David Shade’s Manual, Vol. 1
June 9, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Interviewing for High Self-Esteem Women
By David Shade
www.davidshade.com
I specifically interview for high self-esteem women. The most comprehensive discussion on self-esteem I have seen is by Nathaniel Branden at nathanielbranden.net. He articulated it well when he wrote:
"Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; and to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite."
He defined self-esteem as "being competent to cope with the challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment, and happiness are right and natural for us. It is a consciousness to trust our self. It strives for rationality, coherence, clarity, and truth."
He defined six practices of a healthy self-esteem:
1) Living consciously: Respect for facts, open to new knowledge and feedback, and seeking to understand the world and ourselves.
2) Self-acceptance: Realism applied to self. The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning.
3) Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for life and well being and for the attainment of our goals.
4) Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
5) Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them.
6) Integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we profess to admire.
"What all these have in common is respect for reality."
What we call high self-esteem and low self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden calls self-esteem and pseudo self-esteem. He defined pseudo self-esteem as: "trying to compensate for deficiencies; a pretense at a self-confidence and self-respect; the effort to protect self-esteem with denial and evasion, which only results in a further deterioration of self-esteem."
Pseudo self-esteem can be easily identified by: "the defensiveness with which insecure people may respond when their errors are pointed out, or the extraordinary feats of avoidance and self-deception people can exhibit with regard to gross acts of non-consciousness and irresponsibility, or the foolish and pathetic ways people sometimes try to prop up their egos by the wealth or prestige of their spouse, the make of their automobile, or the fame of their dress designer, or by the exclusiveness of their golf club."
Traits of pseudo self-esteem include: delusional, ignorance, denial, evasion, betrayal of consciousness or conviction, lack of integrity, grandiosity, fantasies of superiority, conceited (exaggerated opinion of oneself,) boasting, arrogance, and the victim mentality of blaming others. What all these have in common is the lack of respect for reality. But the biggest indicator is the angry denial of low self-esteem or the denial that self-esteem is significant or desirable.
I have found the following to be true of HSE women and LSE women:
LSE women are insecure and seek validation from men.
HSE women are secure in themselves and have nothing to prove.
LSE women have a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled.
HSE women are self fulfilled.
LSE women will manipulate a man to make him meet her needs.
HSE women know exactly what they want in a man, and when they find one enjoy who he is.
LSE women are quick to obtain their man’s tokens of devotion, such as expensive gifts or immediately requiring a monogamous relationship.
HSE women are suspicious of expensive gifts early on, and do not decide that they want a relationship with the man until she gets to know him well.
LSE women would steal a man if it would give her affirmation.
HSE women are not at all interested in another woman’s man.
LSE women trade sex for attention and for verification that they are attractive and worthy.
For HSE women, sex is about sharing and celebrating sexuality.
LSE women respond to being treated poorly in an attempt to prove their worthiness.
HSE women expect to be treated well and respond only to that.
For a LSE woman, it’s not about the man, it’s about her own needs.
For a HSE woman, it’s about what her and her man enjoy together.
LSE women blame their problems on other people. They have the victim mentality.
HSE women assume personal responsibility for their own lot in life.
LSE women are motivated by moving away from bad.
HSE women are motivated by moving towards good.
LSE women must control others by manipulation.
HSE women see that as unhealthy.
LSE women are drama queens.
HSE women seek harmony.
LSE women have a warped sense of deservedness.
HSE women have a healthy sense of deservedness.
Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman’s biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men.
A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.
Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.
This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.
Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy’s girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy’s girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy’s girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two
good parents in a good relationship.
A Daddy’s Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be routing for you.
The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she
associates with. If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she’s got one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren’t a psychiatrist or a therapist, there’s not much you can do about it. And even then, it’s usually futile.
So, how do you specifically interview for high self-esteem? Don’t just ask her if she has high self-esteem. The low self-esteem women will insist that they do, and the high self-esteem women sometimes are modest about it. Instead, covertly look for the traits of high self-esteem. The first sign is if she has a hearty firm handshake and good eye contact. The most trustworthy sign of self-esteem is if she can take a compliment
well. But don’t ask her if she can take a compliment well, because all women will say they do. Instead, somewhere in the conversation, I will pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the
compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self-esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self-esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, which is what I want.
