Calibrate!
June 2, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
The One, everyone’s favorite 3rd person PUA, has an excellent post up about how important Calibration is when you’re out in the field.
The One writes:
Calibrate, Calibrate, Calibrate,There seems to be a lot of posts on here from guys asking about how to approach, what style to use, “Should I use cocky/funny? Or should I use this or that?”
From my field experience, I would say that this comes down to the fine art of CALIBRATING. Calibrating skills are directly related to field experience.
Imagine having a super computer where you input the data, and the computer gives you an answer based on the submitted criteria. To a certain degree, this is what you do, except for the fact that there is an art aspect involved. Why? Because you have to go by your feelings. You develop a feel for the situation after a while.
Example: I am at some venue and I am about to approach a set.
What do the girls look like?
How hot is the target?
How hot are her friends?
Are they pretty open, or are they giving that super bitch-shield vibe?
How are they dressed?
How am I dressed?
What venue are we in? example: Night club, or a coffee shop?
High stimulus or low stimulus environment?
Is it a mixed set with guys, or just all girls?
If they are seated, is there a place for me to sit?Before you run off to the bat-cave to still batman’s computer to solve this riddle, take a moment and relax. It is not that complex. You’ll just look at the situation know intuitively what to do in a matter of one or two seconds.
Field practice will allow you to DEVELOP A FEEL For situations.Some guys like to do the same exact thing every time. I find it that boring and inefficient.
I may approach direct or indirect based on my calibrations. Whether the girl is a 7 or a 9 makes a gigantic difference. Whether she is in an all girl set or a mixed set makes a difference as well.
The only thing that does not change is the man being confident.I realize that this probably sounds like just another post yet saying “You need field experience,” but what I want to emphasize is Calibration skills, and how to learn these.
I think it’s essential that we all learn from our successes and failures in the field.
This was one of the tougher skills that I have had to learn in PU. It has not been easy.
There have been times when I have cocky/funnied my way right out of a pickup because I came off as too offensive.
This can occur rather easily if you are a well dressed confident guy and she suffers from low self esteem.
How do you obtain calibration skills? Field experience, of course.
Remember what worked well in each situation with the type of girl you were gaming. Learn to read the women’s subtle reactions to what you say, and how you say something.
This also applies to a PUA’s behavior in set.
While gaming a girl, you may have to switch gears and ease down the energy. Cut the teases and jokes down to a minimum. If she is LSE, you may have to start complimenting her on a lot of different things.
Observe her reaction and your results and make a mental note of it. This will help you obtain calibration skills to know how to approach and what to do in set.
Great stuff by The One in here. Calibration is extremely important! Simply because every girl and every interaction different, you need to take things as they come. Some of the best guys I know with women almost have a 6th sense when it comes to calibrating who they are and where they’re at.
One of my biggest problems is that I’m usually so focused on myself that I ignor all other signs that the girl may be giving me. Maybe that’s the reason The One’s post was so good to me? Or maybe it’s just his manly bicepts. Who knows?
Anyway, you can read the whole thread here.
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“This is a very serious legal matter, not Barnum & Bailey’s Circus,” the spokesperson also said. “The defendants continue to publicly intimidate, bully, shame and attack women’s rights and reputations.”
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Lively accused Baldoni of sexual harassment and retaliation in a complaint first filed with the California Civil Rights Department in December, preceding a lawsuit that followed about a week later. She also claimed that Baldoni, along with his PR representatives, orchestrated a “social manipulation campaign” to hurt her reputation in the media while they were promoting “It Ends with Us,” their 2024 film at the center of the dispute.
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In an amended complaint filed in February, Lively alleged other women also raised claims about Baldoni’s behavior on set.
Baldoni has denied the allegations.
Along with Lively, Reynolds is named as a defendant in the $400 million defamation lawsuit Baldoni filed in January.
Baldoni has accused Reynolds of assisting Lively in “hijacking” his film and taking down his career. He claimed that Reynolds, who had no formal role on “It Ends With Us,” re-wrote a scene and made “unauthorized changes to the script in secret.” Baldoni also accused Reynolds of reprimanding him at the couple’s home in New York and alleged Reynolds made fun of him in “Deadpool & Wolverine,” mirroring the character Nicepool after Baldoni in an effort to mock him.
