Kill Your Desperation
April 15, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
There’s a really, really good post by Pook over at the DJ Discussion Forum about how women can pick-up on desperation in a man and what men can do to get rid of that desperation. It is funny how women have a kind-of 6th sense about that sort of thing (it’s almost as if they can SMELL how horny we are, lol). But then again, when you learn to see the signs, as women have, perhaps it’s not such a mystical thing…
Pook writes:
Being a Don Juan is not a net sum of smooth manuevers and methods but of your own outlook on the world and on women. ANYONE can memorize ‘techniques’, but FEW can change the way HOW they think. Women will be able to sniff out the former. But with the latter, women will be clawing each other for you.A Don Juan is a state of mind, not a list of methods and tricks.
This must be stated because it brings us to the subject of ‘desperation’.
In the end, we are all desperate with desire. We wouldn’t be looking for tips and answers if we did not desire a girlfriend or MULTIPLE girlfriends (being a bit ambitious, aren’t we?). We all want a woman (or women), but our desire and feelings brings out the desperation traits within us.
Where I work, I ask the women why they found a co-worker to be so desperate. Here are some of their answers:
-always giving the women attention.
-calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.)
-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)
-always available.
-NEVER willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS supplicating).
-etc.What theme can we find in the above? It is that the man puts the woman on the pedestal rather then himself.
Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was OBSESSED with you, always calling you, always available, and always spending her free time FOR YOU. Any interest you had for this woman would soon evaporate. Why? Because in your own mind you are thinking two things: “No one else must want her,” AND “If I can get her OBSESSED about me, I know I can get BETTER girls to be interested in me.” Her desperation is turning you off. The same is true for women.
Women are not attracted to desperate men. Period. I’ve told my co-worker this and his response: “Well, that is just who I am.” Eventually, he will realize that the only common denominator in his pattern of crash and burns will be HIM. So if anyone has told you that you’re desperate, consider that its true.
There is a KEY to removing desperation forever. There is no simple ‘trick’ that will kill the desperation. It will not be in how you dress, how you talk, or where you go for dates. No, the KEY is in how you think.
The KEY to killing desperation (and attracting crowds of women) is to THINK and BELIEVE that you are The Great Catch.
Desperate guys do not do this. They see the woman as the prize rather then themselves. They see that the woman must be ‘wooed’ rather then them. They will, thus, supplicate and become a ‘nice guy’. (And nice guys finish LAST.)
If you start treating a woman like precious gold, she will believe she is gold. And once she believes it, she will DUMP YOU because YOU have given her the sense that she is BETTER then you. Once she thinks that, she will want to REPLACE YOU with someone better, because you have given her reasons to believe that YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF HER GREATNESS.
After all, if we think we can ****** someone better, we will. This holds true for both men and women. The last thing we want is to settle for a mate when we could have gotten better. (This is why the element of challenge is so important in the Dating Game.)
The lesson: DON’T GIVE HER A REASON TO THINK SHE IS BETTER. You are the gold; she should be thrilled just to have A CHANCE with you.
The first step in becoming the Prince Charming every woman dreams of is to THINK OF YOURSELF AS A PRINCE.
When you BELIEVE you are that prince, that you are The Great Catch, all the ‘desperation’ signs you were emitting vanish and an aura of attraction will surround you. Combine this manner of thinking with all the Don Juan skills you know, and you will become irresistable.
Let us look at the desperation signs again:
-always giving the women attention.
Now that you’re The Prince, you don’t have time to give women attention. A Prince is kind, ENTHUSIASTIC, smiling, yet YOU have things to do. A Prince’s time is precious. A woman must win your attention; you shall not give it to them.
-calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.)
The Great Catch simply CANNOT call all the time because he has tons of other numbers. The Great Catch is not competing for a particular girl. The girls, rather, are competing for him.
-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)
Why would Prince Charming tell everything about himself to a woman? No, the woman must JUSTIFY HERSELF to him because YOU ARE THE GOODS. The Prince would reveal things about himself only as a reward. The woman loves the mystery in this and sees knowing the Prince as peeling layers of an onion, knowing him GRADUALLY.
-always available.
The Great Catch is busy with many many women! She must fight for your time, NOT the other way around.
-NEVER willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS supplicating).
Prince Charming wouldn’t accept ANY disrespect from any woman. If a woman gave him such disrespect, he WALKS AWAY. The Prince KNOWS all these women want to be with him so he can eject at any time.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Pook, I can’t act like a Prince Charming or The Great Catch. I DON’T have tons of women after me.” This is reversing CAUSE and EFFECT. ASSUME you are the Great Catch, THINK that you are, and as you think you shall become. It becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. Treat your hobbies as if they have more value then the women do (or treat your hobbies as if they WERE other women). When you think you are the Great Catch, you will act like it and the women will KNOW that you are.