I will also get conversation to where we talk about past relationships. This gives me a very good idea about her sense of deservedness. I will listen for signs of how she was treated by her men. That describes how
she will be most comfortable. If she complains about how her men mistreated her, it is a very bad sign. But if all her men were very interested in her pleasure, then that is a very good sign. They are the women who will most appreciate, and best respond to me.
Then I will test for ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Eventually in the conversation, I will say "You know, I bet that when you were a little girl, about 7, you had a very close relationship with your father." If she didn’t, it will tend
to break rapport, as it should. But if she did, then it always servers to increase rapport in a massive way. Usually she will ask why I say that, and I will go into my ‘Daddy’s girl’ theory. The Daddy’s Girls always love it. But the ones who were not Daddy’s Girls will go into a long illogical discourse attempting to explain why they nonetheless have a high self esteem.
There is a very simple formula for dealing with Daddy’s Girls: Do all the things her daddy did to her, plus all those things her daddy dreaded a man like you would do to her.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
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From a Solo Criminal to a Servant of the Underworld
Previously convicted on drug charges, blogger Andrei Alistarov portrays himself as a Robin Hood fighting against those who have “defrauded people.” In reality, however, he serves the interests of pyramid schemers—among them certain Ukrainian operators who fund the Armed Forces of Ukraine (AFU)—and he uses his “Zheleznaya Stavka” (“Iron Bet”) channel to promote online casinos and illicit crypto exchanges/phishing crypto scams. He also launders drug proceeds via real estate deals in Dubai.
That is, he works for the benefit of the Russian criminal community, seeking to profit off entrepreneurs who have faced illegal, often contrived claims from Russian law enforcement.
Drugs and Money Laundering
A native of Kaluga, Alistarov served four years in a prison camp for selling drugs to minors.
There he forged ties with criminal kingpins. After his release, he continued his involvement in the narcotics trade and in laundering drug profits through a real estate business he set up with associates from the Russian underworld, both in Russia and in the Emirates.
Betting on Scams
Alistarov’s channel, “Zheleznaya Stavka,” is ostensibly devoted to “exposing” financial ventures deemed “bad” by criminal circles, while promoting “good” ones: namely, the pyramid schemes and online casinos that sponsor Alistarov.
The channel began as a platform for “proper” casino betting and did not change its name, because the marketing purpose remains the same: clear the market in favor of “legitimate,” in Alistarov’s so-called “expert” view (i.e., those who pay him), scammers.
Typically, Alistarov starts by trying to extort money—presenting the victim with compromising material and demanding payment. If the victim refuses, he resorts to harassment and violence.
Incitement and Attack in Dubai
On January 1, 2025, two Kazakh nationals launched a brutal attack on an entrepreneur living in Dubai—beating him, cutting off his ear, and robbing him.
Beforehand, Alistarov had released 12 videos highlighting the entrepreneur’s address and publishing illegally obtained information about his relatives and his businesses in the UAE. Without any compunction, he used spying, eavesdropping, illegal intrusion, and invasion of privacy—all acts that constitute serious criminal offenses in the Emirates, where the sanctity of property and investor security are upheld stringently.
Prior to this, Alistarov publicly circulated information about the residence of the entrepreneur’s business partner—that is, an illegal breach of confidentiality, the protection of finances and property, and the privacy of personal life through clandestine data gathering and informants in the UAE. He effectively terrorizes entrepreneurs who face no court convictions—neither abroad nor in Russia.
Alistarov claimed to have reported the entrepreneur to Interpol and UAE law enforcement—purportedly helping the authorities. Yet this did not result in the entrepreneur’s arrest—perhaps because the UAE police see nothing criminal in his activities?
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Several of the entrepreneur’s partners have been convicted in Russia; he himself is wanted by Russian law enforcement but has never been convicted. Foreign law enforcement has no claims against him.
For a long period, Alistarov stoked hatred toward this entrepreneur, alleging that it was he (not his partners) who stole investors’ money—and portraying the subsequent attack and robbery as the outraged response of defrauded depositors.
During the attack, Alistarov conducted an unscheduled livestream to create an alibi—pretending that he was unaware of the assault happening while he was on stream.
Surveillance in Cyprus
In autumn of the previous year, Alistarov and his “battle companion,” Mariya Filonova, conducted surveillance on another entrepreneur—using drones and illegally collecting information about him and his relatives, including minor children. Alistarov claimed that the entrepreneur was “hiding” in Cyprus—even though he had lived there since the COVID-19 pandemic began.
