Stop Staying In Your Comfort Zone

In my book The Art of Approaching I talk about how someone’s “comfort zone” can be your undoing when it comes to getting the kind of women you desire. In fact, it’s this very same comfort zone that can be DETRIMENTAL to your development as a PUA. So the more you can do to get out of it, the better.

I found a post on the Don Juan Discussion Boards about tricks to get out of this comfort zone by a guy who calls himself StuartSan, and I thought he had quite a good couple things to say, though his thinking is that instead of breaking out of your comfort zone, you conquer your fears and extend that comfort zone to include that which you used to have a hard time doing. It’s a novel concept, and an idea that really sparks some interest in me.

StuartSan writes:
I was at a seminar when they were talking about the frog in boiling water.

For those of you who don’t what this is about, I’ve written it below:

The frog, being a cold-blooded creature, always adapts to its surroundings. It makes itself comfortable wherever it may be. Throw a frog in a pot of boiling water and it’ll jump straight out because of the sudden heat. But by putting it into a pot of warm water and boiling it, the frog dies because it becomes TOO comfortable with its surroundings, never wanting to change. By the time it realizes that the water is too hot, its already dead.

The story above is a perfect example for what I decided to post here today. NEVER be happy with where and what you are in life. Always change for the better. Learning is an ongoing process and you can only get better and better.

So you finally got kino mad skills?
Start working on something you’re not good at.
Work on your conversation skills.
Eye contact.
Face expression.
Body language.

So you finally got a good schedule and love the routine? Change something. Do something different. Do not be afraid to try new things. You can earn 50k a month, you can own a big car, you can have the most beautiful girlfriend any man could ever dream of having.. But you shall NEVER ever feel content. Do so, and you’ll end up like the frog.

Be too comfortable with your surroundings, and when things start to change, you won’t be able to cope. What you had will be lost. What you could’ve done, now you can’t.

In this ever changing world, you have to always be prepared for what the future holds. Opportunities only come once. When you’re 80 and your nuts are sagging, you’ll look back and kick yourself in your 80 year old wrinkly butt for not taking initiative. For not doing what could’ve gave you a better life today. For being too comfortable and realizing how much time you’ve wasted in the end.

Your life tomorrow will be the choices you make today. So get off that chair and start doing something. Call a long lost friend. Start a new business. Take a walk.

Either waste your day, or get out of your comfort zone and do something that isn’t natural to you. You’ll be happy in the end when you realize all the things you’ve been doing only made you stronger.

e.g: You get nervous when you talk to women. You get out of your comfort zone and start talking to some. You realize how easy it actually is. You conquer your fears and have succesfully extended your comfort zone. Now aim for the stars.

You can read the whole thread here.