Women love certain traits in guys. By THINKING you are The Great Catch allows you to emit these traits NATURALLY and without any effort.
-Good looks
You cannot change your genes. But you can change the way how you treat those genes. Does Prince Charming wear raggedy T-shirts? Does the Great Catch walk with his head down? NO! You will wear nice clothes and walk with pride BECAUSE you are proud of yourself. After all, you ARE one of the best. So treat yourself accordingly.
Anyone can wear a suit. But few can wear a suit proudly. Few can wear a suit that seems to fit them naturally and creates an aura of importance. Good carriage, excellent threads, are the CONSEQUENCE by how you think of yourself. Women know this and is the reason why you are judged by this criteria.
-Humor
Girls LOVE humor. Prince Charming and the Great Catch are funny because they know that they, themselves, are fun. They don’t worry, “My goodness, she is really cute! How can I attract her!?” They ASSUME she will be attracted and they have fun in the meantime.
Don’t be shy. Let your personality SHINE. When you think you are the Great Catch, this should come more naturally because you have nothing to fear.
-Dominance
You are THE MAN. You must be IN CHARGE. Desperate guys will try to be ‘nice’ in every which way to win the girl (and fail, of course). But Prince Charming and the Great Catch will SWEEP WOMEN OFF THEIR FEET. When you THINK you are the goods, you realize that it is ridiculous to treat a relationship and flirting as walking on eggshells. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around. After all, YOU are the prize to be sought.
Look at the soap operas and romance novels for grounds of this. Women like to be in the presence of a MAN, not a boy, not a chump, and certainly not a ‘nice guy’.
Dominance is also being sure of yourself. Do not speak in a soft tone. Speak STRONGLY and behave STRONGLY. After all, do you think Prince Charming worries about making mistakes? No, so neither should you.
I know, I know. I can hear you saying, “But I must worry about mistakes or else I’ll have another ‘learning experience’ on my hands.”
This is a GOOD THING. Let us say that, in a normal conversation, you came across a word you did not know how to pronounce. Most people will utter the word softly for fear of criticism. This is stupid. Say the word LOUD! Let me repeat, say the word LOUD! If you are wrong, you will be corrected. Clearing up mistakes is ALWAYS a good thing and should NEVER be feared.
The same applies with dating. Do not date with hesitation and shyness; date with all conviction. Remember, the biggest risk you can take in life is not to take any risks at all.
-Ambition
When you think yourself as The Great Catch, you KNOW women are not the priority of your life. After all, the Great Catch knows he can get any woman whenever he wants. When you feel good about life, you cease to fear success and demand Life show all that it has. Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you’ll be among the stars.
So in the end, too often men think they need a girlfriend to have their life ‘complete’. The consequence is that these men will emit signs of desperation. Success is achieved first through the mind, then through the world, never the other way around.
Good stuff. You can check out the whole thread here.
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While many visitors come to the area for the otherworldly landscapes of Badlands National Park, roughly 60 miles east of the city, or the wildlife viewing at Custer State Park to the south, the city offers its own unique scenery.
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Two beloved decades-old parks — Dinosaur Park and Storybook Island — have recently been upgraded to be disability accessible. Wheelchair-friendly Dinosaur Park includes seven life-size dinosaur statues and panoramic city views. At Storybook Island, six pieces of playground equipment are wheelchair accessible and have Braille panels and sensory panels for children with autism. The park is renowned for fairy tale character playsets, an antique carousel and a miniature train. Admission to both parks is free.
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Mountain bikers and hikers favor the panoramic views from trails within the 150-acre Skyline Wilderness Area, or from spots along the more than 20 miles of trails in Hanson-Larsen Memorial Park, where M Hill pays tribute to science and engineering university South Dakota Mines. All of these trails are located within city limits.
Jason Kingsbury is a tourist-turned-resident who relocated largely because of the city’s outdoor recreation. Kingsbury is an avid camper, mountain biker and fly fisherman.
“I was absolutely blown away with how much there is to do in Rapid City,” Kingsbury said. Accessing outstanding outdoor recreation in just minutes is unique, he said.
“A lot of people do not have that experience. They can go to Memorial Park and ride world-class (trails). They can ride there from their hotel — that really impresses people,” Kingsbury said.
“What a lot of people always say is ‘I can’t believe how cool this is. I never thought South Dakota had things like this,’” he said. “They realize real quickly we’re far more than just Mount Rushmore.”