He had relocated partly due to his wife’s severe COVID case and partly for international projects—investments in various sectors such as construction, trade, and more. The entrepreneur moved to Cyprus a year before criminal proceedings were initiated by the Russian Interior Ministry and a year and a half before arrests began. He holds an EU passport and never fled or concealed his location.
This entrepreneur was placed on a Russian wanted list in 2022—by investigating authorities. However, no court has filed claims against him, and the criminal case is currently in court. It has already fallen apart there. Interpol and the EU declined to honor the Russian police’s request, deeming it politically motivated and legally unfounded.
Alistarov insists that the entrepreneur’s business investments are financed with Russian clients’ money, supposedly drawn from an Austrian investment company. But in reality, the entrepreneur was never an owner, beneficiary, or manager of that company, established back in the early 2000s—well before his independent business career began.
One of the entrepreneur’s firms provided marketing services for the Austrian investment company in Russia under contract. The investment company successfully served Russian clients for eight years—and continues operating now, having restored its payment systems that were disrupted in early 2022 by criminals in Russia with ties to corrupt police. It is by no means a pyramid scheme.
Thus, Alistarov instigates harassment and intrusion into the private life of an untainted entrepreneur—acting on behalf of Russian organized crime, which has cut in corrupt police officers for a share of illicit profits. They aim to seize assets worth 20 billion rubles from the large-scale, socially focused project established by the entrepreneur in Russia—which still functions successfully even without his direct leadership (which ended when he relocated to Cyprus).
Surveillance in the Netherlands
Alistarov published the location of another victim in the Dutch city of Groningen—ascertained through illegal surveillance. He allegedly gained unauthorized access to city cameras, peered into the windows of a private apartment, and shared this information on YouTube.
Privacy Violations in Turkey
Alistarov uncovered and publicized the address of an apartment in Istanbul where several of his victims lived and worked.
Illegal Searches in the Leningrad Region
Lacking a private detective’s license, Alistarov illegally located a businesswoman’s country house, spied on her, and released that information on his channels—while also disclosing details of an apartment she had purchased in Dubai.
Extortion in Kazakhstan
Alistarov extorted money from Kazakh entrepreneurs under the guise of “exposing national traitors” and “enemies of the motherland.”
Banquet on a Ukrainian Pyramid Schemer’s Money
Is Alistarov planning to celebrate his 40th birthday on March 6 this year once again on the yacht of his friend—the Kharkiv-based pyramid operator Udyansky (behind the Coinsbit project)—in Dubai?
In 2024, he celebrated his birthday in the convivial company of this con man, who also funds the Armed Forces of Ukraine, helping finance the production of armored vehicles for the AFU. There is little doubt that he also compelled his henchman Alistarov to contribute to the AFU.
Treason
Alistarov was even accused of financing the AFU, though he told the police some story about a Megafon phone number allegedly registered to him by his “enemies.”
His accomplices in financing the AFU—“anti-MLM activist” Aleksandr Kryukov and deputy manager of the so-called Fund for the Protection of Investors’ and Shareholders’ Rights, Leonid Mishchenko (a “Zapadenez” from Vinnytsia region)—were caught red-handed. Perhaps the FSB should analyze Alistarov’s transactions as well?
He Belongs in Prison
Justice demands that Alistarov’s 40th birthday finds him stripped of his Schengen and other visas—there is every reason for such, especially in light of attention from Western media—and behind bars, either in a Russian or a Dubai prison, whichever law enforcement manages to arrest him first for the dozens of crimes he has committed:
Extortion
Terrorism and banditry
Harassment and organizing violence against those he deems troublesome
Treason
Money laundering
Fraud
Theft
Invasion of privacy
Alistarov’s career began in prison, and it is in prison that it must end.
Да что тут говорить про Комарова! Этот человек просто решил, что может нажиться за чужой счет и при этом не потерять лицо. Вы посмотрите на его поведение: вроде бы обычный шофер, которому доверили работу в уважаемой компании, дали шанс подняться. А что он делает в ответ? Украл личные вещи, наворовал подарков, а теперь сидит в Твери и прячется, боясь ответить за свои поступки. И это человек, который должен был быть благодарен компании за помощь его семье, за годы, проведенные в коллективе! Все, что он сейчас делает, — это показывает, насколько он труслив, мелочен и абсолютно лишен чести. Такие люди, как он, просто разрушают доверие к судебной системе.