The Pitfalls of Single Motherhood
May 12, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews
Sexkitten had a post up on her blog sending a special Mother’s Day Shout-Out to all the Single Moms out there.
Sexkitten writes:
SINGLE MOTHERS LOOKING FOR LOVE
I want to send out a special mother’s day wish to all the mothers in the world. And a super shout out the the single moms. It’s hard enough to be single and looking for love, but when you’re a single mom it’s especially difficult. Single moms have all kinds of new concerns to deal with. Should we allow the man that we’re dating to sleep over? If so, do we wake him up to leave before the kid(s) wake up? Should we even introduce our child/children to the men we date unless the relationship has moved beyond the dating stage? But before there’s even a date, we have to worry about finding good and afforadable babysitters. Everything has to be planned down to the last minute. Sometimes we’re late for our date, sometimes we can’t make it at all. Sometimes the dress don’t fit anymore.The kid’s well being comes first, but we also need time to ourselves, and yes, we have to keep the passion burning, keep the dreams alive never losing touch with who we are. We are all individuals with individual needs and desires and those needs and desires matter.
You know, I’ve dated a few single moms in my time, and all I can say to you guys out there is DON’T DO IT! I don’t care how hot or special they may be, IMHO, Single Mothers are simply more trouble than they’re worth.
I know this may sound hearless, but I don’t care. With the exception of women who are widowers, I think most single moms are irresponsible on so many levels. Society makes single motherhood out to be some sort or "triumph" for the human spirit, when in reality it’s just justifying the stupidity and self-centeredness of the female race.
Honestly, single motherhood isn’t good for ANYONE. The kids suffer from the lack of parenting. The woman suffers from an overload of responsibility. And any man who gets involved with a single mother and her children always gets neglected because, as Sexkitten points out, the KIDS COME FIRST! Not only that, but the guys get the even SHORTER end of the fuck stick, because if he sticks around long enough, he could be footing the bill for that kid even if him and the mother break up.
Maybe it’s just my utter lack in understanding of chick logic, but I cannot understand why anyone would want to be a single mother. I can see why guys would want to date single moms (I do understand guy logic). Pussy is pussy, and single mom’s seem like a good target. Busy women who are starving for male attention. But what guys fail to realize is that these women are extremely manipulative. Why did they have the kid in the first place? Most of the time, I’m willing to bet that it was to either trap some poor guy into a relationship, or milk some guy for every cent that he’s worth.
Not only that, but the fact that she’s had kids before demonstrates a dangerous presidence for getting knocked up. I mean, have any of you guys ever had a girl who WANTED to have your kid? Maybe not because she wanted YOUR kid, per say, but just A kid, because she felt like she wanted a new toy in her life? If you date a single mom, your chances of knocking her up increase exponentially! Why? Because she knows how to wrangle things to make it happen!
To me, personally, single motherhood is not something to be celebrated. If I were to give my "I have a dream" speach, it would be that all men all over the world stood up, and in one voice, decried "We ain’t going for that single mom pussy no more!" See how many single moms there are then, when no man will touch one. Society will be better off for it in my opinion.
There are a lot of different sides to this issue, and I can assure you I’m not covering all of them. It just irks me when I see people celebrating irresponsibility like this. Maybe I don’t get it, because I’m not a chick, but from where I stand, let the AFCs have all the single moms they want. I’m gonna go for the women that have time to spend on ME!
/end rant
DavidLop on 
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ScottreN on 
Agreed. There’s a single mother who sits behind me in English, and she’s insanely self-centered. She flirts way too openly with guys because it’s obvious she’s desperate, but usually she’s just talking about her kid and how rough her life is.
Ick. She’s 17, by the way. Doesn’t get much worse than that.
What’s the URL to Sexkittens blog?
I usually don’t comment on morale or ethics in seduction boards, but this is, in my humble opinion, so much bullshit that I can’t leave it on the road.
Plus, it’s very arrogant. I hope I can attribute that to your youth.
For one, do you really think women give birth to a baby with the goal of being a single mom? Of course not; the relationship didn’t work out, the birth control didn’t have the desired effect, or something else. Single moms are often single because the man was abusive or left. Saying that *all* of them are irresponsible is the reflection of a pretty simple world view.
Do you really think that all single moms are looking for a father all the time, trying to get any man they meet into a provider role? I’ve had LTRs (what the heck are you talking about with “dating”?) with three single moms and all of them were very cautious in bringing in a father figure into the lives of their children.
Indeed, most of the single moms I know are extra ambitious to “make it up” to their child. Many of them have the support of their families, so that I never experienced the lack of attention you describe – some were definitely more caring towards me than some career-oriented business women I know.
Finally, the view that one attribute defines the whole person is beyond me. I wouldn’t want to rule out the love of my life just because she is already taking care of her child.
I have no doubt that the type of women you describe do exist. Generalizations are not my thing, though, and I think you should judge a woman for the individual that she is.
And thanks for leaving Heidi Klum and Niki Taylor to me.
First off, I think someone needs to put a skirt or SirItalian. I respect your comments, but you do come off a little like a wuss…damn near female, I’d say. Never seen a human with balls (literally) get so defensive over a female related topic.
Maybe it’s just me.