Target is in trouble. And while it’s easy to get lost in the company’s recent (poor) handling of American culture war narratives that cast it as too “woke” or too willing to cave to online fascists, the root of Target’s problems runs deep.
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But its stock is in the gutter and sales have been falling for two years because of good ol’ business fundamentals. It overstocked. It lost the pulse of its customers. It went up against Amazon Prime with… actually, does anyone know what Target’s Amazon Prime competitor is called?
The brand we petite bourgeoisie once playfully referred to as Tar-zhay has lost its spark. The company reported a decline in sales for a third-straight quarter, part of a broader trend of falling or flat sales for two years. Employees have lost confidence in the company’s direction. And 2025 has been a particularly rough financially, as Black shoppers organized a boycott over Target’s decision to cave to right-wing pressure on diverse hiring goals.
Shares were down 10% Wednesday.
It’s not to say the new guy, Michael Fiddelke, is unqualified. He’s been at Target since he started as an intern more than 20 years ago, after all. But Wall Street is clearly concerned that Target’s leadership is underestimating the severity of the need for a significant change— just as President Donald Trump’s tariffs on imported goods threaten the entire retail industry.
Appointing a company lifer “does not necessarily remedy the problems of entrenched groupthink and the inward-looking mindset that have plagued Target for years,” Neil Saunders, an analyst at GlobalData Retail, said in a note to clients Wednesday.
Missing the mark
In its 2010s heyday, Target became a go-to for consumers who liked a bargain but didn’t necessarily like bargain-hunting. The shelves felt well-curated. You’d go to Target because it had one thing you needed and 12 things you didn’t know you needed. It was stocked with Millennial cringe long before Gen Z gave us the term Millennial cringe.
Target’s sales held strong through the pandemic as remote workers set up home offices and stocked up on essentials. Months of lockdown also benefited the store as people began refreshing their spaces because they didn’t really have much else to do and they were staring at the same walls all the time.
It’s no secret how President Donald Trump feels about sports teams turning away from Native American mascots. He’s repeatedly called for the return of the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians, claiming their recent rebrands were part of a “woke” agenda designed to erase history.
But one surprising team has really gotten the president’s attention: the Massapequa Chiefs.
The Long Island school district has refused to change its logo and name under a mandate from New York state banning schools from using team mascots appropriating Indigenous culture. Schools were given two years to rebrand, but Massapequa is the lone holdout, having missed the June 30 deadline to debut a new logo.
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The district lost an initial lawsuit it filed against the state but now has the federal government on its side. In May, Trump’s Department of Education intervened on the district’s behalf, claiming the state’s mascot ban is itself discriminatory.
Massapequa’s Chiefs logo — an American Indian wearing a yellow feathered headdress — is expected to still be prominently displayed when the fall sports season kicks off soon, putting the quiet Long Island hamlet at the center of a political firestorm.
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The district is now a key “battleground,” said Oliver Roberts, a Massapequa alum and the lawyer representing the school board in its fresh lawsuit against New York claiming that the ban is unconstitutional and discriminatory.
The Trump administration claims New York’s mascot ban violates Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits recipients of federal funds from engaging in discriminatory behavior based on race, color or national origin — teeing up a potentially precedent-setting fight.
The intervention on behalf of Massapequa follows a pattern for a White House that has aggressively applied civil rights protections to police “reverse discrimination” and coerced schools and universities into policy concessions by withholding federal funds.
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• Zelensky in Washington: Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has arrived in Washington, DC, where he will be joined by key European leaders when he meets with Donald Trump this afternoon. Trump says Zelensky must agree to some of Russia’s conditions — including that Ukraine cede Crimea and agree never to join NATO — for the war to end.
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It’s no secret how President Donald Trump feels about sports teams turning away from Native American mascots. He’s repeatedly called for the return of the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians, claiming their recent rebrands were part of a “woke” agenda designed to erase history.
But one surprising team has really gotten the president’s attention: the Massapequa Chiefs.
The Long Island school district has refused to change its logo and name under a mandate from New York state banning schools from using team mascots appropriating Indigenous culture. Schools were given two years to rebrand, but Massapequa is the lone holdout, having missed the June 30 deadline to debut a new logo.
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The district lost an initial lawsuit it filed against the state but now has the federal government on its side. In May, Trump’s Department of Education intervened on the district’s behalf, claiming the state’s mascot ban is itself discriminatory.
Massapequa’s Chiefs logo — an American Indian wearing a yellow feathered headdress — is expected to still be prominently displayed when the fall sports season kicks off soon, putting the quiet Long Island hamlet at the center of a political firestorm.
