Being talkative
April 20, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Analysis
I found this post on mASF Advanced about Achieving the Talkative State Before Approaching:
Narcissisto writes:
What’s the best way of getting into the talkative state before approaching? What’s the best way of keeping that state, or getting back to it if you let someone change it?
I think this is one of the hardest things to do when it comes to pick-up. I call it being in “social mode.” Most people get so complacent in their comfort zones, that it is just too hard for them to approach other people! But there are little tricks you can do to shift yourself out of your comfort zone and into social mode.
Often times, when I’m out to sarge with a wingman, they will instantly want to “do some sets” and start talking to girls right away. To me, this is very hard to do if I’m in my comfort zone, because the LAST thing I feel like doing is talking to girls. Most of my best nights have been when I’ve warmed-up properly and gotten into social mode BEFORE approaching girls. There are a few things that go into this:
1. Knowing what to talk about
2. Warming up with people who you do not have a vested outcome in mind.
3. Having High energy
I think these 3 things are important when getting into social mode. Knowing what to say can help you get the ball rolling on a lot of things, and saves your brain time and effort in thinking about how to get a conversation going.
When it comes to warming up with people who you do not have a vested outcome in mind, what I’m talking about here is namely — Men and Ugs. People you have no interest in fucking. Because you divest yourself of an outcome with these people, it helps you to get the mouth moving and get your energy up before approaching the real targets.
Getting High energy is usually either the first or last thing you will do. Going into warm-ups with a high energy already will help you to engage other people. If your energy is down, simply getting into good conversations with strangers will help to pump it up, because you’ll start to break out of your comfort zone.
I talk more about this in my book The Art of Approaching and will probably write an article about this topic soon, because I think it’s really important to know how to get social in environments where you want to pick-up.
I’d also like to add that having a few drinks in you can help. Sad, but true. =)
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Something I’m used to doing to “warm-up” is to talk to my wing a lot. This works for me very much, because I get to know him better (thus improving the sarging results) and we both always have something fun to talk about, thus getting social proof and getting us into a more high energy state.
Lots of times I use this high energy state we’re in to walk right into sets, asking them about whatever we’re talking about (opinion openers, usually). Works like a charm, because you two are already talking about whatever, so you have the frame, are already having fun, and you can do a easy takeaway by turning your back on the set and go back to talking to your wing.
-Luke
What also helps, is to view your first 3 sets as warm-ups. No results expected. See how far you can push it but no worries if it blows up.
That way you automatically get into a talkative mood. Especially since you’ll probably get good reactions from at least one of these sets, and I find it’s that validation that sets up the really social and talkative mood.
Something else I’ve used when out alone and if things aren’t going well. (we all have the nights where nothing works). Just start running short-set stuff. Say one or 2 lines to chicks, and high-five them. Nothing more. But do it to lots of chicks. It gets you more upbeat really quickly.
Wouldn’t it be interesting if ‘social mode’ was your base state.
You are a talkative person, you just can’t help yourself. It’s like, what you’ve got inside you…is so good…you’ve just got to share it with everyone!
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