitor is called?
The brand we petite bourgeoisie once playfully referred to as Tar-zhay has lost its spark. The company reported a decline in sales for a third-straight quarter, part of a broader trend of falling or flat sales for two years. Employees have lost confidence in the company’s direction. And 2025 has been a particularly rough financially, as Black shoppers organized a boycott over Target’s decision to cave to right-wing pressure on diverse hiring goals.
Shares were down 10% Wednesday.
It’s not to say the new guy, Michael Fiddelke, is unqualified. He’s been at Target since he started as an intern more than 20 years ago, after all. But Wall Street is clearly concerned that Target’s leadership is underestimating the severity of the need for a significant change— just as President Donald Trump’s tariffs on imported goods threaten the entire retail industry.
Appointing a company lifer “does not necessarily remedy the problems of entrenched groupthink and the inward-looking mindset that have plagued Target for years,” Neil Saunders, an analyst at GlobalData Retail, said in a note to clients Wednesday.
Missing the mark
In its 2010s heyday, Target became a go-to for consumers who liked a bargain but didn’t necessarily like bargain-hunting. The shelves felt well-curated. You’d go to Target because it had one thing you needed and 12 things you didn’t know you needed. It was stocked with Millennial cringe long before Gen Z gave us the term Millennial cringe.
Target’s sales held strong through the pandemic as remote workers set up home offices and stocked up on essentials. Months of lockdown also benefited the store as people began refreshing their spaces because they didn’t really have much else to do and they were staring at the same walls all the time.
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Дизайнерский ремонт: искусство преображения пространства
Дизайн интерьера играет важную роль в создании комфортной и уютной атмосферы в доме. Сегодня мы поговорим о таком понятии, как дизайнерский ремонт, который позволяет превратить обычное жилье в уникальное пространство, отражающее индивидуальность владельца.
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Что такое дизайнерский ремонт?
Дизайнерский ремонт — это комплекс работ, направленных на создание оригинального дизайна помещения. Это не просто обновление отделки, а полноценный творческий процесс, включающий разработку концепции, подбор материалов и мебели, а также реализацию проекта.
Ключевые особенности дизайнерского ремонта:
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- Индивидуальный подход к каждому проекту.
- Использование качественных материалов и современных технологий.
- Создание уникального стиля, соответствующего вкусам заказчика.
- Оптимизация пространства для максимального комфорта и функциональности.
Виды дизайнерских ремонтов
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Существует несколько видов дизайнерских ремонтов, каждый из которых имеет свои особенности и преимущества.
#1 Дизайнерский ремонт квартиры
Это наиболее распространенный вид ремонта, подходящий для тех, кто хочет обновить интерьер своей городской квартиры. Специалисты разрабатывают проект, учитывая размеры помещений, пожелания клиента и бюджет. Такой ремонт включает перепланировку, замену коммуникаций, отделочные работы и декорирование.
Пример дизайна: светлая гостиная с панорамными окнами, минималистичный дизайн кухни и спальни в стиле лофт.
#2 Дизайнерский ремонт дома
Такой ремонт предполагает полное преобразование жилого дома, начиная от фундамента и заканчивая крышей. Здесь важно учитывать архитектурные особенности здания, климатические условия региона и предпочтения владельцев. Часто используется экодизайн, натуральные материалы и энергосберегающие технологии.
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Пентхаус — это элитное жилье, расположенное на верхних этажах зданий с панорамными видами. Для такого типа недвижимости характерны высокие потолки, большие окна и эксклюзивные элементы декора. Проектирование пентхауса требует учета особенностей конструкции здания и пожеланий клиентов относительно приватности и удобства.
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Это наиболее распространенный вид ремонта, подходящий для тех, кто хочет обновить интерьер своей городской квартиры. Специалисты разрабатывают проект, учитывая размеры помещений, пожелания клиента и бюджет. Такой ремонт включает перепланировку, замену коммуникаций, отделочные работы и декорирование.
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Early in Bill Clinton’s presidency, Clinton aides similarly attempted to bar journalists from the “upper press” area, causing an outcry. That ban was rescinded.
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Journalists had normal access to the offices during President Trump’s first term in office. But in his second term, Trump and his aides have taken several steps to stymie news coverage and circumvent traditional media outlets.
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Last winter, the administration blocked the Associated Press from attending some White House events, leading to a First Amendment lawsuit that is still working its way through the courts.
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The administration has also stopped publishing transcripts of Trump’s remarks; has taken control of daily press pool assignments; and has invited fawning pro-Trump commentators to presidential Q&As.
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Some cabinet secretaries have followed Trump’s lead. Last month, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth implemented severe new restrictions for Pentagon press pass credentialing, leading virtually every major media outlet to reject the rules and give up access to the Pentagon complex.
CNN’s Samantha Waldenberg contributed to this report.
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Israel used widely banned cluster munitions in Lebanon,
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photos of remnants suggest
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The images, which have been examined by six different arms experts,
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appear to show the remnants of two different types of Israeli cluster munitions found in three
different locations: south of the Litani River in the forested valleys of Wadi Zibqin,
Wadi Barghouz and Wadi Deir Siryan.
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