The Most Important Attribute of a Pick-Up Artist

Tyler Durden has an interesting post up on mASF about what he thinks is the most important attribute to have as a pick-up artist. Of course, there are many important attributes to have, most of which have to be learned by most guys (hey, this is a subset of self-improvement after all), but I think Tyler makes some really good points in his post that should be addressed.

Tyler Durden writes:
Intelligence…. I’m really convinced of this.

I’m just looking at this new Eminem D12 video on MTV. Look at this guy. Girls love the guy.

Eminem is very very smart. He understands how to manipulate the public and popularity and the whole deal. Or maybe his agents do, I’m not sure. From what I know of the guy, he writes all his own stuff and has a very high level of creative control.

David D talked about this during his seminar. For most guys, we’re sharp with academically minded topics. Very logical topics. So its natural that we feel “neutered” by interactions with women, which are very emotionally based topics. Here you have all these smart guys who aren’t using that intelligence to take themselves to a higher social level.

But really, this community has a very sharp understanding of this topic now. I’m ripping through my old archive right now, pulling together material for product, and I’m looking at all my old posts. I’d actually forgotten how much of what’s now taken for granted in this community is shit that I had to figure out on my own. That’s because nobody else took the trouble to take a few minutes to actually just think about it. I really feel like I’ve never written anything on this chatboard that wasn’t blatantly obvious and simplistic. It’s just stuff that I noticed during various interactions. Like I’m looking at my old posts, and I’m seeing how pathetically basic they were before my 7th archive. By archive 7, things are starting to come together. Now I see interactions with omniscient precision.

The other night PlayboyLA and I picked up these 2 twins. My girl was a 9. Gorgeous. But PlayboyLA comes up to me and he says “Dude, c’mon man. Your girl is smokingm, but my girl isn’t up to par. Let’s hit the next set.”

I agreed with him. Her sister wasn’t hot. But then I look again. They’re dressed *exactly* the same…… Wait a sec, these girls are identical twins. WTF?? I told him and he thought I was kidding him.

My girl is smart. She’s flirty and she’s fun. They’re both hot, but her sister just doesn’t have any presence to her. It makes her seem a 7 at best. My girl is amazing. She argued for 15 minutes with her friends to have them all come back to our house, but we wound up having to make plans for the next day. We’ll see how it pans out.

The PUA’s energy has to extend beyond himself. It changes the way that girls perceive you and the way they think you look.

That’s the thing with projecting your presence and energy. It takes brains to calibrate the situation and work it. To see the social openings to pipe in, and to calibrate vocal projection and inflections. To streamline conversation to overload the girls’ brain so that she’s just attracted to you. I mean this a is big part of what attraction boils down to. You overload the girls’ brain with stimulation, until her social conditioning (ASD) gets disarmed, and her natural slut comes to the surface. I’ll post so much more on this at some point. The Blueprint.

Look at Eminem’s new D12 video. It’s genius. He’s so well calibrated to what’s going on. He knows exactly when not to take himself too seriously. When to release a video that’s serious. When to release something that makes a statement. When to do something rhetro. When to release something that’s pure fun fluff. When to go back to his Detroit roots. When to dress in drag and hop around like an idiot. Every video that comes out is calibrated to rise above what’s going on socially.

The guy stays on top of the game, via calibration. It gives him this aura of being above the game.

This is pure intelligence and social calibration. The same goes for game. You have to use the same intelligence to look at the subtle stuff. My humour calibration with women is so attuned from 7 nights a week in the field, that I can feel the energy of the interaction and pump it. I have so much humour calibration, I can see other guys working and where their timing is off. Where they’re not letting the buildup happen before the punch. Where they’re not overloading the girl with stimulation. Where they’re throwing in the comment at the right time. Where they’re saying something that they’re not congruent with, like a cocky remark that they haven’t gained the status yet to make it seem unforced. It’s all there, and its pure calibration.

I can FEEL in my gut when I do something wrong. I know it the second I do it. I think everyone does, but they don’t take the time to consciously debrief it.

Guys don’t focus on cultivating their natural personality. Like Twentysix – he’s a comical genius. The guy is so fucking funny, his website doesn’t do him justice at all. Anyone who has hung out with this guy in real life will say the same thing – funniest guy on the planet. But he wasn’t using that in set. WTF??? Same thign with PlayboyLA. He’s an ex theatre actor. The guy has so many impressions and acting skills. But he wasn’t tapping into them. Sickboy007 has a natural asshole calibration thing. To look at the guy, he seems like a total snob. But he was using other people’s stuff. The thing is, to calibrate your own strong points and bring them out in set so that they’re conveyed.

Now they’ve been forced to add that stuff in. I’d tell them and they’d think I was just bullshitting. That’s probably because they hadn’t had success with it in the past, because the way that they were conveying it wasn’t working. But now they use it 100%, and have different styles that I do that work equally well.

My strongest point is that I’m academic. That’s it. I don’t have that much else going for me. But I have that ONE thing that stands out. So I’ll bring this out in set, because my frame is stronger.

That’s the key peice. Having the stronger frame. I reinforce this by steamlining in the things that I want to talk about, and making them seem interesting. I can talk about the most dry topics, but add in a bit of C&F and mini-cold-reads type stuff, and make it seem totally deep and fascinating to the girl. I can relate it to her own life.

At the same time, me and my friends have our OWN BRAND of humour. It’s not necessarily the funniest shit you’ve heard, but the point is that we’re fully congruent with it and our frame seems stronger. So the girls get sucked into it.