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The district is now a key “battleground,” said Oliver Roberts, a Massapequa alum and the lawyer representing the school board in its fresh lawsuit against New York claiming that the ban is unconstitutional and discriminatory.
The Trump administration claims New York’s mascot ban violates Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits recipients of federal funds from engaging in discriminatory behavior based on race, color or national origin — teeing up a potentially precedent-setting fight.
The intervention on behalf of Massapequa follows a pattern for a White House that has aggressively applied civil rights protections to police “reverse discrimination” and coerced schools and universities into policy concessions by withholding federal funds.
“Our goal is to assist nationally,” Roberts said. “It’s us putting forward our time and effort to try and assist with this national movement and push back against the woke bureaucrats trying to cancel our country’s history and tradition.”
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For people who cannot or choose not to breastfeed, infant formula is lifesaving, supplying their babies with precious nutrients they need to grow and thrive.
Concerned about contaminants and the use of controversial seed oils in the nation’s tightly regulated infant formula supply, US Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has launched a review of infant formula regulations he calls Operation Stork Speed.
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Yet while industry and experts debate those regulations, there is another type of “formula” — for toddlers ages 1 to 3 years old — that no one is overseeing.
“Toddler milks” are marketed to parents who have been using infant formula as a necessary next step in their child’s nutritional journey, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Critics say these expensive concoctions — first introduced into the United States in the 1990s — are not nutritionally necessary, may be contributing to childhood obesity, and should not be sold at all.
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Yet while industry and experts debate those regulations, there is another type of “formula” — for toddlers ages 1 to 3 years old — that no one is overseeing.
“Toddler milks” are marketed to parents who have been using infant formula as a necessary next step in their child’s nutritional journey, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Critics say these expensive concoctions — first introduced into the United States in the 1990s — are not nutritionally necessary, may be contributing to childhood obesity, and should not be sold at all.
In fact, some toddler beverages may be potentially harmful to young children due to excess added sugars, defined as sweeteners that don’t naturally occur in food, Fuchs said.
The recommended amount of added sugar for infants and children younger than age 2 is zero, according to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Yet research from 2019 found that on average, infants consume 1 teaspoon of added sugar a day while toddlers consume about 6 teaspoons a day.
“Infants and children exposed to high sugar, fat or salt in their diets develop a preference for these as they grow older,” Fuchs said. “Studies show this is a risk for childhood obesity and all of its consequences through adulthood.”
Cracker Barrel’s modern makeover doesn’t stop with redoing its restaurants. It’s dropping the barrel and the man from its logo, too.
On Tuesday, the Southern-inspired casual dining chain unveiled a new logo “rooted even more closely to the iconic barrel shape,” but without the barrel itself — a central part of the brand’s identity since 1977. (As for the the barrel itself, it was “essentially the water coolers of the day,” Cracker Barrel explained in a blog post.)
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The identity refresh also includes new TV commercials, a redesigned menu and several new fall-themed foods, part of a larger $700 million transformation plan to shake off its stodgy image and lure in new diners.
“The way we communicate, the things on the menu, the way the stores look and feel … all of these things came up time and time again in our research as opportunities for us to really regain relevancy,” said CEO Julie Felss Masino in 2024.
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In particular, the new logo is the latest in a string of changes angering some of its loyal fans who fear the 56-year-old chain is drifting too far from its bucolic roots. On social media, some users griped, with one writing that the “changing the logo just feels like another little piece of culture dying off.” The change also angered some conservatives, too, like President Donald Trump’s son.
Cracker Barrel has also been remodeling some of its 660-plus restaurants. The chain has “decluttered” the interiors by removing the country-themed trinkets that lined the walls and lightened up the interiors, shifting away from the dark woods. So far, reaction has been mixed on social media, with some videos on TikTok going viral voicing their displeasure.
Masino remains adamant that the renovations are working, telling ABC News this week that “people like what we’re doing” and that feedback has been “overwhelmingly positive.”
In June, Cracker Barrel posted an unusual earnings report for a restaurant: It’s taking a $5 million hit from tariffs because of its retail shops, which largely has products imported from overseas. Restaurant revenue and same-store sales both slightly grew, mirroring other increases casual dining chains are experiencing.
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Target is in trouble. And while it’s easy to get lost in the company’s recent (poor) handling of American culture war narratives that cast it as too “woke” or too willing to cave to online fascists, the root of Target’s problems runs deep.
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But its stock is in the gutter and sales have been falling for two years because of good ol’ business fundamentals. It overstocked. It lost the pulse of its customers. It went up against Amazon Prime with… actually, does anyone know what Target’s Amazon Prime competitor is called?
