Going Out Alone
March 29, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
Some dude who goes by Canadianguy posts about going out alone in the General forum of mASF.
Canadianguy writes:
A lot of the time lately, I’m finding I have nobody to go to clubs with on friday or saturday nights. So I usually don’t go, I end up wasting it. LAME.
I need to go out by myself, but when I’ve tried in the past it wasn’t so fun. Any tips on how to make clubbing solo fun?
Sirducer chimes in…
Sirducer writes:
Been there, done that and it is UNFUN. Seriously any guys who will tell me that sarging clubs/bars on a sat or fri night alone is fun are mind fucking themselves into believing loneliness is fun UNLESS you instantly open sets and make them your pivots/friends. The down of this will be when you find out that you dont actually like these people or they reject you.
Its MUCH more fun to sarge with wings/friends. You can have a chat about the progress of the night, social proof each other etc and it makes it FUN.What you should do when going out alone to sarge is have some kind of a goal to achive that night. Be it opening 20 sets or getting a few kiss and # closes or fclose.
I usually sarge clubs with friends and hardly ever go to pubs, but one night I did sarge alone in a pub and it was one of the most boring and worthless nights…although come to think of it I approach sets in clubs alone and all my closes have been when I approached alone. So sarging a big club alone would actually be cool, sarging pubs alone… sucked.
Well, I agree that going out alone can be a daunting task to say the least. But whenever I have gone out by myself to sarge, I have always had a good time. I think it’s because if I’m alone, I force myself to approach more than when I’m out with friends.
See, though it may be more fun to go out with buddies, the sad truth is that most of the time, those friends will keep you from being successful with women. Either they will cockblock you accidentally, or the pull of that comfort zone will be too great to escape from. I agree with Mystery that going out by yourself is probably the single best way to be successful at picking up women.
When I go out with friends, I will often have to break away from them (or we all split up) to talk to girls, otherwise we find ourselves stalling out and keeping each other from approaching because it’s much more fun just to stand around and bullshit with your buddies.
But if you want any chance of getting in good with chicks, you GOTTA go it alone at some point. Having a good wingman certainly helps, but you can’t use that as a crutch. You gotta be able to do it alone, and I think if more guys went out by themselves, they’d see their skill level increase dramatically.
You can read the rest of this thread here.
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I saw the post on mASF this Sunday morning. I go out quite a bit on my own and have learned alot about my self in the process. As of late however I have a few good experienced wings for overall support like: Snowbro(or Palo Alto SS fame), No9, and 26.
I have gone out days on end..playing night time game by myself(actually the past 3 years has been me on my own. If I have been literally hibernating do to other priorities etc…it takes me a bit just to open the set with routines in the club.
I may go out during the daytime and just talk to retail people just to get in a talkative state and have the gab going.
My first night out in a club I may just make more observational/situational types of comments or I may really peacock in my attire and just let people approach me which happens a lot as well. This allows me to get more comfortable and just not give a shit.
By Day 2 or 3 of night time game my skillsets and tools really KICK IN and I am flowing.
I was for a time very stubborn to go wing with someone because of past experiences with a wing. My old wing and myself had different goals and had challenges vibing in the field at times although he is one of my trusted friends now.
For about a good year I just sarged on my own in clubs. I have always done a lot of state and energy based exerises from RJ etc however I have my own process and it takes some time. I have at times gone from complete homebound for a few weeks do to studies and business and right into club mode.
The transistion can be like damn everyhing is so different but you get the vibe. I even just watch people for a day or so at night and just dance with some chicks.
But what is my point..fuckin rambling..I have as of late learned quite of bit from the above mentioned guys who are more experienced then myself so the winging experience is better. For a while i would make up so much excuses not to wing with others. One thing I can NOT stand is if a guy is just not socially adjustable and I have met many in our local lair in Toronto.
I do have compassion and give the bros general advice “dude get crest white strips” or “dude you gotta at least bath” or dude ” No Kmart/Wallmart gear(although I have gotten away with certain things
” etc BUT I won’t go out with them until they get really adjusted because I have my own challenges in the game as it is.
Going out alone is awesome and in my city the local PUAs call me a lone wolf but I have some experienced guys I vibe with well now and have their shit together. I am embracing both explorations. Going out alone helps me get out of my comfort zone and going out with experienced guys increases my learning BIG TIME.