Remember that humour is not about what is objectively funny. It’s purely within CONTEXT. What that means is like you can have British humour that most Americans don’t find funny. But because the context of the humour is established, humour is something that works within that context. Like rap. If you don’t understand the context of rap, you don’t know what constitutes good rap or bad rap. The same with writing. If you don’t understand what is a brilliant peice of literature, you don’t appreciate it. With humour, the context is established socially. We create that context with the strength of our frame. The little micro movements that we add in. Like our eye contact and our facial expressions. Do we project absolute congruence, or do we look doubtful in what we’re saying.

Contexts are SOCIALLY ESTABLISHED. The person or group of people with the strongest frame are the ones who establish it. BE THAT PERSON. Work on it with your friends when you’re on your own. Joke around, and have fun.

I want somebody to host some videos for me, because I have a new digital camera that takes fairly good quality videos. I’d love to post a video of me and my friends hanging out in the backyard with groups of chicks. Just seeing our vibe and how we joke around with eachother, and the girls have to chase us for our attention.

IMO, THIS YEAR’S BIGGEST ASF EMBARESSMENT – THE MYSTERY AND STYLE VIDEO.

That video was fucking GENIUS. Nobody could see it. They just want to see us plowing through mixed sets and getting IOIs shot at us at rapid fire. Yeah – that stuff is GREAT. But its EASY. Any newbie with some C&F and a few routines can learn it in under a week.

The hard part is learning to have a stronger frame and the vibe of cool people. That’s why guys get FLAKES. They have good attract material, but their vibe and frame and general mode of interacting isn’t up to par with what the girls want. Anyone getting flakes should take this into account. Guys say #s are crap. What a joke. That just shows that they aren’t natural in set, and that they need to improve socially. That is, rather than relying on just putting girls into state and hoping that they stay there until you fuck them on the same day, so that way they won’t come out of state and realize how lame you are. What a fucking joke. Man, I can’t believe the shit I read on this board sometimes. I feel bad about it.

Guys think that the Mystery and Style video was bad??? WTF?? That’s a flat embaressment to the community. It was a great video of friends hanging out, who were cool enough that girls would want to hang with them and sleep with them. That’s the harder part to learn. To socially calibrate. Not to gain rapid fire IOIs.

PlayboyLA and I have a funny dynamic. We sing stupid songs and we do imitations of people that we think are funny that the girls we pick up have never met. We have interesting conversations about art or style or anything else. But the girls get into it because our frame seems stronger than theirs. They want to connect with it.

We overload the girls minds, because we are flat way fucking smarter than them. The shit we talk about is cooler, and better timed, and more congruent.

All this comes down to intelligence. I know that most guys on this board read it and think that they’ll never get real game because they don’t have the looks. They read about it and they sort of believe it, but they don’t TRULY believe it. The thing is, that’s just some dumb ass shit, because its just wrong. Of course they’re right – 95% of guys on this board will never get game. They won’t put the time in.

Part of intelligence is seeing the game for what it is – a fun hobby. They have state issues. These state issues fuck them over because you can’t seem cooler than the girl if you’re nervous around her.

WTF??? How can you have state issues??? How can you be nervous on an approach. It makes no sense whatsoever. How can you be afraid of girls? I’m not afraid of any guy or girl on this planet. Why? Not because I’m a super hero or anything. I just look at it and realize that it wouldn’t make any sense. Like there’s no information to correlate that there would be any REASON to be afraid.

Intelligence also means taking long hard looks at yourself, and using your natural intuition to feel what you did that was right and what was wrong.

Umm yeah, my friends are yelling at me to go out.. I’m off.

Just like with the 25 Points or the AMOG stuff, I want to post something about social calibration that’s formulaic. Something that will change the game. It’s all in my head, but can I translate it? This is harder. I want to write something that will change the game for everyone in the community. It’s been brewing in my head for so long, but I don’t totally understand it yet myself. I travel and I realize that what I thought was right was somewhat off. I need to travel the world and keep taking notes. I’ve been talking to people about it from the scene, and they’re all impressed. But its not sharp enough.

You know, I tend to agree that intelligence is a big factor in becoming the kind of man who can easily engage and seduce women. But I really think that sometimes, that same intelligence can be a drawback. Most of the guys I’ve seen in my life have NOT been mental giants to tell you the truth. They’ve always been more “Me see girl, me get boner, me persist until she take care of boner.”

I think sometimes guys intelectualize too much with this stuff. I’ve had situations in the past where thinking instead of acting has cost me lays with women. I think most guys actually ahve to get DUMBER in order to get good with this stuff, because it’s about learning to shuck certain social constrictions and following instinct as opposed to it being more of a mental chess game.

That said, I think Tyler has a lot of great points in this post. I especially like this quote:

“Intelligence also means taking long hard looks at yourself, and using your natural intuition to feel what you did that was right and what was wrong.”

I think this comes down to more of a form of “social intelligence” than actual intelligence. A kind of “street smarts” for the club or party goer. The more I get into this little hobby of mine, the more my reality begins to shift as experiences open up to me that didn’t exist in my Average Frustrated Chump days. I think that’s because the more experience I get, the more socially sauvvy I become, and the more my social intelligence grows. In order to be good at something, and in order to become intelligent with something, I think it’s important to EDUCATE yourself in it. And with the art of picking-up women, you can only study a certain amount of theory before spinning your wheels. You HAVE to go out in the real world and do stuff. You HAVE to apply what you learn to real live women. You HAVE to mess up and keep messing up until you understand what it takes to succeed.

Anyway, I’m rambling. Here’s the link to the whole thread. It’s always good to check out the responses to a Tyler thread, because just as much can be learned from the replies of others to Tyler’s rather spastic and hip-hop laiden thoughts as can be in just reading TD’s post by itself. =)