As for single mothers, I agree with TC…DON’T DO IT. There are too many women WITHOUT kids to have to worry with the headache of the one’s WITH kids. 6 Billion people on earth. Most of them women. I think I can find AT LEAST ONE without a kid, don’t you think? I remember one woman telling me that, if I wanted to get married, I’d have to settle for a woman with a kid and I had no choice about it….because that’s the way things are today…BULLSHIT.
In EVERY instance I’ve been in, a woman with kids was ALWAYS looking for a man to take care of her kids. I’m trying to get to know THE WOMAN. To be honest, I’m not really all that interested in the kids to begin with. Just being real. I’m either trying to fuck the woman or have a relationship with and THEN fuck the woman, but I’m not trying to become a ready-made daddy.
Most of the kids that I’ve encountered were just plain brats. Also, it’s hard to run up on a woman with multiple kids by the same daddy. It’s like 3 babies and two or 3 baby’s daddies and a shit load of drama.
Then there’s the issue of ATTENTION. I like attention…I’m not an attention brat, it’s just that I’d like the basic attention that a person deserves to have when you’re getting to know them. You can’t get that from a woman always canceling plans because the kid is THIS and THAT.
And finally, you have to realize that it takes TWO TO TANGO. We as men have to stop looking at women like poor innocent victims who got stuck with the baby. They are just as responsible for getting knocked up as the man is. They are just as responsible for the guy leaving as he was. To be real about it, alot of women get stuck with the kids because they made it a point to try and trap “a good fuck” (read: jerk, badboy, thug) in a relationship by making him a father.
The problem is that most of the good fucks don’t give a fuck about women outside of fucking. Nice guys would make great fathers, but women don’t like THEM now do they?
If women would stop fucking low-life’s and stop having plots to trap low-life’s who really aren’t interested beyond sex…then there wouldn’t be as many fatherless kids running around today.
And that’s all I have to say on the issue.
In my opinion things arent so black or so white. I agree with sir italian that you guys are generalizing too much, it seems that for you women = evil not to be trusted. which makes me think of why the hell are you so intent in learning to pick them up.
Women are individuals, you will find some great and some disgusting, and life may have given some of the good women a twist putting them in this situation, thus making them good women with a big responsability, and thats it. But take in consideration that doesnt mean that there are no bitches out there. It is just that i prefer to know the person before judging, because we are not all the same.
“most of the time, I’m willing to bet that it was to either trap some poor guy into a relationship, or milk some guy for every cent that he’s worth.”
Dude, are you deliberately neglecting all the women who marry men with 100% pure intent to co-parent and then get divorced or dumped? I agree with everything you say about single motherhood is not a good thing, and it behooves men not to get involved with single mothers, but I think you cross the line in blanket blaming them for their circumstances.
I think more often than not that people go into it with good intentions, and for some reason or another the marriage just doesn’t hold. I hope to god that it’s only a small minority of women who consider children as relationship tools in the way that you’ve proposed.
Woah, you’re acting like single mom’s do this on purpose and it’s something they’re proud of. Most I’ve talked to online and a few I met have miserable lives and wished they never made the mistake or believed the guy that he’d really stay around to be a father (otherwise they would have aborted).
I don’t know what prestige you’re talking about. It’s more of a stigma. You get prelabelled. Yes some are proud that they’ve been ableto perservere but not about the decision they mad. I presonally wouldn’t go for one, but let’s not prejudge
OK, I get it, I get it. I’m a single mom, don’t come near me. I don’t get upset when I hear or read about this subject, but I did want to defend myself just this once.
First of all, I need to say that I am very attractive, kind hearted, sweet and intelligent – not that it matters, but I hate the stereotype of “the single mom”.
I was with my boyfriend for 7 years and had two kids with him when he turned into a monster (I blame it on steroids). I ended up in the hospital because he beat me so badly. What am I supposed to do? Stay? Did I want to be a single mom? Hell no.
Just to let you know, I do take some responsibility for the mess that I’m in. I chose the guy – I might’ve been young, but I didn’t have to have children with him (of course he wasn’t abusive before I had my boys). Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but having children as young as I did, well, that was just stupidity on my part. Believe me, I’ve learned A LOT from this and this is a mistake that will never happen again.
I would never dream of doing some of the things that were mentioned above – trapping a guy or out looking for a daddy for my boys. Guys flock to me and I am the one who pushes them away because I actually have a stereotype about men who try to date single moms. Funny how it goes both ways, isn’t it?
What these men wrote is simply heartless. Being a single mother is not something a woman wants, but things happen and we have to decide on what to do next. Not everyone has a heart to kill a baby when its heart is beating inside you, I know I didnt. It doesnt make me a bad woman, it doesnt make me less attractive or desperate. It makes me proud and leaves me with some hope that if I ever have a son he doesnt turn out to be a ruthless amoral bastard too concerned with sex like you guys, because its men with an attitude like yours that create single mothers in the first place!
Ana,
Maybe many women don’t intend to get single, but at the same time there are many women who don’t want to get married and prefer to raise children on their own.
Frankly,
I don’t think it’s normal or right for a woman to raise kids by herself. Children need both a father and mother in their lives when they’re younger–it really does affect a child’s development and modeling if all he’s got is a woman to look up to.
I really believe that if all children were raised in families with strong fathers and mothers, PU Science would never have come into existence. SO to all those women who think they can raise children without a decent man: GET A CLUE
-Diesel