Ok enough.
Later.
Dangerous
Ok now I got some errands out of the way. So I can make comments that give my own clear insights and experiences etc regarding going out alone.
One of my biggest inspritations was Mystery through his advise in person, online, and archive(first 2months on asf) regarding going out alone.
Also Orion and Kamal from the old Troubleshooters tapes emphasised the importance and difference between going out alone and going out with friend(s). Basic wrap up: Going out with friends is fun and cool to show new shit, vibe , hang, etc.. but I think Ben stressed this if you really wanna get laid most of the time you have to go at it when your alone from a pickup standpoint and for some of us even the bedroom.
I remember also in conversation with Mystery I was expressing my frustration with going out alone..and he mentioned to me and this is not exact words but that when your going to fuck her your going to be alone…in the field as he said you just need to pawn someone a stranger whatever and get them involved in the process, for other obstacles etc and the imporant thing I got from him was even with your wing man your still alone.
Also I am in a bit of a dry spell so the motivation is there(hey I’m honest here..no internet ego crap for me). Plus after a while I kinda got really used to it and enjoyed it more then winging…fuckin weird but cool experiences.
Before I go out on my own I look at the venues events whatever in my city that is taking place. Through the web, research, network, etc..KNOW YOUR CITY.
I also have personal rituals like my favourite music playing off my computer, a cup of tea, whatever gets me going. I also don’t drink or smoke… so I have to be a bit creative, draw from some anchors in regards to my state at times etc.
If I really wanna go fuck with some people(in a good way of course) I will go to a large nightclub or event like with a 1000 people and more. For me also to I like to test in the night because it makes my daytime process alot better. I only look as nighttime game as an experimentation environment to get my daytime interactions and game better. I find although night time chicks are fun..daytime chicks have better qualities for me at least.
Again I have my own challenges so night time for me although its a freakshow at times it does help in controling my energy in my daytime interactions. I am less jittery, anxiety, with my daytime is much more smooth..its just me. Some of you don’t have these challenges…I know myself and understand my process.
I may pay at times a nasty cover but look at it as an investment to HAVE FUN WITH PEOPLE I most probably won’t see again.
I will dress in something a bit OUTRAGEOUS in attire..so people open me up as well.
I will stick it out a minimum 3 to 4 hours until I am content even if I am done actually opening people, ran out of material, or just frustrated I will sit back, enjoy the vibe, and take in the music.
I kinda look at everything as mini and real success.
I generally too grew up around the clubscene so some things are not that foreign for me. If the music is tight and DJ can spin right I will jam.
I will just talk to everyone from staff..door people, security, whatever. Even if I had a bad set I will find another end of the club and work it out there unless of course its a confrontation and that’s very very rare. What works for me as well is knowing some of these idiots at night are under drugs, alcohol, etc. So I have stopped placing importance on what they think because their fuckin losers as it is…not all but some. Plus its dark and the way I dress at night is not the way I dress during the daytime especially if its something really out there in attire.
So people don’t remember you especially if you are there for the night. Also club demographics change every couple of years. The weekday is lined up as follows in general.. Monday to Wednesday you get the regulars..from Thursday to Saturday you get the tourists, suburbs, university crowd, etc. Sunday is a bit weird. If its a long weekend fuckin everyone is out.
I may luck out at times and buck into people I know…from puas or just people from back in the day.
I also switch up between the nights I go out depending on my level of comfort. I sometimes will start off in a very urban gun clappers,hoodrat environment or I might switch to a rave where there is a large amount of people.
I will go from a salsa club because I like salsa and I dance salsa(my identity). Some nights maybe something more upscale, euro, whatever..cougar/milf venues.
I guess my point is I fuckin EXPLORE and ENJOY THE ADVENTURE I am having. I feel I am also too getting a sense of independence as well to do what I want to do. I know my city pretty well and parking and all that jazz. I know my free venues…which helps too for something different and unfamiliar.
A lot of the content above is different expeiences and process I was going through at times so some of my challenges are non-existent.
A lot of my tools come from RJ,Mys,Orion,TD,Swing etc….anyhow thats my ramble.
I hope this helps someone with ideas, direction, thoughts etc.
Later for now,
Dangerous
scary. hate to see the coordination on dangerous topics…
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