The brand we petite bourgeoisie once playfully referred to as Tar-zhay has lost its spark. The company reported a decline in sales for a third-straight quarter, part of a broader trend of falling or flat sales for two years. Employees have lost confidence in the company’s direction. And 2025 has been a particularly rough financially, as Black shoppers organized a boycott over Target’s decision to cave to right-wing pressure on diverse hiring goals.
Shares were down 10% Wednesday.
It’s not to say the new guy, Michael Fiddelke, is unqualified. He’s been at Target since he started as an intern more than 20 years ago, after all. But Wall Street is clearly concerned that Target’s leadership is underestimating the severity of the need for a significant change— just as President Donald Trump’s tariffs on imported goods threaten the entire retail industry.
Appointing a company lifer “does not necessarily remedy the problems of entrenched groupthink and the inward-looking mindset that have plagued Target for years,” Neil Saunders, an analyst at GlobalData Retail, said in a note to clients Wednesday.
Missing the mark
In its 2010s heyday, Target became a go-to for consumers who liked a bargain but didn’t necessarily like bargain-hunting. The shelves felt well-curated. You’d go to Target because it had one thing you needed and 12 things you didn’t know you needed. It was stocked with Millennial cringe long before Gen Z gave us the term Millennial cringe.
Target’s sales held strong through the pandemic as remote workers set up home offices and stocked up on essentials. Months of lockdown also benefited the store as people began refreshing their spaces because they didn’t really have much else to do and they were staring at the same walls all the time.
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Rapid City, South Dakota (CNN) —Nestled in the Black Hills of South Dakota, Rapid City is a scenic urban getaway that hasn’t lost its small-town vibe.
While it’s the state’s second largest city, visitors can explore its greenway, museums, art and history, or indulge in craft beer and increasingly diverse dishes — all within a few minutes’ drive, walk or bicycle ride.
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And the surrounding landscape is home to enough natural and manmade wonders — from the Badlands to the Crazy Horse Memorial — to keep you busy for a week or more.
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Rapid City promotes itself as the City of Presidents, a nod to its location 24 miles from South Dakota’s most iconic attraction, Mount Rushmore National Memorial.
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In town, locals know summer’s in full swing when tourists are snapping selfies with bronze statues of Harry S. Truman and Richard Nixon. Street corners throughout Rapid City’s historic downtown are home to life-sized sculptures of nearly all US presidents. (President Donald Trump’s statue has been unveiled and will be installed in fall 2025, and President Joe Biden’s statue is in progress).
The trail of presidents, which launched in 2000, is a self-guided experience. The visitor center downtown has a City of Presidents Guide, or you can download a digital version to take a walking tour or scavenger hunt.
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The moon goes by many names. August saw the full sturgeon moon while in March sky-gazers may have witnessed the blood moon, which occurs when the satellite appears to turn red during a lunar eclipse. You may have also heard of a blue moon, the second full moon to happen in one month.
And then there is the black moon, occurring this weekend, which is rare — and invisible.
This phenomenon will occur Friday night into the early hours of Saturday. The moon will be closest to the sun at 2:06 a.m. ET Saturday, according to EarthSky.
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What is a black moon?
Like a blue moon, a black moon isn’t an official term, but it refers to the second new moon in a month. It happens once every 29 months.
A new moon occurs when only its far side is illuminated by the sun, making it invisible from Earth. It marks the beginning of the lunar cycle.
“A black moon (or new moon) is when the moon is basically in between the Earth and the sun, not to make an eclipse, but where we don’t see the moon,” said Noah Petro, chief of NASA’s Planetary, Geology, Geophysics and Geochemistry Laboratory at Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland.
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What makes it different from a solar eclipse is the placement of the moon. In a solar eclipse, the moon passes in front of the sun, blocking some or all the sunlight and casting a shadow on Earth. But a new moon (and black moon) passes near the sun.
The term black moon can also refer to a month in which there are no new moons. This typically happens in February because the lunar cycle follows a pattern of 29.5 days, according to Petro. February usually has 28 days, except on leap years when it has 29 days.
Stargazers may have quite a view
Since the black moon will be invisible, moon watchers won’t have much to see.
But stargazers will have plenty.
“A new moon or the black moon is great for astronomers when it’s clear,” Petro said, “because you can go outside and have basically no light contamination from the moon.”
This is the best time of year to see planets, according to EarthSky, so after sunset or just before sunrise, you might be able to spot some celestial bodies, such as Venus, Mars and Saturn.
If you have binoculars or a telescope, you can also keep an eye out for the dumbbell nebula, the colorful, glowing remnants of an old star 1,200 light-years from Earth in the Vulpecula constellation. The nebula appears during the first half of the night.
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