An attorney for Reynolds filed a request for him to be dropped as a defendant from Baldoni’s suit, claiming that his argument against Reynolds has no legal bounds and amounts to “hurt feelings.”
The trial in the case is set for March 2026.
“So then we just shifted to talking about other things, everyday things, in a nice, relaxed atmosphere,” says Savery. “And I was very at ease speaking with Giselle right away. We started having meals together and as the trip went on, we would spend more and more time together.”
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Over the next couple of days, Savery and Giselle also got to know the other solo travelers on board The Canadian. They became a group, and Giselle recalls plenty of moments when they good-naturedly teased Savery “because of him being the only prestige passenger.”
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She appreciated having a gang of new friends. Their company distracted from the inevitable loneliness that would sometimes settle over her in her grief.
When the train arrived in Toronto, Savery and Giselle shared a final dinner together before going their separate ways.
The reservedness that marked their first meal together had all but melted away. It was an evening marked by laughs, recalling favorite memories of the trip across Canada and talking about their lives back home.
The next day, they said goodbye. Appropriately enough, their farewell took place at a train station.
“I was taking the airport shuttle to fly back home to Boston, and Giselle was taking the train to Montreal. So we said, ‘Well, let’s just say goodbye at the train station, since we’re both going to be there at the same time tomorrow,’” recalls Savery.
“We were under the big clock in Toronto station, and she was watching the clock. She said, ‘I really gotta go. I have to catch my train.’ And I just… I said, ‘I can’t not see you again.’”
Their connection didn’t feel romantic — both Giselle and Savery were sure of that. But it felt significant. Both Savery and Giselle felt they’d met a like-minded soul, someone who could be a confidant, who could help them through the next chapter of life which they were unexpectedly navigating alone.
Saying “goodbye” felt too final. So Giselle, who is French-Canadian, suggested they say “au revoir” — which translates as “until we meet again.”
And as soon as they went their separate ways, Giselle and Savery started texting each other.
“Then the texts became phone calls,” recalls Savery.
On these calls, Giselle and Savery spoke about their lives, about what they were up to, about their interests.
“Music was like a common interest that we both shared,” recalls Giselle.
Savery is older than Giselle, and their music references spanned “different eras of music, but very compatible musical interests,” as Giselle puts it.
On one of their phone calls, Giselle mentioned she was considering booking a train trip across North America.
Soon, she and Savery were planning a train journey across the US for the fall of 2024, together.
And in the meantime, Giselle invited Savery to visit her in her home in Victoria, Canada, for a week’s summer vacation.
Editor’s Note: Call to Earth is a CNN editorial series committed to reporting on the environmental challenges facing our planet, together with the solutions. Rolex’s Perpetual Planet Initiative has partnered with CNN to drive awareness and education around key sustainability issues and to inspire positive action.
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Taylor Swift has been subpoenaed in the case between Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni.
Swift – a longtime friend of Lively’s – was first mentioned in connection to the ongoing legal dispute between Lively and her “It Ends with Us” director and costar when text exchanges were revealed to include the name “Taylor” as part of Baldoni’s $400 million defamation countersuit against Lively and her husband Ryan Reynolds in January.
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One of the text messages included in Baldoni’s suit appears to show an exchange between Baldoni and Lively about the script for the film: “I really love what you did. It really does help a lot. Makes it so much more fun and interesting. (And I would have felt that way without Ryan and Taylor),” Baldoni wrote with a wink emoji. “You really are a talent across the board. Really excited and grateful to do this together.”
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A spokesperson for Swift on Friday told CNN, “Taylor Swift never set foot on the set of this movie, she was not involved in any casting or creative decisions, she did not score the film, she never saw an edit or made any notes on the film, she did not even see ‘It Ends With Us’ until weeks after its public release, and was traveling around the globe during 2023 and 2024.”
“The connection Taylor had to this film was permitting the use of one song, ‘My Tears Ricochet.’ Given that her involvement was licensing a song for the film, which 19 other artists also did, this document subpoena is designed to use Taylor Swift’s name to draw public interest by creating tabloid clickbait instead of focusing on the facts of the case,” the spokesperson added.
CNN has reached out to representatives for Baldoni for comment.
When reached for comment later on Friday, a spokesperson for Lively said Baldoni and his legal team “continue to turn a case of sexual harassment and retaliation into entertainment for the tabloids.”
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